the Jack Benny program
well professor Loveline come right in
mr. belly of violin teachers here just
follow me
here we are well good morning professor
LeBlanc good morning good morning
Rochester set up the music stand and
then fix some lunch really professor
would you like something to eat
no Michelle I would rather not give you
a lesson with anything in my stomach
how you feel try it I get sleepy too
you go usually should let us commence
with a lesson Oh professor there's
something I want to ask you do you
really think that you can make a great
violinist out of me well I can do
something but it will take time
how old are you why how much time have
we got left
and she let us commence with a lesson
okay oh there's the door I'll get it I
get it you
Rochester will get it yes and close the
door all right mister let us commence
with you a song
I was Lisbon
dan he's upstairs professor LeBlanc is
giving him a violin lesson Oh for
heaven's sake after all these years he
think he'd give up taking violin lessons
it's like throwing good money after bad
but this hasn't gotten the bad money yet
all right please don't tell mr. Benny
I'm hearing it yes ma'am wait no no no
mr. Benny you are doing it too long
again the least must believe that ball
you are not casting for town
but what Professor
again softly blue how many times do I
have to tell you smooth
yes sir
did you tell mr. Betty I was here this
lives and I wouldn't go in that room if
I had a whip in a chair sake what's
happening up there
hmm it's quiet now yeah
well Jack what happened professor
LeBlanc what a temper
where's the professor he's gone
well we didn't see him come out he
didn't use the door
yeah this is a second floor the
professor could have sprained his ankle
Mary after a man cuts his wrist
what's an ankle
now but I'll stand picture someone's
maybe you'll feel better
I don't want late lunch you go ahead
Rochester fixins for lunch Mary I told
you I don't want any lunch I just want
to be left alone Oh calm yourself Jack
you're all upset well of course I'm
upset why wouldn't I be all my life I've
dreamed of being a great violinist I'm a
nothing
Oh Technique no tone no talent and you
well don't argue with me I'm on your
side don't be funnin well Jack where you
doing I don't know I gotta take this
thing out
oh but Jack wait a minute Oh Jack your
pieces
all right Estie hello miss loosen come
on in mr. Bennet feeling any better
today no it's the same thing every
morning gets up won't is breakfast
that'll leaves the house he goes out to
the park sits on the bench all day
brooding that's where he is now well
that's good it'll give us a chance to
that idea thought about and you know
Rochester we've got to convince mr.
belli that he's a great violinist well
I'm not the recording machine did you
get someone to cooperate I got just the
man mr. Isaac Stern you know he's one of
the world's greatest violinist and a
very good friend of mr. Benny's and I'm
sure he'll help us out I called him so
he should be here any minute
good then I'll set the recording machine
I hope everything works
you know mr. Benny isn't even tend to
business his producer centers play over
and he won't even look at it
Oh own my I'll get it hope it isn't mr.
Benny it'll ruin everything
how are you Austin Louis done well Mary
when you called me and asked me to hurry
over with a violin I gather that it was
most urgent what is you see three days
ago Jack found out he wasn't a great
violinist only three days ago I think
with your help I we might snap him out
of it well Mary you know how I love Jack
and there's anything I can do to bring
the twinkle back to those big blue eyes
of his no I he's very happy to do it
well thanks a lot but we better hurry he
might be here any minute
so Jackson are really in a bad mood is
he yes sir
all because he found out he's a lousy
violinist Rochester lousy is a very
harsh word appropriate but harsh what's
his plan here ever mind was very simple
you see this is a recording machine yes
I know it starts here no no no mr. stern
that's the volume I'm sorry this is a
switch mm-hmm now if you'll get your
violin out and play a solo I'll make a
record of it and when mr. belli comes
I'll coax him into playing the same
number and tell him I'm making a
recording oh I see and when you when you
play it back to actually be me played
that's right and Jaco think he's
terrific
well that's a cute idea that's very
clever now if you're ready mr. stern we
can start recording ah
moving up the walk now well what are we
gonna do I haven't made a record yet see
I've got an idea mr. stern I think
you'll work just as well what is it you
hide in the closet and I'll get mr.
berry to play something and make believe
that I'm making a record of it and when
you hear me say play back you play the
same thing that mr. Bailey played I'm
willing to try it
well good luck fellas I'm going out the
back way
goodbye Mary Thomas turn you get your
violin come round in here okay now be
getting hungry there's a candy machine
right behind the back and cleaner
hello Rochester oh hello boss how you
feel how do you expect me to feel man
spends his whole life dreaming and
planning and hoping that someday you'll
become a great musician then everything
smashes in front of them boss you can't
go on like this look I can go hey what's
this or is a recording machine I bought
it from a friend of mine to prove to you
what a great violinist you are me I know
what I sound like
but that's just it boss you don't know
what you sound like
what when you play your violin you're
too close to it you're concentrating on
your fingering and your bowing you're
too occupied to hear the beautiful music
that comes out really did you buy will
you play something this machine will
make a record of it and you'll be able
to hear for yourself how beautiful it
sounds Oh Randall don't let me get you
bothered for you it's just Lyonya gather
and does well oh wow this is silly no no
come on play something now here's the
microphone
hey and then you just huh uh no no no no
no boss he'll pick up better if you see
if you stand facing this way
okay
oh listen oh no no no it isn't boss job
told you you were too close to it now
you just sit down and listen to it oh
this is ridiculous
no just close your eyes look down
honestly and listen to the playback
that's wonderful
I can't believe it's me
the fingering is perfect but I'll have
to work on the bullying but it sounds a
trifle crammed
that last passage what tone what
resonance did you really like it
boss I honestly say that was the work of
a great violinist
let me pick something no I'm too excited
he was the most wonderful thing that
ever happened to me why it brought back
my Rochester I never realized I was that
great what's wrong I got more important
things to do I'm going over the
recording company makes him record boss
you realize Rochester what a record by
me would mean why it would sell over a
million I get three cents a copy I make
a fortune
Oh what's the matter on the way to the
recording studio I have to pass my
producers office and as far as I'm
concerned he can have his playback
Rochester what's a reclining machine
stop it stop it hold it
how could a machine start by itself uh
switch time recording thank heavens
that's over yeah mr. stern but I I think
we overdid it why he's always way to a
recording studio to make records no well
I don't want to beat you when he gets
back I'm going now
well if you wait a minute I'll walk
along by the way with you why were you
going to an unemployment office might as
well get funny with him now
a Jack Benny and his magic violin take
mom
holy hold it what's the matter what's
the matter I never heard anything so
awful in my life well I've got news for
you bub
I mean you've been concentrating so much
on my fingering and bowing that you
couldn't hear what was coming out way
did you hear the planer what playback a
Jack Benny and his magic violin take one
Oh daddy Benny you're darn right it's
bad I don't know where you got that
engineer but he's off even though how to
make a recording hey yes I guess you're
right mr. Benny but he's the best we
could get and we have to do the best we
can with what we've got and uh well you
know how it is it's a shame but I I
guess you're stuck well good day mr.
Benny and thanks for coming in you're
welcome
Canada's dead how a good company can
have such an incompetent engineer I'll
never know mr. billionaire you and I
made the record on this machine it
sounded beautiful just you I want to
hear it again see how does this work now
they're this now mr. stern if you get
your violin out and play a violin solo
I'll record it oh and when you play it
back to mr. Benny in a play
you hide the closet I'll get mr. Dunn to
play something then when you hear me say
play back you play the same thing mr.
Bailey play
so that's it
they tricked me Oh Rochester ah come in
here I want to talk to you
you know what about come in here
take off that silly thing and fix me
some dinner you mean on that with me no
I guess not
after all you did it for my own good
anyway it serves me right for being such
a B ham hadn't gone to that recording
studio I'd have kept on thinking that I
was a great violinist but you are a
great violinist oh shut up
thank you very much ladies and gentlemen
I also want to thank mr. Isaac Stern one
of the world's truly great violinists
for being such a good sport I'd like to
have you meet him again and maybe you
play an encore for us mr. Isaac Stern
Isaac I do want to thank you very very
much for being on my show I was my
pleasure jack and you know now I have
the distinction of being the only
violinist was played in the Hollywood
Bowl
the Philharmonic auditorium Carnegie
Hall and Jack Benny's closet now I think
I'm sure that um all of us would like to
hear oh do you mind if I look at your
violin Jamal Jack no take care dude
yes yes I will beautiful tone oh it's a
wonderful instrument great help to me
it's it's cheap oh and cheap the inside
here says 1737 that's the year
now I think I am sure that all of us I
would like to hear you play a number
without interruption and I'll stand over
there listen
ladies and gentlemen with the assistance
of my longtime colleague mr. Alexander
zarkan we'd like to play for you
a polonaise brilliant in D major by
Sookie
because one - thank you jack pleasure
I must practice
you