the jack penny program transcribed and
presented by lucky strike
luckies taste better cleaner fresher
smoother
luckies taste better cleaner fresher
smoother
for lucky strike means tobacco richer
tasting
fine tobacco luckies taste better
cleaner fresher smoother
lucky strike lucky strike this is don
wilson
friends you may remember that last year
a survey was made in leading colleges
from
coast to coast this was a survey of
smokers
and it showed that luckies were the
favorite cigarette in those colleges
yes luckies were number one this year
another nationwide survey was made a
representative survey of all students in
regular colleges coast to coast
based on thousands of actual student
interviews
this survey shows that lucky's lead
again lead over
all other brands regular or king size
and by a wide margin these students were
asked why they smoked lucky's
the number one reason given this year
just as last
was lucky's better taste after all
smoking enjoyment is all a matter of
taste
and the fact of the matter is lucky's
taste better
they taste better because they're made
of fine naturally mild
good tasting tobacco and because they're
made better
that's why we're asking you to be happy
go lucky
get yourself a carton of lucky's the
first chance you have
be happy go lucky get better
the lucky strike program starring jack
benny with mary livingston rochester
dennis day bob crosby here's truly
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
and now ladies and gentlemen let's go
out to jack benny's house in beverly
hills
now the reason i'm keeping my voice down
is because it's four o'clock in the
morning
and i don't want to disturb our little
star who at the moment is
sound asleep
[Music]
huh what was that what was that
the phone it's a phone
who'd be calling me in the middle of the
night
it must be an emergency it's four
o'clock in the morning
maybe somebody's sick dennis or mary
i better answer it where are my slippers
oh there they are
coming coming
gee i hope they don't hang up
hello this is hank the all-night disc
jockey
if you tied spaghetti end to end how
many pounds would it take to go around
the world
why if you answer the question correctly
you'll win two glorious weeks at pismo
beats
now wait a minute it's four o'clock in
the morning that answer
is incorrect goodbye
how do you like that he hung up on me
well he's not going to get away with
that operator
operator number please oprah would you
please get me hank the disc
jockey at four o'clock in the morning
are you crazy
what if i were you buddy i'd crawl out
of that phone booth get a cup of black
coffee and go
home
[Music]
go home if you don't you'll hate
yourself in the morning
oh yeah well you're just a smart alex
let me talk to the head telephone
operator
i'm sorry but the head telephone
operator was busy
then let me talk to the supervisor the
supervisor isn't in
would you like to talk to alexander
graham bell
look i only oh never mind
gosh i'm so mad now i'll never get back
to sleep
imagine being awakened by a silly disc
jockey at four o'clock in the morning
sorry i answered it she'll let it ring
and ring it
hey wait a minute why didn't rochester
answer the phone
he couldn't have been that sound asleep
i'm gonna find out
rochester why didn't you
he's not here his bed hasn't been slept
in
25 after four and he's not home yet
well i'm going back to bed in the
morning i'm gonna tell him a thing or
uh oh there's the front door just as i
thought
it's rochester look at him sneaking into
the house
he's taking off his shoes now he's
tiptoeing across the living room
well i'd like to see him get out of this
all right chester
yes what are you doing up on your toes
i'm dancing the menu wow
roger what's the idea of coming in at
four o'clock in the morning coming
in i saw you open the front door and
come in oh oh
that well last night the club i belonged
to had a social gathering and the
president had intentions of breaking it
up at ten o'clock
oh ten o'clock eight that was his
intention what happened at 9 30 we
elected a new president
[Music]
i thought so now now i'm going back to
bed i'll talk to you about this in the
morning
now go to your room yes good night good
night good night
i hope i could fall back to sleep can't
get over that disc jockey
there ought to be a law against doing a
thing like that
hmm well i've been up a little while i
don't feel sleepy
matter of fact i feel good a lot of
people get up early in the morning
some of them even take long walks before
breakfast
they say it keeps them healthy maybe
that's what i need
more exercise i noticed lately that when
i tell people
i'm 39 some of them don't believe it
that's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna get
dressed and take a nice long walk
i think i'll call mary and ask her if
she'd like to go with me
hello hello mary
who is this mary this is jack
jack jack what's the matter nothing mary
i just call ash if you'd like to go for
a walk with me
walk jack what time is it
20 minutes or 5. 20 minutes
to 5. yes ma'am i figured if we walk
down wilshire boulevard and headed east
you see we can see the sun right jack
what is it mary
let me talk to the man
what man the man and the white cult
there must be one of them with you
mary i'm not crazy well you must be
something
calling me up to go for a walk at five
o'clock in the morning
i told him to get a cup of black coffee
and go home
operator get off the line
this is none of your business now mary
if you'll get dressed
i'll be right over how do you like that
she hung up oh well i don't care what
mary thinks i made up my mind to go out
for a walk
and that's what i'm going to do
gosh i've never been out so early in the
morning the sun hasn't
come up yet the air is so nice and brisk
here comes the street cleaner good
morning mister
good morning mac i can see now why the
streets of beverly hills are so clean
thanks mac but that's what i get paid
for i pick up papers leaves rubbish
anything i find lying in the street i
pick up and put in this barrel
and then i take it over to the city dump
and uh
hey wait a minute mike you can't take
nothing out of that barrel
but he's a friend of mine remly
remember wake up hey you really know him
certainly that's frank remley he leads
the orchestra at the center grill
that's where i found him laying in front
of
well did you have a lot of trouble
getting him into the barrel oh i didn't
put him in a barrel
you see we street cleaners all go by
numbers uh-huh
the number on my barrel is 102 and when
he saw that he dived right in
oh yes that's his favorite beer that and
101 others
anyway it serves them right take them to
the city dumb i did that yesterday and
they refused them
what's
well try again okay so long mac so long
so long
gosh since since remly's become a
celebrity things are really different
now they pick them up they used to sweep
around them
i can't understand why mary didn't want
to take a walk with me
she at 5 30 in the morning you see
things so differently
after the sun comes up i'm gonna walk
back home and eat a nice
big breakfast
gosh i just can't get over it me jack
benny walking the streets at this hour
of the morning
things sure look different and quiet too
just a few people here and there on
their way to work
i bet this fellow walking behind me
would be surprised to find out that
he was walking on the same side of the
street with a star of stage screen
radio and television
i beg your pardon but may i have your
autograph
oh oh you recognize me no i heard you're
talking to yourself
gosh this is embarrassing you must have
thought i was egotistical i thought you
were nuts
look better do you or don't you want oh
i'm sorry mister i gotta catch a button
excuse me
what a smart aleck i hope he misses it
oh well
a kiss on the hand may be quite
continental
but diamonds are a girl's best friend
look at that tin can on the sidewalk
there
a kiss may be grand but it won't
pay the rental on your humble
flat or help you at the ottoman
whoops it went out in the street
yeah i remember when i was a kid i used
to kick a rock all the way to school
they didn't have tin cans in those days
hmm look at the picture they're showing
at this theater
from here to eternity she at
5 30 in the morning a theater looks so
empty
there isn't even a girl in the box
office selling tickets
i've never seen a theater so empty
yes i have but i don't want to think
about it
i better start back home now this walk
has really worked up an appetite
jack jack benny bob bob crosby well jack
the sun hasn't come up yet what in the
world are you doing out on the street
i'm just taking a little walk but bob
where are you and bagby and fletch and
kimmy can sammy the drummer driving to
well jack my boys in the band don't get
much time for relaxation so i'm taking
them duck hunting
oh is that why you're wearing those red
coats oh certainly that's a safety
measure so the other hunters can see you
hey that's wait a minute only four of
you are wearing the red code well i know
bagby doesn't have one
well aren't you worried no piano players
are a dime a dozen
a bagby's caliber yes
well i do hope you bring back a lot of
ducks oh we can't miss
we got the most unusual decoy i say now
when we get out to the lake yeah
sammy the drummer has agreed to wade out
into the water
until just his head sticks out
what kind of a decoy is that sammy's
head doesn't have any feathers well i
know
but the ducks will think it's an egg and
they'll fly down and they'll sit on it
oh i get it then while the duck is
sitting on sammy's head
you'll all start shooting oh not so loud
jack he doesn't know about that part of
it
oh good good well we better get started
jack it's a long drive to the high
sierras
hi sierra bob you're heading in the
wrong direction well i know but we've
got to go down to city dump and pick up
remley
oh yes well so long bob so long jack
the day is starting to break
well i think i've walked enough i'm
getting a little tired too
i better head for home
[Music]
ah well here i am back home that sure
was a long walk
i think i'll go right in and go to bed
oh darn it i forgot my key
gosh my legs are so tired i can hardly
stand up
don what are you doing here oh i brought
the sportsman quartet over so you could
hear the commercial
this early in the morning early in the
morning why it's a quarter to ten
oh my goodness i really took a long walk
boss would you like some breakfast i
just made some dollar-sized pancakes no
i'm too tired to eat
put them back in the safe i mean
refrigerator
look jack how come you took such a long
walk so early in the morning oh some
silly guy who called himself
hank the disc jockey called me at four
o'clock this morning i'm kidding jack
did he ask you if you tied spaghetti in
the end how many pounds would it take to
go around the world
yes don how did you know i won ten
dollars for sending in the question
you don wilson jack jack the sportsman
in a hurry how about listening to the
commercial don
i'm too tired i can hardly keep my eyes
on well this won't take long i hit it
fellas
you better wake up wake up you sleepy
head get up
get up get out of bed cheer up sun it's
time that you were
rising
when the red red robin comes
there'll be up more sobbing when he
starts dropping his old
sweet song wake up
wake up you sleepy head get up get up
get out of bed cheer up cheer
[Music]
but still i listen four hours
i'm just a kid again doing what i did
again
singing a song when the red red robin
comes dropped
and now how about a commercial you mean
we gotta have a commercial we didn't
have one at rehearsal
makes no difference we gotta have it now
well now let me think let me see
there is no no nothing like puff puff
puff and a lot
that's good he's dry it's the best smoke
yet it's a cigarette you are sure
to lie light up light up
[Music]
they're really really really really
better you'll be
starting rightful buy a carton tonight
they're open
let's light a lucky strike luckies have
a taste you like
that's like one now won't you know
there's
[Music]
my
well well zach how'd you like the
commercial
jack how do you like that he fell asleep
and didn't even hear it
come on fellas let's go
mr benny look at him lying down on the
couch
fast asleep there's nothing in the room
to cover him up with
i don't want him to catch cold maybe i
better take it off his head and put it
on his chest
no i'll just get a blanket out of it
coming
oh good morning rochester oh good
morning miss livingston come on
in rochester did you know that at 20
minutes to five this morning mr benny
called me and asked me to go out for a
walk
he did who does he think he is bernard
mcfadden
he will be in about four more years
uh where's mr benny now he's asleep on
the couch in the living room
well i'm going in there and wake him up
come on
uh jack jack wake up miss liverson why
don't you pat his cheek
yeah oh jack
jack what is it marilyn
huh what's everybody talk oh it's you
mary
what are you doing over here what am i
doing over here
yesterday you asked me to go with you to
buy some new suits for your television
shows
so come on let's go but mary i'm too
tired well it's your own fault
imagine getting up at four o'clock in
the morning to take a walk well don't
blame me blame
hank the all-night disc jockey jack i
don't know what you're talking about all
i know is you made a date with me to go
buy some new clothes so put on your hat
and come on
look mary i'm too tired anyway my car
isn't running
all right we can take the bus right down
to hollywood the bus oh
all right
[Applause]
you see jack it only took 12 minutes to
get down here
now where's the clothing store you go to
just around the corner
i don't know why we had to get on such a
crowded bus
i had to stand all the way i know
what are you laughing at you were so
tired instead of holding on to the strap
you just stuck your head through the
loop and fell asleep
[Music]
what's funny about that at the next stop
a man got on
took one look at you dangling there and
said i know his last picture was bad but
somebody went too far
mary he probably just said that for a
gag then why'd he cut you down
i don't know i'm too tired to argue with
you
here here's the clothing store
oh jack stop yawning
i can't help it i'm so sleepy i can
hardly keep my eyes open
well this won't take long oh here comes
this elephant how do you do
oh no
uh clerk mr benny wants to buy a new
suit well whether he wants to or not he
should
look mister i'd like to get home i was
up at four o'clock this morning and i
very well i'm sure you'll like both our
materials and price range
the price range yes we have some
beautiful suits at 28.75 and 29.50
or would you prefer something cheaper
i didn't come in here for anything cheap
i'll take the 29.50
i'm proud of you boy mary please
look mister how can you possibly afford
to sell suits at such low prices
oh that's simple you see we have no
costly fixtures
oh charlie pick up some of those suits
off the floor and show them to mr ben
never mind i don't want those very well
hey would you like to see something in a
sport outfit
a sport outfit yes that's when the coat
and pants don't match
oh now if you're looking for a real
bargain i can show you a beautiful pair
of sport pants
sport pants yes the legs don't match
mary let's go home will you i'm tired oh
jack don't be so stubborn
if they don't have a suit to fit you
maybe they can make one to order
hey that's a brilliant idea i'll go get
some material look mister while you're
going do you mind if i lie down on these
chairs
not at all jack if you lie down they
won't be able to measure you
oh yes we can our tailor used to work
for pierce brothers
[Music]
i'll stand up i'll stand up oh i just
happen to remember
our tailor is off today i'll have to fit
you myself well for heaven's sakes get
started yeah i will i will
would you like me to measure your chest
or would you rather not know
looking i'll cut that off
mary i've got to get some sleep let's go
home jack if you don't buy a suit now
you'll never buy one
okay okay i'll take that blue one but
jack it may not be your size i don't
care what size it is i want to get some
sleeve
now how much is that 29.50 okay here's
the money come on mary i want to get
home uh uh uh
just a minute huh we always like to
check on our advertising
did you come into our store because you
saw our ad in the paper or did you hear
our program on the radio
radio yes we sponsor hank the all-night
disc jockey
hey the all night you
you're choking i don't care what i'm
doing nobody's gonna wake me up at four
o'clock in the morning and get away
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen one of our greatest
national hazards is fire
tonight through carelessness a fire
could start in your home
and a life could be lost don't let it
happen be on guard constantly against
fire
make sure every match every cigarette is
out before you discard it
empty all ash trays before leaving the
house or going to bed
observe all fire regulations don't give
fire a place to start
thank you
jack will be back in just a minute but
first
remember the winner of the twenty five
thousand dollar tamashana
lou worsham here he is to get a word in
wedge-wise
hello folks the club that i have in my
hand is a double service wedge
you'll remember that i made one of the
most lucrative shots that i have ever
made
with this club during the tamashana
tournament
i used this club at the last hole from
115 or 20 yards away
and made one of the luckiest shots of my
whole life
other golfers might have chosen an eight
or a nine iron
to play this shot to me the wedge has
been one of my favorites
on that day that was a lucky choice
and when it comes to cigarettes of my
choice
luckies they taste better lou worsham is
right
smoking enjoyment is all a matter of
taste and the fact of the matter is
luckies taste better because lucky
strike means fine tobacco
and luckies are made better so be happy
go lucky ask for a carton of lucky
strike
[Music]
are you comfortable mr benny yes
rochester you want another blanket
no no i'm perfectly comfortable now look
i want to get a good long
sleep so no phone calls no disturbances
of any kind
yes sir i hope you sleep well boys thank
you
[Music]
oh oh boy that was a good sleep
ten full hours i really feel great
but what am i gonna do now it's it's
four o'clock in the morning again
well i guess i'll just have to take
another walk
the jack benny program was written by
sam perrin milt josephsburg george
balzer
john tackleberry al gordon hal goldman
and produced and transcribed by hillard
marks
be sure to hear the american way with
horus height for lucky strike every
thursday over this same station
consult your newspaper for the time the
jack benny program is brought to you by
lucky strike
product of the american tobacco company
america's leading manufacturer of
cigarettes
and now stay tuned for the amazon andy
show which follows immediately
on the cbs radio network
you