[Music]
Hello friends welcome to this day in
Jack Benny I'm John Henderson this
episode is from October 3rd
1937. it's the first episode of a new
season last season on the Jack Benny
Program they visited New York Dave Lyman
in his orchestra say Jack yeah oh
hallway but how are you listen Jack my
friends all seem to think that you made
me sound like a pretty tough guy I'm not
a Mugger or something or anything I'm
considered a gentleman well I'm terribly
sorry Abe really well don't do it again
or I'll kick your teeth out
each week the radio show was performed
live over the Airways twice once for the
East Coast time zone Eddie how's your
morning Paul and the cows and the
chickens and oh they're fine but they're
all sitting around the radio listening
in well that's interesting course I
never got a fan letter from a cow well
no moves is good moves
go back to sleep Mary you said it we got
any more cow jokes Andy no I guess we
milked them well Andy what'd you do this
summer have a nice vacation and once for
the West Coast time zone well Andy how's
your mom Pawn the chickens and well the
chickens are molting and modeling look
so good either
oh
we'd have that gag for our first show
improve Andy I wish
I wish
Andy what did you do this summer have a
nice for most of the episodes we only
have the West Coast broadcast but for
this episode we do have both recordings
yes I've heard the Alps are gorgeous oh
they are well Don when I think of them I
could just yodel
over the summer break Jack Benny's
latest movie hit theaters it was called
artists and models I really do represent
quite a worthy charity yeah something
about babies isn't it exactly I love
babies oh do you oh yes I used to be one
myself
Mary Livingston's one and only movie was
about to hit theaters it was called this
way please oh you looked well oh I hope
the dance routines aren't too hard wait
a minute we don't dance we're usherit
I thought I was hard as a chorus girl
well you've been hired under false
pretenses here's your flashlight you
carry this but you never use it unless
somebody trips then you flash it on so
they can see what they stumbled over if
they're interested other movie stars of
the day included Marlene Dietrich I'll
be ready in a few minutes and Loretta
Young did you ever in your life hear
anything so ridiculous Jack Dempsey was
a boxer
and Dracula was a fictional vampire I
bid you welcome here in the 1930s air
travel was limited most people would
travel overseas on large ocean liners
like the SS Normandy the no monkey giant
luxury liner of all the Seas carrying 3
000 Souls is a veritable floating city
and the RMS Queen Mary as she nurses her
ways to the silent every ship gives her
a blast of welcome and her siren booms a
reply
if you'd like to contact me you can
email Jack bennypodcast gmail.com and
find more episodes at this daybenny.com
get your roommates together for a bowl
of jello and enjoy the show
the jello program starring Jack
mistra the orchestra opens a program
with Jerome Kern's high wide and
handsome from the picture of the same
name
[Music]
well here we are back again beginning
our fourth year on the air for Jello
we're Mighty happy to be back and we
hope you're happy too we hope you like
our shows better than ever before and we
know you like jello better than ever
because Jello is being improved all the
time experts in the jello Laboratories
are working constantly to make jello
always more delicious to bring your
richer fruit flavors more luscious than
ever and glowing colors fresh and bright
to make jello more attractive to look at
and more appetizing to taste but
remember if you want to get the real
thing insist on genuine Jello or Jello
brings you that wonderful extra Rich
fruit flavor which simply cannot be
topped look for the big red letters on
the box they spell jello
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
and handsome played by Phil Harris and
his orchestra and Now ladies and
gentlemen after a holiday of 13 weeks we
bring you a man whose vacation is over
and so is yours Jack Benny
thank you thank you gee I can't be that
good as you know again this is Jack
Benny talking full of pep and raring to
go you know Donna feels so good to be
back in the studio with the old gang
yeah I'm even happy to see this silly
old microphone hello Mike hello Jack guy
well Don I don't know whether I want to
tell you this or not but on my 13-week
vacation I don't know of anyone I've
missed as much as you well thanks Jack
I've missed you too yeah I'm sure glad
to see you see if you were already young
I'd kiss you
but really Don I've never seen you in
better shape you look so rested so do
you jack and you you look so healthy oh
you do too Jack and you you look so
handsome
hmm
[Music]
did you hear me Don yes yes thanks oh
hi I guess I went too far but now Jack
told me all about your trip to Europe
did you have a good time Don I had the
most marvelous time I've ever had in my
life either it's more fun than a barrel
of monkeys and you know what they are oh
I'll say I tell you Don there's nothing
like an ocean voyage for complete
relaxation I was so relaxed I didn't eat
for four days
but it was great they're already 3 000
miles on the Open Sea weren't you scared
what's there to be scared of you're on a
big ocean liner what could happen well
for one thing the boat might sink oh
that's silly I didn't even think of it
well that boat trip must have been good
for you certainly put on a lot of weight
I did yes yes especially around your
waist around my oh darn it I forgot to
take off my life bill
isn't that awful well it's funny you
never noticed it haven't you taken a
bath yes and I was wondering why I kept
floating out of the tub
all right really I should have guessed
but now uh Jack what about Europe uh
what did you do and where did you go oh
I went all over I was in England France
Italy but the loveliest place I've ever
seen in my life is Switzerland what
scenery beautiful huh well Don it's a
second Lake Arrowhead
and those mountains I just can't
describe them oh yes I've heard the Alps
are gorgeous oh they are they well done
when I think of them I could just yodel
really you should see those outs with
Rippling streams and wildflowers
blooming and cheese growing all over the
place you know I've often wondered about
that is there really so much cheese in
Switzerland is there well when a good
rat dies that's where he goes
but of course Don there's only one place
to really have fun and that's Paris so
they say uh how did Fair strike you jack
right between the eyes I had such a wild
time I had to sleep in a straight jacket
and what do you think I bumped into over
there oh Mary she went to Europe too the
little copycat
she was mad about terrorists oh hello
Phil hi Jack glad to see you back again
foreign
Phil I don't know of anyone I've missed
as much as you thanks Jack do you have a
nice vacation Phil uh what'd you do this
summer well I put my band and moth balls
yes and then I went down to Texas on a
little fishing trip fishing had you have
any luck well I caught 110 pound blonde
in Galveston
well well that that was luck yeah but
her father was the game warden so I had
to throw her back
oh that's too bad say Jack I heard you
telling Don about Europe did you make
the trip alone no Phil I went over with
an uncle of Mine He's a swell fellow but
the only trouble is he drinks a lot you
know he is well at least you had company
somebody to talk to oh yes yeah if you
can understand hiccups yeah
my uncle was the only passenger that was
seasick and didn't know it
what a guy I meant to ask you jack What
boat did you go over on uh the Normandy
you ought to see it Phil is gigantic oh
what a boat looks like Don Wilson with
funnels
wait a minute wait a minute Phil who do
you think was all the same boat oh
Marlene Dietrich right on the same room
no kidding and would you believe that
Phil her cabin was only 20 miles from
mine
and I got bunions to prove it
fellas hey fellas look look who's here
uh
[Applause]
hello Mary I'm ready to you guys oh Mary
cut out that French you're back home now
you know gee Mary you're looking swell
did you have any fun in Paris
she was in the stores all the time over
there oh I bet you did a lot of shopping
huh Mary are we
did you meet any cute fellas
stop showing off I'm glad you didn't
make the trip with me so am I What boat
did you go over on the Queen Mary
Livingston
Queen Mary Livingston yes the captain
told me I could say that oh
they fellas before I forget I brought
you all a little
Prince you did
what perfume oh just what we needed
speak to yourself Phil come here Don
here's your bottle it's called a kiss in
the dark oh thanks Mary and here's yours
bill it's called love sardinians well
quite romantic what's mine Mary
Dracula's dream
the fine name for a perfume it also
kills ants
he has a nipple on it oh I gave you
Kenny
anyway Barry was nice here to bring his
perfume oh and that's not all you know
what I brought for our audience what a
poem Oh well that ought to smell too
see I pull the line had a laugh myself
to hear that folk the poem you want to
hear it you want
you want well boy looks like we're
outnumbered uh What's the title of it
Mary uh Paris in the springs
Terrace in the Paris in the spring yeah
I wrote it in bed oh
well let's hear it all right
I've just returned from Dear Old Paris
where life is gay and there are no
carrots
some call it Paris some Paris now which
is right I'm up a tree blow up a tree
I'm doing the Big Apple oh
and with your good old Eiffel Tower
where your friend can meet and say
bonjour and people poor and people Rich
right across your London Bridge
London Bridge is in London well I was
there too oh
I Adore You Paris France where girls buy
hats and Men buy trousers
trousers all right pants and taxi cabs
they honk and raffle the drivers look
but do not tattle Mary Marie to you your
onion soup is so delish it puts you in a
swell from this and the whole world
shouts hurray for your Patty fully Graw
Mary that's Patty foie gras it's fully I
didn't like that well I don't like the
whole poem uh your Waiters with their
fine behaviors
yeah the strawberries The Raspberries
the Cherry orange juice the lemon antsy
lime and see bully Bulls hey Harris why
people play Phil Mercy fuku
hahaha
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
[Applause]
played by uh Phil Harris and his
augmented Orchestra and fill you right
back and forth again believe me that
number sounded plenty good you think
that's something way do we learn it
by the way Phil I notice you've enlarged
your Orchestra quite a bit this season
what have you added three violins in the
cement mixer
well that's what I like something
Concrete in there yeah hmm gee three
fiddles funny I was watching that middle
fellow in particular he seems to uh
employ the same technique on the violin
that I do I know I'm letting him go
tomorrow
I don't want to tell you your business
you know I always hate to butt in but I
do think that those three violinists
ought to have strings on their
instruments they should certainly I told
them that but they talked me out of
oh you shouldn't be so easily swayed but
there's no question about it Phil your
Orchestra has an added quality what'd
you think of the last number Mary the
cement mixer wasn't loud enough well
it's tired I just finished a symphonic
engagement at Boulder Dam
hey Jack look look who just came in oh
how about who Kenny oh it's me hello
everybody
Hello Kenny hello Jack old boy oh boy
well it's another year that's right
again he is sure looking swell and I
shouldn't tell you this but during my
vacation in Europe I don't know of
anyone I've missed as much as you thanks
Jack next year you can take me with you
no I'd rather miss you
see I bet you had to swell time in
Europe Jack you look so tan and
dissipated
Kenny you should have been there really
did you get that postcard I sent you
from Paris did I wow candy that was a
picture of a museum oh yeah yeah
Jack have you noticed how much candy has
grown this summer that's right down he's
getting to be a real young man isn't he
is he married he sure is and he's better
looking too gosh do you mean that Mary
and give me a kiss oh a fast worker too
go ahead Mary you haven't seen Kenny all
summer oh I want to kiss him oh go on no
oh come on Mary give him a kiss what
have you got to lose my gum
[Laughter]
oh no he'll tell everybody he will not I
will too
isn't that awful come on Mary quit
stalling you better hurry up or I'll get
out of the mood oh look look who's in
the mood look
come on Kenny brace yourself all set all
right camera
how was it Mary he had grown
there you see let's do it again no no
that's enough save your energy for your
song what are you going to sing tonight
Kenny well as soon as I get my breath
I'm going to sing remember me that sweat
oh wait a minute Kenny just come in
Mr Benny yes I want to take this
opportunity of telling you how glad I am
to see you back on the air well well
thanks I don't know if anyone I've
missed as much as me toodaloo
I knew 13 weeks was unlucky singing
[Music]
here's a song that I've created nothing
too sophisticated it's a theme that
everybody knows
no not a hilly Billy ballot full of
sentimental salad though you think it's
silly eyes
[Music]
and my song is dedicated to the people
who are mated listen now for here is how
it goes foreign
[Music]
[Applause]
I can see that little angel on your
knees
and to see he kind of sort of looks like
before
I'm the boy whose only joy is loving you
who worries till he hurries home when
day is through
[Music]
and I'm the guy you'll give your good
night
foreign
that you're married to and I should look
a little familiar to you
[Applause]
[Music]
very good I was remember me from Mr Dobb
takes the air sung by Kenny Baker the
great lover of the jello program and
Kenny your voice is better than ever yes
it certainly is really Kenny your voice
has improved tremendously yes sir well
this may sound hammy but I agree with
you
well this may sound Slammy well we took
that joke out
Kenny is present now you know oh yes I
nearly forgot here candy I brought you
something from Paris just a little
remembrance oh boy what is it well it's
sweet and it's liquid and you have to
spray it on you now what is it a kiss
now it's perfume oh it Shucks what's
your language
now run away both of you kitties we got
things to do around here and now ladies
and gentlemen for the feature attraction
of our opening program we are going to
present the first in a series of Highly
dramatic offerings
oh pardon me come in
well well hi everybody
Andy I'm glad to see you me too gee the
whole gang's here yep well Andy how's
your morning Paul and the chickens and
well the chickens are molting and
modeling look so good either
oh
yeah we'd have that gag for our first
show
improve Andy I wish
I wish you what did you
Andy what did you do this summer have a
nice vacation sure did I took a boat and
went over to Catalina Island Catalina
Island that wasn't much of a trip why
don't you come to Europe with me what
for I can get just as sick in two hours
as you can in five days I know but
there's nothing like Paris say Andy did
you get that picture postcard of the
Eiffel Tower I sent you yes sir sure got
pretty legs ain't it
foreign
I wish I'd have been over in Paris with
you though I'd like to meet some of them
cute madame zillies
mechanizellis yeah but Andy you can't
talk French who wants to talk
not me it's too darn dangerous the boat
might think no there's nothing to be
afraid of is there Mary of course not
you see Jack wore curls in case they
yell Women and Children First
oh
wow I was traveling in car
I brought you something from Paris too
you did what is it perfume it's called
UL de la Flor de Lagu
AR he's dog gone the church smells I'm
glad you like it you mind if I pour some
on my Hogs they need it worse than I do
I don't go wasting it well Andy as long
as you're here tonight you might as well
join us we're going to put on a little
play oh
yeah we better get into it we haven't
got much time and now ladies and
gentlemen for our first dramatic
offering of the Season we are going to
present
now what come in
hey Jack Jack look look who walked in
well this is a surprise Abe Lyman of all
people hello
hey Lyman hello Jack and I see you a
minute sure sure folks you remember Abe
Lyman his band was with us in New York
last winter well Abe uh what's on your
mind I didn't expect you to know what do
you want to see me about well it's a
little personal Jack I'd rather keep it
private oh come on Abe cut it off
there's no secrets around here out with
it look Jack this is your first program
of the Season isn't it yes and I noticed
that you're using Phil Harris's band
well yeah say what about it well last
winter when you were in New York you
promised to use my band I did
yeah and I got a letter to prove it
now look Gabe look what's the trouble
Jack oh nothing Phil only last winter
when we went East Dave did one broadcast
for me I did three I got paid for one
well look that's neither here nor there
I got Phil Harris signed up for the
season besides there's no place to
discuss business well what about that
letter you sent me well I wrote that
when I was mad at Phil
but anyway I didn't think you could read
well my uncle can now look Abe I had
enough grief with you in New York so lay
off Phil Harris was all set and he went
to a lot of trouble augmenting his
orchestra he's even got a cement mixer
that's nothing I've got a steamroller in
my van I don't believe it you will when
I run over you
oh yeah and next week a flounder will
say julo again is that song all I know
is my fan is going to be on this program
or you'll be number one on my Hit Parade
date me what are you trying to
intimidate me how do I know
well I'll call up your uncle and find
out
A Fine Place to come in and start an
argument
why don't you and Abe go out in the hall
where you can be alone think I'm crazy
now look at it we can talk this over
some other time I'm talking it over
right now yeah you stay out of there
Kenny
had enough of this and I'm not going to
waste any more time arguing oh you're
not eh hey there Layman why don't you
leave Buck alone get away from me the
Viner I'll clear your throat
hey watch out Andy oh my God a baritude
a fine thing that happened on my first
program hey Jack
why
I feel kind of embarrassed about this I
I know you're not to blame Phil no Phil
it's not your fault of course not now
let's drop all of this and go back to
where we were okay give me another kiss
Mary
well I'm glad the subject has changed
and Now ladies and gentlemen for our
future attraction tonight go away Abe uh
we will present a dramatic offering you
won't be in it now listen eh come on
Lyman get out of here pipe down Wilson
or I'll knock you loose from your six
delicious flavors
that well it won't be genuine without
the big red letters on the box
imagine disrupting this whole broadcast
I wish my pal Fred Allen was here he'd
show you something oh Jack Dempsey
now look here age both I give you my
word that we'll talk this over in a day
or two will that be all right I don't
know I had my heart set on this job I'm
sorry
Yee and I ate Jello all summer
well you feel better don't you oh sure
hey Don maybe we can get a testimonial
out of them
well all right Abe run along I'll be
seeing you and I'll be seeing you too
well fellas I was some commotion wasn't
it I'm sorry it happened Jack but it was
your own fault you shouldn't have
written him that letter oh I only did it
to encourage him decide how did I know
his uncle could read oh don't worry
about him jack no wait let me hit you
yeah I'm gonna hit me I can take care of
myself
and then taking that cod liver oil all
summer for nothing believe me hey how
about our Playbook no Andy I'm in Old
mood you know he's trying to go on with
this program
come on fellas Lyman might be waiting
outside so I'll take you all home
come on surround me boys I want to be in
the Middle where I can think
we know all men love chocolate and they
all love chocolate pudding but it's not
very often they make their own chocolate
pudding here's one man who does though
Mr Lowell basic of Burbank California
listen to what he says about Jello
chocolate pudding
I'm a bachelor and chief cook for the
three of us we can usually wrestle a
pretty good dinner but desserts have
been a problem however the other day I
noticed your Jello chocolate pudding on
the Shelf at the store we use a lot of
jello but I'd never tried this so I
brought home a package and surprised the
boys that evening with the swallow
smoothest Pudding we ever had it's a
boon to bachelors and it's well eating
we're glad Mr beesick discovered Jello
chocolate pudding or Jello chocolate
pudding is delicious and is easy to make
it takes only a few minutes and you get
a rich velvety chocolate pudding with a
luscious creamy consistency that's
always just right find out for yourself
it's the same low price as Jello so
order some Jello chocolate pudding
tomorrow
the last number of the first program in
the new Jello series and we'll be with
you again next Sunday night weather and
Lyman permitting
sure get into things don't I folks say
Mary I see where your picture this way
please is opening at the Paramount
Theater this week yes it is Jack and
let's go and see it opening night see
everybody will be there Phil and Kenny
and Don and Abe Abe Lincoln or Lyman
Lyman oh well I'll go some other time
good night
foreign
[Music]
there's a special announcement next
Saturday night Jack Haley starts a new
series of programs for Log Cabin Sheriff
over most of these same stations see
your local pay for the time in the face
and nearest you and be sure to tune in
Amanda Devine whose present picture
you're a sweetheart soon to be released
as appeared on this program through the
courtesy of Universal Pictures and Kenny
Baker through the courtesy of urban
Leroy Productions this is a National
Broadcasting Company
[Applause]
thank you