from hollywood it's the new edgar bergen
hour with charlie mccarthy
if you say help me i'll mow you down
it's sunday night and time again
transcribe for edgar bergen and charlie
mccarthy with mortimer snerd ethy
clinker gary crosby carol richards
reynolds jack kirkwood the mellow man
yours truly john huston and our special
guests dr frederick webb hodge world's
leading authority on the american indian
and
ladies and gentlemen this past weekend
edgar bergen attached his trailer to the
back of his car
and he and charlie were off to palm
springs for a glorious and inexpensive
vacation in the sun
as it turned out it wasn't as
inexpensive as they thought but to see
what happened let's look in on edgar and
charlie as they approach palm springs
with edgar behind the wheel
[Music]
oh in his black denim toupee and his
high button shoes all right charlie yeah
say are you enjoying this ride it's okay
can't you go a little faster in this
thing well we're moving right along as
it is after all we just passed three
cars
yeah but they were apart oh i see
so you better check our trailer back
there how does it look well it looks a
little like elsa maxwell doing a rumba
is that
i speed it up there you step on it well
now take it easy we're entering palm
springs now oh look over there somebody
left a golf club lying in the sand there
really that's frank sinatra taking a
sunbath
now we better keep our eye open for this
blue skies trailer village yeah you know
that's the one that jack benny is part
owner of yeah and you know he promised
to give us a very special rate
jack dude yes
i know what you're thinking he is he is
a tough man to tangle with over
monday yeah you both throw pennies
around like manhole covers yeah
all right
no not that musty jack benny's trailer
over there look at the sign in front
free water free electricity and also
free violin lessons
that slight extra charge yeah yeah
that's the place i'll pull in all right
there we go
ah well here we are charlie now there
must be a parking attendant oh here's
one coming towards us yet
park your car for two bits
jack how come that you're parking cars
oh i'll do anything to make a bus i see
gentlemen welcome to the blue skies
trailer village surrounded by swaying
palm trees and you're welcome to pick
all the dates you can eat oh well that's
really swell for 69 cents a pound
here edgar have a date i hope you don't
mind if i take it out of your first
pound yeah no no we'd save money by
getting out of here now no
don't knock my little business charlie a
man my age has to start thinking about
his future yeah
yeah
jack what is your age now there's been a
lot of kidding now how about settling it
once and all uh just how old are you
jack 39 39.
38 go right
let's face it buster the only way you'll
ever see 50 again is on a speedometer
[Music]
that's a nice line for a guest star
i'm sorry jack but our trailer wasn't
big enough to bring any riders along you
see but this is quite a trailer park
you've got here very nice well i'm just
running it as a sideline after all who
knows as a comedian i may not be able to
go on forever
well haven't you already
[Music]
they did it to me again
anyway jack we're here and we'd like to
check in gee i don't know edgar we have
a certain standard to maintain and your
trailer is pretty old just look how thin
those tires are you can see right
through the rubber oh you cannot now
keep your hands off those tires jack
stop feeling those tires jack
i'm sorry edgar i forgot about my
hangnail yeah
now what would we do well i also fixed
tires
i'll do anything for a buck yeah
well here's a dollar go get a manicure
now where can i put that uh junkie
edgar tell you what i'll do i'll put you
way down at the end right next to the
road well why why down there next to the
road yeah your trailer be all right
there people think it's just an accident
let's take this spot here and check in
come on uh well now okay now where's the
desk clerk that's clerk
care to register sir
you mean you i told you i'll do anything
for a buck yeah now we're saving on
actors this way
now you'd better tell us now what are
your rates oh you'll find me very cheap
yes we have all right
he's a regular naughty pine fred allen
i threw that in myself you know
they had me down for another hmm
jack you you still have avoided uh
telling us what your rates are that is
special rates for fred well what would
you say to nine dollars a night oh come
now you wouldn't charge that much to
poor little old me would you certainly
that's how i got to be rich little old
me yeah
well i will pay a cent over two dollars
so i guess the deal is off there now
wait a minute that was that was my first
offer yeah well you're crushing my car
nation no all right
how about 8.75 225 is as high as i'll go
this is the battle of the titans
two tighter titans i've never seen
either oh
now 850 not a penny lower ridiculous
three fifty eight twenty five three
seventy five eight eight dollars four
dollars seven seventy five oh jack what
are we arguing about blood that's what
you argue
i'll tell you what edgar i don't wanna
quibble over a few bucks let's settle
for five dollars okay that's a deal jack
yeah ladies and gentlemen the preceding
scene starring edgar bergen and jack
benny was from the picture money is a
mini splendor thing
i'll trade you that for them
we're all set then aren't we yeah it
ought to be fun stay here to blue skies
trailer village especially with you one
of the owners mister benny you know
you're such a popular celebrity
and such a good comedian oh you're just
saying that no no if i was saying it you
wouldn't come out so good
[Music]
i wonder what don wilson would charge to
sit on him
jack how about showing us around the
place a little bit sure sure i'll be
glad all right
now uh over here is our swimming pool oh
you know there's a 25 service charge per
person if you use the swimming pool
that's fair enough's reasonable
when there's water in it it's a dollar
if i know bergen he'll take it dry
then there's our lovely bathroom over
here oh so there's the oh no what's the
matter
i peeked inside parking meters oh no
before i forget we have another special
service here at the blue skies trailer
village
for a very slight extra start you'll
furnish with entertainment what kind of
entertainment oh it's the best really
outstanding i go from trailer to trailer
playing requests on my violin he'll do
anything for a buck
let me here how much does it cost not to
have you play your violin
you couldn't afford it
maybe we just ought to buy earplugs well
i'll show you how everyone here in the
trailer park feels about my violin
planet
[Music]
hey all
all the trailers are pulling out
hey stop
wait a minute
wait a
minute jack what are you doing you've
stopped playing you're putting your
violin away
i'll do anything even that for a buck
right
come back folks park your car for a
quarter two bits right this way
[Music]
well charlie wasn't it wonderful of jack
benny to drop in on us yeah but that
meant business of him being only 39
well we can't question it unless we have
positive information well i got it yeah
while he was in there i took a peek at
his driving license oh you did yeah what
did it say it said for covered leggings
only oh no
that's ridiculous charlie hello edgar
how you charlie well it's gary crosby
you know gary we were just speaking
about one of your father's partners in
the blue skies trailer village tell me
gary how do you feel about trailer
living it's it's really a great life
edgar but uh
but as he said recognizing a song cue
when he hears one
but not for me
[Music]
their writing songs of love but not for
me
a lucky stars above but not for me
i would love to lead the way i found
more
clouds of gray
than any old russian play could
guarantee
well i was a fool
to fall and get that way
[Music]
and also lack a day
although i can't dismiss
the memory of her kiss i know it's not
[Music]
with love to lead the way i've found
more clouds of grave
than any old russian play could
guarantee
i i
was a fool
to fall and get that way
hi ho
alas and also like a day
although i can't dismiss
the memory of her kiss i know it's not
for
me
no it's not
[Music]
and now ladies and gentlemen here is
where we take care of you do-it-yourself
fans as we proudly present our genius of
all trades professor kirkwood and his
do-it-yourself department
mr rate you've been going with that bus
saw you must be down to about two
fingers how many two fingers don't mind
if i do no chaser please
professor what is your subject for
tonight tonight's subject will be how to
make money at home with my print it
yourself kit
now now just a second professor this
money that you're going to show us how
to print it can't be genuine so what
listen son we're living in the age of
falsies
[Music]
shoulders
and other things too humorous to mention
i i say pardon me oh boy but but are you
allowed to print money yourself why
certainly haven't you ever heard of
freedom of the press
just a second now let's stop this
foolishness kirkwood i'm sure i'm
positive it's against the law to print
real money well that's where we play it
smart though we don't print real money
we just print counterfeit money
kirkwood you
you should be ashamed don't you don't
you ever think of anything except money
well sometimes i think about women
what kind of women women with money
oh i got a covenant
all i can say to you is this money alone
does not bring happiness no but it sure
makes your unhappiness awfully present
now no professor i'm sorry i must
disagree with you there are no shortcuts
to easy money remember real money
doesn't grow on trees
yours did boy
oh i made a dummy out of him then
i say cook with all chap look is this
money you print any good well let's put
it this way uh-huh it's like the
hollywood freeway
dangerous but passable
which reminds me ray i could use you do
you think you could pass a 20 bill well
certainly oh boy if it'll pull over to
the right
and that's the way it's going to be
don't don't let him talk you into a
thing ray i wouldn't touch his
counterfeit money with a 10-foot pole
how about a 9-foot romanian
mother i'm hot tonight
i don't want to cool you off
where did you learn to print money oh
this uh money-making skill runs in my
family oh it does though yes my father
taught my brother how to make hundred
dollar bills and now he's got life with
father
and how about you kirkwood have you ever
been in jail
have i ever been to jail
i've been in stir more often than the
paddles of a mix master
well you've certainly got the bowl for
it
you're talking with that lazy susan back
there
how to make your own money
oh it's it's the police kirkwood you
they're probably after you oh wonderful
you're happy about it of course
it's depressing if they don't come and
get you once in a while
makes you feel sort of unwanted
tune in next week folks when professor
kirkwood's topic will be how to engineer
your own jailbreak good night
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen i'm extremely happy
to be able to introduce to you once
again our outstanding vocal group the
mellow man what are you going to sing
tonight fellas gilly gilly ostensia for
cats in ellen bogan by the thieves
yes but what are you going to sing
illegally often perfect never mind just
do it
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
and before she knew and before she knew
[Music]
the happy pair were married
one sunday afternoon
they left the church and ran away to
spend their honeymoon in a tiny house in
a tiny house by a tiny stream by a tiny
[Music]
they
still live happily
[Music]
for cats and helen baldwin by the sea
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen once again we bring
you one of the more popular portions of
our program our how to stay young
department
and here to let us in on her secret of
eternal youth is that all time girl just
back from a rejuvenation course with ali
khan
oh i may be falling apart
but i'm young at heart
and you look lovely tonight miss flinker
oh yes i believe in growing old
gracefully yes or better still
disgracefully
well i think it's wonderful how you kept
your um youth
yeah
how did you know about george no
oh i see what you mean yeah now tell me
miss clinker nowadays they give shots
for almost everything are there any
shots that you can recommend that make
you feel younger oh yes indeed there are
yes
after a few shots of scotch you'd be
surprised how young i feel
now don't tell me that you that you
indulge you drink well the doctor said
for my health's sake i should take a wee
drop before going to bed you know yes
yes i see yeah
of course sometimes i find myself going
to bed four and five times a night
though
yes
i
right now it's time to answer some of
your mail no good yeah
well hurry up it's getting close to one
of my bedtimes yes i know
the first letter is from minneapolis oh
it's nice up there yeah that's it here
it is clinker i am 80 years old would it
keep me young if i married a 20 year old
girl
sonny
it would probably kill you
it's like buying a stick when you
haven't got any teeth
all right
here's one from a listener in cleveland
my dear miss clinker i am 35 and i'm
going with a used car salesman should i
marry him
why if you love him what if he is used
no
oh
my name is stinker no klinger
what is the most important rule in
staying young besides lying that is
well i would say
that good health is most important good
health yes
people are too run down these days uh
run down yeah i say uh if you'll go
would you say that i looked run down
[Laughter]
you look run over
you've still got one more letter to
answer dear miss clinker do you ever
wear a sweater to attract men me wear a
sweater with my figure
oh silly boy well that would be like
trying to flag down the super chief with
an empty can or sterno why
well thank you miss flinker our time is
up but before we go do you have any last
message
sounds like your last one no
i don't know what's the matter with me
you've been taking care of yourself
do you have any last message to our
audience yes all of you men out there
take good care of yourselves heaven keep
you i wish i could afford it
the edgar bergen hour transcribed with
charlie mccarthy mortimer snerd gary
crosby carol richards jack kirkwood the
mellow man and ray noble will be back
after station identification
[Music]
wow
[Music]
so
[Music]
from hollywood it's the new edgar bergen
hour with charlie mccarthy mortimus
third gary crosby carol richards jack
kirkwood the mellow man ray noble and
yours truly john huston
[Music]
all right all right that's enough now
why such a sad song martyr well i'll
tell you mr burganoi
i sort of got the dismals today the
dismal
i'm thought of down in the humpty dumps
i see
why well i'm kind of worried i see a
worried about what um i say worried
about what you oh
well i'm worried about um
things back on the farm mostly
we got 60 new mouths to feed now oh
a lot of baby pigs or chickens no it's
my uncle sorghum and then busilla
and their kids and their kids yo
uncle sorghum and his family
you know i didn't even know i had an
uncle sorghum and they all moved in and
they're living there now well
that's how many how many children do you
say 16 are you sure there are 16 well
let me see there's uh there's vestabula
twitchy narrow head
fungus and grunion
quagmire
putrid and slurp
and then oil then there's the triplets
triplets yeah
yeah then that has gifts yeah yeah
what are the triplets names oh they're
they're a merc burton squirt eyes
then there's uh oh
there there's the oldest sister you know
groucho groucho
the sister's name is groucho
you know they call her that because she
has a mustache and smoke cigars all
right
yes the wiggles yeah
well that must make things pretty
crowded around your house though they're
sleeping all over the darden place in
the kitchen too is that so yeah they
don't mind that no wall except
cousin twitchy
he ain't used to sleeping in a strange
sink all right
well they made themselves at home didn't
they'll they did that they're even aware
of my clothes is that so you know
herkimer or jerk on there
he got up this morning and got right
into my best suit oh wow
that is annoying oh it certainly is
what's more he didn't even give me time
to get out of it first off
when i
these people they don't sound like very
attractive relatives no
they sure made a mess of the house too i
imagine
i didn't i didn't realize how how dirty
the house was until a dog came in and
tried to bury a bone in the living room
isn't it
a very boring delivery room yeah
we got all the wall
how could they drag so much dirt into
the house
well you know those little kids when
they go to sleep you know what they play
they play that game this little piggy
went to market well that's very nice
yeah
yeah but they do it with real pigs
well i know it must annoy you but
remember martimer blood is thicker than
water
still on there
of course
then again what isn't yeah i guess
[Music]
relatives of course can be a problem do
you know what hubbard said about
relatives well i don't care to listen
anything
that kind of language you know oh no
oh you've heard the saying well
haven't you heard it i don't know well
not sure no
it was albert hubbard oh well that's
pretty good
i haven't said it yet oh
[Music]
the devil gives us our relatives thank
god we can choose our friends
now what do you think of that
well how does it go
he just went oh
i must have been looking the other way
yeah
now martin how on earth are you going to
get rid of that that mob at your house
no i don't know i don't think they're
going to leave why do you say that well
i overheard uncle sorghum say we'll stay
until he gets wise and oh i see
well i'm beginning to see the light
you're yeah
would you mind turning it up a little so
i can see it too
i don't think he's your uncle no no and
i don't think they're your relatives at
all i think they're a bunch of of
imposters
yeah i do
you may be right at that
how can you be so stupid well it comes
easy after you reach the first plateau
i'm adding
hello edgar well it's carol richards
[Applause]
i hope you'll excuse my coming out early
edgar but i've been so anxious to meet
mortimer oh he's really cute
oh
mortimer don't tell me you're a
shrinking violet well not exactly no i'm
more of a stink lead type
oh come on now mortimer don't be afraid
of me
i won't bite you you all know
no chief huh
i think you better sing carol yeah go
ahead
[Music]
you see a pair
and suddenly your science size
you're thinking nothing's wrong you
string along boy then snap
[Music]
eyes those ties they're part of the
tender trap
you're hand in hand
beneath the trees
and soon there's music in the breeze
you're acting kind of smart until your
heart just goes well
[Music]
those trees that freeze their part of
the temper trap
[Music]
some
sorry night
when his kisses make you tingle
he'll hold your hand
and you'll hate yourself for being
[Music]
single
and all at once the seems
so nice
the trees are throwing shoes and rice
you hurry to a spot that's just a dot on
the map
you
wonder how it all came about it's too
late now there's no getting out
you fell in love
[Music]
the same
[Music]
it's too late now there's no getting out
you fell in love and love is
[Music]
now it is time for our meet the people
department our guest tonight is one of
the foremost ethnologists in the united
states and his name is known the world
over as one of the outstanding
authorities on the american indian
he holds the position of director of the
southwest museum in los angeles here he
is dr frederick webb hodge
good evening dr hodge now this is a real
pleasure to have you with us tonight and
i realize it may not exactly be good
form to inquire into a person's age you
know jack benny seems to dislike such
pullback but i confess that i'm curious
about you
is your age a secret doctor no i'm 39 oh
no
not you too
this is contagious no no seriously dr
hodge about how old are you mr bergen
to tell the truth i was 91 the 28th of
last month wow
91 years well isn't that wonderful and
how did you celebrate your birthday well
my friends gave me a party that really
had a grand time oh yeah
dr hodge as the world's foremost
authority on the american indian you
probably devoted great portion of your
life to the study haven't you there as a
lad in washington d.c
i became interested in indians and i
never
have outgrown that lure
it's been most fortunate for the loved
ones work
is one of the secrets of longevity i
believe yes well now while we're on the
subject of longevity you you certainly
should have some ideas on that what is
your thinking about oh smoking and
liquor
well for years i've smoked a pack and a
half a day and i enjoy an occasional
drink but my friends have always
insisted i should indulge only in
moderation if i want to live to a ripe
old age
[Music]
and are your friends as chipper as you
oh most of them have passed on
they probably didn't take their own
advice well so you've given up alcoholic
beverages then haven't you not all
together i still like a night cap before
retiring
i hope you're not like effie clinker you
don't find yourself retiring two or
three times a night no
one old fashioned is quite enough for me
and undoubtedly you subscribe to getting
10 hours of sleep per night
i prefer eight hours sleep but can get
along on seven and i have thrived on six
when i was preparing the handbook of the
american indian
it was not unusual for me to sit up
doing research
writing reading proof until two or three
o'clock every morning
this lasted for eleven years well you
certainly do contradict all the rules
i've ever heard laid down for longevity
yes well maybe so but my opinion there's
nothing more important than leading a
normal life
if i have a formula it can probably be
summed up as happy work happy friends
happy family i'm most fortunate being
married to a charming wonderful woman i
have good friends and my life's work has
been one i love
and you mentioned that you you've been
interested in indian since you were a
boy how did you have to make it your
profession well i became field secretary
of the hemingway expedition in 1886.
that was the first organized
archaeological expedition into the
southwest
and on the way did you happen to pass
jack benny in a covered wagon
no but the expedition was a great
success and after my return to
washington dc in 1889 i joined the
bureau of american ethnology of the
smithsonian institution
well now what about the famous hawaku
expedition that you organized
well under the office of the museum of
the american indian new york
we made uh expeditions to excavate the
haraca ruin in new mexico
which was identified as one of the
so-called
seven cities of cibola that is the zuni
unions of old i see are you conducting
these excavations just what do you look
for what is the index of the culture of
the people is it the things they've left
behind i suppose well primarily in most
instances yes
however
the real test of the indians culture is
not always desertable
in the material things they leave
the iroquois for instance left very
little yet they had
reached perhaps the highest degree of
culture in any other indian
tribes of the of the north america north
of mexico
well in what way would you say the did
the iroquois exceed that of other
indians well in a great variety of ways
one of which was the freedom enjoyed by
their women
they had women's suffrage
and bear in mind that was many many
years before our own women were so
privileged now that is really surprising
now did the iroquois women ever exercise
their uh what shall we call it voting
rights yes indeed the men could not even
go to war without permission of the
women
that'd be a good way to eliminate war by
the time the women get through talking
it over the crisis would be over
or they could just send the women
dr hajj
you are now director of the southwest
museum here in our city isn't that right
uh not exactly i have been director of
the museum for 23 years
but at the close of january i took a
sabbatical leave i see to sort of rest
up a little bit uh well of course not
i took the leave in order to devote my
full time to research for the department
of justice indian claims commission
in other words as my mother used to say
it's like stopping work to haul timber
in other words you're busier than ever
now
oh yes we are endeavoring to settle the
apache indians suit against the united
states government for land said to have
been taken from them
and thus involving large parts of the
southwest and to run into many millions
of dollars sounds like a very important
job well dr hodge i i want to thank you
for being our guest tonight a man like
you who is 91 years young is certainly
an inspiration to the rest of us thank
you mr bergen and it's getting a little
late so if you'd like i'll drive you
home after the show
oh there's nowhere to get home
let's have a nightcap
well let's live it up and thank you
again dr holliday
ladies and gentlemen gary crosby returns
to sing all at once you love her
[Music]
you start to lie
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you've scarcely talked
you've scarcely met
[Music]
she thinks you're wise
and clever
[Music]
you kiss good night
foreign
[Music]
yes
[Music]
you like her eyes
[Music]
whom
you kiss good night you
you wonder where
your heart can go
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen once again it is
time for our weekly excursion into the
realm of culture
tonight our forum of intellectual titans
bring their great wisdom and perception
to bear on the ever continuing
scholastic debate
wither literature here they are
edgar bergen and his end table
thank you
and good evening paddle oh how are you
kid crazy man
good evening professor kirkwood
professor noble and well if it isn't
mortimer snur well if it isn't the stork
played a dirty trick on the mother
that'll be enough that's exactly what my
parents said when they saw me uh
gentlemen our subject for tonight is
weather literature now to start the
discussion would you like to define the
meaning of literature i say you taps
look i i should be quite good on this
subject really you know i was born in a
library no no you were actually born in
a library oh yes yes how is that
possible well mother kept trying to tell
dad but the librarian kept saying
this
if your parents were smart that have
brought you back after two
weeks you know boy after all i did have
to be renewed you know
there's a north american van leaving for
the grand canyon yeah
why don't you get on it
or better yet get under it
please that will do uh uh professor
kirkwood what would you say is your
favorite book well it used to be louie
over on third street but the cops
grabbed him no no
oh too bad yeah he was on his way to
being bookie of the mountain
of the monster
that was a loser
mr kirkwood your education is sadly
lacking oh you hurt me boy
i'll have you know i went to school
and i really enjoyed that day
you mean you only went to school one day
you're supposed to go back
let's continue now professor snerd who
is your favorite author well i
oh i think oh i'd say oh fandom
who is your favorite author oh author
godfrey no no no
that's ridiculous yeah hey i i hear he
isn't around anymore he just fired
himself
i'd like to get one sensible answer from
this panel if i'm not being too
optimistic professor noble do you know
dickens works
no but i'm glad he got the job
i am referring to charles dickens oh
charlie dickens of course yes how silly
of me oh his books have always occupied
an important position in our house is
that so oh yes yes see we have a table
with one short leg
[Music]
this is hard to believe haven't you read
any of dickens famous classics you know
you might enjoy little women oh i've
enjoyed quite a few of them
but we're still on the subject of
literature i think i changed it for the
better
this is awful
our modern writers uh have been compared
unfavorably with the great 15th and 16th
century authors such as shakespeare
saucer and bacon now mortimer
well what do you think i wasn't thinking
how would you prepare the modern ones
with shakespeare chaucer and bacon
well i'll have some you'll have some
that's the worst
bacon no
i'm speaking of francis bacon oh
this is bacon the man oh call me out i
ain't no cannonball
gentlemen this is a discussion on
literature
certainly you have read some books oh of
course naturally yeah i mean i just read
that book about a bad day of santa anita
yeah
a book about a bad day santa anita yeah
you know the naked and the dead
yeah
another loser
i say did any of you read that new
english bestseller the the typewriter
murder mystery no or who shifted lady
chambliss carriage
my favorite is one of those mother goose
stories you know like little boy blue
can blow your nose one of those
you're a better man than i am rin tintin
i like it
my wife again no please
please i say
uh
just between ourselves is the new kinsey
report yeah oh yes this one's on the
love life of the mashed potato
the love life of the mashed potatoes oh
yes oh boy you'll be surprised of what
goes on under that gravy
i gotta take a look sometime
gentlemen we are here i repeat again to
discuss the basic difference between
modern and classical literature and
there are many of them mortimer would
you like to uh illustrate hmm i say
would you like to illustrate i know i
feel all right no no
i maintain that we're taking this
subject too lightly now you know that
socrates what he said about the
importance of literature no i don't
think i was listening
he said it before you were born well i
know i wasn't listening
for your information socrates lived many
years ago in old greece i say he must
have been a rancid old doctor
you're not trying to keep this on a
level feel at all
i just can't cope with this abysmal
ignorance being shown here tonight this
monumental illiteracy the crass
superficiality the utter incompetence
charlie i'm delighted to see you in such
a meanable mood today uh which a good
mood well you know easy going easy to
get along with likable gentle well it's
this sleigh bergen a a gentle act a
gentle word makes life pleasanter just
like it says in the song
listen
to welcome
you like that
i do charlie because it's true true not
only of people but of cigarettes that's
why for months all philip morris smokers
have enjoyed a new cigarette made gentle
for modern taste
born gentle then refined to special
gentleness in the making this new
cigarette comes as a wonderful surprise
to veteran smokers gives today's young
smokers just what they require in a
cigarette
enjoy the gentle pleasure the fresh
unfiltered flavor of new philip morris
you'll find it in a smart new red white
and gold package have a gentle pilot
morris made gentle for you
enjoy a new philip morris the gentle
cigarette
now here is edgar bergen and now it's
time for another bit of sage advice from
our rural philosopher mortimer and here
he is with snerd's words for the birds
[Music]
oh a half a loaf
is better
than no rest at all
next sunday good night everyone
remember to listen to edgar bergen with
charlie mccarthy more to mr ray noble
and the entire ensemble next sunday at
the same time tonight's edgar bergen
show with jack kirkwood carol richards
gary crosby and the mellow men was
produced and transcribed in hollywood by
sam pierce scripped by cyros hilda black
and zeno clicker this is john heaston
speaking
[Music]
oh
[Music]
i'm foreign
[Music]
you