[Music]
Hello friends and welcome to this day in
Jack Benny I'm John Henderson this
episode is from November 9th 1941.
regular listeners of the Jack Benny
Program would know that Jack Benny's
rival was the comedian Fred Allen
earlier this year he had the manager of
the Brooklyn Dodgers as a guest star in
his program baseball's man of the hour
Leo DeRosa
evening and good evening Mr de Rocha
good evening Fred how long have you been
manager of the Brooklyn team this is my
third season this is confidential is it
true that umpires in Brooklyn ride to
and from the ballpark in Ahmed cars
well nothing an Umpire does would
surprise me I guess not you haven't met
our cheering section have you only over
the air Fred well this is Kenny Baker
Kenny this is Leo durocher hi Leo glad
to know you Kenny say you're a husky kid
I could use you on first base I don't
sing bass I'm a tenor
it gives you an idea of what I'm up
against around here Leo a year before
this Jack Benny was in a movie with Fred
Allen Called Love Thy Neighbor now calm
yourself Jackie don't touch me you
robber and earlier this year Jack Benny
starred in the movie Charlie's Aunt you
can come out now my dears now he was
working on a movie co-starring Carol
Lombard and directed by Ernst lubitch
called to be or not to be
Sunny oh but I think a husband is
entitled to an inkling Carol Lombard was
actually a bigger star than Jack Benny
and would get top billing and her
husband was an even bigger star Clark
Gable and even a guy like this thinks
he's wonderful you'll hear a list of
some of the big names in Hollywood
Marlene Dietrich Margaret Sullivan
Claudette Colbert Greta Garbo Maurice
Chevalier Gary Cooper and George Raft
sister you really had me thinking about
you they also mentioned an older actor
who was a star in silent pictures and
made the transition into Takis known for
his famous profile John Barrymore they
wish to see the barimo profile
that is as much of it as is left
Alexander Corda was a movie producer and
Al Smith was the former New York
Governor peace and prosperity they
mentioned the crooner Bing Crosby
[Music]
and the band leader Jimmy Dorsey
[Music]
and finally they mentioned the stories
of King Arthur and the Knights of the
Round Table and Puss in Boots
in Boots master was astounded when the
old cat pranced into the mill all
dressed up in his shiny black boots with
their red tops
if you enjoyed this program take a
moment to give it a 5 star rating and
review and enjoy the show
[Music]
the jello program brought to you by
Jello and Jello pudding starring Jack
Benny with Mary Livingston Phil Harris
Denisse and yours truly Don Wilson the
orchestra opens a program with free for
all
foreign
[Music]
folks are praising jello's wonderful new
locked in flavor they're finding the
jello six delicious flavors are now more
delicious than ever thanks to jello's
new process of locking the flavor right
into the tiny Jello particles up until
now gelatin desserts lost flavor all the
time they spent in the package Often by
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sometimes the desserts you made with
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but the instant you dissolve the jello
you unlock its Captain flavor and out it
rushes in all its bold thrilling
goodness water strawberry packages of
jello tomorrow the flavor never goes
away we put it in and it's there to stay
[Music]
[Applause]
that was free for all played by the
orchestra and Now ladies and gentlemen
we bring you our versatile Master of
Ceremonies who started work this week on
a new Motion Picture yes sir a man who
has as much at home in front of a camera
as he is before a microphone like you
said I'm versatile say
a man who has a profile like John
Barrymore and have you seen him lately
Jack Penney
uh julo again this is Jack Benny talking
and chubby uh you can rip me uh you can
rip me about it all you want to but it
sure feels good to be making a picture
again I tell you Don that's really my
racket Well Jack I must admit that I do
enjoy you on the screen immensely I
really got a big kick out of your last
picture uh you know the the one you made
with Fred Allen with Alan uh wait a
minute that wasn't my last one Don see I
made Charlie's Aunt after that remember
when I was dressed like a lady oh yes
well to tell you the truth Jack I didn't
get to see that one
you didn't see Charlie's hand
no I meant to but somehow I just didn't
get around to it by the way Jack who's
the director of your current movie is it
someone you've had before or somebody
new
hmm didn't get around to it eh
now look Don I hesitate bringing it up
right now but you've been on this
program eight years and and you know our
rule about not seeing my pictures
so uh so what about it oh yes Jack I
forgot here you are thanks
[Music]
[Laughter]
now I um
I I hate uh
I hate to uh I hate to do this Don but
if I make an exception of you they'll
all expect it you know rules is ruled
anyway answering your question oh here's
your change Don thanks
um answering your question the director
of my latest screen vehicle is none
other than lubitch
Ernst lubitch lubitch well that's
wonderful that's a great break for you
jack it is why certainly you know
there's a saying in Hollywood that
lubitch can even make a Lamppost act
done
any resemblance between me and a
Lamppost is purely coincidental I'm slim
yes but that's all
anyway Donna as I was saying it sure
feels good to be in front of a camera
again right back where I belong uh what
was that oh hello Mary hello uh what was
that you said I was telling Don I'm very
happy I'm right back where I belong oh
selling suits eh
I mean pictures I'm making a movie oh
that's right you haven't sold a suit
since you're working your father's store
in Waukegan of course that's over 20
years ago the one you're wearing held up
nice
Mary one thing about my father's
merchandise it lasted and lasted in fact
dad used to have a slogan buy this suit
and you'll get sick of it
we sold plenty of them that way well
I'll have to admit Jack that outfit
you're wearing is very Snappy certainly
how do you like the pans get a load of
the cups you look like Puss in Boots
my feet get cold I roll them down I can
go along with a gag sister
foreign
instead of coming in here with those
Wise Cracks why don't you congratulate
me on the start of my new picture you
know uh Cara Lombard is my Leading Lady
oh boss come now
I'm not kidding Carol Lombard is my love
interest well I'm Barton Benny hey
that's quite a team have you many
romantic scenes with her Jack yes the
lucky girl imagine
oh look at vagina I make love to her all
day long and then at six o'clock she
drives home to Gable
foreign
but say that Gable is a pretty good
leading uh man himself you know he's no
slouch oh Jack your death is attractive
as women as Clark Gable any day well
hell I wouldn't say that Mary that sweet
of you but Clark is a pretty handsome
guy you know oh you're just being modest
you don't hear women talk about you like
I do Mary stop I I'll admit I'm not
homely but uh but what what do the women
say about me you asked for it brother
never mind
foreign
have to start something don't you always
say Mr Benny I heard you talking before
and you think Carol Lombard is pretty
good looking don't you oh hello Dennis
hello
what was that you said I forgot now
what a brain Dennis you said something
about Cara Lombard being very good
looking oh yes well I go with a girl
that's better looking than any movie
star you ever saw oh you go with a girl
she is well say what's her name Dennis
Thelma gray Crestview 7071
oh well yeah you didn't have to give me
your telephone number I might as well
you'll force it out of me later
now now hold on young man when did I
ever threaten you to get a girl's phone
number remember in New York when you
took me to the top of the Empire State
Building never mind and you held me over
the edge by one leg
thank you
I was just showing Al Smith how strong I
was
anyway you're lucky you didn't go out
with that girl you've still got your
watch
well so much for your love life kid now
how about a song okay I'm gonna send
Tammy back to the Lone Prairie and I
dedicate it to the Palm Springs by
carols who cares a little Squealer
go ahead with your song
Crestview 7071 I must remember that
hold it a minute answer the phone Mary
okay
hello
Jello program why aren't you listening
to us
find out who that is hello hello this is
Barton speaking Belly Laugh Barton
is Grandma there
just a second it's for you Jack it's
that kid you hired for a gag man oh oh
belly yeah oh a hollow belly uh what's
on your mind listen I've got a terrific
gay you can pull on Phil Harris tonight
is he there yet no no what's the gag
well this afternoon I told him to ask
you how many hairs on a monkey face
uh-huh and when he asked you you say the
next time you shave count them oh oh
well now
wait a minute belly that's kind of an
old gag isn't it look you know what
nylon but the younger generation never
heard of it
well uh well maybe you're right belly
are you sure are you sure Phil will ask
me that yeah and when you pull the
answer you'll never know what hit him
yeah he'll really burned thanks kid and
listen I'll call you up after the show
let you know how it went over where can
I reach it Crestview 7071
foreign
[Applause]
hey Billy oh well that's a good dag he
gave me anyway the next time you shave
count them I must remember that thing
Dennis I can hardly wait
[Applause]
[Music]
far away from home foreign
[Music]
with a Long Prairie foreign
[Music]
give me back my God
give me back that wrong
[Music]
let me spread my blind
s
the Cowboys sings
[Music]
oh carry me
back
to the Lone Prairie foreign
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
thank you
[Applause]
very good that was carrying back to the
Lone Prairie sung by Dennis day and
Dennis I must say that your voice is
improving every week no kidding someday
you'll be another Bing Crosby all right
Don Dennis has a voice like Bing Crosby
thanks I'm not talking to you
all right Don Bing Crosby oh Jack this
one is so ridiculous
Don go ahead why don't you do it
yourself you coward I'm not the
announcer now go ahead Don Bing Crosby
oh all right
ladies and gentlemen the next time
you're in the mood for attempting an
economical dessert why don't you go
across B Street to your neighborhood
grocer
yes yes and Bing home a package of jello
hey
there there you are Bing home Jello well
I haven't talked like that since I was
two years old
oh act your size Willow
it happens to be a very clever idea for
a commercial did you think of it
yourself Mr Benny who else that's right
who else
well I like it I think of that kind of
stuff all the time my mind runs that way
I wonder if your father can make a
straight jacket to match those pants
Mary let me analyze it for you
in the first place well look who's here
I'm so glad you were able to make it
tonight Phil sorry I'm late pal but I
was out in the car listening to the
program oh listen to the program eh well
how is it Jackson you need me
all right
[Applause]
well um
well for your information Phil there's
an old Chinese proverb that says Benny
need Harris like apple need worm
and incidentally that glint in my eye is
Jimmy Dorsey
you know I heard him last night ah don't
get excited Jackson that was only a rib
hey what's all this Valley who about you
making a new picture that's right Phil I
started working on it this week well
here I ain't gonna see it thanks
foreign
the picture isn't made yet and already
it's gross ten dollars
but uh
but I uh I must tell Alexander Carter
about that um but I wouldn't jump to a
conclusion Phil you see Carol Lombard is
in it and lubitch is the director not
Ernest lubitch no not Ernest the name is
Ernst
look at his pivot tooth go around
thank you
well if it stops on the red you win
you know I can go along with a gag
believe me say Mr Benny yeah is that the
same Mr lubis that directed Marlene
Dietrich and Margaret Sullivan and
mauricia Valle yes sir and call that
Colbert and Gary Cooper and Greta global
foreign
oh he's not slipping the trouble with
this gang you're all too close to me you
don't realize I'm a good actor say
Jackson how'd you ever land a big
director like that you mean little
Jack held him over the Empire State
Building until he signed the contract
oh stop I hear you talk you think I was
the strongest guy in the world now let's
cut out this nonsense and go on with the
program let's have a number filled
before Miss Livingston dreams up
something else all right what do you
want to hear music but I'll take what I
can get
foreign
now go ahead okay oh by the way Jackson
I want to ask you something yeah yeah
what is it how many hairs on a monkey's
face
well I'll tell you Phil
oh my goodness I forgot the answer
Mary Mary get me belly laugh on the
phone quick the number is Crestview 7071
you didn't forget that you wolf
oh never mind it's too late to pull a
gag now let's see Phil is supposed to
say to me how many hairs on a monkey's
face
I'll take it
hello oh Mr Benny's in Rochester
oh what do you want well this is the
last straw either you get rid of Mr
billingley or I'm going back home to
Arabia
oh don't get so excited what's our
border done now well you know that suit
of armor we got in the hall yes and you
know how it's holding that big spear yes
well I was watching the floor in front
of it just now and the first thing I
knew I took off
oh oh Mr Billingsley is in a day what in
the world is he doing in that suit of
armor this week he's King Arthur
King Arthur yeah better come home early
he's going to hold Court in the dining
room tonight well that's just silly if
you remember the legend King Arthur's
Knight gathered at a round table our
table is square it's round now
foreign
Rochester you know how eccentric Mr
Billingsley is how did he ever get a
hold of us Hall a friend sent it to him
in a local brand
that table is a genuine it say the
corners Rochester I'll think of
something
I'll be home soon so let Mr Billingsley
wear suitable
what was that what happened King Robert
just fell off his horse
horse one horse he's got a saddle on
Carmichael
oh my goodness well look Rochester I'll
be home soon so humor Billingsley
goodbye goodbye oh say boss now what I
finished making those Christmas cards
for Mr lubic all right all right hang up
be alive on boys right under the Santa
Claus I got his name in Big silver
letters Ernest lubitch that's Ernst
Lewis
now do them over how many T's in there
just one it sounds like more now goodbye
want anything done right you gotta do it
yourself all right Phil let's have your
band number okay wait a minute answering
your question Phil the next time you
shave count them I knew I'd think of it
ha
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
laughs
[Music]
thank you
that was Wham bang crash zawi
played by Phil Harris and his orchestra
Phil I've got to say one thing about
your Arrangements you certainly take
care of the brassic now wait a minute
Jackson I got three violins and
abandoned are playing all the time yeah
but who can hear them
another thing two pianas but he got two
piano players for they're Siamese twins
oh I'm sorry I'm sorry and Now ladies
and gentlemen see I didn't know that the
Siamese twins eh didn't you see the
three of us dancing at Charlie's boys
the other night
yes but I thought I was drunk
and Now ladies and gentlemen yeah I
couldn't understand it I only had ginger
ale ladies and gentlemen I would like to
announce that next Sunday we want you
all to listen in because we're going to
present our annual drama of the Gridiron
yes sir we're all going to play football
we're really going to kick it around we
kick it around every Sunday
never mind
and I would also like to announce say
Jackson uh look do you mind if I leave
now I've got a friend waiting for me out
in the hole what well he just got in
town a few days ago and I'm having
dinner with him I'm sorry Phil but your
friend can very well wait till a
program's over that's a fine way to
treat Leo durocha I don't care who Leo
durocha you mean the manager of the
Brooklyn Dodgers yeah he's sitting right
out in the hall well what are you
waiting for bring them in bring them in
sure a guest die for nothing
Mary I just want to say hello I know him
very well bring him in Phil okay
Soho Leo Leo's in town eh say Mr Benny
who's Leo de Rocha I just told you he's
manager of them bum don't you remember
Dennis I bet you five dollars Brooklyn
would win the World Series oh yes how
did that ever come out
tell you later kid hmm well fellas
here's that man well come on in Leo are
you Jackson glad to see you
thank you
hey this is quite a surprise Leo I I
didn't think you'd get in town till next
week uh where are you staying I'm living
over Georgia's house oh Raff say well uh
well why didn't you come over to my
place Leo you'd love it there quiet
surroundings and only 10 minutes from
Hollywood and I've I got a 40-foot
heated swimming pool now I know I got
your folder
foreign
oh well
then what made you pick out rafts please
well you don't understand Jackson I'm
Georgie's guest I'm living there for
nothing oh
oh I see guys like wrath that are
ruining the tourist business
over Heaven's Sake Mary I wanted Leo to
be my guest too I wasn't going to charge
him oh Leo this is Mary Livingston hello
Miss Livingston or may I call you Mary
I've listened to you so often on the
radio I feel I almost know you thanks
see how can such a sweet fellow plug an
Umpire
foreign
it's easy sister
and Leo uh Leo good good Leo
Leo this is Don Wilson our announcer and
Dennis day our young tenor hello fellows
I'm glad to know you Leo see I was
wondering about the World Series Mr
derosha who won the Dodgers or the
Yankees
is that Mick looking for trouble no no
no no no forget her Leo it's a long
story but Leo remember when I saw you
that first game at the Yankee Stadium
and I said to you how does it look kid
and I said we'll moiter him yeah and
then you lost four games out of five
what happened well you can't tell about
those things it's like your radio
program you don't have a good one every
week do you no but we we don't have four
bad ones out of five love Jackson you've
been called bums as often as we have
thank you
oh okay look at I I didn't look at it
quite that way come on Leo let's go
let's get out of here oh wait a minute
Phil I want to talk to him say Leo
didn't I hear you I mean weren't you on
Fred Allen's program a few weeks ago
yeah what a sweet guy I got laughs on
his show get laughs here if you'd read
your lines right
no dad live with me brother I'm pretty
fast on those answers now go on you
don't even know how many hairs on a
monkey's face oh yeah well the next time
I shave I'll count them
all right
wait what am I saying
that was wrong give me that again Leo
come on Leo will you let's go Georgie's
waiting for us across the street at the
tropics come on okay Georgie is raft
having dinner with you two guys yes you
want to join us sure I'll be glad to oh
Don carry on with the show will you
rumor gonna talk to Dennis Mary is here
stick out your stomach and she's good
for three jokes
come on Leo let's go Phil come on
well Leo I'm sure glad you came out to
Hollywood no hard feelings even though I
lost a little door on the Dodgers remind
me I owe Jesse fifty dollars but I want
to tell you something Leo you got a
great ball Club there and next time
you'll be right back in the series I
know I've got a bad idea every time
you'll lose our friends it certainly
does live up to its beautiful name it's
called Hawaiian Sunburst and you've
never seen a dessert that's more
glamorous and attractive just pictures a
shimmering mold of deep Crimson
raspberry Jello surrounded in a Sunburst
effect of shining wedges of golden
Hawaiian pineapple and how easy it is to
make
you just saw the package of jello
imitation raspberry flavor in one and
one half cups of hot water then add 1 4
teaspoon of salt one half cup of the
juice from the can of pineapple slices
Jill and individual moles and in serving
Circle each mold with wedge-shaped
pieces of canned sliced pineapple
plotted the light to the eye and a treat
to the taste so get them both and make
up this lovely luscious dessert But be
sure when you buy to ask for Jello
because only jello's new lock-in process
gives you all the flavor always
we're a little late so good night folks
[Applause]
[Music]
did you know that the folks who make
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chocolate Jello vanilla and Jello
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tomorrow when you order Jello ask for
Jello puddings too Jello puddings are
just like Grandma's only more so this is
the red network of the National
Broadcasting Company