the George Burns and Gracie Allen show
here are your cigarettes mr. Vonzell and
you change 50 when done is there
anything else you wanted mr. vanzara a
package of cigarettes please
well the not the king-size this time the
short ones I sometimes I have to smoke
in a hurry here you are
Thank You Marie
is there anything else you wanted yes
yes Murray now I know I've only known
you the short time since you've come to
work here but somehow I feel I can talk
to you yes well as you know I'm from
California and oh the truth is I I get
very lonely here in New York
Oh mr. Vonzell there's no reason someone
like you should be lonely oh really
of course well they've got lots of nice
friendship clubs in New York for older
people people hi Murray hi Ryan
it's a new day darts a sure over there
and by the way we've been selling a lot
of copies of your dad's new book good
he'll be glad to hear about oh hi mr.
von Zell older people
I meant well we wouldn't find the Bobby
sax crowd Oh Oh the bobby-soxers wealth
of course you're right Marie I'm I'm at
least two or three years that's that did
you put this on my father's account sure
Ronnie two cigars yeah thanks
oh and I called up about those tickets
you ordered for that play you'll have
them by this afternoon
good Jim Mormon and I figured we'd go up
to Greenwich Connecticut tonight and
catch it before it comes to Broadway
professor Channing at our dramatic
schools as you'll learn a lot more at
those out-of-town tryouts I'll bet you
do gee I wish I could be an actress like
Marilyn Monroe or Jane Russell but I
guess I just haven't got it
mr. Bartel no nothing nothing
well I'll see you later Marie bye-bye
he's real nice oh yes he's nice kid
sleep child though look Marie as I was
saying before we were interrupted I like
the way he looks those broad shoulders
yeah well as I was saying before well
now but you probably have noticed that
my shoulders are very and he's so tall I
admire a man that's tall hello
there's a coincidence Marie I I'm at
least six and broad and narrow what are
you so busy with his acting career I
don't suppose you'll ever really noticed
me look Maria if you want a tall actor
oh excuse me hello
oh yes mr. Greenfield what were you
saying mr. van sir oh uh yes I as I was
saying hurry to some evening why don't
we pardon me
yes mr. Morton miss Murray may I have
today's Wall Street Journal please
yes mr. Martin good morning von Zell oh
good morning Harry
there must be some psychological
explanation for this von Zell are you
practicing to become a ballet dancer yes
yes I started this morning pack of
cigarettes
oh no no no very ayah I never used them
I never smoked
oh that's too bad to me a man who smoked
cigarettes always seems more
sophisticated yes especially if a man is
tall like you are I think a cigarette
loosen it added Dennis well I I never
considered it it exactly that light but
I I can see that yes for a tall man it
it might be very becoming I can see what
a tall man might
I haven't seen the new girl down at the
cigarette counter huh no I have a notice
thing Oh Oh believe me you notice her if
you were a man they're flocking around
her all day long
buying cigarettes for the carton and
cigars by the box really uh-huh well
that's what happens when you have big
blue eyes and a good figure
oh no glad you're wrong men with blue
eyes and good figures aren't the only
ones who buys the guys oh look a touch
for instance no no no honey that's what
the girl looks like oh oh the girl yeah
oh she's so young and so pretty and the
married men flock around her even more
than the single men Oh glad ship you
worrying about Harry don't
he's certainly smart enough to know that
although she's young and pretty now in
25 years she won't hook a good better
than yes I just realized I need a
manicure buddy I'm not worried about
Harry he doesn't smoke and besides he
doesn't even know that girl's alive
there's one advantage to being married
to a frozen fish
Oh someone at the door Blanche try to
remember what we were laughing at it and
then go back to it later Oh Harry
good morning Gracie how do you do Nydia
oh no what's wrong
don't you find the effect adds to my
sophistication Harry Morton you never
smoked but because a pretty girl is
selling them you're puffing away like a
middle-aged steam engine I assure you
the odor
you're not the sweet frozen fish Blanche
thought you were excuse me not for what
I said but there's somebody at the door
hi Gracie
hmm hey Gracie what's good for a couple
of stiff calves
leave him alone Harry the mother cow
will know how to take care
you philanderer oh this is ridiculous
I'm smoking a cigarette and you fly into
a rage because you think it's an
escapade oh she doesn't care what brand
it is she's just mad because we were
flirting with that girl hi Blanche
hello mr. bond sale look look at mr.
Bansal he's a single man he wouldn't do
what you've done just a moment
Manziel have you a cigarette cigarette
sure what brand do you want
uses old you don't do sir my wife was
loving and kind and gentle and
considerate cease the quibbling I don't
even deserve a wife like you you too huh
what yeah what goes with her Oh George
you missed the best part Harry came
walking in smoking a cigarette and a
holder like this and Blanche jumped all
over him
oh when I counted that pretty cigarette
girl downstairs sure hey I got an idea
let me have that think I'll work on
Gracie and make her a little jealous oh
hi Gary
you know Blanche has nothing to worry
about the Marie would never look at
Harry she only likes real tall men well
let that lets you out - are you kidding
is it great to be a bachelor look at
Harry von Zell no worries no
responsibilities no wife to account oh
all he's got to do is stand her on a
cigarette counter on his toes all day
what an idiot
hello Dan Oh George you should have been
here
Blanche and Harry just left me were
having a terrible fight what about well
um he came in smoking a cigarette in a
holder and Blanche knew he bought her
from that beautiful girl downstairs well
I guess a man like that can't be trusted
oh you know sometimes we women get so
sick and tired of the kind of men we
married we wish we hadn't married them
and if there were any other kind of men
we wouldn't married them either
what Deb what have we rats been doing
now Oh turn I don't know you I was
talking about men so don't take it
personal
no well I feel much better they imagined
Harry Martin walking in here with a
cigarette and in a long hold and blown
smoke in his wife's face Oh certain glad
I'm not married to a man like that
Gracie was it was it was it a holder was
it a holder like this yes exactly the
same exactly yes George I wish you'd
have a talk with Harry Morton I will I
will
please did the other way
don't you realize I'm smoking a
cigarette well certainly and I think
it's a nice change from cigars isn't
Gracie wonderful you know that she's not
the least bit jealous of me that's true
when I was first courting her we were
walking down the street and a pretty
girl passed my whistle Anna know what
Gracie did she liked when I was
whistling as she joined in
you know the hotel was was very smart to
hide that girl downstairs pretty girl
can sell anything
friend of mine had a jewelry store
business was real bad and he fired his
regular sales but any hire this gorgeous
blonde and less than the air she sold
every piece of jewelry in that store to
a man who fell in love with her and gave
it to her
I didn't think the owner would be happy
but he wasn't he was the man
now she owns a store last week she fired
him and hired back to regular salesmen
and did you ever notice the ads they
have for men's hair tonic they've always
got a pretty girl on the bottle she's
got nothing to do with the tonic she's
got hair she's fine
there's a reason man sees the
advertisement walks into the drugstore
asks for a pretty girl when he can't get
her he settles for the Hat Tony
my age I just walk up to the counter and
ask for the Hat time
but pretty women of course trouble also
history look at Cleopatra and hell of
Troy they live back in in um in her way
back bar far back that's it's part of
the trouble they caused in history that
made me flunk but that cigarette girl
said he started something with the
Mortons you saw them fight but they say
there's a saying that married couples
fight because it's wonderful to make up
the Mortons have been married for 12
years they haven't made up yet but when
they do it ought to be of duty for happy
marriage it's got to be give and take so
fellow at the fries pub they told me
that his wife runs and ragged so the
other day I said Joe is it true that you
in fact he said please over the phone
dial his wife says three dot charge
burns just asked me about him fake is it
all right if I deny it
I'm glad graces jealous
where am I wonder what would happen if
Gracie ever left me yeah I wouldn't kill
myself she'd say that gardener to live
it up instead of buying one bottle ahead
tank I might even buy to branch what are
you gonna have no I gotta have just what
you have Oh Peter Peter what would you
recommend that couple over there just
had some lobsters Oh Lobster
they're here from Baltimore they're here
to see the sights oh well if they're
here to see the sights
it would spoil that fun if we ate them
this will kill the pantry man might
spoil their fun I think I'll have the
chef's salad oh good I had the same
thing chef's salad mrs. burns that son
of yours is becoming quite a ladies man
they say our cigarette girl is just
crazy about him he'd better watch her
she'd like to get her arms around him
well he happens to be a very handsome
boy well sure he got his good looks um
George oh no Gracie well it's true
somebody got charges good looks we had
to give them away might as well keep
them in the family
yeah kick him in the family call for
mrs. burns
oh excuse me hello miss miss burns mrs.
burns
this is Maria at the cigarette counter
I've been trying to get hold of your son
Ronnie that's what Peter the waiter said
well anyway would you tell your son that
I got those two tickets for Greenwich
Connecticut for tonight all right
goodbye um another cigarette holder
please Marie I'm out of the mr. Vonzell
you bought them all
I'm call important Gracie know but I'm a
little disappointed I was gonna surprise
Ronny I fixed a barley soup for him for
dinner and that's his favorite but he
and the cigarette girl are going to
Greenwich Connecticut she told me to
tell him that she got the ticket yeah
what we'll be talking about before
village Connecticut oh no we couldn't
have been talking about that I just
heard that on the phone
Gracie don't you understand
Greenwich Connecticut is the place where
people go to elope
those kids are eloping tonight oh you
better talk to Ronnie well I certainly
will he's gonna loped tomorrow night
volley soup is no good warm dough no
crazy this is serious why you've never
met that girl you want to talk to her
all right yeah and you ought to talk to
her parents too before she marries
Ronnie find out if they have anything in
common plan sure Paris must have
something in common or they wouldn't be
married
I'm sorry mr. Vonzell there isn't any
more gum
you bought it all Oh is there something
interesting on the top shelf Harry hmm
oh no Gracie I was just but uh well I'll
see you later Marie
- goodbye Gracie
Oh Harry you forgot the magazines you
were standing on all right oh yes well
so Y all marine yes and I know who you
are you're mrs. burns Ronnie's mother
that's right
you're a very pretty girl Marie why
thank you and you like Ronnie huh oh yes
he's a wonderful boy with a lot of charm
and now that I've met you I can see
where he gets it
hey Marie you know you're very unusual
you're not only pretty but you're
sensible - thank you again Marie just
between us I approve of what you're
doing you do yes and we could all leave
the barley soup tomorrow night
what's the matter don't you like barley
soup well yes I love barley soup all
good but more important
do you like babies babies yes babies
that's what people are before they get
to be children oh I know what they are
and I love them all good what's your
last name Rigney and where do your
mother and father live 3717 Laurel
Street seagate but why well I I don't
know maybe they like that neighborhood
Oh Marie
now don't forget something old something
new something borrowed something blue
and barley soup tomorrow
I'm glad we got past the cigarette
counter without Maurice eNOS I can't
understand it our own daughter planning
to elope with a boy we've never even
seen well now his mother seemed very
nice imagine coming all the way out to
Seagate to tell us I hope that father is
in maybe Marie let it slip I got my
thousand bucks in the bank and a pension
from the police maybe this guy burns
wants his son to marry in the dole say
dad can I talk to you about mother sure
what's it about well you know Jim
Boardman and I are going up to Greenwich
Connecticut to see that play tonight
yeah you know you told me well mother
just came in my room and put her arms
around me started to crying said Ronnie
I'll miss you the house won't be the
same without you but mother must expect
the day of when her boy walk out of her
life
dad I'll be home at 12 o'clock you
better get home at 11:30 and that's not
all she gave me some shoes and rice and
said your father and I won't be able to
be there so you better handle it
yourself did did she happen to give you
two dollars yeah she said I want you to
be sure and have this because your
father didn't
you see there must be something wrong
with mother why what'd she do what she
do I I just told you what's all wrong
I'll be bringing your mother she
probably thinks you're gone to Greenwich
Connecticut to get married married dad
I'd never get married without telling
you haven't got any money and besides I
haven't found a girl that interests me
see that girl in back of the cigarette
counter Wow I'll say I did dad would you
raise my lounge-y Devourer honey you
know it's a lucky thing that Gracie's
only spoken to Ronny she talked to
somebody else this might've caused lot
of trouble mr. burns I spoke too fast
yes oh sit down right here mother I'll
handle this friends I'm Marie's father
and if your son is gonna elope with my
daughter I gotta know something about
you oh then I don't get excited
Benj he always live in a hotel catch you
for a house your room until my son
marries into a rich family oh so you
heard about my pension yeah I read about
variety I'm so glad you all here has
Ronnie gone yes oh good then we can all
sit down and cry together Gracie Gracie
Ronnie is gone to Greenwich Connecticut
with Jim Boardman well how do you like
that well if they took Jim Boyd went on
their honeymoon they certainly could
have taken us we'll all sit down I think
I can explain it this is it right now
well everything is straightened out I
invited Gracie and the Mortons and the
Rigbys and Marie and Harry one cell is
still on his toes - be my guest for
dinner at the 21 but not me
I'm staying home I'm crazy but Gracie's
Bolly soup
let's go get Gracie and we'll be right
back and do one of our routines for you
and now carnations contended couple jars
and Gracie
yeah thank you thank you very much
Oh Gracie why don't we talk about well
how that talk about those interesting
people I noticed the doctor's office
this afternoon
you're the doctor's office anything
wrong oh no no this is the day I have my
hair done but it's a beauty shop you
always have to wait so long for your
turn so so I waited in the doctor's
office across the hall because they had
much more comfortable chairs wait you
might as well be comfortable yes but you
know Judge I wasn't in that waiting room
five minutes before I noticed things
were in a mess yeah I imagine you would
I guess you straightened everything out
well I tried and the nurse was an hour
late and she said I'm sorry but the
doctor hadn't emerged the appendix
operation I said that's no excuse if he
can be on time with his appendix out so
can you
the doctor was lucky to have you there
and so was the woman who was sitting
next to mrs. Clark the woman what woman
the one who came just to ask the doctor
if he thought women should have children
after 35 what did you say what any
sensible person would I told her 35
children is enough for anyone did did
did mrs. Clark agree with this oh no she
didn't hear me you see she had a face
buried in the medical journal she was
laughing like crazy
yeah and Judge I didn't know the medical
journal was such a funny magazine house
even funnier than Popular Mechanics and
then the phone rang and the nurse wasn't
there so mrs. Cox said why don't you
answer it she was a real helpful kid
yeah and the lady I'm not interested the
lady on the phone mrs. Clark what was
she there for well I asked you the same
thing and she said that she wanted some
medicine from the doctor that she's
gotten once before for her husband's
chest she said it was dark greenness
fell like turpentine you said so I said
well if your husband's chest is in that
condition you better take him to the
hospital
appearing on tonight's show where Myrna
Hansen as Murray Peter brocco as Peter
the Waker James flavin as mr. Rigney and
Isabelle withers as mrs. Rickman
you