[Music]
Hello friends welcome to this day in
Jack Benny I'm John Henderson this
episode is from January 27
1946. all of the entries for the I can't
stand Jack Benny contest are in to be
judged by rival comedian Fred Allen you
know me I'm Fred Allen are you in
trouble am I in trouble all week I've
been in more hot water than a slice of
lemon in a Russian Tea Room
Bob Hope was another comedian on the
radio
[Applause]
this is still two decades before the
moon landing the Army engineers at their
laboratory in Belmar New Jersey Banks of
instrument panels control a radar
installation that gives man his first
actual contact with the moon the radar
antenna is pointed directly at Luna and
the thrill of a lifetime is in the
making
World War II was over but the rebuilding
was only beginning for the millions of
families who lost their homes and their
belongings in war-torn countries around
the globe if you if you haven't already
done so check over your wardrobes and
get together all the clothing you can
spare for the victory clothing
collection because of the war and the
labor strikes that followed there was a
meat shortage in the United States empty
Stockyard pens result of a nationwide
packing strike bring government action
to avert a crisis and meet here in the
mid-20th century it was typically
expected that the man would treat a
woman on a date pay for her tickets food
or any other expenses if they did each
pay for themselves that was known as
going Dutch or Dutch treat this was also
a time when people were still traveling
by train and they mentioned the Train
song Atchison Topeka and the Santa Fe do
you hear that whistle down a line I
figure that it's engine number 49 she's
the only one little sound that way only
at your Center Peak and the Santa Fe
[Music]
Phil Harris the band leader was married
to the movie actress Alice Faye let's
not miss any of the little things that
make of you a happy life in this episode
they mention a very young movie actress
Margaret O'Brien I don't feel like
playing anymore I want to go home Boris
Karloff was known for playing devious
characters and monsters in the Universal
monster movies you'll never get rid of
me that way one high-profile horror
movie at the time was called The Picture
of Dorian Gray for the Mad wish of
Dorian great was granted through some
Supernatural miracle and day by day he
watched his sins etched themselves upon
his painted portrait while he himself
stayed young and handsome and finally
they mentioned the movie The Lost
weekend another drink another binge
another Bender another spree if you'd
like to contact me you can find me on
Twitter at this day Benny or check out
this daybenny.com and enjoy the show The
Jack Benny Program presented by Lucky
Strike
LS mft LS mft
lsmft yes sir that's it right you are
lucky strike means fine tobacco so round
so firm so fully packed so free and easy
on the draw
[Music]
ing Jack Benny with Barry Livingston
Phil Harris Rochester Larry Stevens and
yours truly Don Wilson
foreign
today is January 27th the day that the
winners of the I can't stand Jack Benny
contest will be announced last night
people all over the country went to bed
wondering if they would win part of the
ten thousand dollars so let's go back to
last night to the home of the man who is
going to give away all that money
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
I don't know why I let myself get into
this
it's a lot of dough
it's got to be some way to get out of it
I wonder if I go boss
I could go to Mexico
no that's too close
say I've got it boss if you're thinking
what I think you are it's impossible
impossible what do you mean they can
only send me
Rochester I'm not running away
I'm just thinking about uh uh my next
Summer's vacation then why did you pack
your
best no I just threw some old clothes in
those suitcases to send to the people in
Europe
oh but the one you're saying the Francis
addressed to appear family
that goes to an uncle of mine in Paris
now forget it okay okay but look it's
only ten thousand dollars why do you
want to run away to Paris look Rochester
no use hiding those swords boys they'll
find you
Rochester cut that out I told you I'm
not going anywhere all I know
I know is the phone this morning a man
said this is the actress that
look Mr Jones if you're a ban Jones
rather if you're insinuating then I'm
worried giving away the ten thousand
dollars you're sadly mistaken the
letters of the contest have all been
read the winners will be announced as
far as I'm concerned I'm not even
thinking about the money now it's
getting late so I'm going to bed
my watch is slow what time you got boss
ten thousand dollars I mean ten thousand
o'clock ten thousand now stop confusing
me I'm going up to bed oh my good night
good night and Rochester don't put the
cat out tonight
but this meat shortage you can't tell
what will happen
well
good night Rochester good night
all right
foreign
[Music]
[Applause]
foreign
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
did that scream frighten you bruises no
Caesar let's get at him again
all right but let's not frighten him to
death because then he'll be one of us
and I can't stand him
your Jack Benny the man that nobody can
stand
stop laughing at me nobody likes you and
you know it
foreign
[Laughter]
why can't I get laughs like that on my
program
[Music]
patient you've only been on 14 years not
for many do you hear stop we don't have
to torment you
tomorrow you have to give away all that
money and if you don't do you know what
they're going to do to you they're going
to tie you to a post throw branches
around it cover you with gasoline and
then take your two old tired up legs and
rub them together
and then they're going to tie into a
horse and drag you all over there
pause pause huh
oh
well I'm glad you came Rochester
just had an awful dream
I dreamed Rochester what are you doing
with your suitcase I have the same dream
and I'm
an uncle thanks for your loyalty and
take off that Beret we're not going to
Paris
yes ladies and gentlemen that's what
happened last night and now to get on
with the show here's Larry Stevens to
sing Symphony
foreign
[Applause]
[Music]
Symphony
[Music]
Of Love music from above how does it
start
s
and the song begins
[Music]
you start in my heart
when you speak a Melody seems dry
Ness
and it softly
dies Symphony
[Music]
sing to me
[Music]
and it's clear to me
you when you're near to me you are my
Symphony
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
and it's clear to me
when you're new to me you are my
Symphony
my Symphony
[Music]
very good Larry very good that was Larry
Stevens okay Don okay I'm here I'll take
over now that was Larry Stephen singing
Symphony
and Now ladies and gentlemen the big ham
what
what'd you say Don I said I love spam
foreign
and now get a load of diet Smith Wilson
and now
[Music]
get around here they have to have a good
excuse Mary's right Jackson you're late
well I couldn't help but I was so tired
I didn't get much sleep I tossed and
turned all night oh that happens every
time Margaret O'Brien Beach at hopscotch
[Music]
what are you talking about I beat her
three out of five
it was something else that upset me say
Jackson it couldn't be by a slight
coincidence that you didn't sleep last
night because today you have to give
away ten thousand dollars could it
little man see
what ten thousand dollars the contest
money you know oh that I forgot about it
forgot about it when Phil Phil mentioned
that yourself
I gotta do it all over again
I'll take the first line I forgot about
it
forgot about it when Phil mentioned that
your face turned white your lips turned
blue and your stomach turned over
[Music]
it's going over
[Laughter]
Mary
and the way your Adam's Apple popped out
I thought it was going to announce the
time not the time announce the time all
right why shouldn't I be upset bad
enough giving away all that dough
without having a guy like Fred Allen
tell me what to who to give a dude what
a judge Well Jack I think Fred Allen's a
great judge of humor you do it well I'll
say one thing his program has helped the
Good Neighbor policy help the Good
Neighbor policy how well when Allen's
program comes on the air so many radios
start clicking off that South America
thinks we've taken up the cast to net
[Music]
foreign
[Music]
but now that you're here let's cut out
this silly stuff and announce the
winners of the content Mary I don't know
who the winners are and I won't know
until Steve Bradley my press agent gets
here I think I'll call his house and see
what's keeping him
Mr Benny's line is flashing yeah I
wonder what Dory and gray want now
foreign
yes Mr Benny
Steve Bradley at Crestview 67071
huh
I'm sorry Mr Benny but on local calls we
can't reverse the charges
[Music]
call you back when I get the number what
did he want great food he wanted I
should get him a number okay Goku did
you enter Mr Benny's contest well I
almost did you see I started to write in
50 words why I can't stand Jack Benny
and by the time I finish writing I sold
it to Universal and they're making a
picture out of it
a lot
what a character that Benny is ain't it
the truth I'll never forget the first
time I went out with him we were sitting
in the park in the Moonlight holding
hands and suddenly he whispered in my
ear and asked me for a lock of my hair
gosh how romantic romantic nothing he
made a toupee out of it
slap saddle
foreign
[Music]
sure I did and she I'll never forget our
birthday he showed up wearing a pair of
wooden shoes wooden shoes yeah when he
says Dutch treaty ain't kidding
[Music]
said it you know go to one day Mr Benny
asked me if I'd like to be on his radio
program he did yeah he wanted to put me
in pictures too but that's an old gig
no it ain't Mr Benny has a lot of
influence he got me a part in that
picture last weekend well it's weekend
what did you do in it I stuck the labels
on the bottles
gee guys when I saw the picture but I
didn't see you I know after the first
day they fired me and hired a wet sponge
what a career
Operator Operator oh Gertrude you get Mr
Bradley for me oh he doesn't answer all
right we'll keep trying what happened
Jack I don't know Bradley isn't home I
wonder if he could be it
oh there's the telephone correct now did
I just try for eight dollars what I have
a lady in the balcony doctor asked her
if she got a friend now cut that off
everybody wants to be a comedian
I don't know why it is but every time
you say something or else
hey that must be Steve Bradley
hello hello it's my daddy there your
daddy oh this is Phil Harris a little
girl how are you honey this is Mr Benny
hello Mr Benny are you really going to
announce the winners of your contest
tonight that's right oh goody I can sure
use the money
oh oh
you said in a letter I said in 25
letters 25 my goodness how did you think
up so many things well one night Mommy
and Daddy had some people over dinner
uh-huh your name is mentioned and I
wrote down everything they said
foreign
well you take never mind honey I can
talk to your daddy now fail your little
girls on the phone okay and you told me
that you and your friends have been
talking about me oh
hello baby hello Daddy now just a minute
sweetheart I want to tell you something
what don't ever tell people things that
happen at home especially Mr Benny I
might get fired but Daddy you said that
after mommy made two more pictures you
were going to quit anyway
foreign
now what are you laughing about honey
I'll bet Mr Benny would sure be mad if I
told him what he did last Tuesday night
Tuesday night what did I do you listened
to
b-o-b-h-o-p-e look baby and you laugh
too not so loud
oh honey you'll get me in trouble you're
taking the bread and butter right out of
your own little mouth
now what did you call me for well Daddy
we left home today without giving me my
arithmetic
your arithmetic lesson oh yeah oh that
that's right well look baby I'm sorry
look I'll give it to you right now over
the phone have you got a paper and
pencil all right now listen and we'll do
it together
[Music]
keep the numbers going now the song is
done Love Will Keep on growing
and we'll have lots of fun
78c you're my Daisy 89 Z8
90 candy start again onesie Tuesday I
love using you're my whatnot you're my
hot chocolate
foreign
[Applause]
that's all I got time for now bye baby
say Phil that's a catchy little song
what is it well it's brand new Jackson
it's written by Dave Franklin and Irving
Taylor it's never been on the air before
well it's pretty cute hey Don come here
let you and I try it okay go ahead Phil
fell play it you you started now I'm
good
one Z two Z I'm so choosy two Z three Z
Free and Easy Freezy for the
off let's keep smoking lucky for
[Music]
z5z6c a blend that clicks the 6c7c
tastes like Heaven's age let's keep
smoking lucky
every lucky user sings their praises
through in Anaheim and Azusa and
kookamanga
78c they're just great C 1890 they're so
fine these names the tenzie take it
again z l s m f t z
ah
that's what you know anybody can make up
words to that song you know a better
number like this is liable
hello hello both of you giving away the
prize money yet no why one Z two Z no
time to lose two three Z listen to me
easy
7z8c better not wait see let's get going
for Paris
wow the first time I first time I ever
knew Rochester listen to my program uh
maybe he read that fine print in his
contract yeah
anyway that's a cute song I bet it'll be
a hit I can't wait till I get home
tonight to learn it on my violin oh no
no Jackson let it live it's so young
bill when I learned a number on my
violin it always
come in
[Applause]
I don't have no seat
um
well it's about time you got here Steve
I've been trying to get you on the phone
what took you so long
I'm excited about it with my new
publicity it's not for you I just signed
an airplane in the pilot to write your
name all over the sky but I ran into
little trouble with him stay sitting to
hear the names of the contest winner
Johnson had a long talk with him did he
mention any names ready he called you a
dirty nope I mean the name
Jack has to pay the money too Mary if I
can wait you can too that's the silliest
thing I ever heard in all my 37 years oh
for goodness sake now come on all right
I guess you're all pretty anxious so I
won't keep you I'll get it
oh my goodness
oh hello Mabel but Mabel I'm not a beat
I didn't mean to make good cry
but when she comes back tell her to call
him
she starts crying her mother was the
same way
go ahead Steve
but you're gonna hear them announce by
the final judge himself The Honorable
Fred Allen what take it away this is
Fred Allen in New York I know you've all
been waiting for the winners of the I
can't stand Jack Benny contest so here
they are the first prize wake up Mr
Benny this isn't a dream now the first
prize twenty five hundred dollars in
victory bonds goes to Mr Carol p Craig
senior
735 Radcliffe Avenue Pacific Palisades
California the second prize fifteen
hundred dollars in victory bonds goes to
Mr Charles S Doherty Hotel Bolton Square
Cleveland 6 Ohio the third prize a one
thousand dollar Victory Bond goes to
miss Joyce O'Hara 1014 Dragoon Avenue
Detroit 9 Michigan the additional 50
winners of The 100 bonds will be
notified by Telegram and the bond sent
registered mail P.S if Mr Benny should
deliver any of these telegrams
personally please tip him generously
ladies and gentlemen he's been through
terrible ordeal I am happy to say good
night folks your father's mustache
well the contest is over and you want to
know something Mary I don't feel bad at
all I feel like I've got something off
my chest or maybe it's your money belt
maybe plays Bill
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen if you haven't
already done so check over your
wardrobes and get together all the
clothing you can spare for the victory
clothing collection both summer and
winter clothing is needed also shoes and
bedding for the millions of families who
lost their homes and their belongings
everything they owned in war-torn
countries around the globe these people
are in great need and every one of us
can find useful articles that we can
contribute the drive ends Thursday so
pack up your bundle right away and take
it to your post office fire station or
police station thank you
[Applause]
American Lucky Strike means fine tobacco
so round so firm so fully packed so free
and easy on the draw here's what Mr C.W
Jenkins independent tobacco warehouseman
of Bowling Green Kentucky said anyone
who knows to backup will tell you that
you can't have a good cigarette unless
good tobacco goes into it season after
season at the auctions I've seen Lucky
Strike by quality leaf tobacco that
means a mild and better tasting smoke
I've smoked luck is for 24 years quote
season after season I've seen Lucky
Strike by quality Leaf unquote yes in a
cigarette it's the tobacco that counts
and Lucky Strike means flying tobacco
surround so firm so fully packed so free
and easy on the draw the famous tobacco
auctioneers heard on tonight's
programmer Mr Effie Boone of Lexington
Kentucky
[Music]
speed Rigs of Goldsboro North Carolina
strike
LS mft LS mft
l-smft There's real deep down smoking
enjoyment for you in Lucky Strike for
Lucky Strike means firing tobacco yes
Lucky Strike means fine tobacco
ladies and gentlemen next Sunday we're
going to have as our guest Mr and Mrs
Ronald Coleman and one of the world's
greatest violinists Isaac Stern now that
the first three winners of the contest
have been announced I would like to
announce as many of the names of the 100
Bond winners as time will allow
first Helena Williams 1809 West Sherman
Phoenix Arizona Miss Ruth Payne 909
Chester Avenue Topeka Kansas Mrs Dorothy
Pickering 28 Soundview Drive Greenwich
Connecticut
[Music]
3311 Northeast 19th Avenue Portland
Oregon Mary E Fleck 208 North Princeton
Avenue Fullerton California e amale 401
North Piedmont Street Arlington Virginia
Paris V Patel 27 South 1st Street
Bergenfield New Jersey
Philip H Clark 1524
Osage Avenue Bartonsville Oklahoma Mrs
Florence Livingston well Jamestown Texas
mg well that's all we have time for but
you'll all get your telegrams and your
bonds thank you very very much
this is NBC The National Broadcasting
Company