[Music]
Hello friends, welcome to This Day in
Jack Benny. I'm John Henderson. This
episode is from June 6th,
1937. In the episode, they mention the
movie Death Takes a Holiday. You see, I
am not of your world. I am the point of
contact between eternity and
time. Death. I am about to take a
holiday to discover why men fear me as
they do. I shall take only 3
days. After
that I must go back. Mary Livingston was
working on a movie called This Way
Please.
This way, please.
It's a cinch. All you have to do is
please the customers, which is no cinch.
You must meet all kinds of people. I'll
say, but all you have to worry about are
the men. They may come in the theater
alone, but they don't want to go home
that way. Oh, I see. Yes. They're all
either misunderstood or lonesome. They
think they have a girl in every aisle.
This episode features Eddie Anderson,
Rochester, before he was ever named
Rochester. At this point, he's just a
train porter that they met earlier in
the season. Porter. Porter. Yes. What
time do we get to Albuquerque?
Who? Albuquerque? I don't know. Do we
stop there?
Well, certainly we stop there.
My what's the name of that town again?
Albuquerque. Albuquerque. What they
going to think of next?
Do me a favor and write one thing you
like about Jack Benny in the review
section of this podcast. And be sure to
give it five stars. Make yourself a
cinnamon crystal dessert and enjoy the
show.
The Jello program starring Jack Benny
with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris and
his orchestra. The orchestra opens a
program with
[Music]
when Here's a news bulletin for
everybody. A news bulletin about
everybody's favorite dessert. Jell-O.
Now, on every package of Jell-O, you
will find one or more exciting new
Jell-O recipes printed clearly right on
top. This is done to help you enjoy
Jell-O in any number of new different
ways. For Jello, certainly a versatile
dessert. Just listen to the names of
some of the recipes on the Jell-O
packages. Pineapple snow, date, and
celery salad, raspberry tarts, cinnamon
crystal dessert. They're all made with
Jell-O. And they're just a few of the
many suggestions for varying your menus.
So, whenever you buy Jell-O, look for
these recipes, and you'll be sure to
find some delicious new suggestions for
serving America's most popular dessert.
And no matter how many ways you serve
it, you'll always enjoy Jello's extra
rich fruit flavor. Flavor that comes
from real ripe fruit. But always be sure
you get the real thing. Look for the big
red letters on the box. They spell
jello.
[Music]
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring
you the man who has thrown away his
medicine, hot water bottle, and doctor's
bills, Jack Benny.
Uh, Jello again. This is Jack Benny
talking. And Don, I want to tell you
something. I may be okay physically, but
mentally I'm a
mess tonight. I'm so nervous that I
Well, I don't know what I'm doing.
Where's Phil? You didn't get here yet.
Why? Thank heaven. What's the matter,
Jack? What's wrong, Don? Don, you know
that beautiful diamond wristwatch Phil
gave me for Christmas? Yes. Well, I lost
it. Lost it? Yes. And I just can't bear
to face Phil without it. If he comes in
and asks me what time it is, I'll swoon.
Now, Jack, don't get excited. There must
be some way to find it. Uh, when did you
last wash your hands? Oh, I've had the
watch since
then. Gee, I miss it. I used to get so
much exercise winding it, you know. Oh,
it'll turn up. Don't worry about it.
Don't worry. Look at my fingernails.
Look at them. I don't see any. Of course
not. They're home on the
floor. I tell you, Don, I'm a wreck. Oh,
hello, Mary. Hello, Mary. Did you put
that ad in the paper for my watch like I
told you to? Yes, Jack. I brought you a
copy of it. What does it say? It says,
"Notice. Jack Benny's watch. Law
straight or hawk."
Hawk. When last seen was wearing a
wrist. Well, Mary, you should have put a
in a description of it. I did. Here it
is. Large mole on minute hand and face
needs washing.
It's a fine description. Uh, finder,
please. Return to return to where?
That's all the money I had.
Well, it's a lucky thing I had my name
on it. I only hope I get the watch back
before Phil gets here. Jack, don't let
it prey on your mind. Come on now, let's
change the subject. That's a good idea.
Say, Mary, have you started your watch?
I mean, have you started your picture
for Paramont yet? Oh, sure. I've been on
it a whole week now, and I'm getting the
biggest kick out of it. Well, I can
imagine. You know, Don, this is her
first picture. It's called This Way,
Please. Well, well, good luck to you,
Mary. Thanks, Don. Same to me.
How's the script, Mary? Have you Have
you got a good part? Oh, Jack, you
should see the director. He's tall,
dark, and has the most adorable accent.
I know, Mary, but uh what about your
lines? I mean, your part in the picture.
And the cameraman, has he got the
duckiest dimples?
The duckiest? Yeah, he had me behind the
camera all day yesterday. Well, how can
you make pictures behind the camera? Who
cares? He's cute.
Well, you certainly get around. I bet
you even met the janitor. I'll say.
Brown eyes, baggy pants, and the
blondest broom.
All right, Mary, that's enough. Hey,
Jack. What? Have you forgotten about
your watch yet? Hey, what are you trying
to do anyway? See, now I'm all upset
again. I'll I'll bet that's Phil now.
You can't kid me. It's Kenny Baker. Oh,
hello, Kenny. Hello. What's the matter
with you, Jack? You look so calm and
excited.
Well, you're half right, and that's a
record for you.
What happened? Well, if you must know,
Kenny, I lost that beautiful wristwatch
Phil gave me for Christmas, and I can't
find it anywhere. Did you look on your
wrist? Yes, Kenny. I And it's not there.
Well, maybe it's lost.
Yes, Kenny. That's the idea. I lost my
watch and I don't know where to look for
it. Gee, if it was a collar button, you
could look under the dresser. Oh, I
could. Huh?
Yeah. And if you were an old maid, you
could look under the bed. Well, I won't
even answer that. Jack, your watch will
turn up now. Take it easy.
Gee, if that's if that's Phil Harris,
I'll die. Come in, Mr. Benny. Yes. I
understand you lost a very valuable
diamond wristwatch. Yes, I did. Have you
seen it? Not lately.
Goodbye, John. I wish you'd set some
jello- out in the hall for that guy. We
might trap him. The playboys
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
Heat.
[Music]
Heat. Heat.
[Music]
Heat. Heat. Heat.
[Music]
Very good, boys. Very good. Especially
without your leader. Say, "Don." Don,
while the boys were playing, did anyone
come in or call about the watch? No. And
stop worrying about it, Jack. You're too
sensitive. Well, of course I'm
sensitive. Yeah, Jack wouldn't even bait
a fish hook without giving the worm
ether. Well, I certainly wouldn't.
Believe me. Do you ever notice the look
in a worm's eyes when you're about to
put him on the hook? He just seems to
say, "Take it easy, bud. Not through the
vertebrae."
People don't realize it. You know, Jack,
I had a pet worm once. Gee, I miss him.
A pet worm? What happened to him? He ran
away with an apple.
Oh, well, that's the trouble with worms.
You can't trust them. I never saw one
yet that wouldn't turn on you. Ain't it
the truth?
But they're smart, though. You know, you
know, I knew a worm once that used to
get up late just to fool the early bird.
Well, maybe he didn't know about
daylight saving time. Oh, yes he did,
Don. Yes, he did.
You'd be surprised how clever those
little fellows are. They might wiggle
around like they're doing nothing, but
believe me, they're thinking, thinking
all the
time. Yes, sir.
Answer the phone, Mary. Maybe it's news
about the watch, would you? Okay. Hello.
Yes.
Yes. Yes, he did. Mary, what is it? Shh.
Yes. Oh, yes. He'll be very happy.
That's all that's on his mind. What a
relief. He's right here. Yeah, it's for
you, Don.
Hello.
Yes. Yes, madam. You can always tell
genuine Jell-O by those big red letters
on the box. Find time to call up about
that. Yes. Yes. You will find that it
tastes twice as good as ever before with
its six delicious flavors. Strawberry,
raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and
lime. Orange, lemon, and lime. You're
welcome, Adam. Goodbye. Don, I wish
you'd keep your romantic affairs off of
this program. But it was business. Oh,
business. Sure. With you gushing all
over the phone. And it's your age, too.
Telegram for Jack Benny. Hey, maybe
that's good news about the watch. See
who it's from, Mary. Here, boy. See, I
hope it's The jack is from your father.
Oh, dad. Huh? What does he say? Uh, dear
son, is your watch insured or should I
worry too?
Good old dad. Always so practical. So,
Jack, I just happened to think uh to
think of something. Uh, let me see. Uh,
were you in any restaurants yesterday
where you might have left your watch?
You're blushing, Don.
That's the strawberry color. Go ahead.
What? What did you ask me? What did you
ask? I I asked you, Jack, if you were at
any restaurants yesterday where you
might have left your watch. Don, I
always have enough money to pay my
check. Well, I mean, where you could
have mislaid. Well, let's see. I had
lunch at the Builtmore and dinner at the
Ambassador.
And come in.
Pardon me. Does Mr. Jack Benny broadcast
from here. Yes, I'm Jack Benny. What is
it? Did you possess something yesterday
that you unpossesses today?
Yes. Yes. My diamond wristwatch. What do
you know about it? Nothing except I
found it. You did? Oh, that's Well, now
get the watch back. Well, hey, that's a
load off of my mind. Give it to me now.
Wait a minute, son. Wait a minute.
First, we's going to have a financial
skirmish.
Oh, naturally. A reward. A reward. Yes.
Now, uh uh what uh would you consider a
fair amount? Well, you just shout out
some figures and I'll hop on one.
Okay. Now, uh let me see. Uh shall we
say $10? Inflate that.
Well, uh maybe I can maybe I can do a
little better. Uh, suppose I make it 12
a.5 listen to them fractions.
Well, look. What do you say to $15? Is
15 okay? Confidentially? Uh-uh.
Now, hold on. You don't own the watch.
You just found it. I got it, Anna. Oh,
Jack, you were so anxious to get the
watch back. Why don't you give him what
he wants? All right. How much do you
want? Well, $50 would make tomorrow
Christmas.
All right, I'll give you $50. There goes
my vacation,
folks. I'll make you out a check right
now. You ain't going to give me no
check. Well, let's not argue about it.
I'll give you cash. Mhm.
Wait till I open my pocketbook.
I'll have to oil that. Oh, look. A
butterfly flew out of Jack's pocketbook.
That's a moth. All right, young man.
Here's your money. Thank you, sir.
Here's your watch. Oh, boy. Oh. Uh, by
the way, young fella, where did you find
Mr. Benny's watch? In a restaurant. Oh,
yes. Yes. The Ambassador. No, sir. This
was the Acme Hot Dog Parlor.
That's right. That's right. I stopped
there on my way to the Ambassador. I I
went in to get a cigar. You was eating
when I seen you.
I was not. Well, goodbye. Goodbye, young
man. And thanks very much for finding my
watch. You know, you must be pretty good
at finding things. I don't know about
that. I never did find Albuquerque.
Oh, it's you.
$50 for a hot dog. Oh, well, as long as
I got my watch back. Sing,
Kenny.
[Music]
Here is my heart. If you
love
me, love me as I
love you.
[Music]
Shadows
fall,
days, nights
call. Come, oh,
come and let my heart
[Music]
explain and tell you over again.
[Music]
Blue is the night
above
me.
Blue as your eyes are
blue.
Bright is the night. If you
love
me, love me as I love you.
So
come with your sweetest
kisses.
Don't let me stay and
stay.
[Music]
Blue is the night
above me.
Blue as your eyes are
blue.
Bright is the night. If you
love
me, love me as I
love you.
Blue is the
night. Blue is the
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
night. That That was Blue Was the Night
sung by Kenny Baker. And uh very good,
Kenny. Well, it was it was you. You
certainly can hit those high notes. Say,
Kenny, how can you tell when you've
reached your highest note? Oh, I just
take a deep breath and when I can see my
neck tie, I quit.
Well, that's a good system. And besides,
I ought to have my head examined for
asking you. And now, uh, ladies and
gentlemen, Jack, here comes Phil. Oh,
well, remember everybody, not a word
about the watch. I don't want him to
know what happened. Hello, Phil. Hello,
Jack. I'm terribly sorry I'm late. I
overslept and I had a flat tire at the
same time. Well,
well, but
it's but it's all right, Phil. That can
happen to anybody. Gee, aren't you mad?
No. No. As a matter of fact, I'm glad
you're late. Stay. What is this anyway?
Don't tell them, folks. Oh, Jack. What
time is it now? Mary, I told you. Oh,
what's the matter? You got a back,
didn't you? Now cut it out. What's all
the excitement, Jack? Well, I hate to
break it to you, Phil, but the cat's out
of the bag. I may as well tell you. I
lost the watch. What watch?
What watch? The watch you gave me for
Christmas, but I got it back. Oh, that's
good. Hello, Kenny.
Hello. And after the way I worried. Oh,
well, on with the show. And now, ladies
and gentlemen, for our dramatic offering
tonight, I mean our PSD resisting,
uh, we will attempt to solve the
baffling mystery which we began last
week entitled death at midnight. Once
again, I will be Captain O. Benny, as
fearless a blood hound, has ever sniffed
a clue. Phil Harris will be my assistant
sniffer, and Mary Livingston will be
Mrs. Crotzmir, who was suspected of
murdering her husband, played by Kenny
Baker. You bore me, blue coat. Watch out
or I'll drill you. I'm practicing my
part, folks. I see. Kenny, why are you
laying down on the floor? I'm practicing
my part, too. Well, don't get stepped
on. I won't. I got a red lantern on my
chest.
Episode of Death at Midnight. We'll go
on immediately after the next number.
Play, Bill. And if any of the boys make
a false move, I'll shoot. I'm practicing
too,
[Music]
folks.
[Music]
Heat.
Heat. Heat. Heat.
[Music]
[Applause]
That was Dardinella, I think, played by
Phil Harris.
and his
orchestra. And now for our play, Death
at Midnight, or Can't You hear me
calling
Caroline. As you may remember, last
week, Mr. J. Wellington Croxmmere was
found murdered in his den. His wife was
in the room at the time, but claimed she
had nothing to do with it. Captain Oenni
was called in, but up to now he was
unable to get anywhere with the crime,
or Mrs.
Crotzmere. The latter causing him
considerable annoyance. As the scene
opens, we find Detective O Benny and
Sergeant Harris at police headquarters.
Curtain,
[Music]
music, is that the phone cap? It ain't
the good humor,
man. I'll
answer. Hello. Police headquarters.
Captain Oenny speaking. Help. Help. Come
over at once. I'm going to be murdered.
Get away from that phone or I'll let you
have it. Help. Help.
All right. Goodbye.
What's wrong, Cap? Oh, some family stat.
We got to settle this crotch case first.
Anything new on it? No, but I got a
hunch there's a man in the case. You
know that saying, share lamm.
Hello, police headquarters. Hello,
Cappy. This is Mrs. Crossmeir. Yes. Why
don't you come over and investigate my
husband's murder? It's no use. I can't
find any evidence. Well, drop in anyway.
I'm lonesome. Okay. Do you like tea?
Yes. Well, have a cup and come over.
I'll be right there. Come on, Sarge. We
got to get over to Mrs. Croxmme right
away. I think she's gilly and ready to
crack. Where's my gun? In your colt.
Where's my handcuff? In your vest. Where
am I? In your pants. Fine. And we're all
set. Let's go.
[Music]
Here's the place.
Sarge. Come on. Open up.
on frame this year. Hello Fifi. Where's
Mrs. Crossmeir? La Shambre Aote laur.
Ohay. Huh? I thought so. Make a note of
that. Soulev.
Now listen fees. My name is Fifi. Well,
I'm in a
hurry. You get Mrs. Crosmir down here.
Toot sweetie. Okay. Tootses. Here she
come now.
[Music]
Good evening, Jance. What's all the
commotion? Oh, hello, Mr. Trzmir. I'm
here to find out who killed your
husband. Oh, let's not talk shop,
Skippy. Come over here on the sofa and
sit down. None of that, Mrs. Crustmeir.
None of that. I represent the long arm
of the law. Well, put it around me and
relax.
I haven't got time for that. I have.
Woohoo. But Sergeant, aren't you ashamed
of yourself? Not yet.
[Music]
Oh. Now listen, Mr. Trustmere, your
husband was murdered. And as long as you
won't talk, you were the only one at the
room at the time. There's only one way
to solve this. We'll reenact the crime.
You mean I'll have to shoot him again?
Quiet. I'll find out my own way.
Go get your gat. I got my gut. What?
I got my gat. Good. Then let's go Gaddy.
I mean, let's get going.
I'll be Mr. Crocs and you stand over
there and fire at me. But Cap, she's
liable to kill you. Don't worry. Go
ahead and shoot Mrs. Cromme. I got my
bulletproof vest on. Okay.
Ouch. Dog gone. I forgot the
button. Make note of that, stars. One,
two, button your
vest. Now, I'm going to get to the
bottom of this. Mr. Trustmere, you
murdered your husband. You might as well
admit it. I told you I bumped him off.
Don't evade the
question. Come clean now. All right,
then. I didn't do it. That's a lie.
Now, listen. You Oh, I'm nuts. I'm going
home. Lay down, Kenny. Death take the
holiday. Come on, sister. No wise
cracks. Hey, Sarge. Yeah, Cap. Let's
give her one more chance to confess. If
she don't do it this time, we'll give
her the third degree. Look out, Cap.
Look
[Music]
out. What was that? Someone threw the
butler through the window.
The butler? Yeah. And there's a note in
his hand. Note? What does it say? It
says that Jell-O is the finest tasting
gelatin dessert in the world, and every
day millions of people eat it. Hang on
to that message. It must be a cold.
Do you know anything about this, Mr.
Crossmeir? What are you torturing me
for, Cap? I told you I killed him,
didn't I? I couldn't stand it any
longer, so I shot him. I shot him dead.
I knew you'd break
down. And why did you murder your
husband? I killed him because I loved
him. You loved your husband? No, the
iceman.
Oh, so that's it, eh? Why didn't you
kill the iceman? Where do you look in
the ice box?
That's all I want to know. Slap the
bracelets on her, Sarge, and let's
go. Wait a minute. Hold everything. No
one moves. Come
in. Pardon me, but I'm looking for a guy
by the name of Jack Benny. I'm Jack
Benny, but you'll have to wait. I'm
right in the middle of a play. Well, I
don't know anything about that. Have you
got a diamond wristwatch with a platinum
band? Yes. Bill Harris gave it to me for
a present last Christmas. That's the
one. Hand it over. Now, wait a minute.
Who are you? I'm from the credit jewelry
store. And the payments on that watch
haven't been kept up.
Oh, when was the last payment made? A
week after Christmas. Now, come on. Give
me that watch. Hey, wait a minute. Wait
a minute. Oh, Phil. Phil. Good night,
folks.
Phil, Phil, Phil. Come on, give me that
watch. Well, here it is. Of all the
cheap low for flushing, you better play,
boys. by the most contemptable,
humiliating thing I've ever heard of to
give me a
[Music]
watch. There's one dessert that always
gets a grand reception. Just listen to
this. It's ice cream. The creamy,
luscious kind made with Jell-O ice cream
powder. Ice cream made this modern way
is rich and mellow. when you make it
more quickly, more easily, and much more
economically. For with Jell-O ice cream
powder, you actually use less cream and
get more ice cream. And you make it
right in the freezing trays of your
refrigerator. Or you can use an ordinary
hand freezer and get the same marvelous
results. Just combine Jell-O ice cream
powder, milk, some cream, and sugar, and
soon you'll have a quarter and a half of
smooth, velvety ice cream with that real
homemade flavor. One package of Jell-O
ice cream powder makes a quarter and a
half of ice cream. Twice as much as most
other such products you can buy. Jello
ice cream powder comes in five flavors:
rich chocolate, vanilla, strawberry,
lemon, and maple. There is unflavored
too, so that you can make ice cream in
any other flavor you want. Ask your
grosser tomorrow for several packages of
Jell-O ice cream powder.
[Music]
This is the last number of the 36
program in the new Jello series. We with
you again next Sunday night at the same
time. Of course, I'll have to guess at
the time. Say, Jack, what? Don't worry
about the watch. Oh, it isn't the watch,
Mary. It's the principle of the thing.
Besides, I gave that fell $50 for
finding it. That Phil Harris of all the
mean, deceitful, false friends. Have a
good night, folks. I've
[Music]
ever e
[Applause]
l the jello program comes to you from
Hollywood over the red network of the
national broadcasting company.
[Music]