from Hollywood the Jack Benny program
Oh Wilson you finished playing already
only play nine holes Oh said they will
you see that these clubs are putting my
car please yes sir hi Donna
oh hi why'd you play so early well
confidentially every time I come into
the club later in the day I run into
Jack Benny and I wind up having to play
with I know what you mean jack is such a
poor sport always griping nobody in the
club wants to play with him but after
all Donny is your boss well that's the
worst part of it every time I beat him
he cuts my salary draws far my standard
and living or going down together all
right auntie hi father say you are
looking for a fourth how about joining
us oh no no I just finished come on go
around again oh no no I'm too tired but
thanks anyway fellas L okay now let's go
upstairs and see if we can find somebody
to play with us hi fellas sorry jack all
filled up
what's with those guys nobody shakes
hands anymore everybody runs hey huh
Oh Jack you got a game I just finished
well why do you play so early
well I uh I yeah well I I like to play
early in the morning when the grass is
damp and it's chilly and foggy and cold
sorry I can't play with it Jack that's
all right I'm uh I'm playing with the
pro anyway Eric Monty you know arish is
playing with you
yes sir hmm boom that would have been a
good run Oh Sydney yes sir Sydney will
you put some new spikes my other pair
golf shoes please well I'll be happy to
mr. Lowe I gotta wear the locker I'll
get them for you uh let's see must be in
here someplace
well uh why don't you take some of those
things out well that's a good idea
what happened to those golf shoes maybe
a oh no wonder I couldn't see him we're
on the butter keeper hard to believe
that he plays golf just to lose weight
I'll fix these for you right away mr.
wills oh thanks any oh and look if you
have time will you defrost my locker
Jack I'm sorry I can't play with you
today that's all right I love playing
with Eric money you know when you play
with a pro it makes you play better
yourself well there's our equal
very very sorry I'm all filled up you're
playing with me
oh yes Kiara come all excited about our
game today you're excited I didn't sleep
all night oh thank you thank you do you
think it'd be many on the course today I
don't think so
lately everybody's been playing early in
the morning when the grass is damp and
it's chilly it's foggy and cold
well I thought the idea the game was to
get some sunshine it used to be what
nothing uh-uh
Jack when you're dressed I'll meet you
on the first tee okay try and get
another couple so we can have a foursome
Illya
I'll try I'll try
$9.00 what's for Ali well Artie Stefan's
here just made a hole in one
aye sir dear dropped it in with a 3-iron
come on fellas come on into the bar the
drink
see that that party is a nice guy just
because he made a hole-in-one he's
buying drinks for everybody all Jack
being a nice guy has nothing to do with
it it's customary when you make a
hole-in-one you buy drinks for everybody
in the club for all the members the
Perseid soaks Benson reverie think she
must cost already a couple of hundred
dollars well that's the way it works
Jack it's an unwritten rule you make all
in one you have to buy the drinks well
then what are we waiting for come on
let's get out all right let me go
everybody
Oh Bob what's the never I mean idea has
to buy about 400 drinks one bottle isn't
gonna make any difference to Betty mr.
Benny
Eric Monty is waiting for you on the
first tee gee I better hurry hey Sydney
get me my golf shoes you playing today
yes we've only got a twosome Oh
wonderful do you mind if we join you
ever it has to finish early not at all
fellas glad to have you along Oh fine
who are we playing with Jack Benny oh
well maybe some other time
Erik's you get into the couple almost
well my 12t offer
yes go ahead yay
he's so breezy today maybe we'll get
some loft on this heat up a little
higher I guess high enough unless
breathe think I want to tee it any
higher higher looks like a lollipop now
yeah I guess it's high enough now I
don't feel comfortable well stop Rocking
well I'm not doing it purposely yeah Oh
for heaven's sake what do you be happen
you know when you paged me I changed my
shoes in such a hurry I put my art
supports in upside down
I feel like I'm standing on a gamble
I'll go and change my shoes you go ahead
and shoot
hey that was a good one yeah kind of
like that one
hey mr. Monty yes since this is our
guest day and you're only playing a
twosome would you mind if these two
gentlemen joined you they're from
Milwaukee no that's fine with me Alice
mr. Simpson mr. Herbert
Eric Monty all right nice to know you I
say Eric and this is Jack Benny Jack
Benny well this is a great pleasure
thank you
Jack Benny this is great to meet you
well thank you I hope you don't mind us
joining you no no the more the merrier
fellas play away well
wait a minute while we play for a little
money make it interesting
Eric and I'll stand you too all right
mr. Benny if you'd like to have a little
bit what did you have in mind
one two five how about making you 10 all
right with us 10 a home no no let's say
10 for the whole game yeah wow that
sounds a little better to me ok 10
dollars for the match no 10 cents well
Jack you certainly didn't make it
interesting
Joyner ah very good shot
say mr. Simpson do you mind if I make a
suggestion
not at all you've got your feet just a
little bit too far apart put him just a
little bit closer together Thanks
hey wait a minute Harry we're betting
against them don't try to help him for
heaven's sakes wait a minute
put your feet where they were
right down the middle Serbs well I guess
I'm next
misty this real highs
I told you you had a team - hi try it
again okay
oh that was much better yeah dad we have
a caddy today
I was patting again
let's see now we won the first hole you
and Eric won the second we have the
third I'm we mm but pardon me but did
anyone of you happen to play a ball of
mine back there by mistake it's a a Max
fly three I'm playing a Titleist six
mine's 8.4 mine's a Jo's driving range
number five
you got your ball from a driving range I
always do they're only fifty cents a
bucket you're supposed to hit them
they're off the practice tee Oh for
heaven's I thought they were selling
them the next time I go by there I must
leave their buckets
we've teed off you fellas go ahead okay
jack but don't you think you ought to
use a better ball yeah I guess so glad
you t-bird
oh hey look at that one go there key
here oh yeah here's on
I forgot I had my lunch in my bag and I
just hit a hard-boiled egg
here's a present for you a brand-new
ball Elian will you okay thanks
four four four
where'd it go I didn't see that well it
was a little to the right jack
over behind that hill we're all down the
middle Jackson we'll see you on the
green okay give me my 9-iron and you go
with that with you yeah yeah
little boy what a lie am I gonna get out
of this hole no yeah I found it
yeah fan it again you know to be cool
now he did
must be my imagination
I'm sorry I took so long fellas sorry
jack well you lie too - yes - you know
for a guy that stinks on the T and on
the green he certainly is sensational
behind a hill he always cheat like that
well he's not really cheating it's just
that he can't count and count that's
right
ask him his age will you be quiet while
I'm trying to putt I know we're playing
for money but if he can't win fair and
square
why don't you quit
come on Jack you're up okay
Jack the greens that way
listen that a flag yes but that's on top
of a schoolhouse oh yeah
what a silly place to have a flag hey
that was a pretty good Drive Jack about
a hundred and eighty yards yeah
Oh caddy pick up my tea will you
honey yeah it's broken
where is he now still in the rough well
let's put out Jody my Martin you Bob
please sure
well he finally made it good
in it
it's funny I'm mark my ball with a penny
I can't find it oh is that your Oh
my god let's see you make it Jack we
need it I'll make it
hey the ball is so dirty though look at
it is it alright if I clean it
yeah go ahead jack Thanks your ball was
back here it was not it was two-headed
mark with my eye your eye your eye what
is surveyor or something
unless you got a better on you get so
edgy this is a give anyway
you can t up your ball if I can do it
behind the hill I can do it here that's
how we did it huh I've had enough of him
let's get out of here sorry Eric but
we're going in
I don't know what those two guys got so
sore about yeah guess putt will you
Oh mr. Monty yes there's a call for you
at the clubhouse it must be urgent
because they sent me out to get you I'm
sorry to bother you in the middle of the
game
don't be sorry I told him to call me a
half hour ago I'll have to go right in
the middle of the game there's a phone
call for me oh well we'll play tomorrow
I'm gonna finish this game anyway come
on daddy
Kaddi that's a pretty short hole what do
you think I want to use here that's
about a hundred and thirty yards won't
you try your number 5-iron they can get
there with try it okay
hey good shot Wow look at him go
you made a hole-in-one yeah yeah I made
a hole in the wall
imagine that tools the one in the same
day first mr. Stebbins now you oh boy
wait'll everybody back in the clubhouse
hears that you made a hole-in-one oh boy
I can't wait Elaine
here's $5 keep your mouth shut
Jack will be back in just a moment but
first Jack I thought you told me you
gave that caddy five bucks to keep his
mouth shut I did well then how they find
out about it only I would run into a
talking squirrel
nevermind it's good night folks