[Music]
Hello friends welcome to this day in
Jack Benny I'm John Henderson this
episode is from February 7th
1943 if some of the episode sounds
familiar it's because they pulled
elements from an April 3rd 1938 script
we have a little surprise for you jack
wired us that o to a slight delay on the
train he'll be just a few minutes late
so in the meantime while we're waiting
for Jack I'll turn the microphone over
to his good friend and pinch hitter
Georgie
[Applause]
jessle thank you ladies and gentlemen
Jello again this is George Jessel to
stand in talking Georgie Jessel was a
pretty well-known Entertainer going back
to the days of Vaudeville he was set to
release a book later this year called so
help me the first of three volumes of
Memoirs the second would come in 19 1955
this way Miss and the third in
1975 the world I lived in this episode
featured a liman and his orchestra
filling in for the missing Phil Harris
hi Jack Abe Lyman
fell all right AB stop shaking hands
over your head like a prize fighter what
a character hey before I forget a jack
congratulations I hear you're going to
play at the canari hall
tonight no use talking Phil Harris is a
genius
that's Carnegie Hall on 57th Street in
the episode they mentioned the boxer Joe
Lewis I thought it was paid on the
second time I knocked him down but he
very gain and got right back up Jack
Benny's comic rival Fred Allen look at
me I'm Fred Allen what's the matter I
can't eat I can't sleep ever since that
night at Carnegie 20 years of practice
practice practice I was starting to play
with both hands playing with
both you you were right at the peak and
then first the curtain went up then
without warning Benny stepped out on the
stage with his violin I see and then you
was Benny's accompany stepped out he
played the be yes it was so bad rimsky
and corov split
up well it must have been terrible the
last thing I heard was someone yelling
women and children
first then everything went black why
don't you be like Benny happy gol lucky
he comes comes he smells he
leaves the comedic team of Abbott and
Castello well anyhow I sent for a guy to
take his hunting I wish he'd get here
I'm dying for a piece of venison venison
sure that's deer meat wouldn't you like
to shoot a buck dear I haven't got a
buck
honey look I'm talking about hunting
haven't you ever hunted before oh sure I
caught a meat to shot n bucks in 15
minutes now that's ridiculous how could
you shoot n bucks in 15 minutes did you
ever go out with a hungry blond sure I I
should say n ohg and one of Jack Benny's
go-to character actors Benny Ruben oh is
Ruben in this yes oh come in well sir I
want to tell you that at that time I was
making very big
money but one fine day I found me a
dialect changing on me your dialect
changing yes sir would you believe it
and finally they do a public service
announcement for Vmail that's short for
victory mail it was a wartime Postal
Service so people could send mail to
soldiers uh not as confidential as the
regular mail system it was R through
censored and even copied but it was a
little cheaper if you'd like to email me
my address is Jack Benny podcast
gmail.com or find me on Twitter at
thisday Benny and enjoy the show the
grape nuts flakes program coming to you
from New York City and starring Jack
Benny with Mary Livingston Dennis day
Rochester Yours Truly Don Wilson and our
guest conductor AB
[Applause]
Lyman habit habit who has a habit now
here's a funny thing why is it we're
always hearing so much about bad habits
yours and mine and the next door
neighbors and still nobody has a kind
word to say about good habits well right
now I'm going to put in my two cents
worth for a perfectly swell habit the
habit of starting your day off with that
grand little eye opener crisp tempty
toasty Brown grape nuts flakes yes sir
once you make a habit of grape nuts
flakes once you sample that moldy rich
flavor and smack your lips over that
crisp toasty texture you're certain to
come back from for more prove it
tomorrow just do this try a bowl full of
appetite making grape nut slakes for
breakfast see if you don't find them so
swell tasting that a Daily Dish will
become second nature to you yes grape
nuts flakes are a good habit so why
don't you make a daily habit of grape
nuts
flakes
[Applause]
and Now ladies and gentlemen we have a
little surprise for you jack wired us
that owing to a slight delay coming up
on the train from Northfork Virginia he
will be just a few minutes late so while
we're waiting for Jack I'll turn the mic
over to his very good friend the famous
star of Showtime Georgie
Jessel
thank you fellas hello again this is
Georgie jessle pinch hitting for Benny
and I want to tell you folks that I'm
very happy to be here tonight for two
reasons first it's an honor and a
pleasure to help Jack out and second I
must get something for
this and of course Don it's nice working
with you too well thank you Georgie I
think we'll get along far and by the way
Don Jack does expect to pay me for this
I mean he won't take advantage of our
friendship Willie oh no no Georgie Jack
wouldn't do a thing like that why I'm
sure he'll compensate you for your work
F Well I hope it's with money you see um
see D I've already got a hand painted
necktie and I don't like the way Jack
paints him anyway you see now wait a
minute Georgie you're not really worried
about Jack paying you for tonight are
you well I'm not exactly worried but I'd
like to be on one program where I don't
have to ride in a pot for my
lawyer but what happened to Jack and why
is he so late well Georgie last week we
played camps around Washington DC and
Virginia and Jack and Rochester missed
the train at NW missed the train yes you
see Jack told Rochester to wake him up
at 9:00 a.m. but Rochester overslept and
I imagine Jack was pretty burned up when
he
woke imagine missing my own program
listen Rochester there's no excuse for
your oversleeping this morning
especially after I gave you that alarm
clock well I was dreaming I was in the
ring with Joe Lewis and when the bell
rang I came out
fighting and what happened you know Mr
Lewis he smacked me right back to sleep
again look Rochester I'm not interested
in your dreams you're always telling me
yours boss remember the night you DT you
was a mother robin never
never mind and you woke up sitting in
your
toue on a billiard ball
yet anyway Rochester this is the last
time I've going to take you on a trip
East with me the only time I see is when
you need money we've been away from home
two months you spent more dough than I
have there ain't no
r you spent plenty and most of the time
you lose it in a crab game a crab game
yes Up In Harlem we call it Ivory stock
market I don't care what you call it
we'll talk about this later say boss
who's taking your place on the program
tonight a fellow named Georgie Jessel
he's a great pal of mine Mr Jessel I
never seen him what does he look like
well I'd say that Jessel was medium
height nice personality and looked
something like an ant e
although I doubt if he does say is there
um is there a radio in this observation
car there there's one right over by that
lady oh yes uh pardon me Madam do you
mind if I tune in on the radio I want to
hear the grap nuts flakes program is
that the show with Jack Benny on it
yes
good good heaven she jumped out the
window oh well everybody can't like me
now Rochester tune in NBC it's around 65
on the dial yes
sir and that ladies and gentlemen is the
reason toasty Brown sweeters are that
grap nuts Flakes and the Big 12 oz
economy size package is America's
fastest growing flake cereal that's
Rochester that's Don Wilson all right
once you sample the baly rich flavor
you'll certainly come back for more that
is very good Don I'm so excited I'm
going to eat breakfast tomorrow for the
first time in 30 years hangover or no
hangover well done how am I doing so far
do you think I'm handling the program
all right well to tell you the truth
George and and please don't repeat this
to Jack oh you can trust me Don I think
you've given this program new life
frankly Jack belongs to the yuck yuck
School of humor yuck yuck say Georgie
you've known Jack a long while haven't
you oh yes as a matter of fact Jack and
I did an act together in Ville we were
known as mytle the dancing
horse oh did uh did you and Jack work in
a horse costume oh yes and Jack did a
great job even though he had the worst
end of
it you know what I mean Don he he
couldn't look out at the audience and
wink like I did huh by the way Don where
is Mary here I am hello Georgie hello
there's there's Miss Livingston doesn't
she sound natural yeah braise yourself
boys here it comes she better be careful
what she says well Mary I guess you're
anxious for Jack to get back it'll seem
rather strange working with me won't it
no I like to work with you Georgie you
want to know something now don't repeat
this to Jack oh you can trust me well
believe me it gets pretty tiresome week
after week looking at that blank face of
his looks like a pot of Library
pce who ever saw a library Pace with big
blue
eyes well Mary after all I'm not so much
to look at myself but at least you're
different you smile and laugh once in a
while Jack never laughs well my teeth
don't slip
up that's a good one shut
up are you you shut up Roger my teeth
don't slip out no sir you hold them in
better than
anybody quiet now I want to hear this
say Mary I'd like to ask you something
and believe me you're the first one I've
mentioned this too uh what do you think
Jack's going to give me for taking his
place on the program tonight well first
he'll come in and ask you how much you
want yes then he'll offer you half of
that and if I won't take it he'll pull a
knife on you can you imagine that well
Mary you can't be serious my goodness he
isn't that tight he isn't he listen
Georgie Jack has been traveling around
the East for 8 weeks and he still got
California air in his
pocketbook oh he must have opened it up
to let the mor see Radio
City Rochester he ain't no good at
all I wish this train would get in and
George do you want me to tell you
something else what is it Well Jack took
me to the store Club the other night and
when the waiter brought the
check matter what are you laughing Well
Jack pulled his violin out of his vest
and said go away I work
here that's a big PB well Mary you've
given me a very Vivid picture of what
I'll have to go through when Jack comes
in anyway let's have a band number from
Ab Lyman and play something loud AB my
mother's listening in and she hasn't got
a radio she just opens the window hit it
Abe hit
it look Rochester we're getting into the
Pen Station that's right New York New
York all out last one off the train is a
pot of Library Pace catch
on grab those bag Rochester I want to
rush over to the studio okay I'll go
right to my hotel and pack the Trump
remember we're leaving town tomorrow oh
porter porter
h
[Music]
oh
that was Brazil played by AB Lyman and
his band and I must say Abe after
hearing the boys and I'm surprised the
way Jack ran down your Orchestra a
couple of weeks ago he shouldn't do that
of course he shouldn't my music is all
right well that I wouldn't say but Jack
should never mention
it by the way Abe I don't know whether
you know this or not but I have been
writing an
autobiography autobiography that means
the story of my life thanks you're
welcome in as much as we've been friends
for years I've got something in it about
you now is that okay yeah but don't put
nothing in about that Dame in Cincinnati
oh don't worry I won't I'll simply
mention that you're a bant a recur an
entrepreneur is all all right with you
yeah just leave out that D in Cincinnati
OH I will I
will you see this book I'm writing is is
called so help me and it ought to be out
any a minute Georgie Here Comes Dennis
Day do you know him no not personally no
well you like him George he's a great
kid although he's a little naive oh you
just leave Dennis to me I'll handle him
all right I'll bet you a dollar drive
you nuts all right it's a bet here he is
Georgie well well hello hello Dennis
hello Mr Benny did you have a nice trip
nice trip Benny what is
this hey hey Don did Mr Benny missed the
train in norol Virginia oh wait a minute
Dennis it's Jessel Jessel where's
that well I've lost 35 cents
already now listen Dennis I'm just
taking Jack's Place until he gets here
Jack
who here's your dollar
Mary thanks hey what's going on why
nothing Dennis I just bet Mary a dollar
that you couldn't drive me nuts she wins
more money that
way all I can say is this entire event
looks good for a total loss to me I'll
tell you hello fellas hello here I
am well well well it's sure going to be
back and am I glad to see you jack
believe me me too I kind of miss you old
pal so did I Jack boy am I tickled to
see you oh yes yes of course certainly
I'm tied except for my teeth should slip
out and I got a face like a pot of
Library paste doesn't have to be in a
pot well there was a radio on the train
I heard every word you fellas said I was
fine loyalty talking behind my back I
didn't say anything about you Mr Benny I
know you didn't denn it I just got
here I know that too well hello Georgie
how did you like take taking my place
tonight I will know in a little
while well I appreciate your coming over
and helping me out it was a great
display of friendship here it comes
Georgie I'm ready now look Jack we're
very good friends you know but this is
my business the same as yours I
understand that now but look Georgie
look nothing you wired me to come here I
didn't expect to get paid take it easy
Georgie I'll give you a check for
whatever you think your time is worth
now what do you want well now Jack let
me put it this way
if I don't sleep well tonight it should
be from
happiness now don't beat around the bush
Georgie how much do you want I'll take
$500 but if you put down that knife
we'll start at
1,000 I'll give you 500 let's not argue
about it now let's see where's my
checkbook gosh I don't think I here's a
blank check Mr Benny
thanks
now let's see if I'd only brought my
Fountain here's the fountain pen Mr
Benny go
away well I got the check and fountain
pen might as well start writing I may be
wrong but I think your hair just went a
shade
grayer quiet February 17th 1900 and now
the amount now wait a minute this is
1943 Jack not 45 oh oh pardon me just a
second pay to the order of say how do
you want this made out George Jessel or
Georgie Jess just put down man
500 all right here's your check well now
thank you very much well I guess I'll be
running along now and I'll see you
tomorrow night at the banquet ja yeah
what banquet is that Mr Benny well next
Sunday is my birthday and since we'll be
in Toronto some of my friends here in
New York are throwing a little party for
me tomorrow night who's going to be
there Georgie all your pals on Broadway
everybody from Benny Rubin to Fred Al
Fred Allen now wait a minute this is my
birthday party and I don't want Allen
there but Jack we need a crowd we need
everybody we can get to blow out the
candles I'll cut that out I'm not nearly
as old as you are Georgie and You Know
It Go on I read Newsweek magazine
yesterday that you were 47 years old 47
that's a misprint you mean it should be
74
no I mean it should be 33 like I feel
all right Alan all right Alan can come
to the
party I knew that what happened I knew
it why don't I put commas
there all right comma Allan conf
part but look at but I don't want him to
make any speeches about me well don't
you worry Jack cuz I'm the only speaker
at the table Comm and I got my
speech I have my speech all prepared you
have what are you going to say well
something like this gentlemen we are
gathered here tonight to pay tribute to
a man who some odd years ago was born in
a log cabern near what is now the town
of War Kean Illinois log cabern there
was great rejoicing in this Frontier
settlement
Frontier and Friendly Indians came from
far and wide
to bring gifts of beads and moccasins to
the first White child born in this
Wilderness now wait a minute Georgie
when I was born walk Keegan was a good
good siiz town I'm only 33 all right
I'll say you're 33 good and to make that
believable I'll wear
diapers I don't care what you wear all
right thank you very much Jack and I'll
see you tomorrow so long Geor
oh darn
it D I I I I forgot something oh Georgie
Georgie wait a minute I want to ask you
something what what what is it Georgie I
hear you're writing a book with a lot of
anecdotes about yourself and and and
people in Show Business is that right
yes it is well uh does my name come up
in it oh sure Jack several times well
look uh Georgie yeah uh do me a favor
will you yeah don't mention that Dame in
Cincinnati yeah I mean you know well so
long Geor so long come
come well go ahead Dennis let's have
your song uh what do you want to see
Georgie B I want to make his check a
little higher you know sing kid sing
kid
Moonlight
mov when Twilight is
ending you're in my Moonlight
mood and our hearts are
blending there comes the same old
glow that we used to
know
Longo you are
here in a ribon of
moon there you
are as lovely as
ever you Bow by every
Star to love me
forever allthough you're far
away we meet in my
[Music]
solude you are
mine when I'm in my mood
light mood
mying there you
are as lovely as
[Music]
ever
You
by
St to love me
[Music]
forever all Bo your father
far we meet in my
[Music]
Sol you are
mine when I'm in my
Mo
life
wow my
goodness that was Moonlight mood sung by
Dennis day and very very good Dennis
thank you you know Mr Mr vny I think it
was awfully nice of Mr Jessel would come
over here and help you out tonight what
do you mean nice you got $500 for it
well for heaven sake you don't expect
Georgie to come over here and work for
nothing do you well why not he's a
friend of mine well would you work on
his show for nothing listen Don I'm
talking to miss Livingston well would
you that's Don's question think of your
all I've got one shut
up now look look fell Georgie was here
he did a good job he got paid so let
forget about it and now I have an
announcement to make ladies and
gentlemen here is important information
for all of you who have friends
relatives or sweethearts in our Armed
Forces abroad if you want your letters
to get overseas quickly and safely use
Vmail which is dispatched by the most
expeditious means expeditious what's the
idea of pulling those big words listen
Abe expeditious isn't a big word
anything over three letters is showing
off
Abe I know you have a set of blocks but
some of them must be missing
there one leader I'd like to get that's
been through third
grade let me finish this will you AB huh
would you go over and lay down someplace
or lie down excuse
me
among the among the advantages among the
advantages of Vil is the fact that it's
the fastest of all wartime communication
but remember folks Vmail is not for
domestic use only use it when you write
right to the boys overseas and our
listeners in Canada should go to their
local post office for information thank
you very much and fellas uh my gang now
speaking of Canada you know we're all
leaving for Montreal Ottawa and Toronto
R next Tuesday night how you going to
send us by Vmail no we're going by train
and here's something else come
in yes pardon me I worked for Mr gessel
and he sent me back here for his Cane oh
my name is Joe besser lesser no
B oh yes yes besser I I I never get that
right well Mr besser what does the cane
look like something like gessle only
taller oh well he must have left his
Cane in my dressing room now look Mr
besser my dressing room you go out this
door here turn to your right no turn to
your left then you walk down three steps
till you get to the corridor then you
turn to your right again no then take
your next SL shut up not so
fast oh oh pardon me well just ask an
usher and he'll tell you where it is
goodbye goodbye oh say Mr Benny I'm
going to be at your banquet tomorrow
night oh my birthday party well you know
Mr Professor next Sunday I'll be 33
years old you old crazy
you what does he mean crazy I feel like
a kid now getting back to our Canadian
trip fellas when we get to Toronto next
week I want you all to be I'll take it
hello hello Mr B this is Rochester good
uh Rochester did you pack my trunk yes
sir and it's on it way to
Toledo Toledo we're going to Toronto
Toronto's in Ohio Toledo's in Ohio we're
going to Ontario I thought you said we
were going to Canada look Rochester
Toledo is in Ohio and Ontario is in
Canada and Toronto is in Ontario
what are you laughing at boss we sound
like abberton
Castello now Rochester concentrate
here's what you do call up the express
company here in New York tell them to
call the Express company in Toledo and
have them send my trunks to Toronto not
so
[Music]
fast Rochester but this is the worst
mess that I've ever been in and I
want
[Music]
w
[Music]
la
you know nowadays everyone relies on
breakfast for a flying start on the day
the man on the swing shift the lad on
the farm the housewife the youngster in
school but we're all taking on extra
duties and we're all using up extra
energy so we all need a full share of
nourishment the kind you get in tempting
grape nuts flakes because grape nuts
flakes are a whole grain cereal and
Thrifty plentiful whole grain cereals
provide the nutritional elements we all
need including protective minerals and
vitamins yes sir in every delicious
multi-ch bowl full of toasty Brown grape
nuts Flakes with milk you get proteins
iron calcium phosphorus and two of the
Health Building B vitamins nasin and
vitamin B1 you can very readily see why
a daily breakfast with with grape nuts
flakes helped you to make up for other
food shortages so for a swell start on
your working day start your day with a
big Lous bowl full of delicious
nutritious grape nuts
[Music]
flakes
[Music]
that was the last number of the 19th
program in the new grape nuts flak
series and we'll be with you again next
Sunday night broadcasting from Toronto
and we'll be seeing you Canadian
servicemen and Montreal w Wednesday in
Ottawa Thursday and Saturday night at
Camp bordon Ontario good night
folks the Jack V program is written by
Bill Maro and Ed
[Applause]
[Music]
booy