[Music]
hello friends welcome to this day in
jack benny i'm john henderson this
episode is from february 1st 1948
although dennis day was always a young
single kid on the radio show in real
life if you were to pick up a newspaper
you would read that dennis and his new
wife peggy had just been married this
week you'll soon be walking down the
aisle with someone by your side
the bells will ring the choir we'll sing
the groom
also in the newspaper you could read the
latest advice column from dorothy dicks
dear mystics i am 22 years old and in
love with a man six years older than i
am boy i can't wait to read the answer
in sports the usc football team didn't
have a great year and the sc threat dies
as the half ends with michigan leading
21 to nothing in the early 1900s tall
stiff detachable collars were all the
fashion they eventually became known as
hoover collars after former president
herbert hoover
future president dwight eisenhower was
highly regarded at this time as the
general that helped lead the allies to
victory
goodbye man good luck in this episode
they mentioned schlitz beer ask for
the beer that made milwaukee famous
xavier kugat was a band leader
and jerry lester was a comedian well
pretty soon one of us is going to get
careless and it ain't going to be me
those two were part of the floor show of
a nightclub called cyros frequented by
celebrities in fact delana turner called
it her favorite night spot
there was a lot of gossip about lana
turner at the time she was twice
divorced and in the last couple of years
she was engaged to howard hughes dated
tyrone power robert hutton and frank
sinatra when he was separated from his
wife
sinatra himself often visited cyros last
spring he punched a rude columnist which
just added to ciro's reputation for
celebrity brawling
other celebrities included greer garson
clark gable gregory peck
robert taylor and his wife barbara
stanwyck humphrey bogart and his wife
lauren bacall and ronald coleman and his
wife benita ronald coleman could be seen
in the new movie a double life
may not believe in myself but i expect
others to believe in me
i was looking over that old othello
scheme of yours last night you don't
know how good that is
i know some parts give me the willies on
the stage enough
hi desdemona what's the matter that
handkerchief which i so loved and gave
thee thou gave to cassio i never gave
him talk i haven't i saw my handkerchief
in his hand
oh perjured woman that has stoned my
heart and makes me call what i intend to
do a murder which i thought to sacrifice
i saw the handkerchief i found it then i
never gave at him
jack benny's latest movie was the
infamous the horn blows at midnight
don't you worry my angel in the movie
theaters at the time of course there was
no reserved seating you could walk in
and sit anywhere you liked as long as
there was an empty seat and they often
had extra features before the picture
like a travelogue the full glory of the
tropic sun silhouettes the graceful palm
trees on its downward course behind the
glowing sea
[Music]
and weekdays you could hear breakfast in
hollywood with tom brennaman and be
stalled she's 98 years old
well you look swell
and i didn't have a chance to kiss you
when i gave you the orchestra don't kiss
me she doesn't kiss man
[Music]
i think we ought to try on helen's hat
don't you folks
[Music]
oh no wait but it ties under the chin
later in 1960 jack benny reused and
reworked part of this episode for
television
you you know i'm going out tonight now
help me get dressed
this collar is kind of tight
there you are
now how's that feel
[Music]
what happened to your tie it flew out
the window
if you enjoy this podcast and want to
hear more jack benny check out my
patreon just go to thisdaybenny.com
and enjoy the show the jack benny
program presented by lucky striker
front page news in the nation's great
tobacco markets the famous crossley poll
has just finished asking independent
tobacco experts what cigarette do you
smoke over 50 percent more named lucky
strike than any other brand yes by a 50
margin over any other brand independent
tobacco experts name lucky strike first
choice lucky strike first choice these
experts are the independent tobacco
buyers auctioneers and warehousemen the
men who see who buys what tobacco at the
auctions and when independent tobacco
experts like these name lucky strike
first choice for personal smoking
enjoyment then you know lsmft
ls mft lucky strike means fine tobacco
so smoke the smoke tobacco expert smoke
lucky strike remember by a 50 margin
over any other brand independent tobacco
experts name lucky strike first choice
lucky strike first choice
[Music]
the lucky strike program starring jack
benny with mary livingston phil harris
rochester dennis day and yours truly don
wilson
ladies and gentlemen last night was a
big night in hollywood the occasion was
a special showing of ronald coleman's
new picture a double life
naturally all the important stars in
hollywood received invitations to attend
the scala affair and while all this was
going on where was our little star
a rochester hand me my pajamas i'm going
to bed
here you are boys no no no my willing
ones the nights are awfully cold i know
it's cold but you've already got three
comforters two quilts and afghan and
four electric blankets with a direct
line to bowl the dam
never mind just turn out the lights and
i'll go to sleep don't you want me to
read to you like i always do
yes pick up one of those trade papers
either the variety of the reporter okay
now let's see
say boss look what it says fine tonight
at the academy theater there will be a
special showing of ronald coleman's new
universal international picture a double
life i know i know it says all the big
stars in hollywood have been been
invited to attend yeah i know didn't
they mail you an invitation
well
frankly i don't know whether they did or
not i i didn't even bother looking oh
boys come now
why this morning when the mailman came
by you grabbed his bag and went through
it like an octopus with a mix master in
each hand
i was looking for a reply from dorothy
dicks
anyway who wants to go to a hollywood
premiere you always see the same people
barbara stanwick will be there with
robert taylor lauren mccall will be
there with humphrey bogart lana turner
will be there with
let me see today's paper
anyway
rochester believe me i'm not mad because
i didn't get an invitation to the
preview as a matter of fact if universal
studios if william gets the executive
producer if ronald coleman himself
called me on the phone right now i
wouldn't go to that i'll get a rochester
i'll get it
hello
is this sam's meat market no it isn't
who was it boys oh some guy wanted sam's
meat market sass meat market that's the
new place down the corner they're having
a big opening tonight they are didn't
you get an invitation to that either
i wouldn't go if i did you always see
the same things yeah
liberal be there with bacon sirloin will
be there i'll cut that out
now rochester i'm going to bed so turn
out the light will you you'll get it
boss you'll get it i've got it
hello hello jack this is mary hello mary
i'm glad i caught you i thought maybe
you're already left to see ronald
coleman's picture uh no mary i was
supposed to go but i don't know when
you've been a star as long as i have you
you don't get excited about those things
you know gee and i thought we could go
together no no mary i'm ready for bed oh
that's too bad i have two tickets what
what
mary just because you got tickets you
don't have to be so nervous about it
look i was ready for bed but i wouldn't
let you down so while i get dressed you
jump in a cab and pick me up in 10
minutes okay jack i may be a few minutes
later i want to stop off at the floors
and get a coarse eye good good
while you're there get one for yourself
i mean come over as soon as you can
goodbye
rochester rochester i'm going to the
opening i knew sam wouldn't let you down
not the meat mark now stop jabbering and
help me dress jackson the door was open
so i came right in oh hello phil where
you going oh i promise mary i take her
to a special showing of ronald coleman's
new picture no kidding jackson you mean
you got an invitation i certainly did
that's why i'm putting on this tuxedo
you may not know it phil but for the
past 20 years i've been rubbing elbows
with the most important people in show
business from the looks of them sleeves
you must have been rubbing them pretty
hard
all right so it's a little thin around
the elbows now pardon me while i get
dressed i'll help you jackson while
you're putting on your shirt i'll button
your shoes
thanks bill or rochester hand me my wing
collar will you please yes sir
uh-oh what's the matter you wear a size
15 and a half car and there's only a 14.
oh that's all right we can make it work
put it on okay
here's the collar button yeah i got it
now hold still
boy this collar is really stiff yeah
just a minute now
there i got it
how's that boss i i guess it's all right
but it's
so tight i can hide
no darn it slipped off the collar button
now try it again rochester boss this car
is too tight for you well pull it harder
i'm getting it
get hold still
there guys collar so tight i can hardly
breathe
phil how do i look like herbert hoover
with a crew haircut
don't be so funny
oh there's mary now all i have to do is
snap on this bow tie and i'll be on my
way
there it goes again rochester where's my
bow tie it went out the window and
headed for capistrano
well get me another one
coming mary coming phil can i drop you
off anyplace no jackson i'll stay here
i'm a little hungry rochester get me an
olive in the glass
okay phil make yourself at home will you
[Applause]
[Music]
say mary don't look now but ever since
we've been riding in this cab there's
been a moving van following us i know
what so many times i've gone to the
theater and found out i left the tickets
on the piano so this time i'm taking the
piano with me
say
you know mary that's a go quiet you fall
for everything
i've got the tickets right here
and the invitations too let me see
universal international cordially
invites you to attend a special showing
of a double life starring ronald coleman
say gee gee really beautiful invitations
here folks academy theater come on mary
how much is that driver a dollar sixty
jack what happened nothing nothing here
you are driver keep the chain thanks
jack picture collar i'm trying to but
i've lost my bow tie no you haven't
they've got the searchlight on it'll be
down in a minute
oh yes here it comes there i got it oh
no that's the one that was headed for
capistrano
here it is fix my collar
come on mary let's go in gosh look look
all of us big stars are here come on
hurry hold your own invitations please
you spectators stand back let them in
how do you do mr gable
good evening mr taylor
how are you mr peck
how do you do miss livingston
i told you spectators to stand i'm with
her
oh well then go right in mister
mister
he doesn't even know i'm jack benny well
don't tell him have something to look
forward to
what come on jack hurry the lights are
starting to dim okay
hey mary here are two seats here right
in this row a little more than halfway
in follow me
pardon me pardon me pardon me pardon me
pardon me pardon me
pardon me
oh darn it there's only one seed
we'll have to go back pardon me pardon
me
pardon me pardon me pardon me pardon me
chad come back you went out the exit
oh yes here we are mary here are two
seats on the aisle good
gee jack we just made it the travelogue
is coming on oh yes as the sun comes up
over the famous diamond head in honolulu
we pay another visit to that land of
enchantment resting far out in the blue
pacific
the hawaiian islands
well jack jack huh it's me don wilson oh
hello don i didn't see you sitting
behind me who are you with your quartet
the sportsman oh good good
and now let us pay a brief visit to one
of the lesser-known islands where we
find chief human nucando i and his
people doing their native dance
[Music]
gee this is good isn't it jack jack dan
i want to see this travel off
quiet back there yes dawn quiet you're
disturbing the people jack what a
coincidence the quartet has a commercial
worked out that fits to the music
they're playing all right all right but
don not now we're in a theater not now
now good done go ahead fellas very
softly don don we're in the theater
i can't hear them
you can't do this
make the boys be quiet
[Music]
why
quality of product is essential to
continuing success
lucky company
wait a minute
wow
[Applause]
[Music]
and now amid the rays of the setting sun
it's with heavy heart that we say
goodbye to hawaii home of the pineapple
where everybody is on the dole
oh
why do you like that he must be a friend
of phil harris
[Music]
hey mary mary here comes the feature
picture yeah look ronald coleman in a
double life
[Music]
gee what a crowd hurry jack it will
never get out to the lobby okay gosh
mary that was one of the best pictures i
ever saw yes and it was such an
appropriate title a double life yeah it
really fit mr coleman was perfect at the
broadway star who was afraid to play
othello
well
oh fine i suppose you could have played
othello better than ronald coleman no
mary i don't think the people would like
me and ronnie's part in the picture but
then on the other hand do you think the
public would have liked coleman and the
horn blows at midnight
they wouldn't have liked that picture
with eisenhower in it
i guess not say mary mary isn't that mr
mrs coleman over there ronnie and bonita
where there just coming out of the
theater
oh say ronnie ronnie what is it bonita
say isn't that jack benny over there
well
all for the love let's hurry benita
perhaps he hasn't seen
us i think he has he's coming towards us
well i've got an idea so he won't
recognize me ronnie ronnie stop what are
you doing with my hand he's going to
wear it maybe he'll think i'm tom
brennaman
yeah but then you'll have to kiss him
anyway let's try and get rid of him
quickly i want to go to cyrus and
celebrate all right but don't create a
scene be pleasant to him and perhaps
he'll go away yes you tell me the same
thing about your mother and she's been
with us for 20 years
well ronnie bonita how are you hello
jack hello mary hello bonita say ronnie
your picture was simply wonderful thank
you jack glad you liked it like it you
know what ronnie watching your
performance this evening was one of the
most enjoyable experiences i've ever had
oh
well not only is a double life a great
picture but your acting was the finest
i've ever seen on the stage or screen
oh no now mary
gee you were absolutely brilliant as a
fella and when you played yourself you
were so suave and so handsome
well
mary stop you're embarrassing him benita
you keep out of this
[Music]
you know ronnie
my favorite scene in the whole picture
was when you as a fellow accused your
wife desdemona of being unfaithful
because you saw another man carrying her
handkerchief oh you mean the speech when
i said
by heaven i saw the handkerchief in his
hand
oh perjured woman louder stoned my heart
and makes me call what i intended to a
murder which i thought a sacrifice i saw
the handkerchief yes yes that's a speech
i mean only ronnie
if i were playing the part
i believe i would have done it something
like this
i heaven
i saw the handkerchief in his hand
oh perfect woman
understone my heart and makes me recall
what i intend to do
a murder
[Music]
which i thought of sacrifice i saw
the hanky
there how did that sound
wonderful phil harris couldn't have read
it better
he couldn't have read it at all
but ronnie how can you say that let's
get the depth of that last line
i saw
[Music]
there goes my collar again where's my
bow tie i swallowed it
no no here it is on the sidewalk excuse
me a minute
where's my collar button i knew i
swallowed something
well i got another one here in my best
pocket oh say ronnie ronnie if you don't
mind my talking about your picture again
not at all not at all well i've seen you
in a lot of pictures and i thought that
in this one you were
you were thank you no no let me finish
let me pin it
i uh i thought that you were miscast
oh
so you
you thought i was miscast yes you see in
the picture they have you turn killer
and commit murder and ronnie in real
life i mean you you couldn't possibly
murder anybody
oh
i don't know
[Applause]
huh well it's getting late we better be
running along
no no you can't go home yet this is the
opening of ronnie's new picture a night
like this calls for a celebration i know
let's all go over to my house and play
the slot machine
no thanks benita and i are going to
zeros goodbye wait a minute uh jack it's
getting kind of late maybe we ought to
go home mary we can't run off and leave
the colemans they'll think i'm snubbing
them
no now we'll all go to cyril's come on
come on everybody oh taxi
taxi
look jack we can't all get into one taxi
they're a part of us okay you folks take
this cab mary and i'll take the next one
see your cirros
anita what a fool i was to let benny
know where we were going oh what's the
difference darling and then he wouldn't
marry such a nice girl oh i'm nothing
against her i like mary it's that benny
i can't stand
lately it seems that everywhere i go i
run into him it happens to me too
last thursday afternoon i saw him at
greer garson's
the tea party for women yes he had a
shawl over his head and came around to
sell our fortune
no
then he took his ball in played golden
earrings and passed around a tambourine
you mean benny himself past the
tambourine yes
well that's too bad his monkey must have
died
look darling let's forget about him
let's talk about us about us hmm
you know i didn't have a chance to tell
you how much i enjoy double life
i think it is the finest picture you've
ever made well thank you very much don
you know i'm your severest critic
i think your performance in that picture
was magnificent well you you're
wonderful oh
and ronnie yes
i bought a new fur coat
what did you say dear i said i thought
your performance in the picture here we
are zero
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
you're certainly lucky to get this
ringside table yes i hear they have a
wonderful floor show it was nice we all
arrived together no one was kept waiting
yes yes it was wasn't it say jack it's
kind of chilly in here will you please
get me my coat certainly mary what about
you benita is your cold checked no it's
persian lamb
that's rather good bonita i know i heard
it on fred allen's program
say how about ordering our food so we'll
be up through eating when the floor show
starts all right i'll call the waiter oh
wait wait
wait up i have a shrimp cocktail filling
in your rare and asparagus a very good
medaille i'll have a caesar salad
lobster olive newberg and broccoli yes
madam i think i have some consummate
prime ribs of beef medium rare and a
baked potato yes sir
and now what about you shoulder
[Music]
well i'll
i'll have uh potassium
[Music]
never mind the comment just bring what i
ordered
say jack when did you start eating
french food since they'd evaluated the
prank
mary
would you like something to drink with
your dinner we have some wonderful
vintage champagne moms 37 caught always
33 and piper hyde6 35. uh make mine
schlitz 47.
that uh that was a good year wasn't it
not for usc
look i never
never mind the wise crash
you you ought to pay a little more
attention to your job some waiter look
at this tablecloth in the napkins i've
never seen such dirty linen well you do
them for us
that's besides the point i've never seen
such a rude and pertinent waiter i got a
good money stop raising your voice to me
what nobody asked you to come in here in
the first place you spoiled my whole
evening
that's the last strong how about you and
me stepping outside this is zeroes we
can do it right here
look waiter
just go get our orders oh all right
ronnie
you can come out from under the table
people have stopped faring
[Music]
well now let us all have a pleasant
evening come on let's eat drink and be
merry
[Music]
well that was really a delicious dinner
did you enjoy yours ronnie yeah i
certainly did uh wait uh give me the
check please oh no no no ronnie this is
uh this is my little party but after all
jack we're celebrating my new picture i
don't care waiter don't listen to him uh
give me the chat all right but you'll
hate yourself in the morning
[Music]
never mind give it to me
thank you hey ronnie this is the first
time i've ever seen jack pick up a check
i wonder what happened somebody must
have spiked his slits
a waiter give me your pencil i want to
check these items
now let's see
you know this really has been a grand
evening yes the floor show is wonderful
and cool guys music is so exciting and
it's jerry lester such a funny comedian
and the atmosphere is nice and cold
please would you all be quiet i'm going
over the
[Music]
check now let's see
shrimp cocktail a dollar
consummate 85 cents
caesar salad a dollar and a quarter
filet mignon whoops
lobster
[Music]
ronnie
ronnie did you have an extra cup of
coffee
no jack i had milk well where did this
extra cup of coffee come from waiter you
ordered it i didn't order it and i want
to take it off the bill
jack please now you keep out of this
mary waiter i'm not going to pay for
this extra cup of coffee i want it no
jack jack let me pay the check no no
ronnie this is my party this is my party
now look waiter i don't mind paying for
what we got but i know that no one here
had an extra cup of coffee oh jack for
heaven's sake i'll have this build
corrected immediately ronnie the
orchestra's playing let's dance our way
out the back door all right we need to
come quick hurry up now what about it
waiter you ordered the coffee and you'll
pay for it i ordered it but i changed my
mind and you took it back did you see me
leave the table with it yes by heaven i
saw the coffee in your hand
oh perjured waiter without a stone my
heart and makes me tall what i intend to
do a murder will wish i thought of
sacrifice i saw
the coffee
there goes my power
jack will be back in just a minute but
first here's basil risedale by a 50
margin over any other brand independent
tobacco experts named lucky strike first
choice lucky strike first choice
back of that statement is an impartial
crosley poll just completed in 11
southern tobacco states this famous
authentic research group reveals that
when independent tobacco experts choose
a cigarette for their own personal
smoking enjoyment over 50 percent more
named lucky strike than any other brand
yes by a 50 margin over any other brand
independent tobacco experts name lucky
strike first choice these are the
tobacco experts the independent buyers
auctioneers and warehousemen who buy
sell and handle tobacco at the auctions
men like mr sydney t curran tobacco
warehouseman of oxford north carolina
who recently said at auction after
auction i've seen the makers of lucky
strike by fine tobacco that smokes up
mild cool and fragrant i've smoked luck
as myself for 26 years so for your own
real deep down smoking enjoyment
remember ls mft ls mft lucky strike
means fine tobacco so round so firm so
fully packed so free and easy on the
draw so smoke the smoke tobacco expert
smoke remember by a 50 margin over any
other brand independent tobacco experts
named lucky strike first choice lucky
strike first choice
ladies and gentlemen i want to thank mr
mr ronald coleman for being with us
tonight and to dennis day my best wishes
and congratulations good night folks
this is nbc the national broadcasting
company