[Music]
Hello friends and welcome to this day in
Jack Benny I'm John Henderson this
episode is from November 16 1941
approaching the holiday of Thanksgiving
and they mentioned the historical
fiction novel by Hemingway about the
pilgrims the courtship of Miles Standish
and so Priscilla and John Alden were
married and lived happily ever after
and that radio listeners is the story of
the courtship of mild Standish also from
history they mentioned Commodore George
Dewey in the 1898 Battle of Manila Bay
in Jack Benny's latest movie Charlie's
Aunt Jack played a college student who
dressed up as an older lady to play
chaperone impressive fetch me six penny
worth of hairpins yeah
no it was six years old people would
still remember the movie ah wilderness
it's about time that you and I had a
serious talk about certain matters
pertaining to uh
well the opposite sex some celebrities
that everyone at the time would
recognize and many would still recognize
today Fred McMurray Henry Fonda Robert
Taylor who was married to Barbara
Stanwick and Clark Gable who was married
to Carol Lombard
and it was football season
the next play is brilliantly executed
and the Gridiron floor resembles a
battlefield strong with couple Princeton
tigers
and finally the night before this
broadcast NBC was celebrating their 15th
anniversary with a three-hour radio
special the biggest birthday party radio
has ever known
NBC's 15th anniversary free for all
[Applause]
gosh we're on the air
look at all those people yeah are you
scared nah
say what do you do with NBC Mr Wilson
I'm the front door man oh well I'm on
the back door glad to know you belly's
my name it was awfully nice of NBC to
let us go on the air with all the actors
wasn't Mr Wilson oh just call me Don all
right you can call me Jack as well you
know Donald if we're good tonight and
get laughs and everything maybe we can
get a job on the radio and not be
doorman anymore yeah maybe we can be big
time comedians like Abbott and Costello
or Bob Hope
Bob Hope
do you like him
[Music]
that guy I think he's wonderful I don't
you know what burns me up every time he
comes in here to do his program he comes
through the back and when I open the
door I always say hello Mr hope and you
know what he says what hello blue eyes
so embarrassing with the people standing
around what if my eyes are blue that are
better than that mud color he's got
besides that he's got a nose like a
chaise lounge
[Music]
thinks he's so smart so Jack you know
who my favorite radio actor is oh Edgar
Bergen Edgar Bergen do you like him
that guy yeah he always comes through
the front door and he's so polite he
better come through the front door after
what he gave me for Christmas last year
what do you think he gave me Don I don't
know what two dollars in an envelope can
you imagine that two dollars yeah what
burns me up they say he makes over a
hundred a week
and forever McGee and Molly you can have
them too as far as I'm concerned oh I
love them and you know who else I think
are swell George Burns and Gracie Allen
oh poof what do you see in them
foreign
goes for that Red Skeleton too
Works around here what was that done was
he isn't there anybody you like that
works here yes Frank Morgan he's a peach
oh yes Frank Morgan's really a riot he
gets a lot of laughs oh then it's Ralph
I like I knew it was one of them Morgan
anyway I'll tell you one thing Don
Wilson I don't know why you and I have
to stand around here being dormant the
rest of our lives those guys can be
funny on the radio so can we you're
right maybe a lot of people will hear us
tonight yeah and then they'll act us on
the air we'll have a big sponsor say uh
I hear jellos looking for someone oh
foreign
hey let's try for that one hey look down
I've got a great idea for a program we
can be Jack and Don the happy Harmony
hams
you sing and I'll play the violin will
do a lot of jokes in between gee that
sounds marvelous of course at first we
may have to go on at five o'clock in the
morning but we'll build up an audience
then we'll have NBC right where we want
them and you know something else quiet
here comes Walter bunker the production
manager oh that bunker is always
sneaking up on us with those rubber
shoes
hello Mr bunker hello Mr bunker hello
boys is he off duty tonight no we just
thought this being NBC's 15th
anniversary we'd say a few words over
the microphone well that was very nice
of you boys now uh go get back to your
doors yes Mr bunker yes Mr bunker come
on Don when we're big stars on the radio
we'll fix that guy
[Music]
if you enjoy this day in Jack Benny take
a moment to give it a five star rating
and review get yourself a nice bowl of
jello with a locked in flavor and enjoy
the show
the jello program brought to you by
Jello and Jello pudding starring Jack
Benny with Mary Livingston Phil Harris
Dennis day and yours truly Don Wilson
the orchestra opens a program with jump
for joy
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
enjoyment you get from today's new Jello
now made better than ever by jello's
wonderful locked in flavor here's one of
the biggest improvements ever made in
gelatin desserts a new scientific method
by which jello's Full original goodness
is locked right into the tiny Jello
particles the gelatin desserts you use
to buy continually lost flavor during
the days they spent in the package they
became flat and tasteless As Time stole
away their freshness but the new Jello
is different today all of jello's bright
tingling flavor is locked into jello's
crystallite particles locked in for
Keeps where time can't touch it no
matter how long your Jello remains in
the package just prove it for yourself
open a package of jello notice there's
no heavy fruity Aroma that tells of
escaping flavor then dissolve the jello
and Presto you unlock its captive
delight and outpours a delicious flood
of flavor don't wait another day to try
it friends order several packages of the
new Jello tomorrow the flavor never goes
away we put it in and it's there to stay
foreign
[Music]
played by the orchestra and Now ladies
and gentlemen as you all know next
Thursday is Thanksgiving and no doubt
most of you will have turkey for dinner
that's right so this evening without
further Ado we bring you a chestnut for
your dressing Jack Benny
you
thank you thank you Joe again this is
Jack Benny talking and Don thanks so
much for that introduction it was not
only topical but flopical
Chestnut for your dressing well in my
opinion Jacob was a very clever gag I
thought of it all by myself while I was
shaving this morning and you didn't cut
your throat I can't understand it
anyhow down it'll uh soon be
Thanksgiving and I love you by the way
would you and the little woman like to
come over to my house next Thursday for
a nice wild duck dinner thanks Jack
we'll be very glad to wild duck huh yep
I went hunting yesterday morning and as
usual I brought home the limit three
does Beauties too but Jack the limit is
ten Ducks oh I mean on one shot Don I
you see I don't go out hunting and bang
away like it's Fourth of July you know
three decks with one shot my goodness I
had no idea you were such an expert
Hunter oh sure Don for me that's nothing
you know well I'd say that's darn good
by the way Jack what kind of a gun do
you use my my gun
oh it's just a plain ordinary
double-breasted shotgun
it uh it does the trick though you mean
double barrel don't you what oh oh yes
double barrel it's a Westchester well
this is you know I really never never
miss it this certainly is news Benny the
Sportsman tell me what'd you get
yesterday Mallards or canvas bags
I I beg partner
oh what was that I said what did you get
Mallards or canvas bags yes sir
but uh I want to tell you something Don
well what were they Mallards or canvas
bags they were Duck quack quack if you
don't want to come to dinner say so
suppose every time I shoot a duck I have
to go up to him and say my name is Benny
what's yours
okay
thank you
oh don't be ridiculous well I'm sorry
Jack I didn't mean to okay okay forget
it but believe me Don there's no thrill
in the world like let it getting out at
five in the morning hopping into that
row boat and waiting for those ducks to
fly by yes there's no question about it
that's real excitement by the way Jack
uh do you use a retriever
well I um begged pardon Don
do I use a what a retriever you know a
dog that swims out and gets the Ducks
after you shoot them a duck a dog that
swim
say that's an idea
that'll save Rochester from getting wet
all the time
wait till I tell them why Jack you don't
mean to say that Rochester jumps into
that cold water yes and he brings back
those Ducks without a tooth mark on him
except once when I accidentally hit him
on top of the head with an oar
anyway Dom be sure and come to dinner
and you'll taste the finest oh hello
Mary hello Jack hello John hello Mama
Mama
yeah she finally got a radio set oh
hello Mama keep up the payments
gee now she can listen to us oh say Mary
I went out hunting yesterday and I
brought you a little present here you
are some beautiful duck feathers here
what do I want with duck feathers you
can put them on a hat or something what
can I do with them glue them on your
chest it's going to be a cold winter
they'll just fit on my tattooed Eagle I
can go along with a gag sister
anyway if you don't want them I'll give
them to Dennis he'll think of something
where'd you get those feathers anyway I
told you I went hunting yesterday I go
every year remember last year when Paul
when you were with
me yeah
did you tell Don what happened never
mind what was it Mary Jack was in a row
boat when some ducks flew by and boy was
he excited oh so he pulled the trigger
to a quick shot a hole in the boat and
came home with 18 trout
well they were delicious fried in butter
and the way you explained that hole to
the owner of the boat well it could have
happened it could not it could too how
can a boat be torpedoed in Lake Henshaw
all right forget it was years ago and
that's the last time I'll ever take you
ducking oh hello Phil how you Jackson
well kids here's your tickets front row
Center bestma House tickets what tickets
here Mary now look hold them to
Wednesday night and get there early I
don't want you to miss a thing wait a
minute Phil what are those tickets for
well it says right there on them and you
guys don't think I can act huh well I'll
be done get a load of this fellas the
Hollywood night School third grade
dramatic Club
invite you to a special Thanksgiving
play and title the courtship of mild
Standish wow who are you Phil Miles
standard I'll let her read it go ahead
Mary this place Stars Willie Shapiro is
Miles Standish Butch Peterson is John
Alden go on go on and Philip Harris is
Priscilla
foreign
that's me I'm the heroine
that's heroin heroin so uh Phil um
Phil uh you take the girls party yeah
ain't that a novelty well not exactly
Phil if you remember I recently played
the female lead in Charlie's Aunt yeah
but you were an old bag I'm young and
tender
foreign
I'll put on a sweater with you any day
[Applause]
any day brother the courtship of my own
status they say that ought to be very
interesting Phil yeah now look fellas
get this plot Miles Standish is the
captain of the soldiers in Klamath mass
and he knows plenty about fighting them
Indians but when it comes to clinching
with a blonde the kid ain't happy
anyhow Captain standy sees this
beautiful doll Priscilla that's me with
my curls combed out
and I'm sitting by the window in my
Cottage spinning a wheel what are you
doing playing roulette I don't know I
don't say
what's up
isn't that awful anyhow Phil don't tell
us the plot now you'll spoil the
surprise what a character oh Mary would
you mind telling our beautiful young
Pilgrim Maiden to put down her spinning
wheel and direct a band number why don't
you speak for yourself Jackson
oh gold
go ahead and play will ya
hold it prissy
come in tell my grand for Mary
Livingston right here bud give him a tip
what do you jack give him a tip give him
a tip well it's your program okay okay
here you are Bud oh goody a ticket to
mile standings
get out of here
every time I look at his head I want to
play Tic-tac-toe
who's the wire from Mary it's her Mama
dear Mary program coming in fine how can
jack have the heart to shoot a duck when
he walks like one
foreign
gave us that gag Playfield why did she
have to buy a radio
[Applause]
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
that was this time the dreams on me
played by Pilgrim Harris and his
Plymouth rocks
Plymouth meaning the boys have landed
musically and rocks meaning I wish I had
some
and Now ladies and gentlemen as we
announced last Sunday the football
season being in full swing tonight the
Benny athletic actors will present their
annual drama of the Gridiron entitled he
fumbled the ball or who tickled the
tickle
now as usual
I would play the part of
Dennis
Dennis I wish you'd get here on time I'm
sorry I'm late Mr Benny but I couldn't
find a place to park my car Dennis you
don't have to drive around the streets
all day there's a parking lot next door
where you can leave your car for 15
cents how do you know I heard about
[Music]
I can go along with a gag
now where was I say Mr Benny what I
heard a broadcast last night that made
my blood boil it ought to burn you up
too
why who was funny I mean what uh
what do you mean well I was over at my
girl's house necking with her and she
got bored and turned on the radio
well naturally so so we listened and
there was a guy on the air that sounded
just like you and he even used your name
Jack Finney uh Dennis that was me on the
air last night I was doing a special
broadcast for NBC's 15th anniversary and
who played the part of Don Wilson that
was Wilson himself and if you'd have
been with us I'd still have to explain
it to you Josh was that really you and
John certainly we did a comedy Act and
Now ladies and gentlemen she was so
lousy I couldn't believe it
look look
kid
kid you just you just didn't get the
idea of our ass we were very good then
why did my girl turn off the radio and
go back to me I don't know
what a kid
and Now ladies and gentlemen getting
back to our grandma I would play the
part of flash Benny the famous football
coach of flat foot College oh Jack
wanted to let someone else be the coach
you don't know anything about football I
don't hey let me tell you something when
I was on the team at Waukegan High they
used to call me tiger Benny that's
because you scratched everybody with
your long fingernail they called me
tiger because when I played I was a
snarling vicious animal like I'm payday
foreign
what was that Dennis what was that watch
out for those fingernails kid no quiet
now let's get back to our casting Phil
you're going to be right in Dennis
you're going to be left in and done yes
Jack you're going to be everybody in
between so loosen your belt
now Mary you mean I'm Going to Be Right
Guard left guard right tackle left
tackle and Center yes well I must be
quite an actor uh take it any way you
want to
and now Mary in as much as we're short
of man you'll have to play on the team
too I'm not going to be a man you are
too I'm not going to wear football pants
and you're going to wear football pants
they better have lace on them
never mind oh what she said
Dennis
no he's talking I must have a talk with
that kid now I play
no
Dennis did you ever see our Wilderness
you must see it sometimes
now our um our play ladies and gentlemen
will go on immediately after
I'll take it
hello hello Mr Benny this is Rochester
well what is it I was looking at those
Ducks you shot yesterday and you know
boss they're pretty small yes they are
small in fact there ain't ducks at all
they're pigeons
look Rochester I ought to know what I
shot what makes you think they're
pigeons one of them's got a message on
his right leg
what just took Manila try and do it
foreign
[Applause]
oh some kid must have put that message
on for a gag I still insist their ducks
and we're going to have them for
Thanksgiving now take them out of the
ice box and dress them I'll let the
wheel you'll get here boss is so full of
Buckshot I can't lift them alone
well then then ask Mr Billingsley to
help you where is he he took the message
flying to Washington
well For Heaven's Sake stop them stop
them too late now and put the electric
fan on his head and jumped off the roof
oh my goodness and what happened his
feet is sticking out of the rainbow
well get him out of there I'll be home
soon so hang up okay song Boss so long
or say Rochester I've got good news for
you the next time we go duck hunting you
won't have to swim out for him I'm
buying a dog to do it thanks boss I was
getting tired of chasing that ball
anyway I just did that to keep you in
practice goodbye
as far as if I buy a dog I'll have to
get a dog house and a licensed thing
Dennis then if he bites the mailman I'll
be in trouble go ahead kid I have to
think that over
foreign
[Applause]
[Music]
long ago when the world was gray I
stroll away from the prongs
that were once okay and gone the hopes
held so long and dusk was slowly falling
on the leaves
[Music]
suddenly a sweet it was strong
[Music]
I heard a lonely Shepherd Lane
[Music]
[Applause]
I heard the music Clearly say
[Music]
that he was happy as could be
he played any play
our world was forgotten
like castles in air my everything
[Music]
hahaha
[Music]
off there's a little Shepherds
[Music]
that was Shepherd serenade sung by
Dennis day very good dentist and quite a
novel arrangement say Phil I notice you
put a harp in the orchestra for Dennis's
number and the harpist is the most
attractive young lady yeah she goes with
my guitar player oh the harpist in your
guitar player is it serious nah they're
just stringing each other
[Applause]
oh Priscilla
hmm
and Now ladies and gentlemen for our
drama of the Gridiron entitled we can't
lose or we can a
the scene is flat foot College in the
town of France the first half has just
ended in the annual game with meatball
Tech
and Coach flash Benny is giving his team
a pep talk in the locker room
now listen man in this next half we got
to go out there and fight you're playing
like a bunch of jellyfish you've been
out there 30 minutes and what's the
score I asked you what's the score Notre
Dame seven Northwestern six
at the trouble with you guys you're not
concentrating on this game I don't want
that portable radio out in the field
while we're playing
it's confusing well I'm doing the best I
can coach listen Livy
all during the game you've been tackling
meatball quarterback and slapping him in
the face what's the idea that's Jim the
rat never sends me pretty flowers
never mind the wrong man just stick to
the game you said coach and you left
guard Right Guard left tackle right
tackle in the center a fine game you've
all been playing ah none of your leper
will walk out won't we fellas You're
darn right yes you said it
I cut that out
and you they yes coach every time you
get the ball you pull down why don't you
run I keep tripping over the lace on my
pants you're wearing the wrong one
foreign
we've still got a chance the game isn't
over all we got to do is get rolling
while the score is only only 65 to
nothing
65 to nothing hey when did we get on
nothing
started with that
now come on man I'm going to play with
this next half and show you something
about football we'll win this game or my
name ain't poison
well here we are folks the score is
meatball 65 flat foot nothing and the
second half is about to begin meatball
is already on the field and here comes
flash Benny and his flat foot team
hey hey let's dessert in the USA flavor
never goes away put it in it's there to
stay
ah listen to those cheers folks there
must be 18 people here today
there's more than that on the team oh go
shoot a pigeon those were ducks foreign
we've got nothing to worry about I'll
call a signal they'll carry the ball and
crash through for a touchdown who me yes
you we're depending on you Dave you're
the best player on the team that gives
you an idea folks
all right men let's go
here we go folks meatballs about to kick
off flat foot's lining up to receive and
there's the whistle
well there's the boat to Catalina
on your toes man well there's my boat
folks so I'll now turn the microphone
over to that famous sports announcer Mr
Raymond Radcliffe thanks Captain hen we
good afternoon ladies and gentlemen this
is Wayman whitecliffe speaking oh fine I
will now just wipe the last period of
this willing football classic
Lefty land field of Meatballs making the
kick
and there goes the ball
where's plenty of flat foot receives a
ball on his own pretty yard wine and is
nailed in his quack
well
I didn't make much gain that time fellas
but how can I with a fur ball your
toupee fell on it oh
all right man this time we'll pull our
famous hidden ball play you know how it
goes the day no I'm a little of it
means that you carry the ball now come
on man line up this is our chance
signals hey Wilson pull in your left
tackle a little you're offside
all right signals Val Fran forget French
hey
it's a colossal play where's bunny grabs
a ball and we weighs her Towers no it's
to Wilson Wilson today Dave grabs the
ball and work at that 401.
run day run day is quashing for the wine
we didn't want look at him one it looks
like he's off for a touchdown he's a
weapon yard from the goal and what's
this he's tackled day is flown on the
free yard wine and he's not doing
oh that poor kid oh my goodness he's out
cold look at him laying there they they
speak to me say something
say something a truck me get the
get those numbers
oh for crying out wow play Phil
here's an unusual dessert friends that's
unusually delicious it's called Hawaiian
Sunburst and the grander looking grander
tasting dessert never decorated the
table picture of brilliant mold of Rich
red raspberry Jello surrounded in a
Sunburst effect by Juicy wedges of
golden Hawaiian pineapple sounds might
have good doesn't it and nothing could
be easier to make simply dissolve a
package of jello imitation raspberry
flavor and one and one half cups of hot
water
then add 1 4 teaspoon of salt and one
half cup of the juice from the canned
pineapple slices
chilled and individual molds and in
serving Circle each mold with a
wedge-shaped piece of canned sliced
pineapple now most Grocers are featuring
canned pineapple and raspberry Jello all
next week so get them both tomorrow and
treat the family to this swell
distinctive dessert just remember to
enjoy this dessert at its best
be sure to use Jello because only
jello's new locked in flavor gives you
all the flavor always
[Music]
this is the last number I mean the last
number of the seventh program in the
current Jello series and we'll be with
you again next Sunday night at the same
time I want to wish all of you a very
Happy Thanksgiving say Mary I'm having a
big Thanksgiving dinner Thursday at my
house would you like to join us who's
coming well it'll be Robert Taylor and
Barbara Stanwick and Clark Gable and
Carol Lombard Mr Mrs Henry Fonda and the
Fred mcmurrays and uh and maybe moey Lee
him you're sure of yeah
good night folks
[Applause]