[Music]
hello friends welcome to this day in
jack benny
i'm john henderson this episode is from
november 5th
1950 two days before the united states
midterm election
this coming tuesday most of you will be
going to the polls to vote for your
favorite political figures
and as we look in the harris home we
find alice and her brother william
discussing the chances of the various
candidates it's going to be an
interesting race for the governor of
california alice
who who do you think will win warren a
roosevelt well i don't know it's hard to
say
phil yeah what do you want warren is
running this tuesday
what do you think of his chances of
winning well that depends
what's the distance and how much weight
is he carrying
[Music]
can he go in the mud that was from the
phil harris and alice fey show
now their sponsor rexall had dropped
them and moved over to amos and andy
so they were currently without a sponsor
although the show was still pretty
popular
meanwhile dennis day could be seen in
the movie i'll get by
darling ever since the first moment i
laid eyes on you i knew we were meant
for each other
i love you i love you i can't stand it
without you he's gonna say
who bill i just heard him rehearsing i
was a fool a blind stupid impetuous fool
he's gonna say also in theaters you
could see jane wyman and kirk douglas
in glass menagerie so it seems almost
like i was about to remember your name
but
was it blue roses my gosh yes
i was absent from school for a while
with porosis
coming soon to the big screen irene dunn
in the mud lark
gary cooper in dallas and jimmy stewart
in harvey well i i turned around
and here was this big six foot rabbit
leaning up against the lamppost
harvey on the small screen jack benny's
debut
in television was a little over a week
earlier
well hello
hey this is this is really a surprise
well i heard you're going to new york
on television so i just came by to wish
you a very happy video
the show was produced by his ad agency
bbdo
baton barton durston and osborne also on
tv you could watch the game show version
of that popular party game
20 questions a human being yes
is he living subject is living is he in
the field of politics or statesmanship
nope and if you listen carefully to this
episode you'll notice they spoof
the pepsi cola jingle
[Music]
in this episode they reference an old
song when the swallows come back to
capistrano
[Music]
and a new version of an old song the
weavers
good night irene
good night
good night good night
i'll see you in my dreams
if you'd like to contact me you can
email jackpennypodcast
gmail.com and on twitter it's at
thisdaybenny
and you can listen to a whole bunch of
old episodes by subscribing to the
podcast
or going to thisdaybenny.com
so enjoy the show
the jackpenny program presented by lucky
strike
be happy
i carry letters all day long as happy as
can be
but the letters that i really love are
lsmse
i gaze into my crystal ball and what i
see i like
he's not so dark or handsome but he's
smoking lucky strikes
me happy
yes light up her lucky and enjoy the
happy blending of perfect mildness and
rich taste in one great cigarette
lucky strike remember only fine tobacco
gives you both
perfect mildness and rich taste and ls
mft
lucky strike means fine tobacco so next
time try a carton of lucky strike and
be happy go lucky be happy
[Music]
the lucky strike program starring jack
benny with barry livingston phil harris
rochester devastating yours truly don
[Music]
wilson
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen jack benny and his
cast are returning from new york where
jack did his first television show
at the moment they're in mary's
compartment aboard the super chief
playing 20 questions
now let's see mary we've used up 19
questions and we found that you're
thinking of something that's animal
he's very famous in show business and is
over six feet tall
that's right and you kids have only one
question left geez this is a hard one
well i'll take a guess is that jimmy
stewart no
well that finishes our 20 questions who
is it mary harvey the invisible rabbit
oh mary that's not fair after all harvey
doesn't exist
it's a figment of a man's imagination so
what universal just finished a wonderful
picture about it
yeah and i can't understand it how can a
studio make a picture about something
and nobody sees it
warner brothers did
wonder brothers he had warner brothers
did some funny stuff
let's get on with the game it's your
it's your turn dennis okay i got a good
one
well is it animal mineral or vegetable
it's animal i think
you think yes is a bird considered an
animal
certainly hey mary the silly kid just
gave himself away
watch this uh tell me dennis is it a
bird uh-huh
you see mary you see yeah dennis is this
bird extinct
no well uh is this bird found in america
yes is it a whipper whale no
uh a sparrow no a robin
no a thrush no
uh wait a minute dennis is this a very
large bird
yes an eagle no a buzzard
no a hawk no well now look dennis does
that wait a minute don hold it hold it i
think i've got it
dennis does this bird go to capistrano
quite
frequently yeah yeah it's a swallow
no
[Music]
no no does everybody give up i do
no i give up me too what is it what's a
pigeon
walter walter pigeon
dennis how can you say he's a bird i
read in the paper where he just flew to
new york
all right dennis you thought he was a
bird because his name is pigeon and he
just flew to new york how can you say
that he frequently goes to capistrano
his mother lives there
dana that's the silliest jack it's your
turn now i know and i've got a good one
you'll never get this one
go ahead all you smart guys start
guessing okay jack is it animal mineral
or vegetable
animal uh is it alive yes a human being
yes has it got a mustache yes my sister
babe
[Music]
mary stop i'm trying to be serious
[Music]
now go ahead and guess well now let's
see he's a man with a mustache
is he in show business yes does he make
pictures yes
is one of his pictures currently showing
yes i know
he's herman quigley the assistant
cameraman on the picture of the glass
menagerie
gee that's right how in the world did
you ever
guess herman quigley it was obvious
obvious yes just before you went to new
york you ran into him as the brown derby
he had forgotten his wallet you loaned
him a dollar and a half and he's been on
your mind ever since
yeah gee i i hope he i hope he pays me
back the money
look his watch doesn't even keep good
time
for heaven's sake jack do you mean to
say you kept the man's wristwatch for a
dollar
business is business it's your turn don
well you better skip me for a few
minutes i want to go back to my
compartment and see if the porter took
all the dishes out
now why is it whenever we're on a train
you never eat in the diner you always
have your meal serving your compartment
my wife makes me do that
why she doesn't want people to see what
a pig i am
oh well i don't blame her we'll hurry
back down so we can continue with the
game okay
hey kids kids i'm glad don's gone i got
a trick i want to play on
yeah yeah what is it well look you know
you're so don
you know he's always thinking about
lucky strike so when we play the game
again with his turn he's sure to pick
lucky
and we'll make believe we can't guess it
well not make you so sure you'll pick
lucky's stride because he never thinks
of anything else
in fact when he went on his honeymoon he
registered at the hotel as don wilson
and cigarette
so remember when he comes back we'll
trick him see mr benny do you think
that's much fun
you mean tricking don no going on a
honeymoon with a cigarette
oh keep quiet that's him don't forget
kid
come in oh it's phil hi jackson dennis
hello libby how's the little lady who
makes this train more
super than the chief hello
phil hey phil where have you been
keeping yourself oh me and some of the
musicians are having a little fun
in my drawing room we're playing a game
called two questions no no phil you mean
20 questions
no two questions ginger ale or straight
i should have known i haven't seen you
since you fell off at kansas city
coming or going phil you
you fell off going to jackson i got to
do things to make people laugh i'm still
looking for a sponsor you know
wow well lee still got back on remley
missed the train entirely in chicago
well you can blame that on jackson's
program
on my program yeah they keep hollering
be happy go lucky and remily over does
it
well look phil whether he overdoes it or
not as soon as we arrive in los angeles
we're going right to the studio for
rehearsal
and if he isn't there i'm going to dock
him two weeks salary you can't scare rem
with that kind of stuff he comes from
a very wealthy family oh i didn't know
that sure
his father made a fortune growing sweet
potatoes sweet potatoes he's got the
biggest yam plantation in texas
oh what he said he said yeah
[Music]
now look phil this is as good a time as
any to tell you
i'm not looking i'm not gonna
i'm not gonna complain about remy or the
rest of your boys on radio nobody can
see him
but what are you going to do when you go
on television i don't bother me jackson
i'm not going on television until they
make them screens bigger
but philly already have 20 inch screens
i know dad but if they don't get harris
life-sized you're being robbed
oh i'm sure of that anyway when i do go
on tv jackson i'll tell you one thing
i'd like to have a cast like
you had on your first show yeah dinosaur
rochester don wilson the sportsman mel
blanc and mr kitzel you know something
jackson
i realize that that mr kitzel is popular
but can you imagine them making a
television station and naming it after
him
a television station yeah right in los
angeles channel 2
kitzel that's ktsf
natural mistake for a chap who fell off
at kansas city
yeah yeah what's going on kids i'll see
you later
bye bye phil now kid don't forget we're
going to
hey dennis yeah hey kid i almost forgot
my arranger wants to know what song
you're going to sing on the show next
sunday oh i'm going to do frosty the
snowman here's the music that ain't
gonna do me no good you sing it to me
and i'll sing it to my arranger
oh fine go ahead dennis okay
frosty the snowman was a jolly happy
soul
with a corncob pipe and a button nose
and two eyes made out of coal
frosty the snowman is a fairy tale they
say
he was made of snow but the children
know how he came to
life one day there must have been
some magic in that old silk hat they
found
or when they placed it on his head he
began to
dance around oh frosty
the snowman was alive as he could be
and the children say he could laugh and
play just the same as
you and me
[Music]
frosty the snowman knew the sun
was hot that day so he said let's run
and we'll have some fun now before i
melt away oh down to
the village where the broomstick in my
hand
let's run here and there all around the
square plane catch me
if you can he led them down the streets
of town right to the traffic cop
and he only paused the moment when he
heard him holler stuff
roughy the snowman had to hurry
on his way but he waved goodbye
saying don't you cry i'll be back again
someday
i'll be back again someday you better
that was a beautiful song what's it from
well didn't you see my new picture i'll
get by made by 20th century fox with
june haver bill lundgren gloria haven
and me
oh is that where the song comes from no
but i thought i'd plug my picture
dennis i saw your picture in new york
and i thought you were wonderful in it
well naturally you'd say that you're
nuts about me
look she is now what are you trying to
do break us up
dennis when mary pays you a compliment
why don't you just
oh kids that must be don remember the
trick we're going to play on them okay
what is it again look when it's his turn
nobody guessed that it's lucky strike
because that's what he'll give us come
in
well hi kids you're still playing 20
questions yes don you're just some time
it's your turn
ah good i've already got something in
mind start guessing okay
is it a living thing no uh is it a
manufactured article
yes does it mother live in capistrano
don't waste questions that's not a
wasted question it's also found in
capistrano
oh really well tell me don
get this married don is this thing
you're thinking of nearly three inches
long
about a half inch thick and white in
color yes yes
is it round and firm and fully packed
yes yes ah
it's amazing the way you people are
guessing it is it free and easy on the
drawer
yes yes now come on come on you're
getting warmer you're getting warmer
an electric blanket
no see i i thought it was an electric
blanket too didn't you marry
oh yeah yes i did well look um
look don is this thing you're talking
about associated with the letters
lsmft yes yes yes that's it yeah
now let's this is too hard
i give up i do too me too oh for
heaven's sakes kids how can you possibly
give up when you're so close
when you guessed it was almost three
inches long and white in color i was
sure you knew what it was
well we don't dawn do we marry come on
tell us what is it
oh all right it's a piece of chalk
a piece of chalk don wilson you were
thinking of a lucky strike and you know
it no i wasn't jacked now wait a minute
don
i'll admit that chalk is white and can
be three inches long i'll also admit
that it's round and firm and fully
packed
but how in the name of speedy rigs are
the letters lsmft
associated with a piece of chalk but
they are jag
lsmft stands for lieberweb sanders
mcintyre findlay and tidal bomb
the biggest truck manufacturers in the
world
you're not bad are you jack no no don in
fact i've got to give you credit
you've got a lot of brain but then it
takes a lot to fill that big fat head of
you
oh come on let's get on with the game
whose turn is it now
nobody i'm not playing anymore
i'm going to club car and read for a
while see you later
largest chalk manufacturer in the world
don just made that up
[Music]
libra with sanders mcintyre finley and
title bound
that's almost as far fetched as baton
barton durston
and little old osborne
[Laughter]
be happy go lucky be happy
lucky strike today
hey we'll be in albuquerque soon it'll
be 126
worth of my ticket used up
be happy go lucky yeah i didn't think
the club car was so
oh oh pardon me lady why certainly
say you're jack benny aren't you why yes
yes ma'am i am mr benny would you mind
autographing this magazine for my
granddaughter
your granddaughter oh i'll be glad to
there you are
are you going to los angeles yes i'm
going to visit my son in beverly hills
perhaps you know him he's a competitor
of yours
oh oh is he a comedian no he owns the
laundry
oh oh he's an awfully good boy
he's having me come all the way out from
chicago just to celebrate my birthday
that's tomorrow oh how nice how old will
you be
[Music]
39.
lady you're teasing me yes i am
i'm really 72. then why why do you tell
people you're 39.
it gets lost
oh all i see well goodbye
thanks for the autograph you're welcome
goodbye
uh that's my fountain pen oh
here you are gee she's a sweet lady
what she needs with a pen that writes
underwater i'll never know
be happy go lucky
yeah california sure nice place to live
sam
oh there's rochester he's in there
talking to the porter i'm gonna stay
here and listen to this
how long you've been working for mr
benny rochester 12 years
six months and 14 weeks well how come
you know the times for exactly
my friend when you're in mr penny's
employer you don't get money you get
service stripes
[Music]
won't you leave him oh i'd never leave
mr penny he may have his fault but deep
down inside he's the kindest man i know
really yeah i'll never forget the time i
had pneumonia
i was so sick for a full week i had 105
fevers
and all that time mr benny stayed right
with me fed me and nursed me
no kidding and then at two o'clock one
morning i passed the crisis
my fever broke and my temperature went
down to normal the boss looked at me
smiled and said rochester you're going
to be all right
then he yanked me out of bed and shoved
the broom in my hand
what's he complaining about the house
wasn't swept in a week
you know rochester this ain't the first
time mr bennett has been on one of my
cars
i made this trip with him across the
country several times
man it's murder
i know oh i don't mind the fact that
they don't tip
much but whenever he's on board the
train is always
15 to 20 minutes late a couple of years
ago he insisted that the train make an
unscheduled stop at newton kansas
then once he made it stop for a half
hour at gallup new mexico
once he set the super chief back a whole
hour when he got off at trinidad
colorado
now this trip i heard him tell the
conductor to make another unscheduled
stop
at flagstaff arizona yeah yeah
hey he got relatives in all them places
no bank
i accounts you wouldn't discuss my
private affairs
well i just i can't understand why mr
bennett keeps saving his money like this
he's not married he's got no family
no children who's he gonna leave it to
what makes you think he's going to leave
it
rochester huh oh hello rochester i heard
what you were saying and if you don't
behave yourself you're not going to get
that new gold stripe for christmas
i'll be up in the club car in case you
want to see me yes sir
talks about it everybody see i'm doing a
lot of traveling this year
as soon as i get home i have to start
packing to go to london for the command
performance
dinosaur is going to i've only appeared
at one other command performance in my
life
i was at my sponsor's birthday party
i hope the one in london will be
different maybe they'll let me mingle
with the guests
be happy go lucky be happy
lucky strike today
gee they changed the whistle on the
train just for me
guys are a lot of celebrities on this
train gary cooper
irene dunn i mustn't forget to say good
night miss dunn
he must be sick of that irene stuff
oh look at that cute little boy hello
little boy
hello mister what's your name
say aren't you jack benny why yes yes i
am i saw you on television saturday
night you did
uh-huh i heard you play your violin
thanks very much
thank you you're thanking me for playing
the violin
yeah sunday my mom let me stop taking
lessons
well goodbye little boy goodbye mr benny
and thanks again you're welcome you're
welcome
see the club car is crowded oh there's a
bacon seat next to that man over there
excuse me mister do you mind if i sit
here no no no not at all glad to have
company
thank you well here's a late newspaper i
think i'll
yes you're exciting out on the road i'm
traveling for watson's woolen underwear
watson's woolen underwear sure i must
have heard about free advertise on the
radio
watson's woolens picture snug keeps you
warm is it bugging the rug one flap
button instead of you watching what is
it
for you kid
yes i know that program it features
spade cooley and his itchy seven
how's business well that's the good even
better than chicago last week why
chicago's been a great underwear town
windy city you know
yeah i know i know yeah yep i was just
probably just two days walked into the
buy of the bond time department or
spread my entire line
all over his office that man wouldn't
even look at it
too bad buy a share can he's had a few
old-fashioned
that's trouble with this world too much
progress i used to carry a line of
underwear and all they were interested
in was whether it had small flaps or
large flats
but today i want to know whether it got
a 16 or 20 inch screen
times have changed yep finals to
channels
i know what you mean you in underwear
too
not today it's too warm have you been in
the underwear business very long mr uh
mr hey mr lane have you been in the
underwear business very long
oh just a few months i used to call for
the firm of lebowitz sanders mcintyre
findlay inside about
oh yes the chalk manufacturer hey you've
been around
oh i've traveled a bit well come on mr
lane that's long i'm proud there's not
talk to you there don't forget now
watson's woolens pictures not keep you
warm with a bug in a rug
one flap button instead of two watson's
woman's in the buy for you characters
see what an eager beaver
well i think i'll go to bed we arrive in
los angeles so early
yeah no doubt about it sam you sure have
an interesting job
rochester still talking to that porter
yeah you're right rochester i've been
across this continent over a hundred
times
gosh you must know every inch of this
yeah and america is an amazing country
it has harlem on the east coast central
avenue on the west coast
and all that waste in between
and it's the truth well sam don't forget
our date
the first saturday night you're in los
angeles we'll go out with those two
girlfriends of yours
okay up first we'll have dinner then
we'll take them to the hollywood bowl
yeah but rochester this time of year
there's nothing going on at the
hollywood bowl
we'll change that
all right sir yes rochester i'm going to
bed make sure that my luggage is all
ready when i get off in los
angeles tomorrow i will good night boys
good night oh mr vinnie
yes uh you're going to get off at los
angeles or pasadena
uh pasadena i always get a bigger
reception there
good night
ladies and gentlemen the right and duty
to vote in national and local elections
is basic to our american heritage
especially this year with the eyes of
the world and the united states
every american should go to the polls
and demonstrate the vigor
of american free government remember
that freedom
is everybody's job thank you
jack we'll be back in just a moment but
first everybody be
happy go lucky and let's take a musical
poll on the outcome of tuesday's
[Applause]
[Music]
elections
republican or democrat or both all right
with me
but i say vote for lucky striker
to get the voters to the polls in rain
or when it shines
i thank the mildest and rich taste that
lucky strike combined
today yes light up a lucky and enjoy the
happy blending of perfect mildness and
rich
taste in one great cigarette lucky
strike yes you'll always enjoy lucky's
greater mildness
you know scientific tests confirmed by
three independent consulting
laboratories
prove lucky strike is milder than any
other principal brand
and you'll always enjoy the full rich
taste of fine tobacco
because ls mft lucky strike means fine
tobacco
so next time you buy cigarettes try a
carton of lucky strike
and be happy go lucky be happy
ladies and gentlemen next sunday we're
going to have a special guest star
richard widmart
who comes to us with a courtesy of 20th
century fox this studio 20th century fox
released the daryl
f xanax production all about eve 20th
century fox would also like me to
mention that they did not make the horn
blows at midnight
tonight folks and don't forget to get
out and vote tuesday
be sure to hear dennis day in a day in
the life of democrats
thank you very much follows immediately
this is cbs the columbia broadcasting
system