and here is fred allen in person
thank you very much you noticed a great
difference when i take a bow harry
between my bow and the hollywood
comedian bow my hair doesn't come off
the nose
but uh thank you and good evening ladies
and gentlemen and thank you mr von zell
for that semi-derogatory introduction oh
well that well i was only kidding fred
you know having a little fun oh all you
announcers are always having a little
fun harry well i guess that's radio the
announcers have the fun and the
comedians have the worry oh no now wait
a minute fred you can't prove that i
can't hey now look harry did you ever
compare the announcers and the comedians
on the different radio programs did you
ever see don wilson
not all of them fred no
well that proves my point you can't see
all of don wilson in one look
he looks like the hollywood bowl with a
vest on it
yes don is pretty stoked stout wilson
has so many double chins harry he looks
as though he's peeking over a skin
venetian blind
[Laughter]
it's a good radio problem which came
first the egg of the commercial
on the other hand
on the other hand harry speaking about
comedians and announcers did you ever
take a look at the comedian on the don
wilson program that uh jake jake
something have you ever taken a gander
at him no fred what does that jello
comedian look like have you ever seen
one of those pictures send this boy to
camp
yes i've seen it well this uh this
fellow looks like the negative
yes it's the same on every program now
take the bob hope show bill goodwin is
the picture of health have you seen bob
hope lately what does bob look like hope
is starting to look like yahoody harry
oh wait a minute fred nobody's ever seen
your hoodie well that's it
hope looks like something nobody's ever
seen
and look at you
inviting comparison look at you
now you can't get much more of you in
that skin harry
all right i have picked up a little
weight yes harry harry if you stay in
the sun too long with that fat you won't
get burned you'll be rendered
hi gang
uh oh hello hi van something
[Music]
you mind if i use the mic a minute i've
got to audition for a movie producer uh
audition for a movie produ you mean some
company wants you for a picture pete i
don't think it's a company uh some man
named saul called me up so what pete he
just said saul harry saul
why that could be an offer from any
company
what takes your uh what picture does
saul want you for saul said it's a new
geronimo picture uh love finds andy
geronimo or something oh the new jerome
oh boy
the old one here huh go ahead
so you want to audition in india nothing
yes uh saul said he'd listen to it to
the indian audition well go ahead okay
thanks uh hello stahl stand by for my
indian characterization
oh
okay stall
i didn't think he could do it you played
just the way i thought it would
be
hard to get a nug to lay there it's so
small
ah it's in the bag harry well when do
you know now with this indian audition
over when do you know if you got the job
when do you hear from saul you see that
telephone allen yes in a minute that
telephone's going to ring and when the
telephone rings that's all brother
i get it
and while we wait for saul's call we
turn to the latest news of the week
ipanna news presents the world in review
[Music]
los angeles california
this week's graduation exercises are
held at the university of california and
many other colleges throughout the
country from coast to coast honor
students at leading universities are
acclaimed but what about the outstanding
morons of 1940
tonight ipanna news brings you a motley
group of dancers from little known
schools that adopt the hinterland now
first on our schlemiel parade
mr
balfour rug mr rugg you are a graduate
of uh crobley's chemical college
crovenies chemical college you were an
honor student were you yes i graduated
magna lauden
and i received my ba your ba in
chemistry yes bachelor of acid
that will account for those holes in
your vest you're messy with precipitates
i see well tell me what was your what
was your negative contribution to
chemical trivia mr rug i broke down the
chemical formula for sulfonylum oxide
well that must have been some job i was
in the lab 24 days a night you didn't
eat i was living on fumes
inhaling your nourishment were you yes
my nose gained four pounds
and how did you finally break down the
formula for sulfanilamoxide well first i
isolated the formula for sulfonyl h2so4p
yes and then i subtracted the formula
from oxide naclu and subtracting naclu
from h2so4p
gave you pu
remarkable you will go high in chemistry
circles mr ugg have you obtained a job
yet yes i'm starting to work tomorrow
you have found a niche in this busy
world where your vast store of chemical
knowledge will be called into play yes
i'm to be assistant chemist in full
charge of liquid anesthesia where at
maxi rosenblooms
at maxi rosenblooms well what will you
as an assistant chemist in full charge
of liquid anesthesia
do in a nightclub
i shall mix mickey pins you will really
well you may not win friends but you
will certainly influence people
thank you mr balfour
the student
the student who took the longest to
graduate from a correspondent school is
malachi kelp
now what cost
what course did you take malachi how to
play the saxophone and 20 easy lesson
and 20 to how fun
that's 40 easy lessons or just 20.
a single 20. well how long did it take
you to master the 20 lesson course 20
years
20 years why well i'm a lighthouse
keeper safe yeah and the supply boat
only stops at the lighthouse once the
year oh and that's why yes sir my after
my saxophone came i had to wait a year
for each lesson
it took me 20 years to finish the course
and now that you have completed this
course what can you play once all
fine and you are going to play uh you're
going to play it for us tonight malachi
yes sir it was just a minute i'd like to
wet my reed
it's okay well thank you very much uh
ladies and gentlemen you will now hear a
saxophone solo played by a man who has
studied his instrument alone in a
lighthouse for the past 20 years
all right all right malakai
[Music]
wait a minute wait a minute what is this
something wrong
yes they said this song isn't all there
you played four notes then you skipped
four now well yeah well that's that dang
white house is the lighthouse yeah the
light goes round and round it's light
one minute and dark from that
well i know but how does that uh well
you see every time i started the
practice i'd play four notes then the
light would swing around and i'd miss
four notes
then the light would come back and i'd
play four notes and the light would go
out and i i and i hope you will go out
now to keep the light company
a horrible experience yes it was
thank you malachi as a lighthouse
musician i know you will bring home the
beacon
and now
last and by all quiet please we've got
things to do here
now last and by all means least a young
lady who was outstanding in her class
miss bubbles rappaport
and your alma mater bubbles i am
graduating mrs roberto which is
finishing but positively
you are the moving spirit in the class
of 1940 bubbles socially i'm excelling
studying i'm surpassing you uh you
studied languages did you
nasty
nasty paw uh this is france oh i see
french i am speaking like a pheasant
i uh i sense the foul inflection as you
can
sick transcript gloria rooney well what
is that uh this is latin also a language
i don't get around much i wouldn't know
well latin i am talking like
were you at school you belong to all the
sororities of course of course sigma
kaplan
uh alpha alpha falsehood
and the bellfish melter
or something
something tells me that you were the
life of the graduation exercises bubbles
of course i am the bachelorette really
i am the well-educatorian
and personally i am reciting the class
poem enriched by a coincidence i am
writing personally well that is a
coincidence isn't it tell me what was
the title of your class poem bubbles
vashville still girls of 1940.
how does it go
boss bills to girls of 1940 as out into
the world you go
santos granted some to auckland some to
cleveland ohio
girls will you go into business
will you travel take a tour
will you find the monkey business
thinking of la mor fujor
[Music]
hospitals too girls of 1940
facing life don't play the fool
let our motto be eureka
finishing but positively stored
thank you now ladies and gentlemen the
merrymax raid the hit parade of 1890 and
sing for you their version of my bonnie
lies over the ocean
thank you tonight ladies and gentlemen
we are going to open what we believe to
be the first museum of the air so if you
all stand back please we'll officially
christen it by gently tapping uh tapping
this bottle of water on the cornerstone
the museum is now open and wet and here
we have the finest collection of
vanishing americans extant straight
ahead argue is low the poor india
you'll notice our vanishing americans
are all wired for sound now over here to
the left is the village blacksmith
and over there you see the man and woman
who don't know who don't know what priv
who don't know why they should take care
of their gums as well as their teeth
well because they certainly belong in
your museum thread because those
americans are vanishing rapidly because
thanks to the educational work that's
being done by dentists and modern school
teachers more and more people every day
are realizing the value and the
necessity of healthy gums to sound teeth
and we're mighty proud of the part i
found a toothpaste is playing in that
education
you see eye pattern is designed to do
more than just clean and brighten your
teeth
or when used with massage it stimulates
and helps strengthen your gums and
that's very important many modern
dentists say when our gums are tender
and soft our teeth are seldom bright and
sparkling and the creamy well-cooked
foods we eat nowadays do not give our
gums the exercise and stimulation they
need
thank you peter and all the cats have
just given you the readers digest
version of copenhagen and now ladies and
gentlemen our guest tonight hello
hello portland i didn't hear you come in
no my new shoes are pretty quiet they're
wedgies wedgies huh those are the new
shoes with the built-in fallen archers
aren't they the wedges yes the girls are
going round with bigger heels this
summer or so i see by the gossip columns
i
tell me what have you been doing since
you came to hollywood portland well mom
and i have been playing a new game
really what game well every night as
soon as the guest starts mom and i go
out and look up at the sky yeah and
there are always big white searchlights
going back and forth i see then mom and
i get in the board and drive like 60 to
where the lights are where does the game
come in every night the white lights are
someplace different it's a surprise oh i
see
one night it was earl carl's nightclub
opening yeah the next night it was a
theater opening then it was a fish
market closing
the lights
well that is quite a game yes and last
night mom and i thought you were lights
in the sky was that a charlie chan
opening the yellow lights
no it was a garage on
fire that broke the monopoly of all
those openings anyway tell me what do
you and your mother do with these
affairs oh we just do what everybody
else does and what is that we go oh and
ah and get pushed around by the police
yeah
and then then when the lights go out we
go home with the crowd you mean you go
to all of these openings and you never
go into the theaters or the nightclubs
does something else go on inside too oh
no no nothing only eight million dollar
productions bill never mind forget the
whole thing or any part of it at your
own discretion now what about our guest
tonight oh i didn't get his name that i
think it's that man over there oh are
you the the guest star mister
yes sir oh well we'll step right over
here brother
oh yes
yeah thank you may i uh may i ask your
name uh benny jack benny i see benny as
in uh benny goodman no benny has in many
happy returns of the day
[Music]
and your first name you say is jock
young man no no no not jock it's jack oh
jack as in what i'm not getting here
tonight
you uh uh are you a local boy uh mr
benny i mean do you live here do you oh
no no mr allen my home is in waukegan
illinois walken illinois very
interesting that's 35 miles from chicago
isn't it it's 36 and two-thirds to be
exact
well i've uh i've never walked from
waukegan to chicago i
i wouldn't know
i have and i do
what is your uh occupation mr benny uh
well uh uh a pardon me would you uh
would you mind stepping just a little
closer to the microphone
oh i'm so sorry i'm afraid i don't know
much about this radio game
well it's nothing to be nervous about
son
we uh we have the same trouble with
amateurs every week here
now tell me mr benny what is your
occupation
i'm a uh second violinist a second
second violinist with uh what orchestra
may i ask i was formally with the wall
keegan philharmonic mr allen
philharmonic yes sir you uh specialized
in chamber music did you
we had our own chairs we could play any
place
and uh made it more comfortable that way
really and you say you uh you say you
you say
you say you were the second violinist in
this versatile group yes sir uh uh just
a little closer to the microphone
excuse me i what seemed to get it uh
well you will in time it takes time
now tell me mr benny is there we want
your frank opinion you don't mind not at
all you speak frankly to us i really do
tell us is there a difference between
the first and second violinist oh yes
yes
you see the second violinist convoys the
first violinist through the score
and any notes the first violinist misses
in his pizzicatos
the second violinist played mighty
interesting
now as the second violinist in the war
keegan philharmonic were you kept pretty
busy will you oh yes yes you see our
first violinist only had one finger on
his left hand
uh he used to miss everything
after after he had given the violin part
the finger i would follow through
well are you still with the walking and
philharmonic mr bennett no uh after
playing chocolate soldier for 15 years i
felt i was getting in a sweet rut you
did
so i went into vaudeville
yeah
now you're standing too close to the
microphone
[Music]
sorry i just i just don't seem to get
the hang of it do i
you're slow to catch on i must say and
with it all you're so light on your feet
you're here one minute and there the
neck
now i'm kidding
i wish you wouldn't add lid mr allen i'm
on a vacation and i don't want to have
to think
how can you tell when you're on a
vacation shall we continue no no let's
not
i spoke to the man and kfog we can buy
15 minutes and go over there later
for the rest of the show
then heading back to
killing back to vaudeville mr benny did
you enjoy your career in vaudeville yes
it was fun until i had to leave ah you
had to leave
you had to leave
why i left the vaudeville mr allen
because a certain juggler killed it
you were no iron lung yourself
now tell us
where were you when po vaudeville died i
was in santa monica so i came east to
hollywood and went
into the picture
you went into the picture business now
in what branch of the motion picture
business did you engage ushering or
marquee tinkering or something of that
sort neither i started as an actor
defied the trends and i'm still an actor
today that is uh one man's opinion mr
bennett
uh two men i have an agent you know
a super salesman i wager
well tell me mr benny what sort of rules
do you play in pictures uh he-man i've
been typed
whoever typed you should have changed
the river
now tell me mr benny in which of your
pictures do you feel you reached your
peak if peak
well i would say in buck benny rides
again the way i handle my horse in that
chase sequence
they say the lone ranger fainted three
times at the preview
now there's one question i would like to
ask you about your cowboy rolls mr benny
i have nothing to hold back mr tell me
now when you are mounted on your horse
have you ever turned around looked down
and had the illusion that you were
looking into a mirror
[Music]
uh no mr allen i'd say the view was
about the same as the one i'm enjoying
right now
you're
you're still too close to the microphone
you uh you don't have to snap at it it's
not a lollipop you know
pardon me i have the same trouble in the
movies i'm always getting too close to
the camera yes you'll get in the
pictures i've seen you in there
now now before you go before you go tell
us have you any immediate plans for your
cinema future well i know i'm letting
the cat out of the bag but i'm going to
make a few pictures a new picture for
paramount oh another trailer a spring
airport spring trailer well bully for
you old man what is your new picture
going to be called all this and benny
too
a novel title something you coined
yourself on the lot
well tell me what other stars are going
to be in this picture with you mr benny
well there's mary martin lovely girl
mary but mary's a girl isn't there
another male star involved possibly phil
harris and rochester of course well
isn't that peculiar i heard a rumor that
a certain popular radio comedian a
handsome devil
is to be in this picture with you
isn't that portland huffa over there
never mind that who else is going to be
in that picture gosh he's pretty don't
eat around the bush benny is it or is it
not true that a dynamic radio comedian
is going to co-star with you in this new
paramount picture if you must know they
are are trying to palm off a certain
laos on me
[Music]
it says
protean artist in mind
aren't you
aren't you just a little bit afraid that
this dynamic radio personality
might steal your picture
this loss hasn't stolen anything but his
salary for 20 years
don't get me started alan i'll let you
so far down in those pants you'll think
you're wearing knickers
that's weird
oh yeah
if i
if i start throwing punches benny your
nose will go back and forth across your
face so fast
you'll think you're smelling a pendulum
now hold on
one move out of you alan i'll hit you on
the back of the head and butt your teeth
you're still a little too close to the
mic
oh darn it when will i ever learn i
often wonder well thank you a lot for
this little visit mr benny it's
certainly been nice getting the low down
on the lowest low life we've ever had on
our program
and i've certainly enjoyed this bit of
slumming too well good luck to me and
your new picture mr benny
thank you and good luck to me and yours
good night punk goodnight rat
thank you
and now ladies and gentlemen miss betty
jane rhodes who needs no introduction
really because betty jane was introduced
here last week but just in case you
weren't listening meet miss betty jane
rhodes who is here to sing all god's
children
[Music]
ladies and gentlemen i pan a toothpaste
will not make any woman the belle of the
ball overnight
i found a toothpaste will not get any
man of promotion the very next morning
after he first uses it no jennifer's in
the world will do that
but if you're looking for a toothpaste
that will make your teeth a lot cleaner
and brighter a toothpaste that will
leave your mouth clean and refreshed
this is mr and mrs average man's round
table where three persons selected from
our studio audience are invited to give
their opinions on a question that
concerns some prominent issue of the day
these little sessions are entirely
unrehearsed fred has taken his place i
believe at the round table just talking
about miss livingston really harry here
i didn't see you there mary i'd have
asked you to join our little board of
discussion here but since you're not
here we'll run the board short-handed as
it were
marvin
good evening good evening good evening
i'm sorry
portland if you will kindly open the
forum through uh introducing our first
uh guest yes mr dalio sabatello from
hollywood california well good evening
mr sabatello good evening mr allen is
this gentleman with you are you with me
oh you're taking care of mr sabatello so
nice of you to come with your secretary
mr sabatello
those agency men are all over
uh tell me uh uh are you in a business
here in in hollywood well uh i am the
assistant to the head of the foreign
department in the warner guanabara
studio oh for uh handling publicity
for far for pictures that are released
in foreign countries yes i see well uh
uh
is that business very thriving today is
that uh how do they do it with some of
those pictures now the money isn't good
uh outside of the the borders of the
country uh do they pay for their picture
rentals and commodities well not yet
it hasn't come to that yet we hope it
will never come today well now it would
be rather embarrassing if you were
working in that department and received
your salary and commodities wouldn't it
barter set in you should say so and you
went over to warner some saturday and
they gave you a due bill on the farmer's
market or
well thank you a lot mr sabatello and
now uh portland miss marjorie levy from
los angeles california well good evening
miss levy good evening mr allen uh are
you uh in pictures are you
no i'm not i go to school oh you go to
school here well it's so difficult to
tell in hollywood who is going to school
and who is in in pictures uh what school
you go to college do you yes i go to
ucla ucla university of california at
los angeles you graduate this year did
you no i just started i'm gonna be a
sophomore next year you're going to be a
sophomore next year well good uh tell me
what do you uh what are you studying in
college what do you hope to be when you
get out of college well i don't know i'm
not quite sure oh you're just going on
speculation
and see how it turns out
well aren't you studying any particular
thing while you're there well i take an
english major but i don't know how it's
going to turn out oh you take an english
major that they have english majors
there for the girl
well of course
that would tend to lead you towards a
course in journalism uh majoring in
english if you're going in the theater
you would major in bows nationally
i'm sorry i haven't time to plan your
career for you margery but i know you
don't mind do you
and now portland mr james roland from
shenandoah pennsylvania well from
shenandoah pennsylvania mr roland uh
your senator what are you doing here in
hollywood may i ask why i'm not here for
my health mr allen well you look
healthier than i do really
i'm out here and thinking of going
someplace else for my help
well that brings us to our question you
don't mind are you mr roland and tonight
we discuss i'm a little pressed for time
as i always am we discuss a condition
that has received considerable attention
in the newspapers in recent months many
authorities claim that the american home
is disintegrating and that the rise in
juvenile crime and delinquency is the
fault of parents who fail to center the
child's interest in the family and in
the home now next month in certain areas
here around los angeles the curfew law
is going into effect and all children
under 16 will be required by law to be
in their homes by 9 pm now our question
tonight is
do you think that the curfew law should
be made nationwide and children under 16
and every city be kept in their homes
after 9 00 p.m mr sabatello how do you
feel about it absolutely i agree mr
ellen you are in favor of the curfew law
are you yes why do you think that it
will make for better home life around
the country sure i think so keep
children home and and they're re uh
instill their interest in the home the
parents and the family heart is that in
yes
it it is you just don't want to have the
curfew blow just to hear the thing blow
no stuff well how do you feel about it
miss levy well i don't think that there
should be a curfew law over the united
states you don't
no because girls between 14 16 are just
beginning to go out i don't think it's
fair
wait a minute you are well you have
until nine o'clock according to the
curfew law we have here
now wouldn't you rather sit at home with
your family at night than to go out to a
moving picture and spend two or three
hours with the hardy family
wouldn't you no you would
well i would hate to be home when you
arrive home tonight marjorie
how do you feel about the curfew law mr
roland i approve you approve of the
curfew law well i'm afraid i have to uh
our committee stands and i'm firmly
convinced that since all of us are still
sitting here
where we were when we started we have
gotten no place at all tonight
personally i don't know whether a curfew
law would help or not i have enough
trouble with my own family and benny
without butting into other people's
business now after this curfew
discussion tonight i will be lucky if
some kid doesn't hit me over the head as
i'm going home later this evening on
this note of cranial trepidation our
forum is closed and thank you all a lot
for your kind help
thank you now ladies and gentlemen the
merrimack sing for you a number called
la paloma from the cigar of the same
name
now the mighty alan r players tonight
they present for you a dilemma of the
movie studios called the million-dollar
smile or the tooth will out play back
myself
attention all departments titanic
pictures mr allen leaving story
conference on way to see russia's
standby
attention all department's titanic
pictures mr allen leaving russia's own
way to water cooler to take aspirin
stand by attention all departments
titanic pictures mr allen can't find
dixie cup on way to office
ah good morning miss cass good morning
esther what became of the studio dixie
cup miscast it's on stage a one of the
dancing girls fainted dad what a studio
400 employees and one dixie cup
well you're said to cut down expenses
yes i did and one dixie cup for 400
people is plenty now i want that dixie
cup chained to the water cooler but
suppose an act of faith if an act of
faints he can be carried to the water
cooler we've got plenty of actors but
only one dixie cup
this economy wave is going too far too
far i haven't even started yet take a
memo all pictures in production must be
reduced i want my new epic hurricane
over hollywood cut down to breeze over
brentwood
call in call in grapes of wrath and
remake it with raisins
hi uh
normally reporting essay a czech bromley
have you worked out those sequel titles
bromley yes sir i've got them right here
fine now what is the sequel title for
that picture i take this woman you can
hover very good
the sequel for you can't take it with
you don't leave it here
20 mule team whoa
you've done a great job bromley thank
you sir i can find a sequel to anything
you know sir thanks well
well you can find the sequel to this job
bromley you're fired
thank you sir
what was that
you're fired bromley oh goodbye
well then bromley should get himself a
finish if he comes in again
well
that touched 28.50 off the payroll miss
cash all the receivers won't be
satisfied with that
at the receivers titanic isn't bankrupt
yet i have one picture in production
that will pull us through it's a
revolutionary idea really it's
sensational i have got a new
biographical slant miss cast now the
other companies who made pasteur al
graham bell lily russell and the others
waited until these people had passed
away now titanic is making a part of a
celebrity's life while the celebrity is
still living what's the name of your
picture young don amichi
[Music]
i am doing the first part of
donomiechi's life uh hot from his diary
i'll do the rest of donnamichi's life in
installment as he lives it according to
our contract who's starring in the
picture titanic's child sensation little
mickey fink the boy with the million
dollar smile oh he has a beautiful smile
oh mickey thinks smile is box office
adrenaline miscast
when mickey skins that china and young
donamici titanic ship will be in
if that's young dr kildare tell him to
leave a pint of blood
sorry to bother you well well uncle
felix my b director what's wrong i gotta
have six thousand extras right away to
finish my picture six thousand extras to
finish what picture that scenario i
found on your desk i'm making it it's
full of mob scenes mobsy yes in the
first scene there are 200 characters
named adams in the second scene 300
named brown in a state scene 1500 people
named colin 1500 people named cohen what
story is that i found it on your desk
let me see that scenario yeah
dad you idiot you've shot the first 30
pages of the hollywood telephone book
[Music]
gee it it it it looked like a great
story you'll pay for this you simpleton
you may be my uncle but you're fired yes
turn in your suede jacket and beret to
the front office
yeah chief
republic here i come
yeah blood may be thicker than water but
it isn't thicker than relatives i'll be
glad when young donamici is finished and
titanic's troubles are over you mean i'm
gonna start getting paid again the
minute young donna michi is in the can
we'll all be out of the bucket
while with that kid's million dollar
smile this picture will clean up this is
the store that is breaking my packaging
i am freaking go ahead and quit i am
tearing you him from
why aren't you two finishing young
donnamichi well von bramberg is
directing the king here is refusing to
act this grease ball is close up happy
don't get cocky mickey remember you're
only a child star i can loan you out as
an errand boy you know i'll get a longer
run as an iron boy and i'll get in your
pictures
you see that's how he is okay
like a scissors yeah never mind that
what is holding up our picture the young
donna what's holding up this doom cop is
holding up in the verb and seen what
happens he is not smiling he is not
smiling
why that million-dollar smile is your
trademark mickey why without your smile
young donnamichi is ruined i know if hey
i'm doing the best i can
i am directing him to smile he is making
with the mouth we are an oboe player
like that
you have got to smile now if you watch
it bon if you don't
if you don't finish this picture mickey
titanic is ruined but i can't smile if
hey you can't smile why has your mother
told you your salary son
no it's not money well then come mickey
let's see you smile skin those lovely
fangs my
senility is setting in
how many teeth have you got left mickey
only one look one two
better your gums look like an elk
wearing a red vest
[Music]
you're telling me and this one tooth is
only hanging by a thread this is a
bicuspid calamity boys how much of young
donomica you shot one seen more only on
the picture we've got to make this final
scene instantly von what a business the
future of a picture studio hanging by a
2.
don't speak don't even breathe junior
what stage are you working on
stage b well come on mickey let's go
hold the lips together
hello and quiet everybody we've got to
shoot this final scene with little
mickey fink right away on the set cash
is out okay
okay what the what is this fade out
scene von burnberg well young donamici
is leaving his hillbilly home to become
an actor his father owned mother object
but done vigils for his talk on danny
goes as we are fading out junior turns
to the camera gives out with that
million dollar smile and walks over the
hills towards hollywood sure fire let's
go okay everybody
i'm going to hollywood papi i'm going to
be a movie actor you mean one of them
dudes with shoes you bet no you're going
to hear from donna mickey first thing
i'm getting is a swimming pool swimming
pool that's done it son you ain't mad
paul earn nothing i'm mad anybody who's
that crazy about water ain't no son of
mine you can get i'm getting so long ma
don't forget your dog son that's wife
where's samson i'm dog come dancing
[Music]
yeah this is terrible the million-dollar
smile is ruined young donamicia fiasco
titanic is some only two more lines in
the picture would have been finished
just a minute how long will it take your
stand-in teeth to grow in mickey
i can't hold up young donamici for six
months why wait what
wait a minute dad i've got it what the
false teeth fourth teeth repeat
yes paul steve with false teeth mickey
your million-dollar smile will be saved
but i can't wear false teeth my gums
before only for two minutes then the
picture is finished yes mickey you've
got to come through what do you say son
sure i'll be smart
but where
[Music]
the truth of something yeah
a little bit
oh wonderful look at that smile i can't
close my mouth
[Music]
who will know now you can smile that
million dollar smile we are finishing
the picture fa but how did you think of
it what strategy strategy will always
save the situation let's go boys
ladies and gentlemen before our preview
of the air force get your book of the
broadcast you'll never know what the
show has been about without this book
hey our vote ladies and gentlemen before
all fred allen's jokes explained with
maps and blueprints get your copy now
don't say oh now just a minute my friend
if i may call you that is that
incendiary literature dedicated
exclusively to me oh no mr allen this
book covers the entire show explains
everything one chapter called what's
wrong with the theater is dedicated to
the mighty allen odd players
everything's explained well tell me
what's the low down on harry fonzell we
didn't include him in the book mr allen
because everything he says is pretty
concise and to the point you know when
he says you ought to take salvation if
you start the day off all wrong that
makes sense well thank you my unknown
friend and the reason it makes sense is
because so many physicians recommend
salafatica and because this famous
sparkling saline gives you a faster
comeback
in the first place as a laxative sal
hepatica is quick acting yet very gentle
in the second place somehow hepatic also
helps counteract excess gastric acidity
which chases that sickish feeling fast
so ladies and gentlemen get a bottle of
sal hepatica from your druggist and
simply put two teaspoonfuls in a glass
of water and drink it
see how soon a sluggish underpar feeling
gives way to a brighter more normal one
when you take gentle quick acting south
hepatica
[Music]
thank you we're not a little late ladies
and gentlemen we're a lot late so thank
you and good night good night
this is the national broadcasting
company