from television city in Hollywood the
Jack Benny program of the special guest
Johnny Carson presented by Lucky Strike
[Music]
there's a time and a place for
everything and the right time for a
lucky is any time you want to enjoy a
great cigarette and the right place for
a lucky is wherever you happen to be at
the time you'll always enjoy Lucky's
because Lucky's taste better
Lucky Strike is made of fine naturally
good tasting tobacco and it's toasted to
taste better cleaner fresher smoother
yes sir Lucky's taste better anytime
anywhere
so right now light up a lucky it's light
up time enjoy the best tasting cigarette
you ever smoked
[Music]
thank you thank you very much ladies and
gentlemen and welcome to the Lucky
Strike program now if my voice should
give out any time during the show
that's because yesterday I went to the
Coliseum to see the USC UCLA football
game and that was really exciting and I
mean there was such a crowd there such
excitement and the betting that went on
there was everybody was waiting in bed
you know I lost three dollars myself
there was a pickpocket
he got me as I was coming through the
tunnel but not only that I must tell you
what else happened to me
finally the usher took me to my seat and
out of a hundred thousand people who do
you think I was sitting next to Dennis
day kid drives me nuts really you know
he was supposed to be on my show today
but I after what he did to me yesterday
I just couldn't take another half hour
of it you know well I'll tell you the
game had just got started and Dennis
handed me a hot dog
so I said Thank You Dennis I took a bite
out of it and fellas sitting on the
other side of me punched me in the nose
didn't tell me I was supposed to pass
finally the gun went off and Dennis says
goodbye mr. Benny I'll see you tomorrow
be careful driving home I said I will
Dennis I rushed out to beat the crowd
got my car and I was almost in Beverly
Hills before I realized that the gunshot
was only the end of the first half
you know why I can't have him around me
because he does however ladies and
gentlemen during rehearsal one day this
week I was coming in and there's a young
fella here who does his own show for CBS
and his name is Johnny Carson now as a
rule I do not rave about other comedians
but this fellow is everything it takes
to become a great success and he's so
young - anyway I asked him I said Johnny
as long as you're around here and you're
hurting would you mind coming on cuz I
love its work me would you mind coming
on just saying hello to the folks a few
words and here he is Johnny Carson
well Johnny I was just telling my
audience how much I enjoy your work and
I think in my opinion you're going to be
one of the real real great comedians
well thank you mr. Benny and all coming
from you that's a wonderful compliment
means a lot cause you know for years
you've been my idol really yeah I
remember I remember when you were in the
vaudeville I used to save up you know
pennies just so I could go down and
watch your work I'd sit up for hours in
the gallery and admire the way that
you'd hold the audience right the palm
of your hand every minute and I'd go
home at night and even lie awake and
wish that I could grow up to be just
like you mr. Benny you can call me jack
and even when I watch you on television
today during your own shows I I know
that I'm watching genius a master at
work well a little bit embarrassing well
and I won't go on Oh
go on you know you're my guest you can
say whatever you like all right you know
Johnny I meant to ask you one thing
during rehearsal yeah how long have you
been in showbiz two years two years guys
that's amazing I've been into
practically all my life well you're
certainly doing a wonderful job well
thank you Jack and I want to tell you
that I never missed one of your
television you watch all every single
one up now isn't that nice and Jack
mm-hmm Jack yeah would you mind if I
made a few little suggestions well in
the nature of constructive criticism you
don't mind do you no no I think
constructive criticism was good for
everybody how long do you say you
weren't children two years
well Johnny what are what are some of
these criticism well for one thing Jack
and I'm sure this can easily be
corrected
good pace seems to be a little off or
something not quite right it seems that
pacing seems a little slow when you
don't like my timing well let me put it
this way Jack it's alright to be slow
but you're sort of a lazy Perry Como I
think you know comments like that if
they could further my career and how
long will you choke
not two years and six months three years
three months
yeah sue you well Johnny how another
close they're more yes I'm kind of
concerned with that that long tape you
do it the audience do you mean you don't
like that after I tell a joke the way I
stare at the audience that no I always
have the feeling that you're surprised
they're still there
[Music]
unfortunately that also can be easily
correct oh that's fine well if you're
through well there is one more well then
tell me tell me I don't eat anything
away from your Idol well as long as I'm
being constructive Jack this I have to
tell you now you may not you know you
may not realize it but every move you
make your delivery every little
inflection that you have is exactly the
way I work and I don't think it's fair
so you're staring again
now listen to me mr. Carson call me John
you've got a lot of nerve saying that
I'm stealing your style everything I've
done so I've done since I started in
show business for 22 years and I were
gonna copy anybody wouldn't be an
unfunny untalented upstart like you
Johnny Carson I came out here at the
start of my show did not telling the
audience what I thought of you how
wonder about yak Jack wait a minute wait
just a second
remember when you asked me to be on your
show yeah you were the one who told me
to do this routine so we could get some
laughs I suggested that you and Sohn you
call me two weeks ago oh my goodness I
did Oh Johnny I'm terribly sorry really
I but I know you were so good I thought
you mended
now that you were kind enough to come on
my show I'd like to have you do
something by yourself oh I'll be fine
Jack you like me back to tell a little
joke you're so fine and Johnny I want to
say one more thing you you just keep on
improving the way you are you're a very
young felon it won't be long before you
will have your picture on the cover of
TV Guide like mine was on this week
actually ladies and tell I'm very happy
at all the Jack invited me on a show
down here and you know brought this
little routine we just did kidding you
know of course because even though I
admired Jack for four years we worked
nothing alike at all
I will say this I have to tell you know
Jack's eyes Jack's eyes are a little
bluer than mine
and so's his age anyway what I wanted to
tell you this
hey Charlie I didn't know with you I
thought Jack Benny was still here
confuse you too Oh Johnny you certainly
did but Johnny you know I must tell you
the most exciting thing happened this
morning T it just just thrilled me to
death well tell me Don tell me what is
well Johnny uh there was a long line of
people lined up in front of a cigarette
machine oh there must have been door 40
or 50 people there and everybody who put
money in that cigarette machine bought a
package of Lucky Strike no yes Johnny I
went around and I asked each one of them
individually why they smoked Lucky
Strike and every one of them said it's
because Lucky's are toasted to taste
better and Lucky's a cleaner fresher and
smoother I know I know and not only that
Johnny but Lucky's around herb fully
packed and pretty easy on the draw good
yeah yeah hold on seriously now I do
want to ask you one question how long
have you been working for Jack well now
let's see Johnny yeah I've been with
Jack since 1934 1934 yeah gee where's
Jack been paying you for two years
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
see the show's been over an hour before
now do ya know already well I'm sure he
won't be long
no hope not I don't want to
Chateaubriand well done yes nine o'clock
he's never been this late before
I better go turn down a fire on this
[Music]
Oh help me turn off the lights
what's the matter boss what's wrong
Rochester somebody's after me Oh boss
you made that picture 12 years ago I'm
serious
I decided to walk back from the studio
was getting dark I turned back in there
was a fella with his overcoat collar
turned out I think it's following how do
you know it was born how do I know every
time I look back he hid behind a tree
then he hid behind a bush I even went
down with dark alley I still couldn't
lose look boys you're getting yourself
all worked up over nothing old you know
at night time your imagination plays
tricks with you what you saw with your
shadows channel it could be my
imagination I don't know why would
anybody want to hurt me I'm such a sweet
guy modest you're kind and you're
considerate and I'm generous there goes
your imagination again
come on boss I've got your dinner
already sit down okay
funny Rochester we should get all upset
over nothing nothing to worry about
I guess I'll turn the lights back on
okay get a little bright around here all
right
wow you're having your jump is your I'll
go get you a Chateaubriand Thank You
Pierre
dee Pollock was your Maggie my getting
all worked up just over maybe some
shadows that's all they were shadows I
thought somebody was following me hello
hello
[Laughter]
what's the matter boss Rochester I just
answer the phone the fellow was on the
other end hung up how do you know
there's enough oh I know I could hear
the click I distinctly heard the sound
of a click maybe they were using a phone
booth in the sound you heard was the
dropping of a dying dropping of a dime
I've known that sound since I was 2
years old
don't get yourself all worked up Agha
did your sedative all right if I I mean
if I
I only knew why they were following even
only knew what they wanted get out of
town before it's too late get out of
town
just a note no ticket
operator operator operator hurry
number please operator look at this an
emergency
get me the police my tonic please one
moment please one moment please it's
always one Beverly Hills Police
Department Oh Oh officer look at my life
is in danger
officer I'm at 366 North Camden Drive
rush right over we three six six North
camp and Drive yeah who is this Jack
Benny gee you sound just like Johnny
Carson worried about Johnny Carson no
Rochester I thought you were going to
get me a sedative what took you so long
well when I opened the medicine cabinet
there were two boxes with no labels on
it so to tell which bill was which I
took one of them well could you tell
which was the sedative I must have a
fell asleep this is no time for jokes
righteous and I'm in danger I just call
the police why aren't they here look
boss boss I'll fix you a drink I'll fix
my own right there to me you have been
told to get out of town you now have 30
seconds to think it over
[Music]
it's the music
imagination again is not money you just
read the note didn't you - Rochester
I'll tell you somebody is after me I
know we just caught the prowler outside
mr. Benny
it is my men will bring him in so you
can make a formal complaint well holding
tight well yeah I know I don't have to
kill me sorry we got him under control
bring him in boys
[Applause]
[Music]
Dennis day you know mr. Benny you're the
one that's been making me a nervous
wreck
uh-huh that is why would you do this to
me because you wouldn't put me on your
show today is that an excuse for
following me down dark alleys perfect
for making a wreck out of me oh boy if
I'd only known her with you I didn't
want you to know it was me that's why I
always stayed a half a block away the
way I could feel your breathing down the
back of my neck I know you know how did
you breathe if you're a half a block
away down my neck
I had a long straw
[Laughter]
take him along with us mr. Benny huh
shall we take him along with us no leave
me leave him here yeah gee thanks mister
I don't know Dennis boy what you did to
me today I don't know for years I've
been lecturing here for years I've been
talking to you and I don't know nothing
seems to help well there's only one
thing I can do Rochester all right
Dennis take off your coat
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
the end of a perfect date when you stop
for a light snack and linger with your
lucky y Lucky's that's easy
Lucky's taste better naturally they do
Lucky Strike means fine tobacco and then
this fine good tasting tobacco is
toasted it's toasted to taste even
better cleaner fresher smoother so next
time you wanna linger light up a lucky
for the teeth that you line up the lucky
star right now light up a lucky
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
Dennis you're really a silly kid but I
must say you put it over on me today
gosh did I really you certainly did
gosh I don't know like walking home in
the dark like that I I was frightened I
had such an eerie feeling yeah what was
that mr. Benny
I said walking home I had such an eerie
feeling gee that's the place where I was
born
Erie Pennsylvania no feeling West
Virginia
Nana's the reason you raised such a
devil because you wanted to be on my
show nearly said something else but the
reason you wanted to say yeah alright
I'd like to sing a song that was written
by Sammy Cahn it's called
love and marriage you know you know mr.
Benny just to prove to you that my
feelings weren't hurt
I wrote a special lyric you know on the
second course and it's all about you oh
the second car is loved and married
dedicated to me that's right all that
sweet okay Malin
[Music]
love and marriage love and marriage go
together like a horse and carriage they
so tell you brother
you can't have one without the mother
won't and marriage and marriage it's an
institute you can't kiss marriage ask
the local
and breathe and they will say you teller
and we try to separate them it's an
illusion hey Brian you will only to this
conclusion love then marriage
love and marriage go together like a
horse and carriage dad was told by
mother you can't have one you can't have
none you can't have one without thee
[Music]
oh this is the I want you to hear
Jack and money Jack and Martha like a
bee and honey this'll tell you quickly
the part of spending mates and sickly
[Music]
you think that he'd be one
instead of acting like a miser
we try to get a raise from him
it's like magic fire me instead I would
you say it's tragic
mr. Benny mr. Barry I won't ask you for
another penny
[Music]
you know I had one line in the whole
song and I forgot
Paula was let me tell you brother
oh I come from doing so much radio yeah
ladies and gentlemen I do want to thank
Johnny Carson so much for being on the
show
Johnny come out and take a bow will ya
ladies you gentlemen incidentally he
does his own show on Thursday night on
the same way Network I'll be back with
you
two weeks from tonight there's a note on
it oh yes be sure and watch and Southern
next Sunday
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
program where Kim Deb's and Chucky
Bradley