[Music]
hello friends welcome to this day in
jack benny i'm john henderson this
episode is from january 17
1943. the united states government
recently began imposing a wage ceiling
in hopes of stabilizing inflation during
the war
overseas many soldiers were given
benzadrine an amphetamine stimulant used
to keep them awake or alert benzedrine
was also available over the counter at
drugstores this was before they were
aware of many of the risks at this time
phil harris and his band were in the
merchant marines and the show had
various band leaders filling in this
week it's abe lyman meanwhile dennis day
could be seen in the movie the powers
girl pal hey
jack benny was getting ready for a big
event the same night he was playing
violin for charity at carnegie hall the
benefit would be attended by some 3000
people in support of polio research and
would feature a number of entertainers
including marjorie lawrence
[Music]
your millionaire
[Music]
john charles thomas
and serious violinist isaac stern like
yasha heifetz he was one of the great
classical violinists of the day
[Music]
jack benny's violin slash comedy would
be backed by pianist
personality oscar levant
[Music]
at this event jack would play his
signature number love and bloom
in addition to his piano playing oscar
levant was an occasional guest on the
game show information please
wake up america time to stump the
experts information please a quartet of
experts is on hand to answer your
questions and now our master of
ceremonies clifton federen approximately
when do the following come to america
and from where did they come get two out
of three the first is the potato it went
back to ireland in it and then went to
iowa and then went on a pullman train
it's had quite a career but it does not
come as many people think from ireland
it was introduced into ireland how about
the horse
um
mr levine from arabia what does it
the ones i lost money on came from
arabia
another information please regular over
the years was jack benny's nemesis fred
allen mr ellen one of your friends has
sent this one in
i didn't know i had one
well we call them that
uh this comes from mr kenny baker the
well-known tenor of darien connecticut
was it in writing
fred allen's real name was john florence
sullivan but like jack benny he changed
it for show business jack benny's real
name was benjamin kabelski he didn't
really have a middle name although in
vaudeville posters declared that
laughter was jack benny's middle name
in the episode they list off some operas
aida faust lohan grin and tanhauser
this episode also features comedian joe
besser at the time he was part of the
cast of olson and johnson's sons of fun
on broadway he would also go on to
become one of the three stooges in the
late 50s
i can't see i can't see why can't you
see i got my eyes closed
oh come on
if you can't get enough jack benny you
might want to consider becoming a patron
you'll get bonus episodes every month
find out more at thisdaybenny.com
slash patreon and enjoy the show the
great snack plate program coming to you
from new york city where we're playing
to an audience of men only from the
armed services and starring jack benny
with mary livingston dennis day
rochester you're truly don wilson and
our guest conductor abe lyman
[Music]
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foreign
and now ladies and gentlemen for the
most fantastic introduction of the year
fantastic i bring you a famous concert
violinist who is making his debut this
evening at carnegie hall
jack benny
thank you thank you thank you hello
again this is jack joshua benny talking
and folks i'm as nervous as a pizzicato
and don that's the truth i am playing my
violin at carnegie hall tonight but jack
it's so fantastic will you stop saying
that
this is a benefit for the infantile
paralysis fund and i'm appearing as a
soloist on the same program with gladys
swarthout isaac stern marjorie lawrence
john charles and thomas
and um
that's john charles thomas it's one man
it is because i i said all three of them
christmas cards
anyway they're uh they're going to be a
lot more prominent artists there
including oscar levant he's going to be
my accompanist i expect him to drop by
and pick me up well jack aren't you just
a bit nervous appearing with so many
musical celebrities no why should i be
nervous we all get along fine i'm very
nice to them and they don't speak to me
that is all but gladys uh gladys she
thinks my playing is marvelous ladder
swarthout no gladys jones her maid
she's a cousin of rochester
oh hello mary hello jack why don't you
grow up
mary what do you mean why don't i grow
up well i passed carnegie hall just now
and what's the idea of writing your name
on all the posters i didn't write my
name it's printed you know i'm uh making
my debut there tonight gee where's just
think my first appearance on the concert
stage gosh
too bad my old violin teacher can't be
there too bad he shot himself during
your fifth lesson
yeah i'll never forget that afternoon i
was right in the middle of da da da da
da da
and i have five more lessons coming
by the way mary you're attending the
concert tonight aren't you uh who else
is appearing well there's gladys jones i
mean swap out
isaac stern john charles thomas john
charles thomas you know jack that always
sounds funny to me a man with three
first names yup john charles thomas
incidentally it's not commonly known but
i have three first names too that's
right jack jerk benny
that's jack john benny and speaking of
unusual names oh say don yes jack come
here a minute this will tell you
what do you think this will positively
amaze you but it's the truth you know
what do you think fred allen's middle
name is
what
florence
fred florence allen imagine
well why in the world did his parents
ever name him florence well i'll give
you a hint don allen didn't shave until
he was 33 years old
in fact he still wears his garters above
his knees
hey marvin doris is in the audience
no kidding
you should talk about alan i saw a
picture of you when you were 15 years
old you were playing with dolls well i
still have a couple of dolls on my lap
now and then sister
they're still full of sawdust too
well that's the cattiest remark i've
ever heard speaking of cats whatever
became of that girl you were engaged to
the speaking of cats what girl uh the
one with the big grin and the whiskers
now cut that out you're having a jolly
time tonight aren't you hey mr benny is
it all right if i take my girl oh hello
hello dennis hello
uh what did you want kid i said is it
all right if i take my girl to your
concert at carnegie hall well sure
dennis is she a music lover is she she's
got a short thumb from pushing nickels
and juke boxes
well she
she does like music uh where did your
girlfriend live dennis if i knew where
she lived i wouldn't be wasting my time
at a concert
well you'll enjoy it dennis there are a
lot of great artists on the program
there's uh jan pierce uh izio pinza
joseph and rosina levine deans taylor
yeah and don't forget john charles and
thomas
wait a minute i i made that same mistake
it's john charles thomas dennis holy
smoke cause he got four names dennis is
you oh
in the blue suit here what in the blue
suit here yes yes
oh brother
well kid
speaking of john charles and thomas uh
how about a song from you okay but i'll
never top him so what for heaven's sake
i don't expect a top high fed aw jack
you're just being modest you're as good
as typhus any day what you don't think
they'd let you play in carnegie hall
unless you were one of the world's
greatest violinists well that's a lovely
compliment thanks mary you're welcome it
also says here
don't spoil it you always have to do
that well i don't know about anyone else
but personally i think mr benny is one
of the finest violinists of this earache
that's the era
eerie
well there's two compliments shot but oh
well
sing dennis and let's get on with the
show
wait a minute come in
telegram for jack benny take it mary
wait a minute buddy here's a tip for you
oh boy a half a dollar
no use waiting i gotta get new glasses
who's the uh
who's the wire from mary uh it's from
your father oh good old dad what does he
say a dear son congratulations on your
appearance in carnegie hall tonight
please let me know how your full dress
suit goes over
he made me a beauty folks the tails
change color like a peacock
a thing dennis well i'll probably get
plugged for this but i got a cold all
right do the best you can what are you
there
[Music]
i really thought i had a place in your
heart
but now i see
it never was me
it was someone else
[Music]
dreaming
i'm dreaming too
our free
dreams are one too many
for my dream can never
come
[Music]
my true
dreams are one too many
oh my dream can never come true
my hoping that you would love me
what
this crazy river
[Music]
he's happy
i know i'm
three
dreams are one too many
oh i'll give my dreams
[Applause]
dreams are one too many
oh i'll give my dreams
that was uh
there are three dreams from the picture
powers girl sung by dennis day and
dennis that's one of the numbers you
sing in the picture isn't it yes sir you
ought to see it mr benny i play the part
of a fellow who has more money than
brains oh oh heart act like you've got
money by golly
i imagine it is oh hello abe hi jack abe
lyman fellas
all right abe stop shaking hands over
your head like a prize fighter
what a character hey before i forget it
jack congratulations i hear you're going
to play at the canarsie hall tonight
no use talking phil harris is a genius
really
that's carnegie hall on 57th street by
the way ever you're coming to the
concert i'd like to jack but that hybrid
user gives me a rash a what a rash oh
speaking of highbrow music jack i've
written a message which includes the
names of various operas concealed a very
clever manner oh fine last week it was
birds now it's operated
see if you can pick them out johnny
operas yeah go ahead ladies and
gentlemen the fast thing tomorrow
morning go into your kitchen and have a
dish of toasty brown sweeteners and a
drape nut flakes i know they're good
because i eat of them every day
well there's faust in aida whether you
live in a white house a red house or a
tam houser tanhauser
you'll love america's fastest growing
flake cereal so remember folks even if
you're feeling low end you will grin
with grape nuts flakes
poor low and grin really got dragged in
there but don that was all right i'll
see that you get a raise for that but
jack with the new ceiling on salaries
you can't give raisins yes sir and now
ladies and gentlemen
uh go away don go away and now ladies
and gentlemen for our feature attraction
this evening we are going to present a
gripping grammar of the old south
entitled hey mr benny i was out in the
hall just now and there's oh hello
dennis hello hey mr benny i was out in
the hall just now how are you feeling
kid
oh i was here before remember oh oh yes
yes that's right in the blue suit
uh what do you want well there's a man
waiting for you out in the hall and he
says for you to hurry up the man out in
the hall oh that must be oscar levant
come on in oscar
hello jack are you all ready yes i'm
ready to go well after i see you prepare
to accompany me on the piano tonight do
you always wear those white gloves these
are my hands i just came from the blood
bank
[Applause]
very good i'll have to watch out for
this guy he's sharper than a bug too
i'll be through here in a few minutes
oscar then we'll hop in a cab and go
over to carnegie hall just think benny
and levant playing a duet
let's walk maybe we'll get run over
before we get there
that's all right i got to be on my toes
dude this guy's making a monkey out of
here
oh by the way oscar i think you know
everybody here don't you sure oh mary
didn't i see you at the star club last
night the star club yes you were dancing
with that south american oh that was
jack with a black toupee
i was in bed by 10 o'clock last night
although i couldn't sleep i was so
nervous thinking about our concert
tonight you were nervous my wife hadn't
pulled me off the windowsill three times
i gotta watch out he's an ad living food
oh oscar i don't think you know abe
lyman our band leader i've known eight
for years sure we sat together as
reuben's last night say oscar you know
that was a pretty good bowl of soup i
drank you didn't drink that soup you
auditioned it
you beat me to an oscar i was just going
to ad-lib something like that
honest i was you couldn't add liberty
with a nose full of pepper
why couldn't they well go ahead and say
something go ahead ad libs
well go ahead say something funny well
uh
well this seems to be a good time to say
hello to my mother hello mom
well i could say something funny but how
can i think with that darn dennis day
standing there staring at me well that
sweat rolling down your forehead
fascinates me
i wasn't thinking that hard well anyway
oscar stick around i'll be with you in a
minute and now ladies and gentlemen as i
start to announce we're going to do a
satire on one of radio's most
intelligent and popular programs
information please wait a minute you
said we were going to be all right never
mind and we have prevailed upon mr oscar
levant to come over here this evening
and be our guest expert i come over here
to pick you up and take you to carnegie
hall well for heaven's sake oscar as
long as you're here let's have some fun
it's a small enough favor to ask me
after i got you on that concert you got
me on yes
you better lay off that benzodiane
brother
all right be a sport i certainly can't
do a program like information please
with dopes like abe lyman and dennis day
and you and me now
anyway ladies and gentlemen right after
a number by abe lymon and his orchestra
we'll present our own version of the
i'll take it i must be rochester i told
him to bring my full dressed suit over
here
hello hello mr benny there's roger
yes rochester i'm just leaving the hotel
of course i've got your top half white
time tail
that's tail hail one of them got caught
in the elevator
oh my goodness
well i'll certainly look funny playing
my violin and carnegie hall with one
tail you might as well face it boys are
gonna look funny anyway
well that's one of the most careless
things i ever heard
i guess i'll have to wear my tuxedo your
tuxedo yeah did you press it like i told
you to well i pressed the cooler all
right but i had a long phone call during
the dance
oh so you left the hot iron on my pants
where'd you burn them i think the french
word is
well i'll be well what am i gonna do i'm
bringing all some black paint
never mind that i'll just have to be
careful how i take my bowel
oh wait a minute i have another idea i
think i'll wear my blue surge suit that
blue surge is awful shiny boss it is not
shiny i wish i had a diamond it threw
off a glitter like that look rochester
no excuses you get over here right away
with my blue surge suit goodbye goodbye
bush
sorry oscar i'll have to wear a blue
surg suit tonight will that be all right
sure i'm wearing a leopard skin myself
very good what a guy he's really on the
beam play lima
[Music]
that was i can't give you anything but
love sorry abe we had to cut this kind
of short but that was i can't give you
anything but love played by abe lyman
and his hotel lincoln orchestra
hey that's a good one abe at the lincoln
i don't get it who asked you to be
thankful you got a plug
and now don i think it's about time for
uh
now who's that come in
yes sir is this the jack benny program
i'm supposed to be in your play tonight
oh yes you were going to be the villain
uh what's your name joe besser
messer no
well i'm uh i'm sorry mr besser we're
not doing a play this evening now wait a
minute i want to act
all right calm down
i'll find something for you to do you
better you old crazy you
now sit down please
all right don let's get started
and now folks we bring you our version
of information please with that not as i
reconciler lecturer and book reviewer of
the breeders gazette
clifton bennyman
thank you
thank you milton wilson and now ladies
and gentlemen i'm sure you all know the
rules of information please i will read
several questions submitted by our
listeners and for each question which is
not answered by our board of experts we
will give away a page from the
encyclopedia britannica
and one grape nut
the grape nut flakes here mr wilson
yes sir the registers are loaded good
i'd like to have you meet our board of
experts first mr oscar levant noted
pianist or pianist which is an oscar
pianist or pianist what's the difference
after tonight i might be washed up
i gotta watch this guy he's dynowriter
and next miss mary livingston well-known
authority on poetry have you a sample
for us miss livingston twinkle twinkle
little star how i wonder what you are
shining up above so high don't you know
there's a demo
very very good and now mr abe lyman
noted authority on shakespeare and
literary light there's a dim out there
too
you said it mr dennis j world famous
authority on on what and last but not
least
sit down dennis sit down
mr joe besser authority on archaeology
ich theology and paleontology we'll get
here
and now folks we will proceed you will
crazy you
mr baxter
we will proceed with information please
[Music]
our
our first question comes from miss
bernice butterball of baked potato idaho
miss butterball wants to know if you can
name three presidents of the united
states whose names begin with w well i
see you have your hand raised mr dave
that nerve that just blew
well don't uh
don't you know a president whose name
begins with w will you give me a hint
yeah so who was the washington monument
named after george monument
that's right george monument washington
and now let's have another president
beginning with w wendell wilkie
wilkie didn't win mr lebanon well he's
working that i know
i gotta watch that boys making a
straight man out of me
and now second a president whose name
begins with w i'm waiting
on the professor i see you have your
hand up oh it's not for that
well it looks like this butterball has
stumped the expert
we are sending her immediately a page
from the encyclopedia britannica
and a great nut
plate now here's a letter
here's a letter
here's a letter from dr bert scott of
beverly hills california
dr scott is a dentist and he says dear
mr benny i have written and written and
if you don't remit promptly i will
oh here's a question from mr joe jackson
of jackson jojo
mr jackson wants to know what the
following girls have in common joel
crawford joan leslie joan bennett joan
fontaine
oh pardon me
you should know this miss livingston
what have the following movie stars in
common joan crawford joan leslie joan
bennett and joan fontaine none of them
will work with you
that's all well thanks to your levity
miss livingstone we have lost another
page from the encyclopedia and the grape
nut plague
now here
here's a question in your field mr
levant incidentally you haven't gotten
anything tonight you're referring the
money of course
i'm referring to answers now i'm going
to play a musical selection and i want
you to identify the numbers
mr besser please
i'll play it again
i'll play it again mr levat and see if
you can identify it
now what's the name of that number its
name is mud it used to be souvenir
it's still souvenir now i'll give you
one more chance
fine what do you want rochester look
what time it is you got to get over that
concert that's right it's getting late
did you bring my blue surg suit yes wait
a minute that's my green suit it was
blue when you bought it
it's too late to change it now come on
oscar let's walk over to carnegie hall
yep the last mile oh don't be so
pessimistic clay lyman come on
you know many a proud parent gets a
mighty shock when a youngster shoots up
overnight
mom sees little tommy playing with his
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first thing you know tommy's carols are
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there's a reason
in fact two big reasons
first it's that sweetest or not malty
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and it's that grand all-around
nourishment for grape nuts flakes being
a whole grain cereal bring you vital
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that means they're one of the eight
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that was the last number of the 16th
program of the new great nut flake
series i want to thank oscar levant for
appearing here tonight and also joe
besser one of the stars of the olsen and
johnson hit stuns the plot
next sunday night folks will be
broadcasting from fort meade maryland
and tomorrow we'll be seeing you boys of
the coast guard at manhattan beach with
my whole gang
with my whole gang including danny k the
star of let's face it good night folks
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