from television city in Hollywood the
Jack Benny program of the special guests
are at Churchill presented by Lucky
Strike light up lucky its light of you
lucky its light a time for the taste
that you like lighter by Lucky Strike
relax its light there's a time and a
place for everything and the right time
for a lucky is any time you want to
enjoy a great cigarette and the right
place for a lucky is wherever you happen
to be at the time you'll always enjoy
Lucky's because Lucky's taste better
Lucky Strike is made of fine naturally
good tasting tobacco and it's toasted to
taste better cleaner fresher smoother
yes sir Lucky's taste better anytime
anywhere
so right now bite up a lucky it's light
up time enjoy the best tasting cigarette
you ever smoked
thank you thank you very much ladies and
gentlemen and welcome to the Lucky
Strike program well here it is the end
of January and I'll bet that all of you
people or most of you have have been
doing just what I've done the time I
mean every time you you make out a check
you still put last year's date on it you
know 1955 matter of fact yesterday was
the first time that I put 1956 on a
check that was the exact price of a suit
that I bought 1956 it was the full price
I mean there were no sales tax or
anything because they don't have that
down in Tijuana
I don't know I'm a sucker for imported
things but this suit of course you get
the most terrific bargains in Tijuana
that you've ever heard of this suit that
I bought was made out of a toreador
skate one of the suitors had three
buttons and four buttonholes that extra
hole is where the bull got well so much
for international trade now ladies and
gentlemen to change the subject and I'm
sure I have your permission I am in a
few weeks from now I'm going to England
to film some television shows that are
going to be done over here going to be
shown here you see and it's the first
time that I've ever been to England to
do TV shows I play there many many times
at the London Palladium you know I found
out one thing that when you play the
Palladium in London I've been there many
many times that you have to be
aggressive over there not only on the
stage but in your social activities too
and I'm not like for instance what I
mean is like when Danny Caine plays in
London he gets to meet all the
dignitaries and the members of
parliament and oh he meets the royal
family and they come to see him and he's
invited to Buckingham Palace and I don't
want Bob Hope plays there he has lunch
with the Duke of Edinburgh I know these
things never seem to happen to me they
they almost happen almost but not quite
well I'll tell you something you won't
believe the last time I played London I
was invited to have dinner at number
nine Downing's
but when I'm there of course doing my TV
shows I'm going to have guest stars more
than one of my stars one of my guess is
going to be that very very talented
actress and the lovely daughter of Sir
Winston Churchill and she happens to be
here today and I'd like you to meet her
Miss Sarah Churchill
we Sarah I want to tell you how very
very happy I am that you're going to be
on my shows with me in London and I
hated to make you come down here but I
did want my audience to see you yeah
Jackson oh it's my pleasure like I've
had such fun here today because
everybody's been so nice to me
especially the fellow who insisted on
buying me lunch now there's a nice chap
for you
stunt fellow stout fellow I love those I
love those British expression yeah oh
what I didn't mean it to be I was just
referring to Don Wilson oh yeah you mean
16 tonnes yeah well tell me Sarah how
does your father feel about your
theatrical career I mean does he does he
approve well yes I think so well anyway
he's always encouraged me every step of
the way was it wasn't easy in the
beginning because I only played some
small parts and only occasionally but
because in the last few years here I've
had some wonderful acting roles on
television and the stage yeah yes and
now you're gonna be a guest on in London
on my television show yeah my father
wrote me the nicest note when he found
out about it really What did he say
never has so much been sacrificed for so
little
well I must say your daddy certainly has
a quick mind really very very active oh
yes he is he really is he's an enormous
enthusiasm for life it doesn't doesn't
matter what he's doing with he's
painting or writing or walking around
the farm he's always bidding you know I
think that's the reason he stays so
young well that's wonderful really yeah
by the way what is your formula jack for
keeping young I lie a little
but Sara you don't have to be active you
see doing that Sara I want to tell you
again how very glad I am you're going to
be with me and yes I I'm very excited
about it you know I remember our first
meeting in England it was in Trafalgar
Square and you were telling me about
your appearance at the Palladium and how
you were such a sensation and and such a
terrific hit that they wanted to hold
you over for an extra two weeks funny
strange I don't remember our being
introduced oh we went you were just
stopping people at random
yeah now I recall and then and then by
some strange coincidence I saw you again
the very next evening my father and I
were looking out of the window and we
saw you going into the house next door
you know number nine Darling Street
that's right I was there for dinner did
you know the people oh yes very well
they were our help
well they were certainly wonderful to me
now Sarah you know when you and I were
discussing doing our shows over in
London you were now that they have TV
commercials over there you were
explaining to me and rightly so that
these commercials should be adapted so
that they fit English audiences you
remember that that's right well I gave
it a lot of thought and I prepared a
number that I think might be good for an
English audience and I want you to see
it with it all right I prepared with the
sportsman quartet you know I will stand
over there and watch it huh ladies and
gentlemen the sports
before we stop there is something you
should know is that the characters we
mentioned are fictitious my intention
and should there be similarity they show
to any living dog or English man you
know it's purely coincidental by Jove
mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the
midday Sun the Japanese don't care - the
Chinese will you dad you
the Hindus an Argentine sick soundly
from 12:00 to 1:00 but the Englishman
detest a siesta in the Philippines they
have loveless means to protect you from
the brown in the melee states they have
hats like plates with the pretty shells
would well tell the natives swoon and no
better luck is done but many dogs and
Englishmen go out in the midday Sun is
that dogs and Englishmen go out in the
midday Sun the toughest burmese bandit
could never understand it in Hong Kong a
striker gone and fire of a noonday gun
to reprimand each inmate who's in late
in a mangroves fall for the Pythons
Walters teaspoon fell to tears even
Caribous Lian
and snooze for the stubbornest in Bank
doll to move at all is seldom ever done
but mad dogs and Englishmen go out in
the midday Sun
mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the
midday Sun but that's enough of joking
it's time to mention smoking and time
swear to hatred Billy Lucky's won't be
like it comes from Carolina it's minor
why try for the best no get you to
cigarette did say now command over the
one ray like is a Lucky Strike the
Nottingham - no it's not peaceful bear
the taste is smooth it is no candy so
pop horn Ellis and materials and
materials and their fears and Matias and
meta long and Allison the people small
you
Sara do you think that that commercial
would appeal to our English viewers well
I I don't really know Jack so few of our
Mad Dogs have television I can change it
as we get over there by the way just who
are you taking with you to England well
I'll take probably Don Wilson and Mary
and you know some of my cast and then
some my musicians like Charlie Bagby and
Frank Remley over there yes something I
wanted to ask you I I hear you refer so
often to Frank Remley is it true I mean
does he really in by as much as you say
imbibe I know what it mean I five is too
nice a word to use you know when you're
referring to someone who has spent
two-thirds of his life on his hands and
knees
you see Frank Remley when he was six
months old he learned how to crawl and
that was it
well of course Dennis day probably be
with me in Rochester oh yes that was the
other thing I wanted to ask you I mean
how how long is Rochester being with you
with me well I'd say about 18 years 18
years oh that's wonderful
you know he's very popular in England
and a lot of people there have often
wondered just how it was that you met
him I mean how did he start to go to
work for you well Sarah that's quite an
interesting story that would you like to
hear it
oh yeah well about 18 years ago I was on
a train coming from Los Angeles or from
Chicago rather to Los Angeles in those
days it took about four days and three
nights you see and it was the morning of
the day that we arrived in LA
you
well Hilary will it be this time
I love draw spit in the ocean or Central
Avenue stone Central Avenue stud what
kind of game is that
everything is wild with the three of
hearts good yeah once I had seven aces
in-laws
and you look a little tired
yeah you'd be tired too if you had kids
running up and down the aisle in your
car for three days well I've got kids
but I got a man enough of six it really
keeps me hopping every time I turn over
boy again I'll be right back
yes sir the forms you sent out those
telegrams like I asked you to oh yes sir
good and did you did you shine my shoes
yes sir fine Tilly all right now okay oh
wait a minute you get me the morning
paper yes sir right in oh thank you
thank you Joelle Oh Porter Porter wait a
minute
yes I'm sorry yeah I'm sorry yes just a
minute
so that button on this cold
Oh what do you want this time you want
me to sell this button on his go huh
that's all right maybe wouldn't we get
off the train he'll give you a nice
gratuity gratuity yeah that means oh I
know what it means but that's too nice
word to waste on a man who left an
asparagus tip for later you know that
mr. Fendi's the dilly yeah I guess so
you should have seen him at got stopped
over back in Albuquerque oh man you
should have seen him it was real an
education to see him bargaining with the
Indians over those blankets oh yeah did
he buying him by he was selling
where did he get the blanket in
Albuquerque
he'd buy on one side the Train and sell
on here oh man what a smooth operator he
had those Indians believe it he was
chief Sitting Bull alright boys break it
up I don't mind a little card but I just
came through your car Henry in the
aisles are a mess
okay so I'll get on it right away
Rochester can't you do something about
upper six I noticed the curtains been
closed since we pulled out of Chicago
well that's mr. Benny's button he told
me to keep the curtains closed oh he
told you I thought it was a request from
the other passengers anyway he's not in
charge of this car you are I'll see that
that birth is made up lunch first call
for lunch it's in on time huh
I'm going to the diner I'm hungry what
about me
you stick your big fat head in there but
Jack I've been hiding in here for three
days now you're supposed to pay all my
expenses when we travel what I did I
bought two tickets one for me and one
for you then where do I have to hide
because if the conductor sees you the
ticket won't be any good you look over
12 get back in and shave lovely Coleman
and always complaining Oh
mr. belli now that you're out I can make
up your birthday no no no no but the
conductor torment you I've got to make
it up no I'm sorry but my my son is
still sleeping oh I'm sorry mr. belli
but I've gotta make it up
Oh Benny come now 12 years old he has a
thyroid condition
I thought it wouldn't work are you hello
Oh Porter by the way what's your what's
your name
Rochester Van Jones Rochester well
that's an unusual name were you born
Rochester no Syracuse
no why didn't they call you Syracuse
that's my brother's name now look I got
a sister named Minneapolis don't see the
corn Minneapolis no Pittsburgh why did
they call a Pittsburgh that's a man's
name
I look Ranas ate more of us kids you
want to know
there's no use making a fuss about this
thing let's keep this just between the
two no but I can't do that you see
that's the rules
Oh rules rule sir when we get off the
train reveal our Santa's pretty soon
I'll give you a nice gratuity gratuity
yes that means oh I know what it means
I'm just worried about your conception
look if I don't report this to the
conductor I'll lose my job
oh he's right jack he's right
you tried to smuggle me through here on
a half fare ticket you got caught with
it and now just have to face it oh never
mind
oh you know don't make a big fuss about
this thing you know we'll just keep it
just keep it in between the two of us
yeah well if I do that tomorrow lose my
job you will I know but look at if we I
don't when we came from Chicago see I
didn't mind you know we got from Chicago
but as long as we're you know we're
nearly here then we're all right c-can
we can make it up there you know I can
pay well we'll be in Los Angeles soon we
go through that next time we're one hour
out well that's what I mean where the
sea would be in the tunnel pretty soon
now believe me Rochester look don't say
anything see and everything
we're not just fine don't let the
conductor we're the tunnel mouth sir
well it might be a lot of fun putting
one over on that old sourpuss well of
course of course it will
and look yes between ourself a deal huh
okay mr. valleys a deal
all right let's shake all right
you guess me the old sourpuss fine I'll
get your things and get ready to leave
for you I'm tasting picking this up of
the stationmaster as soon as we got in
you won't get off this train did you pay
the full fare hello Sonny
all right
Rochester I'm I'm really terribly sorry
about this whole thing oh that's all
right mr. Benny I'll probably find
another job
horse things are little rough right now
yeah and I kind of feel responsible for
this whole thing it's my say listen how
would you like to work for me work for
you yes you know I've always wanted a
butler and you'll have an easy job I
mean there'll be a lot of time on your
hands say that sounds pretty good I
think I'd like that
all right you're hired well before I
start to work don't you think we ought
to discuss money well yeah what do you
think would be a fair salary oh I don't
get that let's start someplace else well
you see if we understand each other
already we'll get along fine
well anyway we'll be in Los Angeles
about 10 minutes so I'm going into the
diner okay what about me
Danis get your head in there they don't
know about you yet oh if they ever find
out that's Remley I'm really in trouble
jack will be back in just a moment the
first is a working cigarette smokers
light the lucky it's light up be
happy-go-lucky it's like a time for the
teeth that you like light up the lucky
stone relax its time why is it when
folks are stepping out you so often see
Lucky's going along it's just that
Lucky's always taste better
that's because they're made of fine
tobacco naturally mild good tasting
tobacco that's toasted that's right it's
toasted to taste even better cleaner
fresher smoother next time you're going
out take a pack of Luckies along with
you you'll say they're the best tasting
cigarettes you ever smoked for the teeth
that you'll a night up the monkeys
journey right now light up a lucky
thank you very very much ladies and
gentlemen I'm certainly glad that miss
Churchill asked me how I discovered
Rochester all knotweed had a very short
show a little weed had a very long show
but anyway once again I would like mr.
chill to come out
or Jack that was a very interesting
story it was and it really is wonderful
to think that Rochester being with you
18 years yes and he's been just
wonderful working with me but there's
just something I I didn't remember you
telling him how much salary we're going
to pay him well you know 18 years ago we
had a little bit and we finally settled
it Oh
when yesterday but anyway I do want to
thank you very very much Sara and I'm so
glad we're going to be together in
London really oh yes I I shall look
forward to enormous Lee are you going to
spend all of your time in England no no
no I'll go to other places I'll go to
Paris
probably in Rome and Madrid then I don't
want to miss that wedding at Minako you
know what did you receive an invitation
from Prince Rainier well not exactly but
when I made out the invitations I saved
one for myself
thanks again Sara
you know I found out another thing about
when you're appearing in England that
you know when you have to you know
you're not permitted to bring your money
back here as a matter of fact the last
time I played in London I had a leave my
money over there but I left it in a safe
place I buried it in Westminster Abbey
you know most tourists go around with
cameras I carry a shovel so as I said
before that I'm not only going to to
London I'm gonna be in Paris in Rome and
I was going to Venice too because I I
love Venice you know with the beautiful
watered streets and everything but then
I decided not to go because a few days
ago we had Venice over here fortunately
I was very very fortunate I was the only
one who lived in Beverly Hills who owned
a gondola I had a single little but it
was fun and ladies and gentlemen once
and for all I do want to apologize for
the way I've been talking for years
about Frank Remley and the boys in the
orchestra you know I always accuse them
of carousing around and drinking and
carrying on and believe me I only do
this for a gag it's just jokes because
there are a bunch of wonderful boys real
lovely family men wonderful citizens and
really stalwart workers and in civic
affairs you know
find time for the drummer to pull off
the school
alright boys pick him up no medication
this time he during rehearsal one of the
rehearsals he fell off the stool and all
the rest musician hollered give him an
MD an MD I found out later that meant a
bottle of mogen David
ladies and gentlemen next Sunday watch
aunt Southern I'll be back in two weeks
preparing on the 9th another wine
right by the Rubin & Clark comfort
remember one week in the night on this
same space to the store and watch an
southern in private secretary Jack
Betty's make television show will be in
two weeks builders poker the whole
town's talking about filter tipped item
because all the pleasure comes through
that taste is great
yes filter tip tides on with the
pearl-grey activated charcoal filter
smokes milder smoke smoother draws
easier filter tip Titan is the best in
filtered smoking remember all the
pleasure comes through the taste is
great the Jack Benny program has been
brought to you by the American tobacco
company America's leading manufacturer
of cigarettes exactly the program has
been a flexible viewing by our armed
forces overseas