from New York
City The Jack Benny Program with Jack
special guest JP Morgan and Frankie
Fontaine brought to you
by State Farm Mutual the careful drivers
and careful buyers Insurance Company
[Music]
now wait a minute I'm not going to be
that
good thank you very very much ladies and
gentlemen and welcome uh to our show I
must say first of all that I'm very very
happy to be back in New York City and
you know as a rule when entertainers
come here from the coast they always
give big parties you know for the
Press I know what you're
thinking for the press and for their
friends you see I remember when Bob Hope
was last here last year he gave a party
at the El
Morocco you see and Danny K gave one at
the stalk Club I gave mine at the
automat lot of people don't won't
believe this out of town but it's true
isn't it it's a true story and um and of
course at these big parties you know the
me the menus are limited you know it's
always the same thing either roast beef
for chicken or ham and there's nothing
you can do about it you see and my party
it was entirely different over there
everybody bought what they
wanted and the cutest thing of course
the cutest thing about it all came to
the automat dressed formally you see and
I had a being the host I had a stand
there at the uh at the door and greet
them and I felt so silly you know I look
so ridiculous and uh you know top hat
white tie and change
maker but it was a wonderful Affair and
everybody thought that the party was
much better than the one I gave last
year at the chalk full of nuts
but ladies and gentlemen I'm going to do
something now that I very seldom do at
home on a television show I have a few
very dear friends in the audience that
I'd like to introduce first I want you
to meet a very Charming young lady who
has made more money opening doors than a
safe cracker Miss Betty Fess she's
sitting right there Betty will you stand
thank you Betty and I have another very
dear friend of mine I'm so proud of the
fact that he came here to see my show he
is the producer star and director of one
of the greatest pictures that I have
ever witnessed in in my life a picture
called The Alamo and he's here Mr John
Wayne righte
John that it was really great and thanks
for the
pass and you know the reason why
introduce
me the reason that I like to
I hate hecklers you know the reason that
I'd like to I don't think it's better to
introduce them and not
me I'm your pal too you know I pal oh
wait a minute you're you're jaon J out G
jaon oh yeah
Mr saon just take a bow then and sit I
just took one I want to come up and
Shake you here no no I'm right in the
middle of a show now it'll only take a
minute excuse
me every time I come to New York exuse
me I run in I run into this
character Mr look Mr saboni the reason
of course that I didn't
introduce I can't look at him that's got
the reason I didn't introduce you you
see I didn't know that you were in the
uh in the how do you happen to see my
show well I tell you how it happened any
way I walking down the street I wasn't
doing anything just walking down the
street I wasn't doing anything I didn't
feel like doing anything just walking
down the street I was walking down the I
want to do
anything look Mr Leon it seems that
whenever I run into you're always
walking down the street not doing
anything
yeah but I I don't care I don't care
about that haven't you ever thought of
getting a job a job yeah it's funny you
should bring that up only this morning
while I was
shaving the mirror said to me hey you I
said who the mirror said you I said me
the mirror said
yeah why didn't you go out and get
yourself a job you good for nothing
bum now to me them's fighting word I can
understand that but I wasn't fool enough
to start anything the guy in the mirror
had a
[Music]
razor then I realize holy smoke that's
[Laughter]
me well listen I don't care about your
jobs just as long but you started to
tell me why you came here to see my show
yeah and and where was that you were
walking down the street was I doing
anything
no you never do anything and I don't
care I'm just happy that you came in to
see me that's all and I'm glad too I I
like your show Jack and you're my kind
of guy I am yeah you just walk out in
the stage and you just stand around you
don't do anything you just stand around
you don't do anything you just stand
around you don't
well I uh uh look well why all
right um uh look at U anyway I'm glad
that you came to see me and I can't talk
to you anymore you had the next line
anyway
so I got to go now where you where you
going I got to go I'm going over
Rockefeller Center and go ice skating
ice SK where are your skates I need I
got long
toenails
well well
anyway all right all right go go go I
there's the greatest argument I've ever
heard of for raising the school teacher
salaries
right and Now ladies and gentlemen I'd
like to present Jack will excuse me
minute pleas oh oh
God yes Jack you've been introducing all
these wonderful people from the audience
but there's one person you've
neglected uh a celebrity oh yes Jack a
real big celebrity who is he Mr Howard K
broy Howard K Broly who is he who is he
yeah why he's only the man who gave
State Farm Insurance the idea for the
theme the theme yes yes you know the uh
the auto horn that
goes oh oh oh yes the state life
insurance the the the horn that's right
that's right that's
right yeah the well and he thought of
that that's right he did he's in the a
yeah right down there Mr broy will you
take a vow please all right there he is
is
that and he's with the sponsor come up
here then if he's with the sponsor come
up I think that was a brilliant a
brilliant idea to think of he's a big
wheel in the organization in State Farm
and this is the gentleman who thought
who thought of the horn that's right
well well how do you do how do you do
sir what was that what did you say how
do you do
sir talk a little bit like the
horn oh yes Jack you see Mr broy is one
of the 7500 agents that State Farm has
all over the country just to serve you
isn't that right Mr broy yes we're the
[Music]
largest that's right jack you know State
Farm is the largest auto insurance
company in the world and they may even
save you 10 20 $30 or more on your car
insurance isn't that correct Mr broy for
all careful driv now cut that up
you know Don if you if you can get him
to do the gettysburger dress We Can
Dance Mr Proby has a little momento he'd
like to give a little gift yeah a little
gift there it is right there well what a
tiny little momento that's a miniature
music box Jack and look here's a pair of
tweezers now you go ahead and open it
yeah it is so small here wait a minute
well thank you very very much I want to
see
[Music]
[Laughter]
right now I'd like to save 10 20 or $30
on a hearing aid right Don go will you
and take this character with you Mr brly
come on
now I got an empty seat for that I got
an empty
seat ladies and
gentlemen uh I was started to say before
I was interrupted by Don Wilson and The
Sound of Music um that I would like to
present now my singing star this week
very charming and lovely singer of
popular song the recording star Miss JP
Morgan
[Music]
won't you come home Bill
Bailey won't you come
home she moan the
whole
day
long I'll do your cooking
Billy I'll pay your rent
I know I've done you
wrong remember that rainy evening I
threw you out you had nothing but a find
to
go well I know I'm to
blame ain't that a shame
I won't you please come on
home won't you come home B
Bailey come on come
home she the whole day
long I your cooking Bly I'll pay your
rent
I know I've done you
wrong remember that rainy evening when I
threw you out you had nothing but fine
to
go well I know
come on come
on
I'm I'm
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
Jay that was just lovely I watched a
little bit about on the Monitor and you
were so wonderful and it's so nice
having you on the show I'm glad to be
[Music]
here never mind we did that bit already
we're through with that but didn't we
have fun at rehearsals and everything it
wasn't a lot of fun you weren't nervous
or anything no we had so much fun and
you know I'm looking forward to our
dinner date tonight our dinner
date oh oh my goodness what's the matter
I feel awful do you know what J I forgot
all about our having dinner together
tonight and I made a an appointment I
have a business engagement I can't
possibly break oh I I feel terrible I I
don't know how it slipped your mind you
even wrote a little note about it I
remember it was the first day you were
in New York I wrote a
note oh yes that's right I I did write a
note I haven't seen it since I wrote it
I mean what did I do with it you put it
in your
wallet oh so that's where it's been oh
for heaven you know every time I want to
remember something I always I always
write a note and I put it away to keep
oh for he I'm so here here it is dinner
date with JP Morgan November 20th
1960 oh here's another note I wrote One
if by land two if by
Sea I don't know how that got in there
at all L thing but Jay I just feel
terrible that I that I should forget
about this don't worry about it I'll
just go back to my apartment make a
sandwich and maybe watch a little
television I know but I'm so embarrassed
I don't know what what to do but Jack
Jack yes John could could I speak to you
for a moment yes excuse me excuse me
yeah yeah wait a
minut John what is it
see sit down I'll see what I
can Jay look at as long as I can't take
you out would you I love
to wait till I
ask John I think I can fix it come on
John come up here a second
Jay Jay you know John Wayne don't you
yes hello
John with me she shook
hands well Jay since uh Jack can't take
you out tonight would you like to come
out and have dinner with me and maybe go
dancing later sound all right oh it
sounds wonderful well great I mean
you're sure you don't mind not at all
Jack believe
me it sure is a great sport is well look
at if that's okay you kids run along
then and don't don't worry about me run
along and have a good time we will Jack
and it's a shame you can't be with us
well I'd love to John really I would I
but I made this I have this business
engagement I
can't I have this business engagement
that I can't can't you see and that's
why that's why but otherwise I certainly
would have been with you but right along
have a good time I'll see you tomorrow
or the next day we go
ahead you know besides being such a
wonderful singer of songs she's a great
actress you notice the way she hid her
disappointment
at I wonder where a fellow like like
John Wayne were a star like that now if
he went out with a girl that even I
wonder where he would take her you know
yeah I bet they have a wonderful time
[Music]
together you know this certainly is an
unusual Place uh this is the first time
I've ever been in a gypsy restaurant
before me too but then I like to try
little out of the way places GE it's too
bad that Jack couldn't be with us
tonight do you really mean that no but
that's the thing you're so suppos
to good evening would you like for me to
read your
teing oh uh go ahead John well all right
now uh let me
see oh you will have great success in
the future you will make a lot of money
and and in next year you will take a
trip to Spain well thank
you oh you are
welcome you know when it comes to
reading tea leaves these gypsies are
great she's Sensational why because I
was having noodle
soup ladies and
gentlemen I hope you're all enjoying
your dinner now for Your Entertainment
held over for the second week the famous
Gypsy Trio Sasha p and Yasha
[Applause]
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[Music]
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you
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[Applause]
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Jack Jack
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you ladies and gentlemen I well
I'm out of breath from that I hope you
enjoyed the show I want to thank Frankie
Fontaine who played elsc saboni and also
Miss J JP Morgan for being on the show
and I do want to thank funny thing now
John Wayne even though we have both been
up we've been considered for the same
Parts in pictures we have still remained
friends John
way John just a minute Jack later you
know I'd like to get one thing straight
doubt I heard you say that we'd both
been considered for the same Parts in
pictures well I would say uh well how
about the Alamo were you considered for
my part in the Alamo the Alamo well no
no not the Alamo in stage coach were you
considered for that part Stage Coach no
no I wasn't considered for well then how
about Red River were you considered for
that Red River the movie or the Play the
movie the movie no no oh then you were
considered for the play
no look I've mentioned quite a few
pictures Jack I just don't know exactly
what you mean by that well I'll tell you
what I mean were you ever considered for
Joan Crawford's part in
Rain the movie or the play oh
oh the play It's Your word well I was
brother and anyway thanks very very much
l of for being on the
show Remember the Alamo Remember the
Alamo I was
there wasn't that nice of him just to
come up to do this little bit and he did
it for nothing he really did I was so to
do and ladies and gentlemen I'll be with
you next Sunday for lipon Te when my
guest star will be Joey
Bishop Jack by program is a J&M
production this Don wilon saying good
night the preceding program was
pre-recorded