from television City in Hollywood The
Jack Benny Program with Jack's guest
Phil
Harris brought to you by Lucky Strike
get the genuine article get the honest
Taste of a Lucky
[Music]
Strike
[Music]
the place engine room the cigarette
Lucky Strike this man's brand because he
wants the honest taste to fine to BAC in
lies he gets
[Music]
it sometimes a cigarette is your only
companion in that
case try lucky stripe it's mild but not
too mild with a taste that's fresh
smooth and Unforgettable never a man
could forget the taste of a genuine
cigarette get the honest t a maget like
the honest Taste of a lcky strike the
honest tast of a Lucky Strike get the
genuine article get the honest Taste of
a Lucky
Strike
[Applause]
well you'll be on just a few minutes
boss I know I know are you nervous no no
why should I be nervous after all this
is my ninth year on television that's
right nine years just imagine Rochester
9 years with lucky
strip what you laugh
when your sponsor broke that mirror he
thought you'd only be off for
[Music]
seven we pull a little way one one
minute one minute to air time one minute
well wish me luck good luck boss okay
good luck good you
up
[Music]
you're the boss who I can play like that
he kill
[Music]
me
thank you thank you very very much
ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the
Lucky Strike program you know I give
anything in the world if today we were
doing our program for New York from New
York City you know so I could see the
World Series because I'm nuts about
baseball I'm a great baseball fan Al I
did make a bet on the series you see
with Dennis day on this world series and
although I laid him 9 to5 I still think
I've got a good chance of winning you
see because I took the Boston Braves and
he took the Los Angela
[Music]
Dodger look right now he's sitting in
the Coliseum all
alone I wouldn't have even known about
it you he except that he called me up to
tell me that he sneaked in without a
[Music]
ticket but you know ladies and gentlemen
uh two weeks ago we did uh our first
program of the season and natur doing
the first oh there's an audience doing
the uh the first program of the Season
actually the shows were reviewed by all
of the critics and I have a couple of
the reviews here that I would like to
read to you I'm not a ham or anything
but I would like to read these one of
them says here after a summer of
miserable television shows Jack Benny
started
his
oh oh started his
season I thought Gary Cooper was
wonderful on the Benny show and I think
he deserves any salary the judge Awards
him and goes on saying a lot of other
nice things like that you see then I
have another review here that says I
always enjoy watching Mr Benny because
because he's not only humorous and
but you're Mr pardon you're Mr Ben yes I
hope well I hope I'm not late no no who
are you well I was the announcers Gill
sent me over here oh the announcement oh
oh For Heaven's Sake I forgot all about
it you know ladies and gentlemen Don
Wilson also kept couldn't be on this
show because he's doing this big show
this big play that's going to open in
New York and he's in Philadelphia right
now it's a big hit to he so he wanted to
fly over and couldn't make it so I
called the announcers Guild and they
sent me over this gentleman Mr Mr what
is the name oh it's Hunter an Elwood
Hunter why no no how you do yes I well
and you're going to do a little Comm a
little commercial gu well go right ahead
don't be don't be nervous thank you very
much ladies and gentlemen I feel that I
owe an apology to someone because when I
was given this assignment to come over
over here and do the Lucky Strike
commercial there was just one thing that
I forgot to
mention I don't
[Music]
smoke no I don't no that could be rather
awkward but I am an observant I see and
being observant I've noticed that all of
my friends smoke lucky stri oh good
[Music]
yeah isn't that nice and so being
inquisitive as long as as observative I
am why you know what what they told me
what they said they smoke Lucky Strikes
because a lucky is the genuine article
it's real tobacco and it's No Nonsense
no that No Nonsense I got to like that I
thought that was kind of cute that's
cute
yeah there was kind of another friend of
mine he said you likeed the honest tast
of a Lucky Strike and I kind of liked it
to because I was strong you see and then
there was another man and he said that
the minute he took out his packages oh
well naturally you you wouldn't you
wouldn't have any you don't smoke oh
here here here's right here just try one
I mean that's it thank you very much
liting
this that's it it's all
[Laughter]
right this friend of mine said that he
got so much
enjoyment see this is
good this is good yes well when my
friends tell me that the Lucky Strike is
my but not
no Unforgettable and all that right you
know just doubt about there is nothing
like the honest Taste of a lucky St yeah
the honest
taste I'm not going to give the rest of
these bags oh no
no oh yeah that's
[Music]
nice
[Applause]
that was the most
wonderful commercial all when he first
started the first thing he said I
thought this would be our last show of
the
Season
yes but anyway ladies and gentlemen uh
right now I'm really quite thrilled when
I present my guest St because even
though he's been with me for maybe 20
years on radio this is his first time
with me on the Lucky Strike television
show first appearance in about 9 years
with me on the Lucky Strike show and to
me is without a doubt the most dynamic
the most centilating all right you can
save it
[Applause]
[Music]
Jack talk about it you can relax all you
nice people now on this show is going to
be be all
downhill we don't need all them words I
mean one picture is worth a thousand
words and I am a living
[Music]
ramr in on me Daddy and let him see
those love lines I feel so
firm like watching a tennis
match Miss America w
I mean I mean what what now what what's
the idea of prancing why prancing
promise Jackson I promised I was going
to do it and I'm going to go through I
mean promise who who asked you to the
president of my fan club Richard
Baro why I asked him ever to be on my
why you ask you know why you ask me
because the only reason that you want me
on your is because you know that I'm
going to create an audience for you with
the teenagers that's why they follow me
like the PIP Piper you know why because
I've got that
[Music]
beat that one second I don't know
anything about a beat but the last time
I saw you rocking and rolling it wasn't
from
[Music]
music listen I'm so glad you got back
from
well naturally I mean I'm going to tell
you something you mean to come in to do
your show well certainly you're a very
lucky fellow because for me to come in
from that little Spa in Rancho Mirage
takes quite a caper oh you like pom La
away real
fun oh cozy is a very CLE nice little
house everything is lovely all got
everything going and you know plenty of
stuff and every evening all of the
people come over all of my friends and
then along about sunnd down can you hear
me Jackson oh unfortunately
yes we make how long about Sundown we
make with that barbecue oh you have a
barbecue and that fire is going all
night long fire all night long yeah well
what do you do about charcoal then what
charcoal we burn
Court
that you know he's got the only
barbecued chicken that gets off the
grill and staggers to the
plate tou that's all you keep saying is
where are you going touche what is that
touche what what's the matter you think
you're playing with kids that's French I
know Phil I'm not dumb I know touche is
French I know it's French but what what
would you know about French what would I
know about French I told you I'm down
there I got all that casual life and
everything I ain't got nothing to do
with myself you know so I figure well
I'm going to better myself so I go to
night school and out of the clear sky Z
French booo
French school you go to high school and
you take french lesson wait and you
speak come on like Thor with that French
you you like and you can really speak
French speak fluently you can yes all
right I want you to hear I want to hear
one word I want to hear one sentence and
friend oh you want me to I just want to
hear something you've learned do it for
you here's a little something I'll just
come on with for
openers
you what does that mean I sleep in the
ink
well
[Music]
why would you sleep in an E I mean you
sleep in a bed on a sofa on a couch till
I learn them I sleep in the
ank that makes sense from a guy who's
been under a hair dryer all day long I
can understand that well look at Phil
I've got a lovely surprise for you oh
you really have I got something you're
going to be thrilled with that you're
going to see your all old boy hey look
at
that my
[Applause]
oldy
about oh yeah there's old cletcher
there's old kimick there's old Wayne
Mitchell hey
Sam you're wearing that part way out
this
[Music]
season on like the
Deacon whoa look there's old Bagby over
there wait a minute just because I left
where's Frankie who I'm talking about
Frankie Ry you ain't done nothing with
with him where is he I want to see
Frankie remley there he is right here
where Frankie
remley this is remley
right what you been doing you look
off what what's the matter I stopped
drinking when
morning oh well then you can still be
saved there you now you put the strings
right back on there everything's going
to you see Jackson I'll start him back
on light wines and I'll give him some oh
yeah well that'll help put in a round
take you're going to be all right fly
I'll
take clear that play on the end over
there you see he had a little water on
his coat and everything he just swam
over from
Alcatraz Now fail look at I didn't bring
the boys out here just you know just for
you to talk to them naturally the
audience are very anxious to hear you
sing one of your songs so how about
putting one on I got one Jackson they'll
all love you ready okay go ahead go
ahead come with me to Al let's go see my
dear old M she's frying eggs and Fring H
that's what I like now there you can
wait a minute wait a minute hold it hold
it wait a minute hold what are you wait
a minute wait a minute what's the matter
with you you wouldn't stop harle in
these gypsies would
[Music]
listen come here a guy only got stared
now wait a minute you were with me on
radio for 20 years you Sayang that's
what I like about the south well it came
out of my ears and everybody else's well
I've got to write you I wrote the number
you what I'm the composer you wrote the
number I wrote the number well Phil if I
were you I wouldn't brag about it those
are the most ridiculous lyrics that I've
ever heard in my whole life well Jackson
I mean GE whiz I mean uh gosh I mean you
hurt me I I I don't know what to say
it's not only my opinion I I'll prove it
to you those lyrics simply make no sense
I I tell you what you want me to prove
it to you you sing the song and I'll
leave it to the audience I want them to
hear these silly ridiculous lyrics and
that you wrote I want to hear I want you
to hear these lyrics you mean that you
don't like the tune is that the idea I
don't like the word you put a nickel in
the Jude box no I wouldn't put a ni to
think of it you wouldn't put a nickel
[Music]
anywhere
[Music]
come with me to Alabama see my de B she
frying eggs andil hand that's what I
like about now all right now wait
hold just one minute now Phil this part
up to now I can understand this makes a
sense you have a mamy she lives in
Alabama she's roiling ham and frying
eggs whatever frying eggs and go I'll go
long with up to there you're all right
this makes sense this I'll believe now
carry on well there you can make no
mistake where those nerves are never
Shak taste that lay cake that's what I
like about St all right all right hold
it hold on just one minute one minute
wait a
minute wait wait a minute this part I
can understand a tiny bit I can
understand this a tiny bit somehow or
other your mother in Alabama put baking
soda on the Hamond eggs and out came a
layer
cake layer Cy all
right all right hold I just want to show
here come old B with all the new got the
box back and the but shoes but all up
with
that's
[Music]
come did I tell you place
Ain no ain't no
City hold hold that's the one that's the
one that's the one I was waiting for
that's the one I was waiting for hold
everybody that's the one I was now wait
a minute that's the one I was waiting
for a little town called do a didy
that's all you've been seeing a town
called do a didy I want to find out if
there's such a just one sec will you
lower this down B please just lower this
down that's I
guess now Phil here is the latest Rand
mcnali map of the United States I want
you to show me one place in this map
where you can find a little town called
D I can see Walla Walla I can see asula
Rockford Illinois I can see my hometown
walk Keegan even cotton shoe
Texas but where in the name of I W
Harper can you can you find Jackson I
just told don't pay attention I told you
where it was where well pay attention
I'll tell you again
what where those nerves and never shaky
and no theay of cakey it ain't no Town
it ain't no City it's awful small but
awful physical do
why I don't want to describe it I merely
wanted to tell me is there such a place
Jackson what do you think I'm crazy it
ain't no fig Leaf of my imagination I
wouldn't well I don't care I say
whatever it is I wouldn't wait all I I I
merely want to ask you one question
about the silly song If do did if it
ain't no town and it ain't no City all
I'm begging up is what is is it a hamlet
is it a village is it a gas station
[Music]
is it a home for delinquent purple
people
eaders what is do why did I I defy you
to
answer you know I love you when you get
mad like
that you know the blood is almost up to
your
chin actually Jack it was right I we're
not discussing my he there's no town
like duad didy those are the silliest
lyrics I've ever heard you're not going
to sing it on my show well Jackson as
long as I'm out here I can't just stand
around acting pretty unless you want me
to do a little strip I mean I no
I all I want you sing some other song I
got 100 song well let's sing 100 sing
anything but
[Music]
do Bill Jackson was a poor old D who
johned the do down Poker Club that he
cursed the day told him he was
John money used to go like it had wings
if be Queen someone at Kings each night
he would contribute all that time said
I'm going play him tight tonight to be
no Bob tail blesses make me body said
when I get in there my hands don't be
be play them tight lost his pile and
Bill got feish after a while so he rose
looked all around and made this
spe as y'all see this razor I had a shot
just a da now I'm coming in with my
rules I want you to follow when you play
bar keep your hands up the table while
you de please don't be R of the aces
down there between your KN and don't be
making them funny signs like you're
trying to dip off your hand just keep
talking to American boy so I can
understand and stop getting them off the
coton CU oo that's rough take five five
then stop that's enough now when you
back put up the chips cuz I don't like
it when you shy then if you go fussed go
get something I'm going be your byy and
by pass the cards let me shule have a
time before you de let me look them over
because I want to
see because uh I don't know nothing now
about no Mr Harley you going to play
this game to
me sitting right there and that's their
Clan they chance to be a oneeyed man and
Bill kept on watch them out of the
corner of his
ey one ey dealing there to cost that
bill with a five 10 bill got up get left
all around with his
side just loud as awful shame since
someone's cheating this year against the
close it ain't no do me to name the guy
I refrain from mentioning the party's
name if I catch them chus once again I'm
going to take this F clothes and another
ey now you see that brand new razor I
had it sharpen just today now I'm coming
in with my rules that I want you to
follow when you play egg head keep your
bony hands up there while you're giving
them out please and don't be running
them wildies down in there between your
knees and don't keep on making up funny
sides you're still trying to tip off
your hand you better talking American
Boy big a soon I can understand and quit
get them off the bottom I keep trying to
tell you it's rough it's the army game
five then Hal that's enough now when you
bet put up the Reds and blues I don't
like it when you shy that if you run out
of gas go get pumped up I'm going be
here by and by Pat them face boards and
let me rip Le time before you de let me
he gate around with because I
love I mean you ain't going to play this
game according to that Mr Harley you
going to play this game according to me
now Henry if you break the seal on that
new deck of bicycles we'll get on from
here yeah
yeah yeah
[Music]
[Applause]
yeah I can't get over that Phil Harris
imagine standing in front of millions of
people probably watching the show s they
did you ever hear a town called duwa did
What lyrics that other thing here come
Old Roy with all the news boxback coat
button shoes I mean button shoes I can
understand I haven't worn a box back
coat in 5
years there's no such time oh hello B
how'd the show go I don't know didn't
you watch her well I had run out the
post office and get a package and I
missed it oh well I'm sure it's a birth
from my aunt oh it's nice happy birthday
Rochester I forgot all about her yeah
it's nice that your aunt Alberta sent
you a a birthday present oh no no no
this for my Aunt Martha the one that
lives way down south oh I didn't know
you had another Aunt down south where
did she live Mississippi yeah what town
a little place called d
[Music]
didy
[Music]
Ro
sir a little place called what do what
D nothing nothing it must be your blood
is almost in your
[Music]
chin I'm going to take this package and
go out to the car
okay
hm it's the most embarrassing thing
that's ever
happened I wouldn't blame Phil Harris if
he never talked to me again the rest of
his
life well there's only one thing I can
do
hello Rand MCN I'm suing
you yes I'm suing how can you possibly
put out a m a new mat and not have an
important SP on like do I did yeah do I
did it ain't no Town it ain't no City
but it's awfully pretty and it's awfully
cute yeah you watch this stop dancing
and listen
to
[Music]
Jack will be back with his star Phil
Harris and just moment but first here's
a word about the honest Taste of a Lucky
[Music]
Strike a job well done can be even more
satisfying when it's followed by a good
cigarette that's Lucky Strike here's the
honest Taste of fine
tobac with lickes you never get
less smoke anywhere and you'll enjoy the
cigarette of fine
tobacco lucky stri The Taste is honest
fresh smooth
Unforgettable a could foret the taste of
a genuine
cigarette get the honest taste a man and
like the honest face of a Lucky Strike
the honest face of a Lucky Strike get
the genuine article get the honest Taste
of a Lucky
[Music]
Strike now once again I'd like to bring
out my guest Phil
[Applause]
Harris
it's wonderful being together again
after all these years Jackson I want to
tell you I got a big kick out of it it
was one of the most enjoyable benefits
I've played all
season say they are good aren't they
yeah but Jackson I want to tell you
something sincerely you do not look a
day old well that's awfully nice of you
to say that Phil nice but difficult
well thanks very very have me back again
I will I love you all
[Applause]
right you know this show doesn't need a
contract it needs a liquor
license anyway ladies and gentlemen be
sure and watch Bachelor Father next week
with John foresight and I'll be back at
two weeks from today where my guests
will be Dennis day and then Jan and Arie
those two recording artists and then
Marvin the millionaire Miller will be
with us so be sure to watch the show and
thank you
very appearing on tonight's program is
hard mcneir remember one week from
tonight on this same station
sure
e