[Music]
hello friends and welcome to this day in
jack benny i'm john henderson this
episode is from january 7
1945 a couple of months after the
presidential election in which roosevelt
was re-elected in spite of my desire to
retire to the quiet
of private life
in the episode they reference a
best-selling record at the time the
trolley songs
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[Applause]
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then there was the actor van johnson
tell me honey
how come you're so cute
and the actress barbara stanwick i
wasn't long was i hope i've got my face
on straight it was still quite common to
travel by train even overnight in a
sleeper train like the super chief up to
this large railroad station come buses
taxis and private cars carrying people
who are going to travel by passenger
train
it is almost bedtime
the film and porter begins to change
seats into beds
taking out backs of seats to make
bottoms for beds called births
those who are not yet ready for bed may
have tables magazines newspapers and
writing materials with which to while
away the even
this is a notable episode of jack benny
because three long-running bits debuted
in this episode first jack benny's vault
hall who goes there friend
friend
what's the password a fool and his money
second the racetrack tout a bun
come here
and third the train announcer played by
mel blanc
train leaving on track five for anaheim
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and enjoy the show the jack benny
program
[Music]
the lucky strike program starring jack
benny with barry livingston phil harris
rochester larry stevens and yours truly
don wilson
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[Applause]
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[Applause]
well ladies and gentlemen next sunday
night we will be broadcasting from new
york city where jack benny is going to
open the march of dimes infantile
paralysis drive so let's go to jack's
house in beverly hills where he's busy
preparing for the trip
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the
sideways side all around the town
i wonder if the little flowers leaves
are turning brown
sweet georgia brown
oh boy new york bright lights broadway
so much excitement in new york subways
taxi cabs people rushing around
that's where you see all the old
waterfall acts powers elephants sharky
the train seal
thinks mules fred allen
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let's see now
i'll uh i'll cash a check when i get to
new york but i'll need some money on the
train
better figure out how much i'll need
see there'll be nine meals in the diner
at 50 cents a meal
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that's uh 4.50
maybe i should get rochester to pack
some sandwiches
nah how often do you go to new york
besides you get jelly all over the birth
anyway
nine meals at 450. yeah that'll cover it
nicely but to be on the safe side i'll
take five dollars
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i uh
i better get it out of the safe now
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i'm
hmm
i wonder if that door is heavy enough
oh who goes there
it's only me ed it's okay oh hello mr
benny have you been in oh fine fine
oh by the way mr benny yeah who won the
election
uh roosevelt it was pretty close um so
hoover's out huh
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oh yes yes a long time ago oh say yeah
do you have a nice christmas yes quiet
but nice
good good oh wait i just want to open my
safe for a minute oh yes sir shall i
turn my back no no no no no
now let's see the combination of the
safe is right to 45
left to 160
back to 15
then left to 110
there
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no darn it i forgot to turn off the
alarm
now let's see oh there's a loose five
dollar bill yep that's all i'll need i
think
so long ed i'll see in the spring
take it easy so long
well i take care of that now if i can
get finished packing here oh it's your
boss i heard your burglar alarm go off
so i rushed right in from the garage
oh you mean you could hear it way out
there hear it everybody in family hills
is digging a foxhole
well i like to be on the safe side
anyway i'm glad you came in rochester i
want you to finish packing my trunk yes
sir oh don't say balls what i packed
your toupees in that hat box my toupees
yeah i put in the blonde one the dark
one the curly one and the two with the
pearl lining
good do you want to take the one with
the cowlick
the cowlick yeah you know the one you
say makes you look like van johnson
no never mind that one i'll be
associating with an older crowd in new
york by the way raja you finished your
own packing i didn't do any packing i'm
traveling life this year line yeah one
pair of shoes two pairs of shorts three
pair of socks and four paradise
nice i should've i suppose you think
you're going to new york and clean out
the town i sure am boys but i'll admit
wall street has me a little worried
what do you mean well i can bring back
the money myself but how am i going to
move those buildings
now you're just being silly look
rochester get my suits out of the closet
rochester i'll answer the door
oh hello larry why aren't you home
packing oh i'm packed already i just
came over to see if i could help you oh
i'm getting along all right kid gee mr
benny i'm all excited i've never taken
such a long trip before oh you'll love
new york i won't be rochester yes sir
especially this time of year you'll see
all that snow and the air is so crisp
and so cold yeah and don't forget larry
we change at chicago oh i won't have to
i've got mine on already
larry i mean we changed trains that's
where we get off the chief and take the
20th century oh say kid what are you
going to sing on our first program in
new york got it all set yes would you
like to hear it mr benny yeah yeah i
want to see if it's okay
oh hold it a minute kid there's a phone
hello hiya jackson oh hello phil i'm
busy packing are you packed yet well i
would be but my laundry hasn't come back
my shirts and things well for heaven's
sake we're leaving in two hours have you
any other shirt no those were the only
ones i had oh well that's different
rochester let everything else go and
finish ironing mr harris's shirt
hurry up but boys you promised miss
stanwood you'd get her stuff out first
miss stan we can wait this is an
emergency
all right phil we'll bring it to the
station okay see you later jackson i'll
meet you on the show that's the chief
the chief that's the name of the train i
know i pulled the switch
oh harris you clearly headed clown what
keeps you from going high at you boys
because you can't get a high hat on a
low brow
now goodbye okay larry let's hear that
song you're gonna do will you kid
[Applause]
[Music]
oh give me land lots of land under
starry skies above
don't fence me in
let me ride through the wide open
country that i love
don't
fence me in
let me be by myself in the evening
priest listen to the murmur of the
covenant trees send me off forever but i
ask you
please don't fence me in just turn me
loose let me straddle my old saddle
underneath the western stars
on my car use let me wander over yonder
till i see the mountains right
i want to ride to the ridge where the
west commences
gaze at the moon till i lose my senses
can't look at hobbles and i can't stand
fences
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i wanna wander over yonder till i see
the mountains
rise i want to ride to the ridge where
the west commences
gaze up the moon until i lose my senses
and look at hubble's and my camps and
fences
don't fence me in
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[Applause]
[Music]
um
that song will be fine for next week's
program larry i'll meet you at the santa
fe station a half hour before our train
leaves okay say mr benny when you're on
this march of dimester will you want me
to go along and sing oh sure sure kid i
was depending on you now run along and
i'll see you later okay goodbye so long
larry
oh say rochester yes boss as long as
we're going on this tour do you think i
should take my violin to new york you do
and they'll run you up that tree that
grows in brooklyn
they will not now go upstairs and get my
violin
come in
pardon me are you mr penny yes my name
is wimbish malcolm wimbish
i heard you were going out of town for a
while and i thought maybe you'd rent me
your house
rent my house no no i don't think so but
gee mr bunny i haven't had a place to
live since i got here the hotels are
crowded you can't get an apartment and
they're always painting the benches in
the park
last night i even tried to sleep on a
street car and you couldn't sleep huh i
couldn't clang clang clang went the
trolley what ding ding ding went the
bell
look buzz buzz buzz
went the buzzer no the guy next to me
was snoring
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oh well look fella gee mr benny i got to
find a place to live i ain't got no
place to sleep well i'd like to rent you
my house mr wimbish but i'll be back in
just two months that's all right i ought
to be awake by then
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well under the circumstances okay i'll
rent you the house thanks i'll look
around and see if i like it oh oh i
guess
wander through the house if there's
anything you don't like let me know that
i will and dog gone with all these
interruptions i'll never get finished
packing oh say boss rochester did you
find my violin not yet i looked every
place where'd you look in the violin
case uh-huh i hope the cage and all i
found was four strings and a fat termite
not only that when i peeked in he spit
the bridge at me
rock i said that's a big fib and you go
no now go go and find my
now go find my violin
now what is it come in
hello oh mr benny i'm pauline miss
livingston's maid yes yes i know well i
came over to tell you that mr livingston
has a bad cold so instead of meeting you
at the house she's going right to the
station and get on the train oh miss
livingston has a cold that's too bad did
you rub something on her chest i tried
to mr benny but she's ticklish
oh well
what about the doctor he's ticklish too
[Music]
no no pauline i meant uh what did the
doctor say about her cold well he said
she could go to new york as long as she
got right in her birth and stayed there
oh well thanks for coming over and
telling me you're welcome
oh mr benny yes
what is it
well miss livingston didn't have room
for all her things so she wants you to
put this
in your suitcase
this yeah
well pauline i don't want to take that i
mean suppose my suitcase falls open
people will see it i mean what would
they think well they could think it's
yours
mine mine don't have those clips for the
stocking
now pauline you better run down to the
train ms livingston may need you goodbye
goodbye
a pauline pop oh she took the girdle
with her goodness
guys
huh oh yes yes i looked around the house
and it looks pretty good
but tell me do you have any mice mice
well well i have to admit that we do
have a few good i hate to live alone
oh oh i'll go look at some of the other
rooms now yes make yourself at home it's
a democratic sort of a guy isn't it
now say rogers i just happen to think of
something i've got to make some speeches
at several banquets so i better take
along my tuxedo oh
what's the matter well i was pressing
your pants and i think i left the iron
on a wee bit too long oh my goodness did
you burn a big hole in them boss if
tennessee could have found a hole that
size that had scored a touchdown
what roughly you were burnt out on the
10-yard line
well look maybe i can wear my oh just
when i'm in a hurry though hello uh
hello jack this is don wilson look don
i'm trying to get packed what is it oh
i've got some terrible news for you what
what is it well i i hate to tell you
this but yesterday i lost the money you
gave me for the railroad tickets oh for
heaven's sake we leave in less than an
hour did you put an ad in the paper yes
jack it went down as soon as it happened
i wrote out an ad that said lost
saturday money for tickets for the jack
benny show on the santa fe chief to new
york well good but the newspaper said it
was too long so i cut it down to lost
saturday money for tickets lost saturday
money for tickets well that's all right
no no they said it was still too long so
i just used the initials ls mft
ls mft but don how will you get the
money back lsmft stands for lucky strike
means fine tobacco yes lucky strike
means flying tobacco
i know i but did you get an answer to
the ad you're putting the paper yes one
man called up good what did he say he
said
soul american don you mean a man called
you up just to say
that's what he said that's what the man
said he said that what
so long jack
imagine scaring me like that but then
don's kind of cute in his fully packed
way i guess
rochester you better start taking out
the bags we got to leave right now okay
boss okay i'll just put on my tie and my
coat and then i'll be ready in almost
any time now say mr benny oh yes yes i
forgot about you i looked around the
house and i like it all right but in the
kitchen i turn the faucets on and the
hot water runs cold and the cold water
runs rusty rusty
you're in california bob that's orange
juice
now here's the key come on rochester
let's go
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[Applause]
uh
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[Applause]
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you
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[Applause]
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[Applause]
see the station is crowded rochester
yeah put on your red cap and carry my
bags to the train
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i got to meet my gang train leaning on
trent five for
anaheim azusa and cucamonga
train leaving on track five for anaheim
azusa and cucamonga gee we're all
supposed to meet here at the information
desk no one oh there they are hey phil
don well hello jack hi jackson say
fellas mary went right to the train
she's got a cold oh that's too bad say
uh what are you carrying there under
your arm well i heard it was pretty cold
new york and i want to be on the safe
side but jack's in a smudge pot
well i'm not taking any chances
on track five for anaheim azusa and
cucamonga
does anybody want to go to anaheim
say don have you got all the tickets
well not quite jack at the last minute
phil said he needed an extra one phil
who are you sneaking on this trip with
you well it's frankie my guitar player i
got to take him along on account of the
magazines the magazines yeah he reads to
me
oh for goodness sake now i have to buy
another ticket hey jack where you been i
ain't seen you around what oh hello
hello
who was that jackson oh he's a racetrack
tout that used to hang around hollywood
park you know well i'll meet you later
fellas now let's see the ticket window
ought to be leaving on track five for
anaheim azusa and cucamonga
oh come on somebody must want to go
let me see the ticket window ought to be
hey jack hey jack uh come here
huh
oh it's you again
what is it i uh didn't want to say
anything while you were with your
friends there but uh where you going
new york what train you're taking
the chief
[Laughter]
why
what's the matter take the el capitan
but
but i like the chief come here
[Laughter]
yeah
and take my tip bud the el capitan will
beat the chief into kansas city by three
lints
[Laughter]
[Music]
what according to yesterday's
performance it can't miss
well look i'm sorry i'm taking the chief
you know look come here a minute
uh-huh i was talking to the engineer
who's right in el capitan and he tells
me that today she's ready
[Music]
well
i don't know and uh look at the breeding
el capitan is by 20th century out of
golden state limited
well thanks for the tip but i'm going to
stick to the chief why
come here
don't noise this around see no
but i found out the chief
is a sleeper
[Music]
now uh so long fella okay okay so
[Applause]
now let's see the ticket window should
be leaving on track by paranahi mazusa
and cucamonga
look we're not asking much two of you or
even one of you just somebody to keep
the engineer company
[Music]
here's the ticket window oh pardon me
are you the ticket clerk well what do
you think i am in this cage a canary
[Music]
well don't get huffy about all i want is
a ticket on the cheek oh
would you like the 60 ticket or 140
ticket well what's the difference well
with 140 tickets you ride inside
well naturally i want to write on the
inside after all you know i'm not as
young as i used to be
you're not as young as anybody
[Music]
now don't get fresh all i want is a
ticket to new york return trip no one
way good
now cut that off and stop wasting time i
have to get to new york by thursday i'm
sorry but our trains are all booked up
well think man think there must be one
train that has room for me
please
look clerk i've waited here long enough
you've just got oh well you're in luck
blue eyes
i found one ticket on the cheek good
i'll take it the chief leaving for new
york oh what hurry up hurry up will you
clerk thanks thanks
[Music]
good it's just been cancelled
i'm coming fellas i'm coming wait for me
wait for me hey jackson we're moving
hurry up i'm coming i'm coming
wait for me
[Music]
well jack will be back in just a minute
but first here's my good friend fe boone
boon
american smoke that smoke of fine
tobacco smoke that smoke of fine tobacco
yes ladies and gentlemen smoke that
smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike for
lucky strike means fine tobacco and in a
cigarette it's the tobacco that counts
it takes fine tobacco to make a fine
cigarette remember lucky strike means
fine tobacco so round so firm so fully
packed so free and easy on the draw the
famous tobacco auctioneers heard on
tonight's programmer mr la speed riggs
of goldsboro north carolina
and mr fe boone of lexington kentucky at
45
45 sold americans this is basil risedale
speaking for lucky strike
ls mft
ls mft smoke lucky strike the cigarette
that means fine tobacco yes lucky strike
means fine tobacco so round so firm so
fully packed so free and easy on the
draw
[Music]
pauline how's miss livingston oh she's
fine can i go in the compartment and see
her well she's asleep right now oh well
i'll see you later second doctor yes sir
how long before we get to san bernardino
oh it'll be about two hours sir two
hours why so long first we got to go
through anaheim azusa and cucamonga
oh that guy got his way anyway
good night folks
[Applause]
[Music]
this is the national broadcasting
company