yes it's the check penny our with his
guest stars Bob Hope the Beach Boys his
special guest Elka summer and here he is
the star of our show and here he is the
star of our show Jack Benny
[Music]
[Applause]
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what I am I've seen long entrances but
this is ridiculous
[Applause]
[Music]
you're not even halfway knees already
traveled further than the fugitive
if we have to watch walking let's watch
something to walk prettier elke sommer
you know it's nice to be working on a
show with you again thank you Bob
and you're certainly doing all right
what an impression you've made in
America
you've only been over here a few years
and they're making a whole TV series
about you
oh really about me yes the long hot
summer Bob it's not very funny you know
but it'll have to do until the jockey
Longden of the comedian's gets here
thanking him so long well I don't know I
think he stopped to make a night deposit
gentlemen much as we hate to interrupt
this entrance here's the word from the
sponsor
a day begins for Eastern Airlines
another busy day this day 200,000
Americans will fly one out of every six
on Eastern Eastern will service over 80
percent of America's industrial area and
the capital cities of Canada the United
States Mexico Bermuda and Puerto Rico
[Applause]
on this day on any day we will carry
more people than all of one of the
world's airlines
Eastern an airline with a big day's work
to do
[Music]
thank you thank you very much ladies and
gentlemen and welcome to the show it was
so nice out tonight that I decided to
walk back I walk all the way from my
home in Beverly Hills here to the studio
and it's good for me you see because it
gives me rosy cheeks and this show being
in color makes that very very important
because the last time I did a show in
color I didn't walk so in order to make
sure I had rosy cheeks they used a
different system just before I went on
they had the stage manager choke me
[Applause]
now you know I used to do half-hour
shows all the time and this show tonight
of course is a special that is they call
it a special it's not a special at all
it's an hour short they always make a
big thing and that's it's all it is as
to half hours put together it's not
special to me a special is when coffee
goes from 85 cents to 70
that's a special this is a television
show and I hope you all enjoy it and I
think you will enjoy the program because
tonight because in putting this show
together we didn't just stop with our
wonderful guest stars like Bob Hope and
Elka summer and the Beach Boys in
addition to that I went out of my way to
make sure that the show would have all
of those elements that are so popular on
television today so would you please
would you please open the curtain
[Music]
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when yesterday bunny gee I forgot to ask
him when the funeral is father I've got
something to tell you
don't bother me tell your mother the
land look at the lamp
I got married today mule deer yes I
married a wish
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please fight me
who are you and why are you running I
dock your thimble
I've got to keep running from city to
city always on the run never a place to
stop they're after me they're after me
who's that
do you the doctors I voted for Medicare
your mother has a fever
there you go are you a doctor too why no
I'm secret agent double-oh eight nine
seven two
[Music]
we can do anything
we did it
[Music]
[Applause]
yeah my father is now coholic and just
likes my mother and my sister got a
divorce from her husband my children and
despite with every one of them they must
come from hating please I didn't come
here to arrest anybody then what is all
this hullabaloo
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
on the curtain please close it yourself
for those of you who didn't see your
favorite program naturally we couldn't
cover everything but now getting on with
the show
I'd like to what it is well evidently
that long walk didn't quite do it I have
to go back and have the stage manager
choke me a little ladies and gentlemen
you'll be entertained by one of our most
popular singing groups the Beach Boys
[Applause]
[Music]
and girls with the way they talk they
have me out
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[Applause]
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I think a fridge
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I wonder if this the right spot better
be because we're on again I can hardly
wait to get out there and hang ten
you know this is my favorite sport next
to skydiving I press my cutoff
you said it
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
drove up looks like a couple of senior
citizen dropouts hey wheel looks like a
done miracle and go with a flat shoe no
I think freshman mill hey wait would you
make that out of we started out with a
shopping cart how did you get all that
shiny metal we ran into that guy in the
white horse who cleans laundry
[Applause]
I come to the floorboards we sit low
it's the only way we can stop real
dragon find the car we want to use our
board
I'll tell us where the big ones are
breaking you you don't know this part of
the ocean now we've been doing our
surfing at Arrowhead that's the lake
yeah how do you get your waves we got
our own jacuzzi
[Applause]
hey maybe you guys would like to join
our club you really turn on man
yeah serpent Club that sounds real cool
yeah one of the dudes seventeen fifty
years seventeen fifty what does that
include
well let's start with you get an emblem
to put on your surfboard
Danny's surfing reports and a chenille
string so you can drive between your
toes
I get it started like dental floss
for 1450 1750
[Applause]
it's also entitled to one rescue a year
you mean if I catch a tip and get wiped
out in the ocean I don't even know what
that means you've seen the five Kitchen
follow this you mean and get wiped out
in the ocean you gotta take water with
your man you mean one of you guys would
swim up rescue me only if you have your
membership card would man murdered
carrying this board yeah but think how
much harder would be if our heads word
flat hop
[Applause]
[Music]
the whole ways of this romantic
Caribbean resort deckled the splendor of
Spain's Golden Age you might never have
discovered it but he has he's a travel
agent he's in the business of knowing
where to stay what to see what to do and
how much you'll probably spend
[Music]
the travel agent in your town is a good
neighbor to know he can whisk you after
sunspots like Mexico Florida Bermuda and
the Caribbean with a minimum of time and
trouble at Eastern Airlines we work
closely with because we know that the
best trips begin with a short trip to
your travel agent
[Music]
you know ladies and gentlemen there's a
rule in the theatre that every show
should be graced with beauty and since
the sponsor didn't think I met those
requirements myself it's my pleasure now
to introduce the International motion
picture star miss elke sommer
let me look at you a minute isn't she
beautiful
[Applause]
no we did you ever see anyone in your
life who looked jack this is
embarrassing what's embarrassing I was
complimenting you well I know and I
appreciate it I mean any girl would but
I think that physical appearances are
overemphasized you do yeah they're also
nice to be recognized for other things
like personalities or their talents or
their education not for instance in my
case I think the fact that I speak five
languages is much more important than my
physical appearance don't you
[Applause]
okay would you mind repeating that the
fact that I speak five languages is the
important thing
elke Georgie Jessel speaks eight
languages I've yet to hear anyone
whistle ever even when he's wearing a
bikini
yeah I'm really impressed you you speak
five languages French Italian German
Spanish and English yeah it's wonderful
you know I've traveled so much through
Europe and yet I don't know anything but
English you miss so much you really do
for instance whenever I went to Italy I
kept hearing one phrase all the time I
kept hearing people say to be quanto
pool qualcuno Esther a tanto Turkey oh
now what does that mean
Missi come on Tupac like uno Esther
returned to TV ah that means how can a
man be so cheap
[Applause]
[Music]
I don't know it sounded so nice in
Italian French I know
explain it to me you got a grip like my
stage manager I'd love to stand here
talking to you but it's time for your
song now and you have exactly two
seconds to change your dress spray your
throat and get ready to sing but Jack
that's impossible
but elke it's a number from your new MGM
record album well in that case I'll
manage
[Applause]
[Music]
last year I went to Spain to find
romance I looked and looked in back
until by chance in our Madrid I met him
I took one look and there's our lips met
in
[Music]
I told myself this time
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the place
[Music]
take it from me and keep both of your
feet on the ground
[Music]
[Applause]
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your carriage onto it
[Music]
from me and
[Music]
you know ladies and gentlemen this is
the first season very since it's Betty
yes oh yes Betty I'm your travel agent
and I want to talk to you about the trip
you've booked from New York to Miami on
Eastern Airlines well look I'm in the
middle of a show right now and I'm not
going anyway for two weeks yet oh I know
but he's didn't want you to be
completely satisfied look a plane trip
is a plane trip not when you fly Eastern
mr. Crawford
he's your Eastern ticket agent Nadia B
has your tickets Oh mrs. Benny flies at
a discount family plan you know
good good
you have a show okay right now look at
girl I got a sure to do now these will
be your stewardesses they're thoroughly
trained and they can answer any
questions you might have about the plane
or the flight see bit you're perfectly
comfortable oh and they've taken a
special course to teach them how to say
coffee tea or milk
I may have a little immediate
Oh captain now this is your captain I
see first officer and second officer
they're part of a team that's
established one of the best um time
records near and they'll bring you
gently down in your Eastern jet mmm and
mr. Binney yeah if you even feel the
flame land you just tell me and I'll do
it all over again
oh I will
all these people there just to make
little old me happy
oh not only you mr. Benny at Eastern
every passenger is king and you'll dine
like one too gentlemen dinner on your
famous restaurants life will be prepared
by the chef
that's wonderful but what are you
looking for I mean the orchestra isn't
there dancing Oh Lawrence
[Music]
such a big airline only a three-piece
tortoise
[Music]
how about that commercial
I've done poll shows with fewer people
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen before I bring back
the Beach Boys there's something I'd
like to tell you immediately after this
show is over
I'm flying to London for a command
performance for the Queen of England
I don't want to brag but this is not the
first time I've already done three
command performances the first time I
entertained Her Majesty was at
Buckingham Palace the second time I
entertained the Queen was at the
Palladium and a third time I played Oh
promise me at her sister's wedding their
customs are so different from ours
we only throw things at the bride and
groom
[Applause]
wait a second
really looking forward to this trip
because I love England and every time
I'm over there I always make it a point
to visit stratford-on-avon see people
come from all over the world to
Stratford and I don't blame them they've
got the most wonderful pancake house
there
no wonder Shakespeare was so fast but
you know one of the reason that I love
to do these
why he color again whoa then why are you
doing it shut up I were to hear the
Beach Boys
[Applause]
I can take a hint
ladies and gentlemen once again the
singing number from their new album the
beach boy
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[Music]
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[Music]
Marylou
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[Music]
you know when television show and you do
it conscientiously you're constantly
changing and improving and you never
know when or where the reason for these
changes may come as a matter of fact
this show tonight a change came about
quite by accident when on a purely
personal matter I went to see one of the
most important men in our business Walt
Disney well I don't let's don't forget
that darn cat the title the pictures
important thing we got to punch it yeah
is here to see you Jack Benny send them
in wonder what he wants
well I thought he was still mad at you
for not using him in Snow White in the
Seven Dwarves finally got through to him
it was a cartoon Oh Jack hi wall good to
see you thank you thank you this is a
real pleasant surprise you know you
don't come around here very long no what
a beautiful studio you have here in this
office well I think after Mary Poppins I
can afford a redo now Esmeralda be quiet
okay everybody around here calls me wall
I know a jack what's on your money well
Walt is he tomorrow I'm doing an hour
television show with a large cast and
crew and I thought that instead of
taking him to dinner after the show at
the Bistro or Chasen's that just for a
change I thought it'd be kind of nice if
I took them through Disneyland that is
if it's all right with you Oh Jack I
think it's a wonderful idea how many
people are there a hundred and ten
that's not too many it no no max we have
a special department that handles large
groups at the discount a discount yeah
that means I know what it means
look wow I was thinking you know with a
big show like mine I wind up with
practically nothing 10 people I mean
even with them with a discount really
run into and since you see the fact that
you own the place
maybe one big happy family
yeah whatever you can say to me you can
say in front of him
the walk and I was saying as I was
saying my pussycat
[Applause]
Wow and I was saying it'd be a hundred
and ten Oh incidentally did you ever get
those four complimentary tickets I sent
you to one of my television show oh yes
Jack thank you you know I almost
forgotten that was about nine years ago
what yeah and I was saying I'm taking a
hundred and ten people to Disneyland Oh
Oh what I must tell you I think it's
just so wonderful the way you're always
taking groups of poor underprivileged
children through Disneyland free of
charge Jack we don't publicize that how
did you know my sister's kid went one
[Laughter]
yeah wonderful time to pop me back some
candy and everything now
it's silly to keep beating around the
bush what I was wondering was wait a
minute Jackson I think I'm getting the
idea you want a hundred and ten free
tickets well I had no idea that's what
you wanted see here wait a minute Jack I
seem to recall that when Disneyland
first opened I gave you a 14 karat solid
gold past lifetime pass today yes you
didn't give me a solid gold pass well
where is it here hey listen you've been
so nice to me I'm going to do something
for you yeah what's that well you know
how important it is when a motion
picture is publicized on a television
show oh yes I certainly do well I'll get
my show tomorrow night I have a
beautiful foreign actress and we're
going to do a foreign film you know like
they do in Italy an Italian film and I'm
gonna rewrite the whole thing so that it
has a sort of a Walt Disney approach
well Jack I don't know how you can
possibly apply my moviemaking approach
to a foreign field I mean everyone I see
seems to be so earthy so full of basic
raw emotion that's true that's true wall
but don't worry about it it'll work out
huh but there's such short time would it
be a problem not when you're as creative
as I am
he's living and the wonderful world of
Benny Oh worry about a thing it'll be
great and thanks so much for the ticket
always glad to help a friend in need Jax
goodbye I would guess thinking now my
wife Mary she's not on my show but she's
never been to Disneyland
[Music]
my approach an Italian movie yes we'll
have to see
well ladies and gentlemen the sketch
you're going to see will be a little
different than the way we originally
planned because I made some revisions to
keep my promise to Walt Disney and we're
going to do it immediately after a word
from our sponsor it takes people to make
an airline go good people these are the
people of Eastern a captain bringing you
home on time a stewardess caring for
your smallest needs a weatherman guiding
your pilot to an easier route a
craftsman working to microscopic
tolerances people Eastern people
[Applause]
fly with the people of Eastern see how
much better an airline can be
[Music]
please the bumpiness not so much it
kimochi your mom another pack
Oh where's your papa I'm afraid I'm
afraid here my little peep
novels I'm a cold the chauffeur to pick
up my bags the chauffeur my cello come
up here right away
no I can't take this one look she's
wrinkled
well do what you always do Angelina you
put it on you take a deep breath and she
the press from the inside how many times
I gotta tell you your mama's a go to
spend the summer with her sister in
Napoli that's where your mama's a go-go
don't worry yesterday your mama she's a
call agency they're gonna send over a
governess Donald take the bambinos outta
here while I finish packing come on baby
I get you a frozen banana who's there
oh it's Amelia my cello
[Applause]
how long do you think it will take to
get it to the airport all about the 45
aminos oh no that's a pretty crowded
[Music]
wherever I work it's the same thing
please you're mashing my mustache well I
have to do something you didn't have a
car she's getting late I don't know
every time I'm our shadow does something
for Angelina it takes them a long time I
don't know where she keeping Massa be
the governess funny did there's a nobody
[Music]
[Applause]
[Laughter]
who are you my name is Maria papa Nina
Maria puffin Neely that's a nice and
name I understand you need a governess
yeah you see my wife she's gonna be gone
three whole months and that's a long
long time I put this away
[Applause]
[Laughter]
[Applause]
[Laughter]
[Music]
you say your wife was going to be away
only three more you you are governor yes
but I am sorry I don't have any
references oh I can call your last
employ that's impossible
he's in prison for shooting his wife
he's a shooters wife you sure I was
there being interviewed when he did it a
shocking yes usually they wait a few
days
[Music]
to the airport my cello will take of me
my cello yes
when did he learn to drive
I learned to drive when I went with
Chrysler
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
you'll be
[Applause]
you-you-you need of a catch you need a
wrong avocation I wouldn't let you come
back not a one-day soup oh you a nice
mango salad when I go doing open in the
house that's a bad luck that's a bad a
lot for you
[Applause]
you go have a good time ciao ciao
I'm starting the Riu you had a hide you
had a hide in the closet that's all
right I'm used to it what would you like
it to drink well don't you think we
should discuss your children first
Bambino this is your new governess
Maria Papa means how do you do how do
you do would you like to play with that
oh no no no no no no it's time for you
to go to bed go play go play someplace
oh let's play here yes yes here's some
money go buy something have a good time
[Music]
everywhere I go it's a same ethey
[Music]
I'm cute how about some lunch oh that's
a good idea what can I fix for you you
fix lunch sure I want you to rest
look what would you like that I'll make
your favorite dish what you like the
best
well I like cheese G and my favorite is
mozzarella provolone experinece and
ricotta mozzarella provolone e partners
and record what kind of a dish is there
it's wonderful
listen and ricotta you should eat every
day and you should he do it let me know
and it's even good with pasta mozzarella
provolone e parmigiana
Parmesan pasta you can eat this
[Music]
the word
[Music]
[Applause]
and that's what you want look I go down
to the store and I get some mozzarella
provolone e/m but for three one
[Applause]
murder driving through traffic with a
hundred eighty pounds sitting on your
lap
[Laughter]
who are you I'm at the show fun for you
I'm the government and I think you cute
there goes Sunday no now please have a
respect for the uniform what kind of man
do you think I am
I cannot achieve on the boss's wife
myself you are so attractive
and so handsome and so strong and so
exciting and so masculine hey you left
out magnificent exquisite and humble
I've tired of speaking around the bush
kiss me
not bad for a governess non-supe tell a
heck of a bedtime story
don't kiss me
[Music]
[Applause]
I mean it's assigned us like this I lose
my job to American I'm so glad you're
back and you know why what I'm hungry
alright then I affixed you Raj just for
you enemy what about the children I send
them to camp guess what you want
mozzarella provolone a parmesan ricotta
take your time take your time
[Music]
- Marie Martin up there now where were
we like this marina I don't know which
or one of these are wines to serve Maria
what is his moustache was wrinkled and I
was pressing you can do me cheat on my
sword first
yeah but I have a better accent
no to me
[Applause]
[Music]
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[Music]
you
[Music]
see how everything fits in to finish off
the path
[Music]
[Applause]
it's Sunday in Mexico the Sun floods in
arena historic duel is on
the Sun spotlights a diver in Acapulco
referee's a children's game at the
pyramids of Teotihuacan the Sun warms a
beautiful mermaid in Puerto Rico and
covers the vacation paradise of Miami
[Music]
every year more people choose this one
to the Sun because Eastern service is as
warm as the destination
[Music]
[Applause]
well ladies and gentlemen that's our
show and I want to thank my guest stars
Bob Hope Elka summer and the Beach Boys
incidentally that sketch we did mr.
Benny mr. Benny yeah mr. Walt Disney
just sent someone over here to get his
tickets back look he gave me those
Disneyland tickets and I'm not giving
him back so fast
I wouldn't be too sure
[Applause]
the nightfall
[Applause]
[Music]
featured on to my jaw where Naomi
Stephens Lee Patterson Bill Baldwin Bob
Garrett John Ireland jr. Gerald
missional and Sylvia Moreno playing by
boy
[Music]
[Applause]