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Molly was the Jack Benny program with
this special guest Andy Williams
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thank you thank you very much ladies and
gentlemen and welcome to the show you
know last week when I finished my
program I had a drive to Salt Lake City
on business so naturally I had a drive
back home here and I must say that even
though it was pleasant and I love
automobile trips I always have trouble I
had the same trouble I always have I
can't seem to find a decent place to eat
I stopped at one place where they had a
sign that said you've seen them all over
that says good eat good evening
so I went right in goodies I didn't mind
that they had no tablecloth I didn't
mind the wooden knives and forks I
didn't even mind the cook pumping gas
with one hand and frying eggs with the
other but I must say I was a little
disheartened when I saw his wife
flipping pancakes with a flight's one
woody
then there's another cycle kills me it's
always you seen this one it's always on
a place 80 miles from nowhere and it
says Aunt Martha's world famous raisin
pie is locally in or not statewide but
world things
can you imagine right now at the United
Nations the speaker is talking about the
atomic bomb and the Ambassador from
Pakistan leans over and says to the
ambassador from Russia
I wish he'd finish his speech so we can
fly to East Bakersfield and have a piece
of Aunt Martha's raisin pie
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I'll tell you the next time I travel I'm
going back to what I usually do now
here's what I is what I do quite often
about 5:30 or 6:00 o'clock in the
evening you see I pull up at some
nice-looking house and I walk up to the
door and I say may I use your phone well
nine times out of ten they recognized me
and so they invited me to have supper
with me there's nothing like a real
home-cooked meal
that's good eat you know and you can
have a variety to like before you go up
to the house you see you look at the
name on the mailbox if it's Hungarian
yeah Hungarian food if it's Chinese
you'll get Chinese you ring the doorbell
you're hungry for now that's the way to
do now to get out with the program
ladies and gentlemen I want to introduce
my guest star a young fellow has become
one of the country's most popular
singing personalities mr. Andy Williams
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Landen I want to say first of all that
it's so nice having you on the show and
also I'd like to tell you that I've
always liked your style of singing well
thank you Jack thank you very much I
mean not only your style but the way you
of singing but the way you work you know
you're so relaxed and casual about
everything well Jack I've always had a
theory that to sell a song you don't
have to shout and sell all the time you
know that's very true because I know
that when I give concerts the softer I
play my violin the more they appreciate
I'll buy that
Jack I I want you to know one thing what
I was really terribly surprised when
your agent told me that you wanted me to
be on your show why well for years I've
heard that you wouldn't hire anybody who
had blue eye
boom I mean I don't know who starts
those ridiculous things well have you
ever had a guest on your show who did
have blue lines
certainly now Andy who take your time
all right
at last see we want to know something
for your information I had to pay our
$8,000 $8,000 see that's more than
you're paying me no we see when you
don't like a deal you merely complains
she bites
I am e the reason I wanted you on my
show is because I wanted you know ple
here you besides besides thing yes mr.
penny don't you remember us Oh for
heaven's sake Addie this is the
president and vice president of the Jack
Benny fan club Pasadena Chuck but ladies
look you know we're on the air right yes
all right I know we're on the air I can
only read the sign Emma that says exit
[Laughter]
look ladies you must have had something
on your mind when you came up here what
is well the reason we came down was we
heard Andy Williams was going to be on
your show and we felt that he's so
clever and so cute and just in that
sweater and we decided to knit you one
you made me a sweater huh here it is all
for heaven look at Hannah day
with my admission there's a small
religion and we done by my fan club
how long have you ladies been members
about a year and a half we joined with a
low and reach age limit take off your
jacket
oh yeah make me look button not Kelly
did be an issue
well Kelly did the initials Oh Tillie
Tillie were tough love worked on it some
of us knitted and some made buttonholes
and Matilda contribute to the buttons
uh-huh the the button they're hurt
gallstone
Kristen we didn't even know she had them
but one day she dived into the pool and
went right down to the bottom now that
we're here and I usually do not get here
well ask me what girls call this girl
god he's buying nobody's selling we
wondered it oh look he's got blue eyes
they're even bluer than mr. Fehmi Helen
would you want ladies and I'll take you
back to your seat mr. Williams would you
do us a favor would you dedicate your
number to the Pasadena fan club well
certainly I'll be happy to do that
hello do you hear that you thought he
wouldn't do it I know I haven't seen a
soda Jeeves is the customer that's
pythonic said don't worry about a thing
now Andy I'll take the ladies back to
their seats so you go into the number
you know the one from your Lou my fair
lady album oh all right jack there you
go thank you and belt it out Andy we
like it that way
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I've grown accustomed to she almost made
the day begin I have grown accustomed
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first her frown her downs are second
nature to me now like breathing out and
breathing I was really in depend on
content before we
surely I could always be that way again
and yes I've grown accustomed
custom to her voice a custom
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I'm very grateful she's alone and so
easy again rather like a habit one can
always break and yet grow accustomed
accustomed to her
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accustomed to
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Rochester ah what are you doing down
here asleep in my dressing room
you're supposed to be in the audience
laughing at my jokes I was in the
audience what when I fall asleep cause
you picked me up and turns me down
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Rochester I don't know what to do with
you in the first place
you you can't cook you're always give me
an argument you can't iron a shirt you
caused me a lot will you give me one
reason why I've kept you all these years
I don't blue eyes
alright alright I hear do me a favor
Williams put some cufflinks in my shirt
there okay but I have to wear it tonight
when I go to that opening all right see
that Andy is great boss what Oh since
you're not going home would it be all
right with you if I took the night off
why what do you want to do I'd like to
take my girlfriend Suzie Joe movie oh
well all right what time will you be
home I don't know what time will you be
home why well I'll get it about tennis
if you fall asleep well if I fall asleep
how will I know that you'll be home in
ten minutes
if I thought you knew we wouldn't be
discussing it I figure that the man oh
hey Jack I just wanted to say good night
to tell you how much I enjoy being on
your show oh well thank you Andy it was
wonderful happy well thank you very much
hey I'm going by your house on the way
home you want me to drop you off no no
thanks I'm not going home I'm I'm gonna
be working later on tonight working yes
you see I'm going to a make an
appearance at a big opening really yeah
thank you amazing you really do you know
when I finish my show all I can think
about is getting straight home
I lasted trouble with you young fellows
your careers come second
now Andy it's alright to spend time with
your family but you have to keep active
appearing in front of a public is
important
I do benefits concerts television shows
premieres these are the things that keep
you sharp that's why I'm doing this
opening tonight well you do have a point
there jack well of course I have a point
you know you've got to keep the public
aware of you you got to be seen hey Jack
what I hope I'm not intruding but do you
think it's possible if I came with you
tonight I mean I could sing a couple
songs at the opening
do you really wanna please well alright
have you got a tuxedo Oh certainly I am
well I'll tell you what we'll stop by
your house while you change you see and
they will rush right over to the premier
and say because you know the show goes
on in about a half hour I'll be ready
okay thanks Jack very cool welcome
you're welcome hey no kidding Jack
thanks a lot you're welcome thank you
thank you off to see the world there's
such a lot of world to see we're after
the same rainbows end waiting round the
bend my huckleberry friend
whoo
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Oh
ah
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alright folks you can shop around up or
while we're going to pray
aren't you glad you came God why didn't
you tell me this this was the opening of
meet mark there's an opening in an open
way keep going on your hands off well
it's the first time I've ever had a
refrigerator for addressing all right
you guys quit gabbing around here go out
there and mingle with the customers
mingle yeah yeah get out there that's
the that's the deal I made with them the
Nightfort you have to mingle we have to
mingle with the people well you mingle
with them Jack I'm going to sit down
here in red No
Oh mr. Benny may I have your autograph
Oh circular what can i what can I put it
on oh I'll write it right off here Benny
wait till I tell the girls it's Jack
Benny autographed my brisket you
autograph this for me please yes of
course uh telly are you enjoying the
show yes but you got more laughs last
month at the car wash
I know but look at getting my foot
caught in the chain was an accident
thank you Joe yeah
Joe do me a favor will you get rid of
these fish head oh man when you bought
them
pardon me Becca my friend and I were
just discussing aren't you Archibald
queen see I told you why would Andy
Williams be doing singing in a meat
market I wish I had an answer for that
we'll be working again pretty soon I
look at this time when you do your song
for a little more volume into it you're
all real strong well it's not my fault
jack just as there are very few butcher
shops with good acoustics
well some are better than others I hope
I never find out
I put the suit phones in your car okay
what about my chicken feet that I
ordered
you got them what in the world do you do
with chicken feet
I put the handles on them to make
wonderful backscratcher
we'll get up and work again for these
well I'm just going to get my violin
good here's me mister would you mind
holding my baby for just a second play
or not hey pal come on quit goofing off
you're supposed to be entertaining in
here then funds that the 495
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don't you think um all right folks all
right we're not going to send you with a
violin and singing duet now we're going
to what we give them
Andy well here it should be liver come
back to me you know you don't have to be
so sarcastic I mean you asked me to come
over here just makes me twice
ladies and gentlemen we're going to play
without a song with a song in my heart
with a song in my may I have a key yeah
thanks a lot with a song in my heart i
behold your door
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ladies and gentlemen I have a special
announcement to make during this song we
are going to have a little sale our lamb
chops are not going to be 80 90 pounds
they will be 59 cents a pound for the
length of this song only
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if I can just follow it with you in my
heart
well I don't know who the fiddler is but
the singer is Archibald Quayle ladies
and gentlemen we are now going to draw
for the turkey Horus when you follow and
the lucky number is oh two two nine
three seven oh sorry
hey-oh through two nine three step a
that's me exact I won the turkey and you
were the one that was complaining
Cape
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I
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