[Music]
Hello friends and welcome to this day in
Jack Benny I'm John Henderson this
episode is from January 10th
1943 The Jack Benny show is on the road
this season now they're broadcasting
from New York with guest conductor Benny
Goodman
some other popular Tunes at the time
included beat me daddy ate to the
bar
guar and in this episode they play the
blue
danu Lillian Russell was a stage actress
and singer in the late 18 early
[Music]
1900s here in 1943 three America was at
War and the government imposed what they
called a victory tax in addition to the
regular income tax the victory tax will
take
5% of the income of each individual
above
$624 oh what the big hurry what's the
big hurry your country is at War your
country needs taxes for guns taxes for
ships taxes to beat the ax
I'm done unfortunately there's a glitch
a skip in this recording where the
introduction of Rochester is missing
Jack Benny calls to try to get a hold of
Rochester and we hear his distinctive
voice but he pretends to be somebody
else he calls himself random Harvest
Brown that name is taken from a movie of
the time the translation of random
Harvest into an outstanding Motion
Picture resulted in one of the year's
big entertainment events Gary Cooper
could be seen in the movie For Whom the
belt tolls in our country General they
say never blow a bridge till you come to
it and comedian Bob Hope could be seen
in the movie star spangled Rhythm honey
D fellas this is Bob Paramount hope
telling you Sailors to use a certain
toothpaste and you'll always have the
right kind of film in your teeth now I
want to introduce three young gals from
the Paramount lot you ought to know them
pretty well because two of them have
been in pictures with me the other one
has a smart
agent Jack Benny was set to be the guest
on Fred Allen radio show this same day
it's about time I'll tune
up and uh oh before you start Mr Benny
what is your number ladies and gentlemen
my first violin selection would be hold
it uhuh hold it Mr Benny I'm sorry I'm
so lazy ah but better late than what we
almost got into miss Mr pastro is ready
for his solo Mr Alan I'm going to play
the thir moment of together
by that's the same number I was
also on the radio you could hear game
shows like take it or leave it yes take
it or leave it presented by the makers
of ever sharp Skyline pen the most
exciting game you ever played let's take
it easy my friend now you have $16 what
do we do would you like to take it or
try it with 32 one more time one more
time what do you think he ought to do
folks did you notice the audience
yelling out you'll be sorry had become a
kind of Catchphrase from take it or
leave it you'll be
even Jack Benny appeared on take it or
leave it back in November pretending to
be a regular contestant all right I'll
take a chance for $64 I'll take a chance
for 64 remember I wanted to quit of
course it's 32 but well you do want to
try for 64 I'll try all right here's the
$64
question over a period of 75 years at
least 100 great musical composers have
attempted to write an ending for
Schubert's Immortal composition his
unfinished Symphony can you name it at
least 37 of these
composers now wait a minute Baker I want
my
$32 I can't even name the Blue Devils
now look I don't have anything to do
with now that host Phil Baker had been
off the air the last few weeks to get
his appendix out but he was all set to
return to the air today if you'd like to
contact me you can email Jack Benny
podcast gmail.com or on Twitter it's at
thisday Benny and enjoy the show the
grap nuts flakes program coming to you
from New York City where we are playing
to an audience of men on leave from the
armed services and starring Jack Benny
with Mary Livingston Dennis day
Rochester Yours Truly Don Wilson and our
guest conductor Benny
[Music]
Goodman
say friends have you ever noticed how
some folks just sleep through their
breakfast well they drift to the table
they nibble at nothing then they float
to the station and then all of a sudden
about halfway to lunch they're wide
awake with that hungry all gone
sensation well here's what to do about
that situation you just bring on a
breakfast that stars mty Rich toasty
Brown grape nuts Flakes a bowl full of
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time eye opener for grape nuts flakes
bring you a wide awake goodness a flavor
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it's an outstanding Rich two grain blend
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combined in a very special way so don't
rely on the alarm clock and don't resort
to icy showers eat up and wake up with
delicious moldy Rich grap nuts
flakes
[Music]
that was Hallelujah played by the
orchestra Now ladies and gentlemen it
gives me great pleasure and honor to
introduce the Bob Hope of the grape nut
flakes program Jack
Benny thank you thank you thank you
hello again this is Jack vny talking and
Don what do you mean the Bob Hope of the
grape nut flakes program I don't get it
well after all Jack there are a lot of
similarities between you and Bob Hope
aren't there Mary of course there are oh
yeah one well for one thing he's on the
radio and you're on the radio true true
and he's a comedian and you're a
comedian yes and hope started in
vaudville and you started in vaille
that's right and hope makes pictures at
paramont and paramont kicked you
out true now wait a minute I wasn't
thrown out of paramont then why did you
leave I asked them to put a shower in my
dressing room they punched holes in the
roof it didn't rain for 40 days so I
quit
anyway I made some swell pictures of
paramont especially my last one For Whom
the Bell told oh now hold on Jack Gary
Cooper plays the lead in four Whom the
Bell told well he might play the lead
but that Bell doesn't ring by itself
brother I'm the guy listen Don I'm I'm
the guy that pulls that rope they had a
rope at paramont they'd hung you a long
time ago oh what are you you talking
about say Mr Benny I took your violin
over to get a new hello hello Dennis
hello say Mr Benny I took your violin
over to get a new bridge put on it like
you told me to what what did you say
Dennis I said I took your violin over to
get a new bridge put on it like you told
me to oh a new bridge on my violin eh
how does it look well I think the man
overdid it a little there's water
running under
it water under the bridge let's see that
violin well I'll be darn there is at
that putting in the goldfish was my
idea well that's a fine picture put me
in now I'll have to use another fiddle
for my performance tonight you see
fellas my agent booked me as the guest
violinist on a program later this
evening well that's very interesting uh
what program is it if they want Jack to
play the fiddle it must be a shortwave
broadcast to
Tokyo it is not it's a coast to coast
hookup and as long as I've got that
water under the bridge I'm going to play
the blue
danu and for a finish you can eat the
Goldfish just tune in to Fred Allen
sister I'll do all right I think Mr
Benny is one of the finest violinists I
ever heard thanks Dennis I've got a job
and I'm going to keep it by
guy all right kid you gave me a
beautiful compliment don't spoil it now
it's about time for for your song so
let's have it okay say Mr Benny I'll
probably get slugged for this but when I
got my check this week there was
something wrong with it what do you mean
there was something wrong with it well
I'll probably get slugged for this stop
saying that what was wrong with your
check well you took 5% off what was that
for oh well I'm glad you asked me that
kid I've been meaning to explain it to
you Mary and Don you might as well
listen to this too uh since January 1st
5% of all salaries and wages have been
withheld at the source this has been
officially designated as the victory tag
oh I get it you deduct the money from
our salaries and send it to Washington
exactly is that clear to you Dennis well
I'll probably get slugged for this will
you stop saying that well how do I know
you turn this money into the government
I have to turn it in that's the idea of
it and here's another important point
for everybody patriotic Americans will
not let this new and necessary tax
interfere in any way with the
commitments they have made for the
regular purchase of war bonds in Canada
folks should buy victory bonds and War
saving stamps and now Dennis let's have
your
song Just and there are
Mor you're
lovely not
for
moonlight becomes
you it
go with your
hair you certainly know the
ring
where moon light becomes you I'm
thrilled as
fight and I could get so
romantic
[Music]
tonight you're all dressed up to go
dreaming now don't tell me I'm
wrong and what a night to go
dreaming mind if I tag
along
if I say I love
you I want you to
know it's not just because there's
Moonlight
although
Moonlight
becomes you
Soul yes you're all dressed up to the
dreaming now don't tell me I'm wrong and
what am I to go
dreaming if I T
[Music]
along if I
say I love
you I want you to
all it's not just because there's
moonlight
[Music]
Al
Moonlight
be
you
sir that was Moonlight becomes you sung
by Dennis day our own Irish Bluebird and
very good Dennis Irish Bluebird green is
the color for the Irish Mr Benny I know
I know you know
now I always did know but if you want to
be so technical kid you're an Irishman
that's been out in the cold you're a
little blue that makes you a Bluer oh
speaking of birds Jack I have a very
clever message which involves Our
Feathered Friends would you like to hear
it why I mean why surely
donely go ahead now see how many
different birds you can pick out
different birds okay ladies and
gentlemen you can always Sparrow enough
money for grap nuts flakes as they are
very feasant and easy to
swallow well there's sparrow feasant and
swallow go ahead whether you're a boy or
a girl you will eagerly awake grap nuts
flakes each morning well there's Gull
and Eagle peacock they contain
peacock peock they contain iron nin and
vitamin B1 well that's very good Don yes
considering I have a cold
to uh bless you and down that was swell
I thrush everybody enjoyed
it hey I uh I got a burden there too
here comes another one right from the
Bronx Mary and now fellas if you'll
excuse me I think I'll let you handle
the rest of the program I want to drop
over and see Phil Baker at the hospital
Phil Baker oh yes I missed him on his
program I've seen the hospital for well
Phil went to the doctor to have his
appendix examined that's right so he
asked the doctor to take it or leave it
he took
us well I don't know if that's exactly
the way it happened but he had his
appendix out and he's a pretty sick guy
well if he's so sick this is no time to
try and collect that $64 you didn't win
when you were on his program listen Mary
technically I did win he didn't pay me
that's all well I'll probably get
slugged for this there he goes
again well I'll probably get slug for
this but I don't understand what you're
talking about look kid a few weeks ago
Phil Baker beat me out of 6 $4 that I
have to
see well he did now wait a minute Jack I
heard the program you were on and when
Phil asked you the $64 question you gave
the wrong answer I gave the right answer
Phil asked me if I could name 37
composers who try to finish Hubert's
unfinished Symphony and I said no I
couldn't that's the right
answer
I'm going to the hospital now and
straighten this thing out with Baker
well you'll never catch him when he's
weaker that's a that's a point in my
favor can I come along with you Mr Benny
what do you want to go to the hospital
for well maybe Mr Baker has a beautiful
nurse and I'll fall madly in love with
her and ask her to marry me and she'll
turn me down and I'll commit
suicide what an
imagination well all right you can come
with me me kid now where's where's Benny
Goodman right here ja say Jack have you
seen my
clarinet
right it's uh it's right there behind
your ear he wears it like a pencil folks
Benny have you got a nice hot tune
prepared for us yeah I'm going to play
one of the numbers I'm doing at the
paramont theater this week oh you had to
give yourself a little plug huh a little
advertising huh well at least my hatband
doesn't say movie star on it like yours
does all
right the name is brown brand very nice
of you to call because I haven't seen
Rochester in nearly a week do you happen
to know where he is who Rochester oh
that friend of mine yes where's he been
that boy loves you Mr Benny he really
does uh-huh well he went down to your
hotel yesterday morning ready to work
that boy boy loves you I know I know you
said that random well he's got right in
front of your hotel ready to work when
he suddenly realized he forgotten his
typewriter his typewriter what does he
need a typewriter for doesn't he write
your
programs
no now listen Mr Brown or random or
harvest or whatever your name is tell
that boy that loves me to be at my hotel
tomorrow morning at 9:00 okay goodbye Mr
B goodbye imagine making up such a
ridiculous name as random Harvest Brown
Fine chance he had to fool me come on
Dennis let's go wait a minute I'm going
with you all right come on play
Benny
h
[Music]
oh
[Music]
the
[Music]
a
we ought to be there pretty soon now
what hospital is Mr Benny in Mr Baker
I'm Mr Benny Bill Baker's in the
northwest side Hospital on 83rd Street
oh you know Mary if I collect that 64
bucks you and I will go out stepping I
love those nightclubs you haven't been
to a nightclub since the time you dram
champagne out of Lilian Russell
slipper you had a small shoe but I Got
Loaded Hey Hey Driver step on it will
you your wish is my command well well
polite fellow isn't he can't understand
why Baker's still in bed well the
operation was only two weeks ago look
when I had my tonsils taken out I went
home the next day you never left the
house Rochester took them out with a can
opener he use regular instruments G wiiz
Mr Benny did Rochester really take your
tles out there was nothing to it snip
snip driver a little faster please we
want to get there it is yours to request
mine to
obey well thanks my isn't he formal say
Jack can't we stop at this little
restaurant up here and get something to
eat I'm starving me too we can eat at
the hospital Baker's room will be full
of fruit and candy and
nut Hey Driver that's the hospital right
ahead isn't it it is mine to drive yours
to point out oh
stop this is it all right well here we
are how much owe you driver that'll be
65 or $1 including
tip wait a minute what makes you think
I'm going to give you a 35 cent tip it
is mine to dream yours to
disillusion well just for that here's a
dollar goodbye driver goodbye if you
like me tell your friend if not
not here's the main entrance let's go
in he's a beautiful hospit
wow what a big Lobby wow what a big
Lobby that Echo again he's got a cold
tonight I'm Jack Benny I'm Jack Benny
you try a Dennis I'm Dennis Dave I'm
Dennis Dave now you Mary I'm Mary
Livingston with a call like this I got
to do a
Dame fine Echo
W here's the uh here's the information
desk I'll find out where to go say Miss
yes sir can you tell me what room Mr
Phil Baker's in I'm Jack Benny so I see
by your
hatbands oh yes now what's uh what's
Phil Baker's room number he's on the
fourth floor blue eyes thank you come on
kids here's the elevator going up step
right in please going
up say Jack that guy sounds just like
Rochester yeah he does it that what's
your name Buddy Brown random Harvest
Brown well I'll be
darn second floor sprained ankles
falling arches water on the knees
CL
and that's not us going
up I can't get over that voice say
random do you know a fell named
Rochester that boy really loves you Mr
Ben he knows
me third floor dog bites fro bites snake
bites mosquito bites and bite me Daddy a
to the
bar I can't get over that
Bo positively amazing I'd swear it was
Rochester four floor scratches from cats
scratches from berry bushes scratches
from n to
mob and a pandage that's us thanks
operator well I don't operate I just run
the
elevator
I can't I can't get over now let's see
where's uh where's Phil's room it must
be down this Corridor oh yes Dr Jones
report to surgery Dr Jones report to
surgery we finally located your glasses
yep that's where they
were
H he must be very careless hey Mr Benny
look at that guy running down the hall
yeah gee looks happy you me hooray hello
mister Have a Cigar a cigar does your
wife have a baby no I'm Dr Jones they
just found my
glasses I know I heard about it I guess
this is uh Phil Baker's room here with
the star on the door boy is he hammy h
now Jack For Heaven's Sake don't mention
the $64 right away don't worry I know
how to handle it well hello Phil how are
you hello fail hi you Mr Baker hello
kids glad you dropped
in Dennis stop applauding well Phil uh
Bill
boy conf
well Phil uh Phil old boy you're you're
looking great how do you feel well I'll
probably get slugged for this but I feel
fine why should I slug you I just came
up to see how you were getting along
wish you luck and uh talk over a little
matter of uh $64 well that's sweet of
you jack but I don't need any
money well you see fell I was talking
talking to my lawyer last week and he
thinks I have a he thinks I have a
pretty good cave did you make off like
you fell in the subway again I thought
you gave up that
racket I'm not suing the subway now look
Phil you owe me $64 and I want it right
now now come on hand it over Jack will
you please take your knee out of my
incision oh Pardon Me Now Phil you give
me that $64 or you'll be
sorry get it on your program you'll be
sorry oh Jack be more subtle subtle SCH
muttle I want my
money now Phil pardon me Mr Baker did I
give you three little white pills about
an hour ago yes you
did who's that that's Miss Stewart my
nurse she's awfully absentminded yeah
she she seems to be yesterday she poured
alcohol on my pancakes and rubbed my
back with maple
syrup alcohol on pancakes so cocky I
fell out of bed four
times a r awful she really is absent
mind this morning she gave me a shot in
the arm with a fountain
pen a fountain pen ever
shot that he remembered
now listen Phil speaking of $64 who's
speaking of $64 look Phil I know you're
a sick man and all that but technically
I won $64 when I was on your program now
the least you can do is give me another
chance and another question okay answer
this one for $64 shoot who's the
cheapest guy in the world I am now give
me that
$64 well you're wrong because I am I'm
not going to pay
it now listen here Phil Baker that must
be my doctor come in well well how's my
patient today what are you doing out of
bake you bad
boy I'm not the patient that's Baker
lying right there oh well you look
sicker than he does you got to admit
that I admit nothing say Duc can I get
up today I've got my own program to do
well I have to check on that open your
mouth and say a my my they're healing up
fine wait a minute duck you took out my
appendix not my tonsils who was under
that ether you or me wait you mean to
say you took out his tonsils and his
appendix that's a special I was running
last
week oh tonsils appendix and a tour
through Radio City
1250 that's good value now
uh and Mr Baker what you need is a
little medicine take this pill and
you'll feel fine okay well where's the
pill it's right here but I can't seem to
get it off my finger that's a wart the
pills in the other hand oh yes well here
you
are then now good night Mr Baker sleep
tight sleep tight wait a minute doc what
kind of a pill was that you gave him a
strong sedative he'll be in Dreamland
inside of a minute Dreamland I got to
work fast now Phil concentrate oh Jack
let him alone Phil needs rest going to
sleep when I I need that $64 now Phil
Phil open your eyes Phil listen to me
what do you want nurse I'm not your
nurse I'm betting now listen Baker my
lawyer said that when I was on your
program I want $64 now I want that money
right now kiss me good night Miss
Stewart I'm not Miss Stewart and I won
kiss you good night till I get that
money now give me give me that check I
filled out Dennis here you are you
didn't take a pill Wake Up Now Phil Phil
wake up Baker listen to
me wake
up now Phil listen you you asked me if
I and according to my lawyer that was
the right
answer everybody knows how Great Oaks
from Little acorns grow and it's quite
an amazing achievements but I know of a
record of growth that's every bit is
amazing it's the record of delicious
grape nuts flakes during the past 3
years the increase in your purchases of
grape nuts flake and there's a reason in
fact two big reasons first it's that
moldy rich flavor the popular flavor of
grape nuts in delicious toasty flake
form second it's that grand nourishment
for grape nuts flakes or a whole grain
cereal bringing you important food
factors found in the natural whole wheat
plus extra vitamin B1 food value is
recommended as a part of your daily diet
by our national nutrition program so
join the swing to better breakfast serve
delicious nutritious grape nut flakes
America's fastest growing breakfast
cereal that was the last member of the
15th program of the new grap nut flake
series and we'll be with you again next
Sunday night at the same time and I'm
very happy to announce that bill Baker
is feeling much better and will return
to his own program this evening
here's one for your memory books friends
note this name hot grap nuts sweet meal
hot cereal member of the popular grape
nuts family extra delicious extra
nutritious it Cooks extra fast you'll
smack your lips over its roasted wheat
goodness you'll relish that glorious
full boded texture chalk full of
important whole grain food values
stepped up with added vitamin B you got
that name hot grap nut sweet meal this
program came to you from New York this
is the National Broadcasting
Company