[Music]
hello friends
welcome to this day in jack benny i'm
john henderson
this episode with me as a special guest
is my wife
stephanie hello hello how are you i'm
great
you know i've been thinking a lot about
summer time now i know you know shows
would go on hiatus
including the jack benny show yeah so
what do you have planned now that jack
isn't doing any summer shows
well eventually i'd like to do an intro
for every episode of jack benny you know
where
i explain the references and get clips
and things but
he was on the air for like 30 years it
would take me 30 years
to finish this project and so the
summertime is a good
chance to catch up just a little bit oh
i see so it'll be a series of
bonus episodes yeah basically episodes
from any time in the year
not necessarily this day in jack benny i
know you have a series of other old-time
radio podcasts you've been working on
right so tell us a little bit about what
that looks like for you this summer
well everybody loves jack benny but
people have different tastes when it
comes to other old-time radio shows
so if you like those spooky creepy
maybe suspenseful old radio shows i've
got a podcast called theater of thrills
now it is also on hiatus but there's so
many
old episodes that if you're new to the
podcast you've got plenty to listen to
in fact i just did a 25 part series
uh of dr jekyll and mr hyde so you could
go back and listen to all those episodes
or if those scary episodes are not your
style i also have something called
bible broadcasts which is like hymns and
dramatizations of bible stories so good
for the whole family
i know you also have g wiz which is uh
you know the typical american teenager
yeah and famous stories
the thing about old time radio is
they're not making
any new old-time radio
so there's only a certain number of
episodes of
the aldridge family or the damon runyon
theater so i've actually completed
all of those episodes and you can listen
to them all in the back catalog by
subscribing to g-whiz or
famous stories and all of those links of
course are at thisdaybenny.com
that's right now this week we got some
sad news
joan benny jack benny and mary
livingston's daughter
died at the age of 86. actually she was
one week away from her 87th birthday
so she died last thursday june 10th 2021
and her birthday would have been
tomorrow this thursday june 17th
can you tell me a little bit about joan
well i have seen a number of
interviews with her and the thing that i
noticed
throughout the years is she's very put
together
like she always looks just a little bit
glamorous
you know it's sort of similar to her
mother mary livingston who was always
like
very put together and like not quite
formal but like yeah likes to look
good you know what i mean right uh
although
she is not the natural daughter of jack
benny and married livingston they
adopted her
remember i had that interview with jack
benny's grandson yes of course
he mentioned that their good friends
burns and allen
george burns and gracie allen had
adopted a child and they thought that's
a good idea
and so they adopted joan oh and so
there's a number of episodes where
she'll come in and do like a little part
and so those are always very fun and
we've got one of those coming up in just
a minute
uh and also she would sub
for her mom she would sub in for mary
livingston
because at a certain point mary
livingston
got too uh i guess stage fright to do
the show live
and so joan would come in read the lines
in front of the audience
and then mary would later dub them in
now that's interesting so which episode
do we have today
so this episode is from october 15 1950
and in the episode they mentioned the
american legion convention
the veterans that organized the american
legion
as usual the legionnaires took the town
by storm
some movie stars claudette colbert i
can't believe it i
i really can't gary cooper couldn't stay
away from me another day you always
meant so much to me
and danny k many years ago when i first
started in the saloon called the
martinique
jack benny came down and we became very
fast friends
and ever since then he has followed my
career with tremendous interest as i
have his
when i see jack i'll tell him exactly
what happened and tell him
that the hair on this figure is mine
mentioned the newspaper comic strip dick
tracy the current villain was named
tv wiggles he threatened to smash
television sets at local bars
unless they paid him protection money
i don't get it tracy why the gun right
you ain't got nothing on us oh not too
much just burglary assault
vandalism impersonating police officers
and a little thing like attempted murder
television was becoming
very popular and here friends is
america's
number one television value the admiral
three foot theater this admiral console
features a big 16 inch television screen
that brings you the finest clearest
picture you've ever seen
you can get it mahogany for 695 dollars
but all these wonderful admiral products
will be available at their local admiral
dealers also
they made a television version of this
episode four years later
uh ladies and gentlemen you know on
radio and
on television i'm not supposed to be
married
but i'm sure that most of you know that
uh mary is really my wife
and joanie my daughter i like to have
them both take a bow
on the radio dennis day plays a teenager
even though
in real life he's in his 30s and his
real name is not dennis day
it's eugene patrick mcnulty keep
listening after the show to hear clips
from the tv version of this episode
so tune in your television set and enjoy
the show
the jackpenny program presented by lucky
strike
be happy
and finally won her hand when i got
smart and switched right to that milder
lucky brand
right in the mirror on my wall there is
a fine reflection
i see big stacks of lucky packs the
smoke that is
enjoy your cigarette enjoy truly fine
tobacco that combines both perfect
mildness
and rich taste in one great cigarette
lucky strike
for only fine tobacco gives you both
perfect mildness
and rich taste and ls mft
lucky strike means fine tobacco so
friends
be happy go lucky try a carton of lucky
strikes
happy go lucky
the lucky strike program starring jack
benny with barry livingston phil harris
rochester dynasty and yours truly don't
ladies and gentlemen important things
happened in beverly hills yesterday
they weren't the kind of things you read
about in the papers but they were
important nevertheless
it all started late in the afternoon at
mary livingston's house
oh pauline pauline yes miss livingston
i'd like you to straighten out the house
mr benny is coming over
oh does he want you to sign a new lease
no no this is just a social visit oh
well i can't clean the whole house your
sister's still asleep in the guest room
then skip that room ms livingston why
did your sister babe make this trip to
california
for the legion convention she was with a
fighting 69
[Laughter]
so pauline let her get all the rest she
can because she has to leave soon and go
back to her job
is she still working as a deep sea diver
yes and i hope the vacation out here
makes you forget her recent loss
lord she was engaged to another deep sea
diver
may he rest in peace gee what happened
to him
well he was working on a salvage job 80
feet under water
babe walked by and he kept his hat
[Laughter]
but babe will get over it i hope so you
know miss livingston life is funny
years ago you and i used to work side by
side at the mate company
now you're a big radio star and i'm your
maid
yeah by the way pauline can you lend me
five dollars for payday
[Music]
sure here that's ten you owe me okay
now pauline you can finish cleaning up
i'm gonna call mr benny and see what's
keeping him
rochester will you please answer no i
forgot
she went to the store hello
hello jack i thought you're coming over
to my house i'm waiting for you
i'll be over what's the rush well
well jack there's something i want to
talk to you about it's been on my mind a
long time and
now that i've worked up enough courage
well um
yeah come over as soon as you can okay
snooty i'll be over
i wonder what can be so important that
she wants to talk to me about
she said it was hello boys i'm back from
the store
good rochester what'd you buy a quarter
of a pound of butter a loaf of bread two
pounds of ground round our usual supply
of canned goods
oh and boss i think next week i'll have
to shop at a different market
why what's wrong with our regular market
well you know having charges less for
cans of events
yes well this morning they caught me
banning them
[Music]
rochester you ought to be ashamed of
yourself bending cans to get them
cheaper i'm glad you were caught
they wouldn't have caught me if i hadn't
asked for a mop
what you need a mop for i tried to damn
a bottle of milk
that's the most ridiculous rochester
you're joking aren't you
i was just trying to worry into giving
me more money for shopping
i give you enough now look rochester
i've got to rush over to ms livingston's
house right away
i'll be back for dinner okay see you
later
be happy to lucky be happy
the lucky stripes
that's a catchy song be happy go lucky
be happy go lucky strike gosh it's been
hot the last few days
temperature's been way up to 104 sure
glad i didn't
empty my swimming pool in september
business has been great
yesterday they were using towels faster
than i could wash them
[Laughter]
be happy go lucky be happy
yeah i can't imagine what mary wants to
see me about
couldn't be about our contract she just
signed a new one
i wonder if say
i'll bet i know what it is for years
i've been asking her to marry me she's
always turned me down
now i bet you changed your mind that's
what it is
that's all it could be holy
mackerel he has to go lucky
[Music]
lucky strike behalf he'll be wonderful
when mary and i get married
we'll be able to go to parties together
go on vacations together
file joint income tax returns
i think i'll stop in this drugstore and
get a copy of true story magazine
there's an article in this issue about
me
i wonder where can i help you sir oh i
just want to pick out a magazine
now let's see oh here it is
true story magazine
yep here's the article well my picture
too
and it's in color i mean look at those
big blue eyes
here's the story hello everybody by jack
benny is told to joseph
k i was born in walking in illinois 36
miles from chicago
my father had a men's clothing store
clerk yes
give me a package of lucky strikes
please there you are thanks i would open
the store with a buddy named julia
finnegan
dad's comment was if you lose your own
money that's your privilege ought to be
that against julian
dad and mother wanted me to be a may i
uh wait on you miss
yes i'd like this deck of canasta cards
and two packages of cigarettes
please of what kind lucky stride yes
tomorrow's my father's birthday could
you giftwrap a carton of lucky's bro
i'll be glad thank you
i was afraid i could never reach it so i
was wondering
see the story's so long i haven't got
time to stand here and read it
maybe i'll come back tomorrow
yes about me i'll buy it
oh clerk clerk yes sir i want this copy
of true mass true story magazine yes sir
that'll be 20 cents
here's the dollar thank you i'll get you
changed i wonder if i ought to get three
hello mr penny huh oh hello dennis what
are you doing here in the drugstore
i'm buying a magazine oh what are you
doing here dana i'm buying some arsenic
i'm going to commit suicide
[Music]
that's nice clark give me my change
just a minute mister did you hear what
he said yes give me my change
do you know him uh-huh what are you
going to do anything about it
no give me my change well i'm going to
young man why do you want to commit
suicide well the girl i was in love with
sneaked off and married somebody else oh
that's too bad when did you find out
about it two years ago
clerk give me my change young man you
say your girl left you two years ago why
have you waited so long to kill yourself
i wanted to see if dick tracy would
catch tv wiggles
[Music]
young man here's your bottle of arsenic
compliment of the house
thank you oh mister yes do i get
anything back on the bottle
offer heaven's sake dennis go home yes
sir goodbye
you see clark you see now clark how
about my change here you are sir
thank you
can't understand a kid like dennis day
seems that the older he gets the sillier
he gets
yet to hear him sing you think he was a
normal human being
what a voice yesterday when he came over
to my house to try out a song it sounded
so beautiful
he looked so bright as he was standing
there by the piano
[Music]
good night irene i'll see
you in my dream
sometimes i live in the country
sometimes i live in town
sometimes i take a great notion
to jump into the river and drown
i read
good night irene i'll see
you in my dream
good night irene
[Music]
in my dreams
[Applause]
yep his voice was better than ever but
as soon as he got through singing he
turned to me and said
goodbye mr benny have a nice trip then i
went upstairs and packed before i
realized i wasn't going anywhere
[Laughter]
[Music]
he drives me nuts
well there's mary's house i wonder how
she's gonna go about it
i bet you'd be coy and bashful
see june would be a nice month to get
married
i wonder which i should have for my best
man
i could have my agent he should be out
on parole by then
oh well i got time to think about it
oh hello dad hello mary you uh
you want to talk to me yes uh come on
into the den
okay
okay murray what are the kids uh just a
second i
want to lock the door oh gee
come on mary tell me what it is uh wait
jack i want to shut the window
the window
all right mary you got me over here you
locked the door you closed the window
i see what is it what do you talk to me
about huh huh
jack i've been thinking about this one
subject for a long time yeah yeah what
did it marry
jack something's got to be done about
your being so
[Music]
cheap
why is that
is that all you wanted to talk to me
about yes jack and i'm serious
it's gone to a point where everybody in
town is talking about it
about me being cheap just name
one person who said so well plotted
colbert danny kay
gary i only asked for one
[Music]
any way a fine bunch they are to talk
about me being cheap especially that
danny cave
but that head of hair is that guy's too
cheap to spend 50 cents for a haircut
they're a dollar and a quarter now oh
[Music]
jack look i'm sorry if i hurt your
feelings but all i can do is tell you
this
you better change your ways or you won't
have a friend in the world
well all right mary i'll tell you what
i'll do if you think i'm so cheap
you put on your best evening dress and
tonight i'll take you to dinner at cyril
i'm sorry jack but i already have a date
for the night
yeah with whom oh somebody you don't
know him
oh you know mary a funny thing
when you call me to come over here i was
so sure you were going to
well going to what oh never mind i'll be
running alone
bye jack goodbye mary
[Music]
is that your boss yeah yeah it's me what
smile don't you feel well
no i feel all right well i'll go in and
fix some dinner in just a minute
huh come here rochester yes sir
rochester yes boss
rochester do you think i'm cheap
oh no boys i wouldn't say cheap a little
snug maybe but
[Music]
that's right rogers i don't believe in
throwing my money away but i'm certainly
not
miserly i remember last year when i was
walking down the street and a panhandler
came over to me
he only asked me for a dime and i gave
him 50 cents
there they go again rochester i don't
feel like eating
i'm going to bed good night good night
oh boy was i fooled i was sure
mary decided to marry me i certainly
asked her enough
see the first time i asked her when she
was working at the may company
if she'd accepted me then we'd have been
married a long time now
maybe even have a family
imagine being married to mary
all these years
i have a family
married to mary
286th in figueroa let them out please
let them out
hey mary here's our corner i'm coming
pauline let them off please let them off
gee i wish i lived closer to the bus
line after standing behind the stocking
counter all day my feet are killing me
we sure were busy today weren't we yeah
hello mrs benny
hello mrs krausmeier how the children
well leonid and julius are fine well
that's good
but irving milk tax sam george cliff
bonnie peggy
trudy michael and zeppel have coils
oh that's too bad yeah i found a time
for it to happen
the oldest one starts school next week
[Music]
well everything happens at once it sure
is hot today isn't it
yeah if this is indian summer the
indians can stop already
you said it goodbye mrs krasmeyer
goodbye mr spendy
as i was saying pauline i'm sorry we had
to work so late i was anxious to get
home early because today is my wedding
anniversary
really how long you been married to that
schnook
22 years well buck up kid it could have
happened to anybody
i almost fell for him myself i'll never
forget that first day he walked into the
store
has he still got that ukulele
now he's got something worse now a
violin
oh brother by the way how's your
daughter
joanie oh she's fine you know she's 17
now
time certainly flies yeah well here's
where i live
night falling good night mary
hello joni oh hello mother
i was so busy with my homework i didn't
hear you come in but joni is a rule
you're finished with your homework by
this time
well i'm doing it over i never should
have asked daddy to help me
look he did all my arithmetic problems
and every answer is 39.
oh that's a number that's stuck in his
mind
where's daddy now he's in his room oh
oh why does they stop scratching on that
thing
well i know how you feel mother at
school they can't understand why i flunk
music appreciation
i know what you mean sometimes i think
that oh hello wifey
how's a little sweetheart today little
sweetheart little sweetheart you don't
even know what today is
i do too it's our anniversary it's just
22 years ago today that you said
i do yeah me and my big mouth
what for 22 years you've been telling me
you're going to be a big radio star
when it's gonna happen when oh mother
don't pick on daddy he's such a good
cook
darn right i've been slaving over a hot
stove all day preparing dinner
now who can that be i'll get it
hello hello oh mother this is my new
boyfriend i met him in school
his name is eugene mcnulty eugene
patrick mcnulty
eugene i want you to meet my mother and
father how do you do mrs benny
no no this is my mother daddy take off
that apron
gee and i kissed his hand
uh would you young folks like to be
alone no thanks i'm not talking
now come on let's leave the children
alone okay
eugene yeah would you like to go into
the parlor uh-huh
gee what a beautiful room you've got a
big radio a piano and a television set
yeah mother works awfully hard
that's a picture of her on the piano oh
this picture over here is this your
father
yeah that picture was taken when he was
in the navy gee you must be proud of him
underneath it says admiral that's the
name of the television set
[Music]
here's our family album would you like
to look through it
this is my cousin rita and this is
cousin earl
and this one here is my uncle mert who's
that tough looking guy standing beside
him
my aunt babe
she sure has a big head that's your
diving helmet
and here on the next page is mama and
daddy's wedding picture don't they look
nice
yeah but why is your father holding that
violin everybody notices that
he played at his own wedding
well what are you laughing at because
they march down the aisle to the strains
of oh promise me mama had to hold his
[Laughter]
rosin
no on a pillow yet
say joni who's this cute little girl on
the opposite page well that's a picture
of me the day i started school oh but
you look like you're only two years old
i was daddy wanted me to get through
school fast so i could go to work
i think that's terrible oh i don't mind
as long as it helps mother
you know she's been working at the may
company ever since she and daddy got
married
work work work she never even had one
day off i was born in an elevator
all right joni all right time to eat
dinner's on the table
excuse us eugene
jack invite him to dinner huh yeah yeah
then i can talk to him and find out how
much money you make
we gotta see that our daughter marries
well you can't keep working forever
come on children to the table uh eugene
you sit here next to joni
that's right
[Music]
isn't that cute mother daddy decided to
play his violin while we have dinner
oh mr benny why don't you sit down and
eat with us no no no no
i prefer to play if you care to express
your appreciation for the music there's
an empty plate on the table
well that does it huh i've stood all i
can
i didn't mind working all these years i
didn't mind you and selling my friends
though
but now you've gone too far you haven't
been hurting joni's chances and why
because you're cheap that's what you are
you're cheap cheap cheap
you hear me chase but mary i'm not cheap
i'm not cheap
a little snug maybe but i'm not i'm not
cheap
i'm not i'm not i'm not
[Music]
i'm not cheap wake up wake up
hi uh-huh oh you've been dreaming
i've yeah yeah i guess i was
she rochester was the mo
i'll get it hello hello jack this is
mary
oh what is it mary well i've been doing
a lot of thinking and
jack i'm sorry about those things i said
to you today
oh that's all right mary and i'm gonna
tell you something funny
i just had a dream that you and i were
married and we had a 17 year old
daughter joanie
and her boyfriend was dennis was i still
working at the may company
yes i thought so good night jack
[Applause]
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen this is the season
of america's most shameful waste
forest fires help prevent forest fires
by extra care and the handling
of matches cigarettes and distinguishing
campfires
remember only you can prevent forest
fires thank you
[Applause]
jack will be back in just a moment but
first everybody be
happy go lucky and let's get into the
spirit of the football season
i counted downs and marked the yards
wheeled off by every back
and in between the halves i smoked one
half a lucky pack
i lead the crowd in rahrara to cheer the
team we like
but when it comes to cigarettes creature
for lucky strikes
be happy go lucky happy go lucky
happy go lucky
yes friends be happy go lucky enjoy your
cigarette
puff by puff you'll find lucky's always
give you perfect mildness
in fact scientific tests confirmed by
three independent consulting
laboratories prove
lucky strike is milder than any other
principal brand
and puffed by puff you always get rich
taste too
all the deep down smoking enjoyment that
comes from truly
fine tobacco because ls mft
lucky strike means fine tobacco so
friends be happy
go lucky try a carton of lucky strike
be happy be happy happy
ladies and gentlemen the part of joan
benny was played by miss joan benny
and nick jack yes don the next time you
have a dream put me in it will you i
didn't have one lion on this show
but don that's right you weren't in the
show but don't worry
a check will be made out in your name
thanks just endorse it and give it to
joni why
stay tuned for the amusement show which
follows immediately
this is cbs the columbia broadcasting
[Music]
system
what a fun episode of jack benny and i
mentioned that four years later
they did the same episode again for
television
it included mary livingston as herself
and their actual daughter
joan bennett
[Music]
the jack benny program presented by
lucky strike
shaving cream with dioxin in it
shaving cream with lanolin in it shaving
cream with chlorophyll in it
i had to chase all over town to find
shaving cream with soap in it
there i'm all shave nothing like a nice
smooth hmm
i forgot to put a blade in it
hello hello jack this is mary
oh mary i was just thinking of calling
you what's on your mind
well what are you doing right now
nothing why
well i've been sitting here thinking and
there is something i'd like to talk to
you about
it sounds important well it is jack it's
something i've been thinking about for a
long time and
now that i've worked up enough courage
well uh
look mary i don't know what you're
getting at but if it's that important as
soon as i
finish shaving i'll come over to your
apartment it can't wait
i'll come over there well all right
goodbye
for years i've been asking her to marry
me and she's always turned me down
i even asked her last week that's it
she must have changed her mind that's
what it is
that's all it could be what do you want
to talk to me about mary
jack something has got to be done about
your being so
cheap
what's my boss you don't look good
i got a headache oh well this will make
you feel good
champagne it's uh 7 up with an alpha
celsius in it
now i'm going to lie down here on the
couch a while
imagine mary and me getting married and
now before i pronounce you man and wife
i must ask you these questions
do you promise to always smoke lucky
strikes i do
and do you know that luckies are made
that fine that light that naturally mild
tobacco
i do now will you both repeat after me
ls mft
[Music]
thank you thank you very very much
ladies and gentlemen
thanks joni would you like to do another
tv show with me
well i don't know you'll have to talk to
my agent
johnny i'm your father i know but mother
told me to get an agent
goodnight folks see in three weeks if
you want more bonus episodes and
rarities like this
consider becoming a patron of this day
and jack benny
go to thisdaybenny.com
patreon for five dollars a month you get
two bonus episodes
plus the whole back catalog thanks
you