the jello program starring Jack Benny
with Mary Livingston Phil Harris Dennis
day and yours truly Don Wilson the
orchestra is a program with pinch me
[Music]
you know what secretive planner your
success will be ladies and gentlemen is
to finish with a flourish with a really
swell dessert in fact that's one reason
so many people like jello because it
always winds up the meal in grand style
with a burst of color and a touch of
rich lingering flavor take cherry jello
for example nothing makes a prettier
picture than a shimmering bright red
mold of cherry jello but golden sliced
peaches glowing in its depths and what a
tangy refreshing flavor as temping is
the real ripe fruit itself a solid
satisfying goodness that you want to
enjoy again and again no doubt about it
a dessert like that certainly adds the
final crowning glory to any meal so when
you plan dinner tomorrow plan to finish
with a flourish with jello in any of
jello six delicious flavors or they just
be sure of getting genuine jello when
you buy look for the big red letters on
the box they spell jello and jello
spells the treat
[Applause]
[Music]
that was pinch be played by the
orchestra and now ladies and gentlemen
Oh Don Don did Phil get here yet not yet
Jack and now ladies and gentlemen this
be our first program of the new year we
bring you that holdover from 1939 Jack
buddy
[Applause]
hello again this is Jack Benny talking
and Don I didn't mean to interrupt you
before but I'm a little anxious for Phil
to get here he is not in the hall is he
no Jack what's the trouble
oh no problem Don that is I hope not you
see I made a wager with Phil on the Rose
Bowl game last Monday and he lost he'll
be so mad he'll go nuts
oh so you bet a couple of bucks on
Southern California huh
couple of bucks nothing I bet $50 on SC
fifty smackers uh pardon me I must be in
the wrong studio Mary come back down
nothing wrong with my risking $50 of
course I had a hunch that I'd win you
didn't have a hunch you had a vision I
have nothing of the kind anyway Don just
wait'll Phil gets here I doubt if he
even shows up oh he'll show up jack
well don't start a rhythm or anything
because I'll have a tough enough time
collecting as it is oh hello Dennis
hello mr. Benny did you enjoy the Rose
Bowl game last Monday I certainly did
I didn't see you Dennis where were you I
was selling hotdogs you owe me 30 cents
oh well that you yeah I saw you at the
game Jack you were sitting in the
Southern California routing section me
you should have seen him Don he was
wearing a raccoon coat a beanie and
waving a pennant with Laguna Beach on
him
that wasn't me Mary that was Basile
Rathbone I happen to be sitting behind
the gold poles way up in the 75th roll
up in the 75th roll did you enjoy the
game jack oh it was all right till the
last quarter what happened then my radio
broke and the clouds roll what a seat I
had I was on the fog so long I came down
with an English accent oh well I'll know
better next year did you have any bets
on the game mr. Benny just won but I
anticipate a bit of trouble collecting
you know Dennis I bet $50 with Phil
Harris and wait you see when he has to
pay up oh boy what a bum sport you know
he's that kind of a fight jack here he
comes now
oh yeah watch me Lidl him hello gambler
how's the old Tennessee fan today
I'm fine Jackson and here's your 50
bucks you deserve it kid you sure can
pick them
oh boy is he burned up you know jack I
looked for you right after the game I
wanted to pay you then oh sure sure I
bet you did I can just see you here
Jackson well aren't you gonna take the
money it's all yours kid oh boy what a
sore loser see what I told you fellas
what's going on here if you don't want
it I'll put the dough back in my pocket
you see backing out I thought so what
are you talking about I lost the bet and
I want to pay off here's your $50 I
won't take it
why not because you're a welcher and you
can't fool me
that's why Jack you mean to say that
you're not going to take the money
Phil's offering you no I'm not Wow
that's gonna knock the war right off the
front page
listen Mary I wouldn't accept a dime
from a guy that takes the attitude he
does what Jack are you crazy the man
offered you the money four times but he
could do it like a gentleman he doesn't
have to come in here and throw it on the
floor who threw it on the floor it's
right here in my hand you can't Bluff me
Harris go ahead and sing Dennis I'll
collect from that guy have to attach a
salary I've met small-timers before but
gee mr. Benny I saw mr. Harris offer you
the money he wants you to take it sure
he wants me to take him you know why
don't you why because when I bend over
to put it in my shoe he'll kick me I'm
wise I know all the tricks sing Dennis
it's about time somebody expose that guy
[Applause]
[Music]
laughs my team and my dream of you yeah
will the wind and Murray
you're
their infamous how you swipe when we
kissed
will the wind and the rain
rainwater song the wind was a voice for
me
[Music]
last night we met and my dream of you
yet with a wind and the rain
I held you tight as you wish my good
night will the wind and
in your
my favorite
[Music]
they're in bumpy's are you aside when we
kissed will the wind and the rain
with the wind
in your
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
that was with the wind and rain in her
hair sung by Dennis day and accompanied
by a deadbeat and his orchestra and now
ladies and gentlemen what do you mean
said Pete here's your $50 take it don't
rush me I'll get in my own way and our
folks if we can get back to the spirit
of our program tonight the Benny tear
and drama jerker's will offer their
version of Frank Lloyd great production
at maritime epic rulers of the sea now I
will play the put Jack last week you
made a big announcement that we were
going to do golden boy tonight well we
were going to do golden boy Don but I've
decided to let it go for a while
and I know why Mary that's not the
reason anyway why the sudden switch Don
please now I will play the come on Harry
tell us Mary why doesn't Jack want to do
Golden Boy well Mary here's what
happened Oh a week ago Saturday night
Jack called me up and asked me if I'd
like to go over to the Wiltshire Bowl
for dinner
Gladys had to work she did not anyway we
got to the bowl about nine o'clock and
had a table way in the back Rafael
couldn't see us and just as we were
finishing dinner I said to Jack
you like the poot Mary yeah she it's
crowded in here isn't it
it sure is hey waiter bring me another
cup of coffee please I don't know about
that mr. Benny
go get it yes gee whiz Jack just across
the second cup of coffee it's free you
don't have to have five of them Mary at
all averages up how many people even
take the second cup cigars cigarettes
and novelty cigarettes Oh girlie give me
a cigar will you please yes sir what
kind a couple of those Santa Fe
Biltmore's
by the way what's that you got on your
tray there tied up in that pink ribbon
that's a lock of mr. Harris's hair $0.50
well I don't wanna you better take it
this is the last one lesson we don't
share him again for a month no thanks
just the same
can you imagine that Mary is that filled
corny cigars cigarettes corn get in the
mood folks
selling a lot selling locks of his hair
now isn't that awful
say I wonder what time the floor show
goes on oh look there's more awareness
Phills announcer he's getting ready to
introduce Phil oh yeah
[Music]
good evening ladies and gentlemen
welcome to the Wilshire Bowl and our
folks it gives me great pleasure to
introduce to you our master of
ceremonies and comedian oh boy
that maidens dream on the beam Phil
Harris
[Applause]
how does he rate a reception like that
well sales very popular thank you thank
you thank you jello again this is
smiling Phil Harris talking jello again
he got that for me you remember me folks
your favorite entertainer and the star
of that paramount picture man about Tom
hmm you got that from Rochester quiet I
want to hear this great comedian hey
Phil yes Mort where'd you get that black
eye that's a birthmark a birthmark yes I
teach them the wrong birth Oh
and they're laughing yet hey Phil I
heard you were in the hospital last week
yes I was more pretty sick and oh pretty
nurse yeah
hey waiter bring me another cup of
coffee I'm gonna get even somehow I'll
have one with you pull up a chair
[Music]
Mary Mary I can't understand I can't
understand why people laugh at Phil his
jokes are all and why are you writing
them down I'm practicing my shorthand
that's why and now folks we'll be back
in a little while with some sizzling
dance music see you later yeah
well thank Heaven say Mary let's pay the
check and get out of here okay I'll
match you this time
no tonight it's my treat
come on let's go all right Oh Jack look
isn't that Barbara Stanwyck sitting over
there where right over there at that
ringside table oh yeah she's with
another couple
I wonder where Bob Taylor is I don't
know I'm going over and say hello the
word do you know Barbara Stanwyck of
course I know her and say Mary I've got
a great idea
as long as we're gonna do Golden Boy
next Sunday wouldn't it be marvelous if
I could get Barbara to play her original
role it's your one I'm going right over
and fix it see in a minute you know fire
it's a shame Bob had to work at the
studio tonight it certainly is Bob well
he's finishing a picture and they're
working overtime
you know Lillian I was telling Bob only
this morning that he well well hello
Barbara hello as I was saying Lillian I
told Bob only this morning how are you
Barbara I'm fine thank you how it sure a
surprise running into you here at the
Wilshire Bowl where's Bob he's busy at
the studio I expect him later
oh are you working here no no no I just
dropped in for a cup of coffee are these
folks relatives of yours oh pardon me
I'm sorry Mitchell mrs. Kendal this is
Ben Bernie
Oh Jack Bernie hi Benny how do you do
how do you do you know mr. Benny I
always listen to your program is Miss
Livingston with you this evening
yes mrs. Kendall she's sitting right
over there with the waiter well Barbara
it's sure a surprise seeing you here yes
sir
yep where's Bob tonight I told you he
was at the studio oh oh that's right
busy busy busy yeah yes busy busy busy
well it's sure a surprise yes sir oh
look the orchestras about to start a
number would you like to dance Barbara
well I'm awfully tired can't you dance
by yourself no I'd look funny
come on alright folks grab your partners
we're gonna play a little number
entitled the Sun shines bright on my old
Kentucky home which is more than it can
do out here
oh brother come on Barbara let's dance
come on all right
wait'll I get my shoe on oh yeah
[Music]
why Barbara you dance divinely thank you
mature you're going a little fast aren't
you just hang on Pappy
I hear priceless
[Music]
see is this in this swell Barbara I I
just love dancing do you always talk
like this no no I'm just a little
excited you know when I was a kid back
in Waukegan
I used to move my trips sorry Barbara oh
that's all right
somebody must have shoved me yes it's so
crowded here but you know as I was
saying Barbara when I was a kid walking
I used to do I tripped again yeah
I don't know what's the matter with me
tonight I'm generally very graceful in
fact I got medals for dancing well take
them off they're tearing my dress well
you have a marvelous marvelous sense of
humor say Barbara look at the way that
guy leads an orchestra how he loves to
show off I like his style very much
hello Phil well well Barbara how are you
Babs
I'm fine thank you oh by the way Phil
this is Jack Benny ha your door
[Music]
you work for me how do you do yet
see you later corny I call him corny
what does he call you he wouldn't dare
come on bar I've got something very
important I want to ask you
let's dance some more one two
[Music]
so you see Barbara that would be a
terrific novelty what do you say well
I'd love to help you out jack but do you
think it would go over why of course
it'll go over just imagine you playing
your original role in Golden Boy on my
program with me playing opposite you
doesn't that intrigue you doesn't that
do something to you doesn't that thrill
you keep mentioning things
good then it's a deal now let's see
when can we rehearse now wait a minute
how about rehearsing Tuesday afternoon
at my house oh oh all right then it's a
date my house three o'clock Tuesday
I must tell Mary oh there she is dancing
with the waiter Oh Mary
[Music]
well anyway Don Jack made a date with
Barbara for Tuesday afternoon at his
house did she show up sure she did well
then why isn't Jack doing golden-boy
tonight wait'll I tell you what happened
Mary forget it I got over to Jack's
house about a quart or three and you
should have seen him he was so excited
all he kept saying was Rochester have
you fixed the sandwiches have you done
Rochester have you fixed the sandwiches
yes boss here we are hmm what's enna
this is some of that turkey from
Thanksgiving which we also served on
Christmas oh that bird had a longer roam
into battle Road
well I don't want to serve that to miss
Stanley my goodness have we got any
peanut butter or something yes it will
make some of those and Rochester when
miss Stanwyck arrives to bring her right
here into the library okay boy
and oh yes take that copy of Shakespeare
down from the shelf dust it off open it
to Hamlet and put it on the table it'll
make an impression
see I I hope I look all right what do
you think of my new suit Rochester
oh the coats beautiful balls but don't
you think you ought to put your pants on
Oh get him quick yeah but don't come in
for a minute Mary I'm waiting for
something here's your pass boss Thanks
say that's a mighty good-looking outfit
I'm glad you like it you ought to buy
more brown suits mr. berry they flatter
both of us
Rochester don't you dare put this on
until it starts to shine Mary you can
come in now
what what's going on Jack my pants now
Mary just for today I want you to do me
a favor please lay off the wisecracks
will ya
okay but say Jack you ought to take that
sign down from in front of your house it
looks awful
what sign the one that says today in
person Barbara Stanwyck what Rochester
did that Rochester you take that sign
down right from the front of the house
shall I take down the bleachers too
yeah now Mary when I'm rehearsing with
Miss Tammy today you can help me out by
commenting on how good I am
what should I do well when I finish a
very dramatic line you yell out Bravo
Nordahl impress Barbara Bravo
what does that mean never mind what at
me just say Bravo why can't I tape you
don't you dare now I want everything to
be that must be her now answer the
Rochester
I mean answered the door Rochester okay
Oh jack control yourself I'm alright
where's my cigar in your ear oh yeah now
remember Mary good evening may I take
your coat thank you
Barbara come right in butnot this is a
surprise surprise yes I mean that is
welcome home I mean make yourself at
home
I mean you mean hello that's it oh by
the way Barbara this is Mary Livingston
how do you do miss Livingston I knew Bob
Taylor before you did
Mary don't don't mind her Barbara she's
always like that I know she used to tell
me hos that's a may company
that's a good one serve you're right
well let's get on with the rehearsal did
you bring the script with you Barbara
yes and as the play is very long I've
selected one scene which I think would
be ideal for both of us
oh you mean it's equally important yes
it's the scene where lorna pleads with
joe to give up fighting and go back to
his violin I see and and I'm Joe unless
you'd rather be Lorna oh no no no Joe is
all right I'm Joe hello Joe what do you
know I just got back Mary well Barbara I
think we better get going with our
rehearsal all right now here's your pot
it's on page 93 hmm oh yes well what a
beautiful copy of Shakespeare you have
here are you fond of his place oh yes I
often a while away an hour or so
perusing Hamlet Macbeth as you like it
The Tempest Bravo
not yet
oh yes yes I'm quite fond of Shakespeare
well that's that should I put it back on
the shelf now
nevermind Rochester bring in some tea
and sandwiches yes sir
now all right Barbara I'm ready to
rehearse let's take it from the top of
the page here the scene where I'm trying
to get you out of the fight racket you
have the first line oh yes mm-hmm Joe
I'm going Lorna don't read Joe just read
the line oh yeah yeah hmm excuse me I'm
going Lorna
don't go Joe you must listen to me when
I first saw you I didn't care what you
did I thought you were just a fighter I
didn't love you then I didn't care
whether you lived or died - what
happened to you
I didn't care if I ever saw you again
I'm going Lorna no Joe you must listen
to me
I love you now you're part of me why do
you become a fighter taught me something
I've seen you get hard-shelled and tough
or you shouldn't be in the ring Joe it's
not for you you belong in your home and
your home with your violins I'm going I
know why you're doing this you're bitter
and callous and hard-boiled I'm open Joe
don't you remember that night you spoke
of music and what it meant you how you
loved your violin you knew what was
right then how people should live oh
don't give up fighting please please I'm
going Lorne
Jack read that right that's I'm going
Lorna well I'm tired of saying it the
same way he gets monotonous fine part
but you've got a very dramatic speech
coming up it's the next line oh yes I
didn't see it
go ahead bother what do you say Joe will
you give up fighting Oh Joe you don't
need the money
it isn't the money I got plenty Bravo
and how Mary I'm sorry Barbara I'll take
it again it isn't the money I got plenty
Oh Joe so you must give up fighting
watch this Mary give up fighting while
you were the girl that like champions
you were this Oh Joe don't try to get
even with me well I made up my mind to
win the lightweight prom but you're hot
yes they grow you know that I can't play
anymore I got the hands of a fighter
they've been sold from Brian for a year
and there's hard-as-nails
they're good for only one thing now
slugging slugging my way to the title
I tell you Lorna if I oh wait a minute
Jack wait a minute
oh why what's the matter you're supposed
to be a fighter not little Eva wait a
minute Barbara I put a lot into that
speech I felt apart and was very
emotional
I wasn't carried away you keep out of it
and go get the tea
he's right Jack your performance
wouldn't convince anybody now Barbara
aren't you getting a little bit hasty
yeah I might not be as good an actor as
your husband but gee whiz we can't all
be tailors your father was
quiet now give me a chance Barbara oh
I've never read this before let's go
back to my last line Oh
all right I'll try it once more my hands
are good for only one thing now slugging
slugging my way to the time no no Joe
you must give up fighting you can't talk
me out of it Lorna I'm going oh don't go
don't go Joe please don't go take me in
your arms kiss me my darling
[Applause]
how how how was that Lorna Oh Joe Joe
you must give up kissing that's not in
the script
anyhow I can kiss better than that I was
a little nervous it's no use you're a
nice fellow but you're a comedian we'd
only make fools of ourselves if we tried
to do this on your program but Barbara
it's only Tuesday we got plenty of time
to rehearse no no believe me Jack
rehearsing won't help any but Barbara if
you'd only tea and sandwiches folks tea
and sandwiches tipping is on American
raka will you will you have a cup of tea
Barbara no thanks jack I'll just run
along he's not that bad you can least
walk married
no kidding Barbara have a cup of tea in
love we'll rehearse some more No thank
you some other time yes well well that's
the way you feel about it thanks just
the same you're welcome
goodbye Mary goodbye so long jack so
long oh by the way Jack you're not the
kind that kisses and tells are you oh no
no nothing
oh no you can trust me all right then
goodbye
[Music]
well there she goes I'm going to goodbye
punchy I can't understand why I didn't
play that scene right I know I can do it
Rochester read Miss Stanley's part will
ya I want to try it again start right
here will ya okay no Joe you must listen
to me I made a mistake I love you Joe
you're a part of me I can't play my
violin anymore Lorna I got the hands of
a fighter
they've been soaked in brine for a year
they're hard as nails they're good only
for one thing now so there you are gone
that's the reason we're not going to do
Golden Boy tonight
well that's a shame it would have been a
great show don't worry Don I've been
soaking my hands and Brian all week I'll
get her yet playful one thing Joe has
always been famous for ladies and
gentlemen is the wide variety of ways
that it can be served in desserts
salads and many other Grand gelatin
treats but did you know that you can
also use jello to make the finest fruit
or vegetable relishes you ever tasted
for example jello cranberry rallies
bright crimson cranberries gleaming in a
golden mold of clear lemon jello and
marvelously easy to make all you do is
first dissolve one package of lemon
jello and 1/3 cup of sugar in one pint
of hot water chill until slightly
thickened and fold in two teaspoons of
horseradish and two cups of rock
cranberries which have been put through
the food chopper then mold and you have
a delicious relish a spritely
combination of delicate lemon jello and
the spicy tartness of juicy ripe red
cranberries served with roaster cold
meat it blends the tasty tingles