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well ladies and gentlemen listen the
start of a full season for children we
are going to dedicate tonight's program
to the kids future presidents of this
time for 10:30 p.m. is rather late the
broadcast of the children only
Mississippi when I was a kid eight years
old I never got the bed until 7 p.m.
yeah I was always a sucker for those
nights toast you know we lived on a farm
you know and look at the time I throw
the bed with the chickens and the
roosters well didn't they mind no about
midnight a rooster would look over at me
and say just another egg you know well
Jack I think it's a swell idea
putting on a program for the school's
over I think so Donnie you know things
back to the days when we were kids
remember your school days I'm sure do
well I was a bright pupil to Jack I was
first in reading writing and sex appeal
first in sex appeal yes and do you know
who was in my class so Clark Gable well
you're not in his class now that
you know I was pretty good in school
myself me I was first mathematic
geography and hooky done when you went
to school did you ever play hooky no
just basketball and tennis well lookey
isn't quite as strenuous but I'm sure
you would have liked it you know Don I
played hooky for four years and never
saw the inside of the tool all those
kitties yep and when my father wanted me
to go to West Point and I hated to stay
away from there too so I didn't go weed
you know I think purple Jackie you were
on the wrong path why do you know that
Abraham Lincoln thought nothing of
walking ten miles to school every
morning well I don't think so much of it
myself but not only that but but he used
to spend hours reading books alongside
of a dim oil lamp well I do that too but
where can you get a lamp nowadays you
know mary had a little lamb it's oh oh
I'm glad you got here early we're doing
a kitty program tonight why didn't you
tell me I would have had my hair curls
you look all right you know Mary we were
just talking about the days when we were
kids you know school and everything
remember your school days do i I was
some kid to the keep they gave me some
of the best marks in our class I don't
believe it
well they're all healed up now oh I
thought
what the public school did you go to
Mary faster
Vassar that's a college you don't go
there until you graduate public schools
you see public school prepares you for
Vassar I know jack but I was so dumb I
had to go to Vassar to prepare myself
for public school I started to learn
medicine I wanted to be a doctor oh
that's marvelous Mary why did you quit
how would i look with a silk hat and a
beard alright alright I don't blame you
so then I took up telephone surgery
telephone surgery what's that I learned
to operate on a switchboard get out of
here get out scab yes
well here I am what of it Oh Sajak by
the way I saw a preview of that picture
you made transatlantic merry-go-round oh
did you how is it bird watch swell I
mean how am I in it well Jack you know
after all rome wasn't built in a day I
should never have asked that Wilson
Wilson this is berth wheeler berth this
is John Wilson our announcer hello Don
wheelers did you say yes Bert wheeler a
wheeler and Woolsey
I don't care where is from every wheeler
should have the general tire because it
has the non-skid corkscrew grip and it's
blowout proof the same Lane may Jack no
no no the tire alright they play John
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I was on vesser and his boys playing Don
zone composition contended and now for
the children's entertainment those of
you who listened last week will remember
we had a school-based program but after
the first day we fired all of the pupils
and hired new ones for this week we
thought our Sulak was alright but here's
the criticism we received from a
professor at Katharine Cornell
University he says listen to Jack
Benny's Ariel school days and although
he had lots of pupils he had no class
the the plot was Pro saved
what's prosaic marry a town in New
Jersey oh that's right prosaic New
Jersey that's near Paterson ISM well
anyway tonight ladies and gentlemen we
have a lot of new pupils and we will
start our school act immediately
janitor open that schoolhouse ring that
Bell lift that bar post that Bale plate
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I will now call the roll
Frankie Parker jr. Here I am teacher I
am right here Don bastard jr.
a little horse this morning god Walter
Winchell jr. gettin taught me a saying
without fear of contradiction that I'm
here that's something I never knew it
allow Mary Livingston oh I'm here I
never met the program yes we're right
here with Bert wheeler
Dorothy Lee didn't tell us mmm do you
want to play school Bert yeah jack
anything to kill the evening all right
all right bird wheeler Jr's absent we're
not serving anything
Eddie Canada Eddie Canada jr. I'm right
here teach you but my father's from
Hollywood making a picture Freddy Allen
jr. funny thing happened to me teacher
on my way to school this morning I'll
tell you about it you steam the woman
got on the bus ever mind are you here
are you here or not now
that's all I wanted to know Don Wilson
jr. General Tire easier Rudy Vallee jr.
Ohio everybody little rhodius Harrigan
Harpo Marx jr.
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doop Nagle and Bob jr. I'm here teach
are you there but I'm here we're sort of
active oh well I guess everybody's here
before we begin our lessons for the day
we will have our usual morning exercises
stand up still run now throw out your
chest
heads up hands on hit now pull out your
bottles and put them on teacher's desk
until after school exercise is over now
for the first lesson today we will take
up radio turn to page three broadcasting
Frankie Parker jr. do you know your
radio songs yes teacher let's have it
in effect for timbre okay
and look at the whole world in the face
for the olds not any man weekend without
from Warren tonight you can hear his
cello is low with my future tonight on I
won't be here tomorrow
if we keep you at home your father
mother's Norma Klein catalog you can
hear him swing with heavy tread width
measured beaten smells like a second
ringing the village belle when the
Evening Sun is low the nice feature
tonight Johnny wood thanks very much for
this invitation
you're welcome I went to the boys will
whooping it up under a spreading Center
tree when in walks a girl whose name was
Louie
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so the Lionel broadcasting from eleven
o'clock eastern daylight savings are EF
New York