[Music]
Hello friends welcome to this day in
Jack Benny I'm John Henderson this
episode is from November 20th
1949 pick up a newspaper and you could
read about the latest coal miner strike
the period of strike is a strain for us
as it is for management and for the
consumer General Omar Bradley made a
name for himself during the war now he
was the first chairman of the Joint
Chiefs of Staff in this episode they
mentioned some cars like the new Buick
which had a series of holes circular
holes on the side of the car up by the
hood they called them vent ports
meanwhile people were talking about the
latest Crosley giveaway over $2 million
in cash and valuable prizes from the
Crosley Corporation makers of appliances
and electronics 27,000 $500 in cash 25
complete Crosley electric kitchens and
100 new shelvador refrigerators the
print ads told you how you could enter
in 50 words or less just tell a good
reason why you should be given a new
1950 shelvador
refrigerator in music at the time you
could hear the popular song Mule Train
mu
train yeah
yeah in the movie theater you could see
Larry Parks reprising his role as the
Entertainer and singer Al jolon in jolon
sings again look I was singing in VV 15
let's say when I was really getting
underway in my 20s you expect me to play
a 20-year-old on the screen today
suppose somebody else played it but me
sing of course of course there was also
live entertainment like the Burbank
theater known for burlesque and the most
famous burlesk dancer was Gypsy Rose Lee
I think that I'm the made to last type
or if if you could make it to Broadway
you could see the latest musical South
Pacific I'm going to wave that man right
out of my arms I'm going to wave that
man right out of my arms I'm going to
wave that man right out of my arms and
send him on his
way Phil Harris had his own radio show
along with his wife Alice Fay I couldn't
possibly do my radio show without
you unless you find way to talk to the
man who took you when you were nothing
but a movie star and in eight short
years made you into a successful
household
drudge and even Don Wilson could be
heard on another program he was the
announcer for the Frank Sinatra show
it's light up Time starring Frank
Sinatra our special guest P for Dorthy
kson and Jeff Alexander's
orcher I know that
someday you want me to want you this
episode features Larry Stevens who was a
regular for a short period of time when
Dennis day was in the Navy Larry Stevens
came in to sub for him my name is Jack
Benny Jack Benny you mean Jack Benny the
radio comedian yes sir now look Larry
I'm trying to find a
singer I'm trying to find a singer for
my program and from hearing you sing
just now I think you might fit in gee
whiz Larry Stevens was not a big star
but he could be seen on television
one of the big stars on television
though was Ed wi Now ladies and
gentlemen I have really something of
great interest to the public statistics
show that every day thousands of
television sets are in need of repair
this is very very important for you to
notice very often you get a picture but
you do not get the sound you certainly
had that experience now tonight for
those who can't get S and just get the
picture I'm going to bring something new
I'm going to bring silent television
one of the
greatest of the great comedians of the
silent moving picture day Mr Buster
Keaton and I'm quite sure the American
public would like to hear you say
something would you would you say
something go ahead
speak
hello Edwin's son Keenan win was
building a name for himself in movies
like Neptune's daughter I saw her at
every swimming meet the city ever had
just like this one at this time you
could even listen to movies with the Lux
Radio Theater they took movies and they
adapted them in radio form like this old
episode starring Margaret O'Brien it's
well being here Mr de you may notice
some minor sound issues in this episode
The Sound drops out a few times but it
doesn't last too long so hang in there
if you'd like to find more episodes
check them out at thisday ben.com and
enjoy the show the Jack Benny Program
presented by Lucky
Strike friends every time you light up a
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[Music]
Strike the Lucky Strike program starring
Jack Benny with Bary Livingston Phil
Harris Rochester Dennis day and yours
truly Don
[Applause]
[Music]
Wilson
ladies and gentlemen usually at this
time we take you out to Jack Benny's
house but right now jack isn't home he's
on his way to the studio and Rochester
is
driving gee it's a beautiful day isn't
it Rochester it's sure is boss sun is so
nice and warm maybe you ought to stop
the car and put the top down oh boss
let's not put the top down why not it's
so much trouble taking down the center
pole and pulling out the
pigs
oh yes I forgot this is the new one I
bought at the Army Surplus Store yeah
the flap still says field headquarters
General
Bradley
yeah you know Rochester I was thinking
that now might be the time to trade this
car in I read where the price of the
Maxwell is going up boss that's coffee
coffee
[Laughter]
oh oh yes well in that case I'll keep
the car but B never mind there's still
plenty of mileage in this motor well if
we're going to keep it let's at least
convert it to
gasoline they keep having these cold
strikes we'll have
to anyway Rochester I don't want oh stop
the car there's a red
light
see look at the big crowd on the corner
waiting for the bus H all those people
at 10 cents a
[Laughter]
piece I could get three or four of them
in here and no no the last time I did
that I had to hold a baby on my lap the
mother didn't have any change
either
well I Rochester why don't you drive on
the light turned green so did the motor
died well start it start it I will I
will I'll pull out the choke turn on the
ignition then get out and kick it right
in the
transmission Rochester just step on the
starter
okay
[Applause]
all right you people step back and stop
laughing it's not funny go ahead Ro has
step on the starter again just a second
I'm connecting this loose wire okay say
Mommy what is it is that car one of
those new Buick no no son the Buick has
holes in the hood not in the
tires h
then Mommy what kind of a car is it I
don't know it must be a foreign make
Madam it's not a foreign make this is an
American car not so loud I want my boy
to be proud of his
[Laughter]
country look Madam now come on Whitney
we've got to go Mommy I think you made
him mad he's throwing coal at
us my that's a strange way for General
Bradley to act
Rochester what's taking you so long get
the car started yes General stop
saluting and let's go yes I've got the
wire fixed now I'll step on the starter
again
[Applause]
new
new get up there boy come on come on get
moving now cut that out
[Applause]
Rochester now start the car I don't want
to be late for
rehearsal she started boys once more man
Tri over machine all right all right now
Rochester when we get to the studio I
want you to wait for me after rehearsal
we're going out shopping for a
Thanksgiving turkey yes sir H what's the
matter boss we just thinking with my
luck if I go out and buy a turkey I'll
win one on crosley's $2 million giveaway
well here we are at CBS drive right into
the parking
lot wait here Rochester I won't be
long
yeah well look who's standing over there
there
[Applause]
Edwin
hello hello Jackie
there
Jack Jack well hello hello Ed hello Jack
GE with that's a beautiful new Cadillac
you've got Ed that's not a Cadillac it's
my Maxwell oh is it yeah well I've been
in television so long everything is out
of
focus oh yes yeah anyway get I'm glad I
ran into you because I want to tell you
your show is certainly one of the finest
things on television oh thank you jag I
don't know I I hardly think it's that
good Oh and stop being so modest I don't
know gosh television it certainly is a
far cry from the first time you and I
played the Palace Theater in New York
many years ago yeah I'll never forget
that bill there were you uh-huh me
uh-huh and Al jolen Al
jolen whatever became of him
anyway oh he's doing all right he
changed his name to Larry parks and he's
in pictures
oh he just finished a picture called
jolon sings again oh is that so well I
wouldn't know about that Jack the only
pictures I ever see are the ones with my
son Keenan Keenan um Keenan uh what's
his last name again win oh win win
that's the one that's the one yes kingom
win isn't that
silly I know that name just as well as I
know my
own yes well I got to run along and see
you again oh just a minute Jack how
would you like to be a guest star
sometime on my spidel television show me
on your television show M gee I'd love
it Ed anytime at all oh thank you Jack
goodbye goodbye goodbye
Ed she's a wonderful fell such a great
comedian too I don't know when you
compliment him he's so modest well I
better hurry into the
[Music]
studio oh hello Mel hello Mr Benny can
you use me on your show this week oh For
Heaven's Sake haven't you got work yet
well I was supposed to be on with Ed win
last Thursday but he's so absent minded
he forgot a I know what you mean I was
just talking to him about our old days
at the palace and would you believe it
Mel he didn't even remember Al
jolon oh
quiet wish that Mel would get a new
routine it's amazing how a guy can
afford a wife and 14 kids and
[Applause]
just oh
well oh oh hello Don I'm uh don I'm
looking at you no I didn't say hello Don
I'm sorry I'm late but I ran into Edwin
outside and stopped to talk to him
Edward oh geez a wonderful fell isn't he
jack yes D I'm proud to say he's one of
my dearest friends well I don't blame
you for being crazy about him did you
see his television show last Thursday no
no I didn't D oh what a shame everything
Ed said was a scream he's a terrific
comedian yes yes D wi is quite funny now
Don Jack Jack you know there's certain
things when does better than anybody
else in fact he gets the biggest laughs
I've ever heard
anywhere Don let's get on with the r ja
last week he had the audience roaring
during his entire
show so what anybody can get laughs in
television if he has a funny cameram
man now let's get on with the rehearsal
Well Jack don't get mad at me I wasn't
the one who started talking about Edwin
you were all right all right now let's
forget it okay Jack but I just thought
you'd be proud since you're such a good
friend of American's greatest
comedian
oh so now Edwin is America's greatest
comedian yes Jack I think he is that's
my honest opinion
done
Don I don't know how much the Frank
Sinatra show is paying you but save it
Fat Boy
Save understand I agree with Dani I
think Ed win is
terrific do I hear a voice from the
shallow end of the laa tar
pit you heard me dad I ain't speaking
Portuguese
so you also think that Edwin is the
funniest comedian in the world yes he is
the funniest present company accepted of
course well thank you I meant
me Phil Phil I don't know how much Alice
is paying you but save it kid save it
now look in order to avoid arguments
let's get on with the rehearsal that's
just what we were doing before you came
in I'm going to have my boys run through
their number right now good and I hope
it's not one of those corn pone Tunes
you always play oh no don't worry about
that Jackson this week I'm playing a
tune from South Pacific wellow from
South Pacific well I'd like to hear it
all right give it to him fellas so one
two
[Music]
three all right hold hold
hold Phil
that's Phil from South Pacific it ain't
from strong Bley
Roberto all right Phil all right I won't
argue with you to you that's from South
Pacific you want to play it on the
program play it but at least do me this
favor just for a change have the boys in
your Orchestra look presentable now wait
a minute Jackson what's wrong with my
assembly all right we'll start off with
Sammy your drummer look at him sitting
there way up above of all the other boys
with his big bald head shining out in
the
audience now I know he has a two pay why
doesn't he wear it he thinks one to a
show is
enough any more complaints
quickly yes but I haven't time for it
now we'll hear your band number later
let's have the commercial done Don is
the quartet here I thought you were mad
at me I am but we've got to have a
commercial now what have you got
prepared well we've been working all
week and we have a wonderful arrangement
of the Raymond Overture the Raymond
Overture d That's much too heavy for a
comedy program well I guess you're right
jack of course I'm right and anyway
you're not in the mood to play the
violin no I my
violin there's a part in this Overture
for my violin yes but you're right it's
too heavy for a comedy program I said
you were too
heavy and the arment Overture is perfect
for our show where's my violin under
your arm oh yes yes yes are you ready
boys all right now wait till I tune up
now just a minute I get my
[Music]
violin all right boys let's have it the
ray
over LSM
[Music]
MF LSM MF
[Music]
is this where I come in
on
smoke
[Music]
lucky round and
[Music]
Fir free and
easy on the
[Music]
oh
Ln
[Music]
M for smok you cannot beat yes weat you
cannot
[Music]
beat
you
again LS o LS LS LS LS
[Music]
LS
you see Don you see how wrong you are
those heavy numbers are great for the
show you know sometimes it's good oh
hello Jack sorry I'm late oh oh that's
all right Mary you know I'm always on
time I I really feel awful when I'm late
like this Mary I told you it's nothing
forget it I would have been here sooner
but I ran into Edwin Gee's funny look
Mary either be here on time or don't
come at
all uh what's the matter with him oh
he's mad because a lot of people think
Ed win is funny oh For Heaven's Sake
Jack are you jealous again what do you
mean again I never get jealous of
another comedian success go on you're
still sending poison pen letters to
Buster
Keaton
Mary please and once Margaret O'Brien
got a laugh on the luck show and you
went around telling people she was a
60-year-old
that's enough now this has gone
too far now now wait a minute Jack let's
get this straight just because we work
for you do we have to think you're the
greatest comedian in the world no no
Mary no you don't this is a free
country and one more crack like that and
you'll be the freest gal
[Music]
in
[Applause]
now let's drop the subject and get on
with the rehearsal Dennis what song are
you going to sing Well Jack Dennis isn't
here remember you gave him permission to
go to Philadelphia to play a benefit oh
yes I forgot I wonder how he's doing
well I got a letter from him this
morning would you like me to read it yes
yes go ahead
okay dear Mary I arrived this morning in
Philadelphia after a wonderful trip on
the Super Chief my luggage is coming in
this afternoon on the El Capitan and
tomorrow my music is coming in on the
constellation boy did I get mixed up in
Kansas
City you know Mary's a funny thing about
that kid Dennis when he's here I wish he
were someplace else and yet when he's
someplace else I'm
happy now what else does he have to say
uh Philadelphia is noted for a lot of
things it's a birthplace of the
Declaration of Independence it's the
birthplace of Benjamin Franklin and it's
also the birthplace of America's
greatest comedian Ed
win Mary I thought I just mentioned that
because would burn Mr Benny up he's
always been jealous a Benjamin
Franklin read me that part again where
Dennis says he's in Philadelphia it
makes me feel good wait Jack there's
more to the letter tell Mr Benny that
since I can't be on the program this
week I'm sending over Larry Stevens
Larry Stevens well where is he go open
the door Mary why tell me to open the
door I'm not telling you that's what's
written in the
letter what see tell Mr Benny that since
I can't be on the program this week I'm
sending over Larry Stevens go open the
door well that I can't understand
but hello Mr Benny
Larry
Larry the most peculiar thing happened
Dennis wrote in his letter that he was
sending you over and for me to open the
door how did he time it that well he's
had me standing here for 5 days oh well
come on in thank you well hello Larry
hello Mary how you Don well Larry has
been two years since we've seen each
other hasn't it yes sir in fact the last
time I saw you you were headlining the
bill at low state New York yes sir are
you here on aable tour now no sir Jack
right now Larry's the star of the show
at the Oasis Club here in Los Angeles
isn't that right Larry yes sir some
dialogue yes sir yes sir no sir yes sir
is that all you can say no sir but
Dennis warned me not to get any
[Laughter]
laughs wait a minute Dennis Dennis
warned you not to get any laughs yes sir
who warned you Mr
Benny
look Larry danis sent you over here to
sing so let's have it
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
okay I can see no matter how near you'll
be you'll never belong to me but I can
dream can't
I can't I pretend that I'm locked in the
bend of your
Embrace for
dreams are just like
[Music]
wine and I am drunk with
M I'm aware
my heart is a sad
Affair there's much
disillusion
be but I Can
Dream can't
I can't
I adore
you although we are oce
apart
I can't make you open your heart but I
Can
Dream can
I can't I adore
[Music]
you we are
o
above I can't make you open your
heart but I can
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
dream
[Music]
that uh that was very good Larry it'll
be fine on the program Larry have you
been doing much radio lately well no I
haven't Mr Benny but I I have a little
television show you have well that's
wonderful thank you someday I hope I'll
be a biggest star as Ed
win Larry he's the funniest comedian
nobody
asked if you think that he's such a Jack
Jack let's finish the rehearsals so we
can all go home well I like to get over
with too I got to go downtown buy a
turkey buy a turkey yes I'm going to buy
a Thanksgiving turkey what's so
surprising about that you haven't paid
for a turkey since you chipped in with a
pilgrims chi in with a pilgrims chips in
with a
pilg Mary I don't know how much they're
paying you at the Burbank theater but
save it Gypsy save
it now let's get on with the rehearsal
Don where are the scripts they haven't
come down yet Jack haven't come down yet
oh For Heaven's Sake give me that
phone oh mayel what is it gu
[Applause]
CH Mr Benny's line is flashing yeah I
wonder what all the king's money wants
now I'll find out
hello yes Mr Benny you're your wish is
my command what does he want gu he wants
I should call the mograph department
seems they forgot to bring down the
script scripts well how do you like that
and Mr Benny told me that when he's on
the air all his jokes are R
Li ad live that's a hot one one Sunday
it was time to go on the air he couldn't
find his script and for a half hour all
that came out of him was what
and and for an anorad lived another
watt oh you're just jealous because the
last time I was out with him he kissed
me well if you want to have careless
lips that's your
P but it's my duty to warn you that
kissing breeds dreams well you don't
have to worry about me Mr Benny ain't
kissing any anybody with germs on their
lips how would he know with his bcal he
can see
them anyway I'm surprised that Operator
Operator gertrud I'm sorry Mr Benny the
mograph department doesn't answer well
I'm waiting for my scripts the least you
could have done was to call me back and
tell me don't yell at me who do you
think you are
Edwin what hey mapel he's at liing
again oh goodbye Jack what happened
Edwin Edwin Edwin Edwin that's all I've
been hearing all day you f Don Gert all
you know is Ed win Jack don't get
excited I'll run up to the mograph
department and get the scripts well you
can get the scripts if you want to pass
them out and rehearse them by yourselves
I'm going
home Edwin Edwin Edwin you think there
was nobody else in Show Business
everybody has to make a big thing out of
it hello Jack hey Jack don't forget
you're going to be on my television show
soon listen when I wouldn't be on your
show for a million dollars you big
ham what look at him trying to add
Li he's the world's greatest comedian
I'm Buster
K ja was back in just a moment but first
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Strike uh go ahead Jack I don't want to
Jack don't be childish you've got to I
don't care I'm not going to do it now
Jack you're being ridiculous you simply
have to do it now go ahead
oh all right I want to thank Edwin for
being on my show today there I said it
goodbye good night
folks be sure to hear Dennis day and a
day in the life of Dennis day stay tuned
in for the am Andy Show which follows
immediately this is CBS the Columbia
broadcasting
[Applause]
system
oh