Merrigan there's never a rough pup in a
lucky that's right friends for Lucky's
are always mellow mild and deeply
enjoyable here's why in a cigarette it's
the tobacco that counts and LS MFT Lucky
Strike means fine tobacco yes today
tomorrow always Lucky Strike means fine
tobacco light ripe tobacco that always
smoked smoother milder puffs after puffs
pack after pack now fine tobacco costs
more and at the auctions Lucky's pay
more millions of dollars more than
official parity prices to get really
fine tobacco for your cigarette so
friends for smoking enjoyment at its
finest with never a rough puff light up
a lucky every puff of the way you'll get
more much more real deep down smoking
enjoyment yes the next time you buy
cigarettes ask for a carton of Lucky
Strike so round so firm so fully packed
so free and easy on the draw
[Music]
the Lucky Strike program starring Jack
Benny with very Livingston Phil Harris
Rochester Dennis Davis Boston content
and yours truly
[Music]
[Applause]
ladies and gentlemen 1949 is gone and
forgotten but to Jack Benny 1950 will
always be remembered because 1950 is
what he paid for his new suit and here
he is Jack Benny
thank you thank you hello again this is
Jack Dundee talking him down I want to
ask you something how did you know that
I bought a new suit I heard it on bear
walk wait him and I want to hear
this what I heard it on Drew Pearson
Sprott cat he got the award for being
the best announcer
and gives you a rough idea doctor Gallup
must have given it to you
now wait a minute Don draw Driessen are
powered by Koch Pearson as a commentator
who specializes in national affairs why
would he mention that I bought a suit
for $19.50 because Wall Street feels
that it indicates a definite trend
toward a bull market understand it a man
goes out and buy the plain herringbone
suit and it shakes the economic system
of the nation
I need wool socks too but who knows what
it'll do to England but you know Dan I
really bought this new because I thought
I was going to be invited to Clark
Gable's wedding well the reason you
weren't invited Jack was because they
wanted to keep it a secret I know not G
and when Clark got married he certainly
left a trail of broken heart yeah there
has been so many gals weeping and
wailing since Alice slipped the ring
over my finger well if it isn't a
bashful blonde from elbow bang they fell
wait a minute Jackson before we get into
one of them routines I would like to
greet my orchestra say good afternoon
gentlemen
maestro I call you mice well how come
you and your musicians are treating each
other with so much dignity on New Year's
Eve we all made a resolution well I'm
glad to hear it
I figured that the clowning and kidding
we did was all right for the first 5 or
10 years but now my orchestras reached
the position of prestige in the
entertainment world and we should do
nothing to jeopardize wonderful by the
way I noticed that your brass section is
missing how come their parole was
canceled on New Year's Day
well I'm glad that 703 896 is still with
us I like the way he's sandpapers his
fingers before he plays the piano what a
gang well this is a new year 1950 why
don't you do something about your
orchestra well I made well just look at
Remley sitting there on his stool sound
asleep
using his guitar for a pillow well that
ain't Frankie's fault Jackson it's not
his fault you know you don't get much
rest when you sleep under the sink on
the piano or in a bathtub wait a minute
you mean Frankie sleeps in those kind of
places look daddy sleeps in the place he
was when the bottle last ran dry what
you know when your knees buckle you
ain't always over a feather van
I guess not but you think oh hello Mary
hello Jack I was just got well Jack
you're wearing that new suit you bought
last year's Dion - yes married it wait a
minute how did you know I bought it last
Tuesday Truman had in his message to
Congress oh yes they booed the cult and
cheered the pants I remember that what
excitement so Barry you know I haven't
seen you since the Rose Bowl game that's
right jack some crowd out there what a
Mary oh we didn't go to the game we
watched on Jack's new television set you
mean jack got a television set uh-huh
well don't tell me that tighter than
springtime is finally loosened up oh he
didn't buy it it came with his new suit
Mary don't be ridiculous the Warner
Brothers gave it to me well it's about
time you certainly gave it to them yeah
now kid let's cut out the small talk
because we've got a very important show
to do yeah it's Barry Allen gotta be on
this program today no no Mary Allen will
be with us next week the train he was
coming out on how to go through a
sheepdip treatment at the board
they had a dip him twice like we're
doing a very important play it's an
exciting mystery melodrama that takes
place in a restaurant come on come on
let's get this corny sketch over with
huh Dennis you're late so what you want
to make something out of it what you
heard me Clyde you ain't wearing
earmuffs Dennis Dennis Dennis Dennis
Dennis you make me sick
now look kid if you think you can come
in crowd me son
for heaven's sake Dennis what's come
over you my new year's resolution
nobody's pushing me around anymore
that's telling me more me yeah
look Dennis leave Malone Jax and I told
him to get tough oh oh I see I see
what'd you say Dennis nobody's pushing
me around anymore from now on I'm
getting what I want
hey you and the high heels me yes you
toots come here
go ahead Mary go ahead yes now put your
arms around me and hold me tight tight I
said put my arms around you squeeze you
like this and and he'll what do I do now
well the first thing you do Dan is a
stop acting silly yes sir and the third
thing you do is sing your song
what's the second let go of Mary now go
ahead
[Applause]
[Music]
Oh
[Music]
your fragrance
[Music]
of the haze of my childhood what you
bloom in Wow and I hope you be more
Oh
[Applause]
[Music]
like each dude Robert Hall
[Music]
when I look my away Twitter and I find
you
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
I await with a saw and my mind
[Music]
Oh
[Applause]
that was Marta sung by Dennis day very
good Dennis that was really wonderful
thank you mister murnian congratulations
on your new suit well thank you Dennis
how did you know I bought a new suit
didn't the lyrics oh don't cry Joe
such a fuss over a suit it's only
herringbone you know wormy for our
feature attraction tonight we are going
to present a melodramatic mystery
entitled murder at Romanovs this scene
takes place at one of the most
fashionable restaurants in Beverly Hills
where all of hmm excuse me hello hello
mister
Rochester I'm in the middle of the
program I know boss but this day
important the man from the life
insurance company was here about that
policy you're taking out and he asked me
a lot of questions well I hope you
answer them right oh I did when he asked
me you're hiding I said five-foot-ten
uh-huh
you're wait 164 uh-huh you're 839 uh-huh
we had quite a roundtable discussion on
that wait a minute Roger sir why should
there be any question about my age oh it
wasn't the question it was the hassle we
had so well I'll straighten that out
when I see and what other questions were
there well your eyes blue uh-huh call um
your hair blonde you told him I was a
blonde
you must be I got the red round and
black ones in the back
oh yes what else happened well then I
told him what you wanted and he says
that never in the history of the life
insurance business there's a policy been
made out that way well then you insist
that I want it that way Rochester you
happily told me no matter what you say
you can't be a long beneficiary hmm but
I finally convinced him that you
wouldn't take the policy out unless you
could be and what'd he say he said just
leave a forwarding address they'll mail
it on - good good anything else no
that's all okay goodbye Rochester all
right kids let's not waste any more time
an hour ladies and gentlemen for our
feature attraction tonight we bring you
that melodramatic mystery entitled
murder at Romanov
[Music]
set the scene down our play opens in the
private office captain Oh Benny of the
Beverly Hills police curtain music now
listen men have been a lot of complaints
we've got to straighten things up around
here you first officer O'Day what I do
now
yesterday I set you out in a simple
assignment all you had to do is look for
cars parked next to fire hydrants and
give our traffic tickets well I did all
day how many times must I tell you put
the tickets on the cars not the Hydra
[Laughter]
and you all Wilson you haven't been
attending to your duties either I'm
sorry sir being sorry doesn't help
remember you're the only man on the
police force who was a condemned
murderer hey chief how come we have a
murderer working with us well on the day
of his execution he started ordering his
last meal and the state couldn't afford
it but I we discussed it with you man
while we even have our bloodhound Prince
are smarter than you
come here Prince here Prince Prince how
much is one and two well oh oh that's
right now what six minus four now well
right again Prince now what is the
square root of 73 thousand four hundred
twenty nine put down that pencil and
figure it out in your hand
[Music]
stupid dog men today I want hello
Beverly Hills police captain Oh Benny
speaking hello
captain this is Mitzi LaRue Mitzi Lihue
mate'll ro hello Mitzi how do you do
[Music]
Prince put down those drums never should
have given them to him for Christmas now
what is it mr. rule well captain I'm the
cigarette girl at Romanovs respin I want
to report that a man named Carlton
Quinn's was murdered here two hours ago
two hours ago yes what was that another
murder no the same one what we had a
transcribe for release this more
convenient time
good we'll be right over goodbye all
right men get off the squad car there's
been a murder at Romanovs and I'll find
out who killed Carlton quince or my name
a Lucky Strike means fine tobacco from
them Furman phony accent S&P Ellison T
everybody knows that Lucky Strike
billions more for fine tobacco yes sir
okay man doesn't Romanovs wrestler and
that man in that red uniform and gold
braid must be the doorman I'll ask him
pardon me are you the doorman well who
do you think I am drear
[Applause]
[Music]
all right now stand aside let me in you
can't get in here unless you have a
reservation a reservation well if you
say anything about being an inn you know
punch you right in the nose I was trying
to switch it oh look there's been a
murder committed in here I'm capital
Benny so stand aside while I doorman
what are you staring at Oh
how did you know I heard it on the frost
warning out of my way come on man let's
go inside
I'm gonna find the murder of cotton
quince or my name ain't Ellis Ellis
Ellis M&T me fine enlighten Martha back
Oh yessiree
Hey Hey geez this place is sure crowded
with celebrities yeah drew you mean your
search the premises now I'm going to
question some of these people I think a
little short guy over there is the owner
of the place hey you what's your name I
am Prince Michael Romanoff
[Applause]
I'll tell me Prince Romanoff what do you
know about this murder murder has there
been a murder here
yeah sure cigarette girl called me and
told me about it well here she comes now
Oscar tell me Mitzi
have we had a murder today yes Carlton
quince well
[Music]
[Laughter]
one lousy with her
[Laughter]
Darrien at the corner table dead
so here's streams I didn't notice it
before wait a minute who you trying to
kid don't tell me you didn't notice him
with all that blood on his shirt I
thought it was boss oh yeah now come
clean Romanoff did you kill count and
quinces it couldn't have been me captain
I wasn't even here when the murder was
committed
where were you having lunch at Simon's
drive-in
how come you weren't eating here who can
afford these prices who's that sitting
over there eating that big steak
Simon he's loaded
[Applause]
nobody leave this room there's been a
murder committed raise your voice chief
you remember this is the classiest joint
in town some clash look at that broom
leaning against the table
well that's no broom that's Frank
Sinatra I've gone over talking say you
are you Frank Sinatra won't you tell me
when we will meet again Sunday Monday
[Applause]
I'll be satisfied with you by my side
quiet all day
where's hole Wilson in your kitchen
where else you go look for clue now
listen Sinatra what were you doing at
the time of the murder I was eating
lunch a likely story
what did you have a raisin
one reason for lunch why am I stuck
nevermind now I wanted to play captain
Oh Benny that's a beautiful new suit
you're wearing of course 1950 didn't it
yes how did you know last Friday I sang
don't cry Joe oh yeah now tell me Frank
what do you know about the murder of
count and quinces well personally I
think Romanoff did it oh you do well
I'll call him back again Oh Prince not
you stupid dog put down that pencil if
you haven't figured it out yet forget it
Prince Michael come here
yes kept no belly's so not to think
you're the man who murdered you know
Benny captain Oh Vinny what is it o day
would you think a man is guilty if you
saw him running around with a smoking
gun in one hand a blood-stained knife
and the other and he kept yelling I did
it I did it I did well of course that
man is guilty I see anyone like that
good good tell me captain Oh Benny who
is this peasant I'm I'm officer O'Day
who are you
I am his imperial Highness Prince
Michael Romanov well how do your dog
[Applause]
cut that out all day I want to finish
questioning Sinatra where did he go Here
I am captain Oh Benny you got to do
something about this dog of yours what
about the dog he keeps taking me out in
the yard and burying me ah come on now
doggie put me down yeah put Frankie down
stop beating his head against the floor
it takes a dog drums and he goes crazy
now look we're not getting anywhere in
this investigation hey captain what is
it Missy why don't you question that
woman at the corner table she look
suspicious okay I will nobody leave here
like him back come on man I'll find out
I'll kill Kult and quince or my name all
right miss I'm captain Oh Benny what's
your name Rosalind Russell
[Music]
now wait a minute miss Russell this is
our restaurant who's applauding you the
waiters I'm a heavy tipper well I
wouldn't know about that now what were
you doing at the time of the murder
believe me captain Oh Benny I had
nothing to do with the murder
how does salutely nothing I was just
sitting here eating my lunch a likely
story
what a gap for lunch well I started off
with tomato juice no it was pruned you
know tomorrow juice and then I had
consummate and then I had a filet mignon
medium-rare and potatoes fried potatoes
miss Russell have you ever won the
Academy Award no but I'm always in there
punching
[Applause]
now just a minute miss Russell where
were you when Carlton quince was
murdered I was in the theater watching
my new Columbia picture tell it to the
judge
and by the way congratulations on your
new suit how did you know it was in the
newsreel hey that's a nice dress you're
wearing it's taffeta isn't it yes yes it
is taffeta would you mind getting up
walking around a bit
walk around why I always wanted to hear
Rosalind Russell please I just had my
lunch Thomas Russell what do you know
about this murder
nothing nothing why don't you ask Gene
Kelly over there Gene Kelly oh yes I'll
go over and talk to him and I'll find
out who killed Carlton Quinn's or my
name that was the lousy estanque I've
ever heard in my life you one rehearsal
you're Gene Kelly aren't you
now what were you doing at the time of
the murder Kelly come on Kelly talk this
is radio not television
okay okay I'll talk I'll talk I thought
you would now what were you doing two
hours ago at the time of the murder I
was in the Egyptian theater watching
that new metro-goldwyn-mayer Technicolor
picture on the town which stars Gene
Kelly Frank Sinatra Betty Garrett and
Jules munchin it was directed by Gene
Kelly who also appeared in such
sensational hits has take me out to the
ballgame the pirate Anchors Aweigh and
in a spare time gives dancing lessons to
Arthur Murray I see yeah what did you do
after you left the theater I rushed
right over here
why I couldn't wait to see your new suit
how did you know I had a new suit well
while I was sitting in the Egyptian
theater watching that new
metro-goldwyn-mayer Technicolor picture
on the town which stars Gene Kelly Frank
Sinatra Betty Garrett and Jules Munson
and was directed by Gene Kelly who also
appeared in such sensational hit says
take me out to the ball game the pirate
Anchors Away yes what was it you asked I
asked you how you knew I had a new suit
oh oh yes well while I was in the
Egyptian theater whatever
now look Kelly I'm gonna find out who
killed Carlton quince if it takes me
clear into the middle of Amos and Andy
I'll come clean Kelly why did you kill
Carlton Quinn I didn't do it
it was Mitzi LaRue I didn't do it it was
Mike Romanov I didn't do it
it was Rosalind Russell I didn't do it
great Frankie I haven't accused you yet
what's going on here anyway now look
somebody in this room murdered Carlton
quince and I'm gonna find out who I beg
your pardon but I have to go now huh
who are you Carlton quince Carlton
quince why you're the murdered man I
know but I have to go to rehearsal not
killing me again tonight on the Whistler
under whisker probe yes would you hand
me that napkin please
then act I want to wipe off this borscht
they're strangling me there well that's
a lot may I have your autograph
certainly thank you music please
[Music]
my mother sold
Merrigan friends is certainly true that
when you smoke you want smoothness
mildness and deep down enjoyment and
that's precisely what you'll get with
every Lucky Strike you like because
there's never a rough puff in a lucky
just think of that friends Lucky's are
always smooth mild and mellow every puff
of the way for you see it takes fine
tobacco to make a fine cigarette and LS
MFT Lucky Strike means fine tobacco a
fine tobacco costs more and Lucky's pay
more that's right Lucky's pay millions
of dollars more than official parity
prices to get ripe mellow tobacco for
your Lucky Strike just listen for a
moment to what the tobacco experts say
about the kind of leaf Lucky Strike buys
take mister L garland Griffin a tobacco
auctioneer from Clarksville Virginia who
recently said all in all I've sold over
a hundred million pound a tobacco and
season after season I've seen Lucky
Strike buy find Abeka
prime ripe leaf the kind a tobacco for
downright good smoky AB smoke Lucky's
regularly for fourteen years now there's
a tip for your friends from a man who
really knows tobacco so for your own
deep down smoking enjoyment light up a
lucky you'll agree with the tobacco
experts with a millions who choose
Lucky's for a finer milder smoother
smoke yes puff after puff pack after
pack there's never a rough puff in a
lucky good reason to make your next
carton Lucky Strike
[Music]
alright men were on our way back to the
station I better make a report calling
all cars calling all cars
captain Oh Benny the Romanoff murder
murder mystery has been solved thanks to
Michael Romanoff Frank Sinatra rosin and
Russell and Gene Kelly that is all
headquarters you got anything to report
yes chief something just came in on a
color fight what is it it says Fred
Allen will be the guest star on a Jack
Benny program next week mmm that'll
really be murder
hey we're supposed to make a right turn
to the police station you turned left
you stupid dog how he never got his
driver's license I'll never know
he's something he's gonna stay in the
day in the life of Dennis day
[Applause]
immediately this is CBS the Columbia
Broadcasting System
[Applause]