the Jack Benny program quality of
product is essential to continuing
success
LS MF t LS MF t LS MF t draw things
that's right Lucky Strike means fine
tobacco so free and easy on the draw yes
Lucky Strike means fine tobacco so round
so firm so fully packed so free and easy
on the draw independent tobacco expert
know who buys worth tobacco mr. Adel
Isaac's independent tobacco expert in
warehouseman of Lebanon Kentucky said I
smoked Lucky's for the same reason that
so many other tobacco men smoke them
simply because I have seen Lucky's buy
fine tobacco and our smoke Lucky's for
13 years in a cigarette it's the tobacco
that counts and Lucky Strike means fine
tobacco so smoke that smoke of fine
tobacco Lucky Strike
[Music]
hello National Broadcasting Company I'm
sorry operator can you tell me what's on
the earth four o'clock today the Lucky
Strike program starring Jack Benny
Oh Jack Benny
we maple that's the sixth one today well
I'm still ahead I've got AIDS
oh you always lucky you've won last year
- yeah mr. Denny ought to know better
than open his program during the hunting
season
yeah yes the Broadcasting Company say
operator can you tell me what's on the
air at 4 o'clock today the Lucky Strike
program starring Jack Benny and Jack
Benny hey maples Wow
this one not to use tonight
[Music]
yeah I'll be glad when today is over so
I can go home and take off this black
dress yeah and it's so hard to talk
through this veil yeah hey
maple look at the switch for Japanese
dressing room is cooling shall I take it
go - do you want to get it what's the
difference he's not gonna kill himself
anyway yeah then that should work
yes sir operator this is Jack Benny
operator with the change of time today
I'd like to check my watch what time is
it please
it's 20 minutes to three twenty minutes
of three that's funny I've got 20
minutes to 4 hold on
Mable what time have you got 20 minutes
of 5:00
20 minutes no no good should you move to
watch soccer now and you spoke them over
the head GI you dumb I'm not as dumb as
mr. Benny he didn't move it at all
later I heard that and I'm going to
report you a girl who thinks he's smart
or a telephone operator she's a lousy
dancer too
[Music]
I better hurry and get ready after all
it's 20 minutes or something all watch
Esther's ball I told him to the time
change at two o'clock in the morning to
set all the clocks on the house and my
watch to anyway I better get ready
I wish NBC would give me a better
dressing room this tile floor is so cold
on my bare feet
now let's see where did I put money Oh
so you finally got here Oh
a lot better you know this is my first
program I'm nervous and excited why do
you have to be late late I got 20
minutes to two
no wonder our watches are all mixed up
and it's your Paul yeah what were you
supposed to do at two o'clock this
morning two o'clock this morning oh I
did that boss he did why I tiptoed into
your room and put a hot water bottle on
your feet is that all you did well I
must confess boss I tickled your toes a
little oh well thank you yeah and what I
saw the way your arms round until I
figured you were expecting something
raucous I always sleep with my arms
around the pillow
I know but last night you looked at it
and said don't you think you can live as
Jesus wore I said that to the pillow
yeah then I waited three minutes and
when it didn't answer I walked out
no darn I do the silliest thing to my
sleep imagine talking to a pillow
Rochester why didn't you wake me up
hey Guardian boss you were dancing
well I just had one of those nightmares
I'm always nervous before an opening
broadcasts yeah the rest of the gang is
here only watch it you called mr. Harris
like I told you to yes hasn't been home
for two weeks made it gave me this
number okay I'll call it probably spills
office and that he's been knocking
himself out for the last two weeks
making special musical arrangements Josh
Paul Rome
those full room snooker games arranged
for schnooks
[Music]
what radar cuspidors you can't less
will you please let me talk to Phil
Harris I don't know nobody here by that
name
what does he do he's an orchestra leader
it says in his contract
oh here yes him tell him his boss wants
to talk to him okay hey Goldilocks kay
Kyser's under phone
hey Kaiser how do you like that right in
the middle of a game hold everything
hello Casey bill this is Jack c-cold
Jack Benny Oh hiya Jackson what's up
what's up we go on the air in 15 minutes
you're in a pool room why aren't you
here at the studio I can't be in two
places at the same time
if I could I'd be at the racetrack too
so they attend a business hanging around
pool hall you should be rehearsing your
orchestra now I feel you better have a
good band number for our opening program
don't worry about the music buff I've
got a brand new tune I've got a play
called that's what I like about the
north
the North yeah 5,000 arrangers in the
country and I had to hire a Yankee
well I'm glad you got something new now
I feel you know how nervous I am so get
over here will you sure Jax I'll be over
as soon as I finish this game all right
goodbye goodbye okay mom it's your shot
Rochester I gotta go across the stage to
miss Livingston's dressing room I'll see
you later daddy daddy daddy and Adam the
deme da da da da da da da
oho Gildersleeve hello jack come on
Leroy
on that Leroy I bet he's Gillis Lee's
father go mr. Benny
Wow are you nervous scared a little bit
but I'll be all right when I get into my
song sure you will oh by the way Larry I
forgot all about it
congratulations you got married didn't
you yes mr. Benny about two weeks ago
well I hope you'll be very happy where
did you meet the pillow I mean the girl
where did you meet the girl her mother
introduced this Oh her mother yeah I
wish you'd go home already I know how do
you feel go ahead and rehearse your song
here joy
[Music]
Oh
[Music]
or in both
[Music]
the
the whole
[Music]
[Applause]
that was fine I'm going down to miss
Livingston dressing room I'll see your
life before the show on congratulations
again on your marriage
Thanks you know kid I was kind of toying
with the idea of myself Larry do you
find the two can live as cheaply as one
what are you doing here I'm trying to
find out what time it is Oh I'll see you
later Larry young dumb down down being
the dumb I mean
[Music]
I'll talk to you any way I want my face
well yeah yeah
[Music]
that's a shame that happens every time
John sees his other wife
oh well see which is Mary's dressing
room
[Applause]
Oh Pauline Pauline yes miss living so
helped me slip into my dress mr. Benny
wants to come in mr. Benny yes is this
going to be on your program again this
year
fallene it isn't my program it's mr.
Benny's and mr. Benny is a star I just
work for him and he gave me a very nice
salary it's not as much as I pay you but
a very nice well if I were you miss
Livingston I quit now wait a minute
Pauline you don't understand as a matter
of fact when I first went to work for
mr. Benny I was 19 years old and he
promised me a raise just as soon as I
reached my 28th birthday your 28th
birthday
t-that you're reminding of it no the
raise wasn't worth admitting it Pauline
how does my dress look it looks alright
miss Livingston but if I were you I
braid a little shorter you have such
pretty late rain falling it's too bad
you only have two of them
what I mean is when they've got some
things are nice it's too bad you can't
have more of it well believe me Pauline
any girl who has nice legs is perfectly
satisfied with just two of them after
all who'd look at a girl with three legs
everybody
[Music]
Pauline hand me my makeup kit yeah yeah
thank you
oh look at that I must have got my coal
cream my nail polish in my eyeshadow we
want it look so nice for our first show
hello Mary well I'm all ready for the
show Julie you look nice
Thanks here's your cold cream your nail
polish in your eyes
Jack Benny the next time you want to
borrow those things ask for him I didn't
borrow when we changed restrooms you
forgot them anyway we'd better get on
the stage it's 8 minutes to 4:00
I've got eight minutes to three oh you
must be wrong now come on I'm nervous
anyway she's look where they got the
stage setup pretty nice haven't they
yeah I wonder if this microphone is
working the power low they've got it 1 2
3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 Jack you're talking
into the doorknob
[Music]
oh yeah I'm so nervous I always am on
the first show oh the first show has
nothing to do with that you're always
nervous I am NOT look what happened last
week when you read in the Pasadena paper
the world was coming to an end that
didn't bother me at all and why were you
wearing that asbestos suit
marry and walking around with that far
under your arm
I wasn't taking any chances sister now
don't embarrass me in front of the
orchestra I'll do it I'll do it I never
saw him here before who would that marry
who sweeps up around here
well why is he wearing those striped
pants in that silk hat maybe he's going
to call on MacArthur
[Music]
but his eyes don't forget Excel
Matan sweeping up now six minutes before
the show yeah to be a lot more to sweep
up after the show
nice off today kiddo there's not Wilson
over there rehearsing by himself but the
Lucky Strike program starring Don Wilson
with Mary Livingston Jack say the Lucky
Strike program starring Don Wilson oh no
I'd never get away with it oh hi Jack
hello Mary
what were you doing oh I was just
rehearsing the Lucky Strike program
starring Jack Benny with Barry
Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Larry
Stevens and yours truly Don whoa
that's swell down but you shouldn't
throw your name away like that you know
give yourself a build up there hold it
tell you the truth I just never thought
about a jack after all you're the boss
the start yes yes of course
Wow let's go raring to go with those
commercials they die are you but I am
Jack I just can't wait until it's time
for me to say LS m f LS MF t he o yes LS
MF t see Jack we've been off the air 17
weeks I guess I forgot that's all right
go ahead
LS MF t yes sir you bet
Lucky Strike means a Lucky Strike means
uh John what's happen lucky fry please
don what happened no no we do our show
in six minutes try it again
LS MFT Lucky Strike mean buying tobacco
fine tobacco's so round so firm so so
fully baked
no Jack it's fully pick no no it is not
it's fully packed
[Music]
that's it down that there who's that
funnel oh he sweeps up around here
take it again Lucky Strike means buying
tobacco so round so firm so full of
packs or free and easy on me raw more
you draw first I got you covered father
who's that some guy who's suing The Lone
Ranger
oh yes I wish they'd stay in their own
studios no freedom is beyond the drop
I've got it now Jack good but you better
rehearse it again you had me worried
there for a minute okay you can relax
Jackson the stuff is there
all right fell listen we've only got
five minutes now you better go over your
band number right now okay are y'all set
fellas all right let's go one two three
four our
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
tailhold and holder
fail fail what's wrong with you Jackson
grow you're playing Wayne King theme
song
he was our summary place well why didn't
he take the music off the stand
well your boys ought to know better than
to play anything they see in front of
them that's a most asinine thing I ever
Oh dad
he sweeps up around
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
I cannot fail that's enough that's
enough we're on the air in three minutes
they haven't let the audience in yet hey
where's our producer hey bow unbalanced
what is it jack did we go on the air in
three minutes the audience isn't in yet
well Jack you've got the wrong time it's
only three minutes to three are you sure
of course I'm sure I'm the producer
that's my job oh oh well I'm glad we got
that settled anyway if we have an hour
I'm going back to my dressing room see
you later kid wonder if two could live
as cheaply as now I don't think yeah but
maybe if one of them doesn't eat so much
no it wouldn't work I have a long time
we've got an hour yet oh you know
Rochester I'm really gonna have to be on
my toes this year so there's a great
line of our shows on Sunday there's
killer sleeve and following us as cats
daily then Edgar Bergen and Charlie
McCarthy you know boss Fred Alan's gonna
be without the Bergen today Fred Allen
is gonna be with Bergen yeah the matters
Charlie McCarthy stick
ah Aaron's gonna be a guest and that so
many starches all the program now
lenders don't pro how do you like that
Allen coming back on the air
you know Rochester's isn't that I
dislike that stinker personally but I
can't understand why people laugh at his
kind of jokes or the mystery to me why a
sponsor would give him a job it's hard
to understand in it hurt me is I can't
figure out why he's such a big success
can you Rochester no sir but then boss
maybe is just an hour behind SR agree
no no no that's not the case with me I
would give credit where I can command
yeah
my name is bradley d bradley i'm a press
agent so i'm just what the doctor
ordered for you what i'm gonna make
people know you know me what are you
talking about I'm on the radio everybody
knows me how that's just if they know
you on Sundays but what about Monday
Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday on
Saturday
what people do protect penny conscious
all the time not just on Sunday why what
would happen if it's planning Irishman's
mild only on Mondays with a sour quart
the rest of the week well and what a
dull gale Porsche would be if you only
faced life on Friday yes that's all very
true I know what's on your mind Benny
you're wondering if I Jack and Steve
have Bradley I'm the man who your
publicity you don't have to be nervous
something buried I'm the fellow who made
mad man loves Luigi's ever I'm the guy
who cut the minute drop down to 30
seconds and I'm the man who made Bo what
it is today
gosh you have done a lot of high-class
work
I don't think you can do anything for me
uh of course I can what does be Oh God
that you haven't got
yeah I'll make the world Benny conscious
I'll have your name on the lips of
everybody in America are there was much
for you as I did for Sammy Klingon field
Klingon feel that name is very familiar
but an Iron Man is familiar and only
because I made the world ping and Peele
conquers I know but right to years ago
Sammy Klingon feels just another all
faster leader but then I've got a great
idea if it looks a me lots the people
have gone over Niagara Falls in a barrel
but you're going over Niagara Falls in a
barrel filled with wet Shannon
oh yes I remember Wayman got killed
doing it didn't they go on but look at
the publicity you got
hmm I'll never forget the newspaper
space I got any funeral 40,000 people
attended and we never even found the
body
wonderful but really mr. Bradley I don't
think I mean I love Fenner you hire me
and I'll make you famous in every part
of the world in the big cities in the
little towns like Schenectady jolly at
selling the Cabaret lavake himself am
gonna wait a minute wait a minute
everybody in Waukegan knows me well how
do you like that I'm with you three
minutes in you're a celebrity already
[Music]
I do believe it's very hard to believe
well of mr. Bradley I've never had a
publicity man so I'll have to think it
over can I see after the show I
certainly you think it over in the
meantime I'll go out nor to the barrel
in this event
what a dynamic personality maybe he's
the kind of a guy I need how did he
impress you Rochester I don't know well
I think he's got something I'm gonna
talk to him right after the broadcast he
is 3 o'clock by my watch turn on the
radio Rochester let's see with Don okay
that concludes our regular Sunday
program of popular recordings the time
is now exactly five minutes after 5:00
Pacific Standard Time
can you imagine that five minutes after
5:00 the guys all mixed up to get
another face of Rochester Oh careful
Bergen you've got a frog in our throat
yes so we have you tell me Charlie do
you like it here in New York
oh yes Bergen I like it it's fall but
the little flowers always out
you're arriving with that jollywood copy
of it Charlie McCarthy that's why I
missed micrograms you sure laughs OH oh
my go to marry Phil where's my producer
hey ballon ballon this is awful one Mike
sponsored a baby license you think that
one person live company would know what
time it
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen having just
completed a USO tour through Germany I
feel I'm in a position to tell you how
much the boys overseas want and need
entertainment even though the war is one
and thousands of our boys are being
brought home and discharged thousands
more will have to remain as occupation
troops the USO is done and is still
doing a wonderful job of supplying that
entertainment but it is up to us to
provide the funds so they can carry on
this great work so please ladies and
gentlemen when you are asked to
contribute to the victory chest in your
community do it generously thank you
[Music]
yes no bullet casting company no there's
nothing wrong with your radio Justin he
wasn't on we welcome say Mabel I know
what you're thinking guy true yeah all
those people kill themselves
[Applause]
[Music]