[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
infinite everybody please quiet
everybody that isn't asking too much our
friendly here in exactly 55 minutes
well everybody please try and be late
paint it it's a big lamp when you get in
the depot and find a train Gogh
[Music]
okay do you want to go that funny little
chop go enjoy now it's down there Bob
mm incline the yard another your pole if
I get ptomaine poisoning all right let
me go over there in ten minutes okay
Oh Peggy honey hurry up let's go and get
a bite to eat
collies found a great Chop Suey join it
all right so I'll see you there nothing
can stop me
keen I'm awfully sorry Polly hey those
lovely flower
[Music]
that's the reason you'll always be a
wardrobe mistress and have nothing have
nothing hey say I once had a chance to
get up oh please you have this thing
washed to give us the shrinks all about
I'd be able to wear it for a muffler
well if you did just still be facing an
army and I want you to know that if I
ever speak another word to her I hope
I'll get a triple chin did you hear that
[Laughter]
I am NOT I'm talking to myself
goodbye hey excuse me
the man who don't know his own strength
do this for you
breathing NASA muscle you ready will you
check up on this property banana yeah
Holly will you pack the rest of my
things I've got a hurry over to the
hotel oh I wonder what Terry would do
without you way to get you to do this
chore you think you were his wife no
Eddie
Terry just like a big kid to me five
years see I didn't know that and if you
could see some of the dumps we've played
boy and we comfortable at cuz I never
take him seriously
well I guess you know better than I do
here it is mr. walk come be terribly hot
to be careful Akali wanna put a saucer
of coffee with me
no thanks I'm spittin a saucer Chop Suey
with Carrie
well wait a my partner buddy you're up
here hopper let me say up and down this
along I begin to look like a monkey
smart guy you're only in the compartment
Carleen you I want you to know I've lost
30 pounds
where
and this time I'm gonna sleep in the
effort to the sheriff bail out on me I'd
be flatter than a phonograph record I'll
say they where's Terry did you lose him
in that Chop Suey joint oh I guess he
couldn't find the place you maybe wind
up in some chick laundry looking for me
you don't miss the favor get on the
train what that's what he says hey Terry
I'd like to have me back the train over
there and get you what what do you mean
you won't be on the train if Peggy
doesn't show up before we pull out I'm
staying here I know what happened that
little barber from Kansas City is
showing up again hey why don't you give
that Dame the air before she add you're
drinking out of a saucer hey why do you
little girl around the country coming up
full of lies and promises and forcing
your rotten jewelry on earth well I
didn't realize I was included well you
are and if you don't stop annoying how
you'll have to answer to me just who
appointed you my guardian why don't you
to say that acting for your public come
on now listen Peggy you can't leave this
show without a two weeks notice oh no
see mr. Frey my guardian he seems to be
handling my affairs for long fiber now
little Peggy you're gonna have a lot of
trouble if out of this
hey come back well I hope you're
satisfied you haven't made it very tough
for me now I've got a wire the Home
Office and get a new leading lady and I
hope she isn't a blonde
Hey I'm sorry but you're in here with me
[Music]
[Applause]
thank but this happens to be the only
faith I've got
some chop suey Carly brought you I don't
want it well that's more than that dizzy
Peggy ever gave you way off me won't you
can't just think I'm all choked up well
why don't you run button your collar
don't get funny
I'm desperate desperate y-you don't mean
to tell me you're gonna harm yourself
over a worthless woman does your part
the way I'm feeling right now there's no
telling what out so what I'm going
through the night
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
it's gonna be the night plain suicide
something fancy hi please
his spirit is broken
life doesn't mean a thing that is going
to end
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you drag him down it is not my work I'm
a good girl the hardware department the
place where I toy I'm queen of the knots
in the boat somehow I feel safer with
axes around to protect me
we got our new floor walk some time ago
he was to face with one was enough he
threw me again
a nice women act and I said now you stop
I'll give
I'm a mother and a father I'm a lady
[Music]
but I know for instance while walking
straight home I was hailed by a passing
machine
when you go for a ride to the man on the
truck he was pleased and was young as I
reach and he started to dock in his
peace
[Music]
I'm
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
fresh fruit I hate it just bananas can
you imagine that conductor saying that
your singing was noise don't be
sarcastic well I should think you
speaking up in the show without showing
off your on the relay absolutely no I
didn't hear your request well I read
their mind well if you're a mind reader
why don't you go out and do what I'm
thinking of now I can't read your mind
how can I read something that's a blank
he hands me more hidden
he's probably sitting on that wealthy
barber slab right now and not getting a
haircut
[Music]
[Applause]
if I only had a gonna kill myself hey
prop water drop out get out - leave me
alone babe you're gonna kill yourself
give me two weeks notice
Eddie please say I've been through this
too much with him don't you think I've
got a grin talkin well alright if you
want to play a little Daniel in the
lion's den go ahead but if you bite you
don't blame me
[Applause]
oh great can I borrow your variety
all right
I wanna see by the breakfast to the plan
next week
[Applause]
they are homiletics is Christmas
come on what do you know if I said Oh
Flo King and RINO and King just had a
baby boy Kokomo Indiana have all those
pounds they had to pick out Kokomo and
that's an awful handicap to start a kid
out in the world with yeah Terry can I
guess you hear the news
Peggy quit the show tonight
oh did she
no one on the show like that much did
they oh sure they're all liked it but
nobody thought she was good enough for
you only didn't they
[Applause]
okay still right at that sure they were
right
but you suffer just the same way last
season in Peoria why when you gave glass
mercy you're picking these dogs I didn't
give it away I loaned it to her well
whatever it was she took your dog when
she ran away with a tie for that oh that
was different
oh you always say that
you don't carry the trouble with you is
you're too good to women I know I'm not
yes you are you're too good hearted if
you want a woman to stick by you to be
crazy about you being different to her
don't show her too much affection
Holly that's a great idea
[Applause]
the next woman I fall in love with I'm
going to pop out right on the nose
that's what I'm gonna do
these are just laconic
[Music]
well how do you do miss Wayne oh do you
know greenberg I mean cardova stop
kidding she knows me we're in the same
show together two years ago well that's
fine
I'm sure Don will keep you from being
lonesome he's very obliging that way I
didn't know you were the same this way
that I knew before hey rod
All Right girls come on come on
everybody break it out as we used to no
no I thought you were supposed to be in
Europe I was over there didn't you get
my letters oh yeah I got all your
letters all your cable bands and all
your flowers
ha ha same old ass Oh same old Don still
making love to every girl but you mean
oh no I miss one occasionally uh you'll
pardon me oh yes coming charlie
how do you work this thing oh here hold
these oh you do yeah see look minute
yeah did you just turn they're gonna get
sixy funny great yeah you don't want
these things anymore do you
what are you trying to do give the whole
troupe a fever baby sneezing all over
the joint oh I love them
I don't know they make you look like a
nursemaid to a cow don't you get smart
with me you're fresh city slicker oh
well we were wait miss Wayne is the mr.
Fay your lover Oh in the show I've heard
so many wonderful things about you know
on the level honestly I have in fact
I've heard wonderful things about all of
you but I do hope you'll take me into
your happy little family food why you're
in already Oh miss Whelan I want you to
meet my partner oh no no no she isn't
well why isn't that a panic she thought
you were my wife why we only work
together
this is Kali Seymour of faith and FEMA
you know I've been doubly
wherever did you get them I hit a little
fail cost me two and a half
oh no job take me through a barbed-wire
fence
we know nice little
[Music]
although the same flowers you'll pick
sure why they look so different in here
you sure the flowers you're looking at
one and two all right before we start
rehearse I want to give miss Wayne a
brief outline of the show on this Wayne
now the first act opens in the lobby of
a Palm Beach Hotel you're a famous
Broadway actress down there on a
vacation sea park by the way how do you
look at our baby why never mind we'll
get to that later now Terry here is the
hotel owners handsome son Court he puts
on plenty of makeup my pal now you two
are absolutely crazy about each other
almost to the Gaga point you see what I
mean oh yes I understand
now Kali here is a little checkroom girl
at the hotel and she's secretly in love
with Perry
but he's too dumb to see it however the
first thing you have to worry about is
the love number that comes early in the
first act
it's oh lucky me and lovable you and
that's it it goes like this
lucky me
yeah don't you want me to play it for
hey don't be so ambitious oh if you
don't mind I'd love to hear mr. facing
it it would give me a much better idea
of the number all right Terry go ahead
and sing it and Carly you show her how
the girls are I mean these squeaky
fights that get arrested for disturbing
the peace
yeah but you don't have to say it just
walk through it so he'll have somebody
to work with what's the matter
Holly I don't do those pretty numbers
Terry I'm one of those pie in the face
comedian you know going to make them
real bad all the please do oh well
alright I don't want to hold up for her
so you know your kids Wayne right here
oh I figure there's no money tonight Oh
check him out I can win it you know this
will be the first time you ever sang me
a love song
come on boy let's have that stone all
right guys
I was never lucky at polka print your
games like that when I buy a stock it
sure to fall but all that I have to do
is to think of having you I am NOT on
nah
[Music]
nobody
[Music]
lucky me
are in me
[Music]
nobody
Oh
[Music]
jeez golly that was great he didn't
wonderful waiting for playboy first time
I ever got a bang out of that number
I don't know you put that something in
it there's always needed hey you keep on
I'll be asking for a raise
see I didn't know you had it in miss
Wayne I'm sorry to interrupt but they're
still the more they show like that
anyway gastly be alright if there was
ice
now in the second act Terry joins the
army and follows you to France and Karly
here loves Terry so much that she
follows him disguised as a donor no I
mean a Doughboy oh wait a minute I'm
going too fast
I nearly forgot to have another number
in the first act
it's called do I know what I'm doing oh
yes they gave me that song just before I
left New York and I learned it on the
train it was just made to order for me
well I'd love to hear you sing it how
about a video well I guess we have time
[Music]
oh we understand
all right good do I know what I'm doing
I know what no but I've got to let the
whole world know of my brand new phone
is the Romeo Oh funny next me he does
Rex me and when I'm with him I'll tell
you frankly that
I don't know where I'm at no one home
and the coast is clear alone and he
comes near and he applied that him oh my
dear do I know what I'm doing
do his arms wrong and he hugs me with
all these night and if I turn down the
light do I know what I'm doing I never
know how away meet man but when he gets
that way I lose control of myself and I
suppose we bill and to do I know what
I'm doing when we go for another ride
and I'm cuddled by his side if my brakes
begin to slide do I know what I'm doing
out of town among those farms he gives
me those Gilbert charms ROM and if I got
a bowie nissan if I know what I'm doing
you want to see him he's so big and
athletic and when he hugs in the old
girls it's just like an anaesthetic
I'll take me sir honey that skips around
you go and my corns they could hurt me
so and if I Bodie are Dodos in - I know
what I'm doing the damn thing
I could shove it in your face you're no
use to you
[Music]
oh when I really know the number I can
do it so much better
oh you're wonderful Oh even bothering
you too much I think the customers are
expecting us to give a maknae here today
oh I'm sorry Eddie but we simply
couldn't break away from that luncheon
at the fresh well oh yes and they might
talk to the editors I gave you credit
for spending our show very nice of you
you're always doing me favors
hurry it up we're all mature all the
char
[Music]
unveil the monument it is perfectly
right they're all worrying about Harry
waiting on him hand and foot that I have
been waiting on him lately anymore that
you're going to be home right now I am
[Music]
look at that oh why don't you let Lester
do all that stuff I'm paying them for it
last night Lester let you go out on the
stage with a shirt and makeup all over
the collar collie you see what it says
I'm here to my darling Terry boy deaf
that's a nice picture of Daphne isn't it
hmm
hey the most wonderful girl I ever met
in my life you know she was raised in a
convent you knew that didn't you
oh yeah she told me what I'd love to do
with a Bambi
why I'm the first guy she's ever really
cared
by owner the other night just clownin I
made believe I wasn't going to kiss a
good night and the poor little kid cried
like a baby boy she's on the level well
that's fine Harry you're a fine pal if
you are in love with some guy I'd give
you encouragement
why don't we discourage it Harry but I
know you so well
oh you don't know me at all all you can
think about is all right
[Music]
there's something else in the world
besides show business
you don't know what real love is
[Music]
what can I do
just so long as you're sure it's okay
with me
[Music]
don't mind what I said just now I got a
little excited I had to talk to somebody
you know what I mean you don't have to
explain to me good I know you so well
[Music]
you
[Music]
hey why don't you have an osteopath give
your neck a twist one cured me of gall
stones Oh Polly
yes tell me the good over I must see him
before he leaves the theater all right
come in here come in yes but definitely
I know you'll say this is none of my
business but well it's only because I
know just how crazy Terry is about you
but I even got up nerve enough to come
in here
why yes what's on your mind honey well
do you know what a break Terry's heart
if he'd ever find out about Cordova
cardova just what are you driving at Oh
Daphne well when when you and Don were
quarreling in the wings today I didn't
mean to listen but I couldn't help
overhearing every word you said oh
please don't do this to Terry
he doesn't deserve it why don't you give
up Cordova what you dirty little scandal
longer you how dare you come in here and
accuse me of something that you know is
an absolute lie
Hey what do you mean by that I haven't
even talked to cut over today what's
more I scarcely know him
why dad me oh wait am I tell Terry about
this oh you won't do that oh no you see
yeah
[Music]
[Applause]
just a moment I've got something to say
to you what do you mean by starting all
rotten malicious lie about Daphne and
toward done Padova oh don't be filling
these gems around here you can't have a
laugh anymore
Wow just kidding that's me about Cordova
well you're funny gang don't make me
laugh
and I want you to get this straight from
now on you keep Daphne's name out of
y'all coming up Joe alright alright
alright have it your own way
you're coming back with me in a flower
get that funny - thank you everything
Oh Eddie you just missed it Fayed
Seymour put on a neck with Carly
grabbing all the vows hey don't worry
about Carly she can take care of herself
you said it how well I know Oh Polly
what happened well Terry why he just
went down the street he went chasing
after Carly all he'll catch is pneumonia
[Music]
hey you ought to wear a hat when you go
out in the rain you're liable to get
water on the brain huh if any Dom dear
please let me in
well just what are you trying to sell me
Terry sister is married to Sam Morgan
who owns all these road shows and has
three fitters on Broadway so what but
I'm going to use Terry as a stepping
stone to Broadway if necessary I'll
marry him
and once I plant these four aids on the
main stem I'll put it over and I'll be
made yeah and I suppose you retire to
little home with the kiddies in the
garden huh wrong again I'll give Terry
more air than Lindbergh needed to fly to
Paris wouldn't you give a year of your
life if you know that it will land you
on easy street the rest of your days
yeah but it kind of puts me in a funny
light sticking around until the woman
makes good so so I can marry her now
I'll leave it to me Don
Terry is right for picking honey do you
mean that or is it just another one of
your gags oh please please Don be
reasonable you know I love you
Kali
that'll even threat I want you to throw
a button out of hope
I'll let you turn on the light you want
me to break my neck
Colleen I'm sorry the way I talk to you
a little while ago well you were right
again as usual you know after you left
me standing there in the rain I went
back and found Daphne in Catawbas
dressing room
well if that it was all your fault had
no reason to let me fall in love with it
oh I know you tried to warn me but you
should have made me stay away from well
when this show leaves here tonight
it leaves without me I'm all washed up
I'm going back to New York what's the
matter with you here I say I'm going to
leave the show and you don't say
anything
Jerry you're old enough to know what
you're doing Oh see
don't either
[Music]
the George Holly
[Music]
you had a small foot
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
we might as well leave that right down
there Kali you know I've been taking it
over
I'm not going to give that woman the
satisfaction of walking out on the show
besides I've got you to think about
than partners too long battling through
the small time with tougher incest cheap
theatres playing a million benefits
living in left handed boarding houses
until finally we built ourselves into a
standard to act and now some smart
cracking Dame is coming along and find a
kid somebody and split us up Hey oh you
wanna hop around the nose
[Music]
why I don't know whether it's the
lightener climate Oh what it is but you
look like a little schoolgirl sitting
there
[Music]
you know what next season we ought to do
a fashion plate act no more clown
makeups for you
[Applause]
put it on again honey
me
[Music]
we happy
[Music]
nobody
[Music]
No
me
[Music]
and you were sitting on the bed I got
the feeling that you were sorted when
we're going to give me the air that
would be awful
might be like a boat without a rudder
without you promise me no matter what
happens we'll always stick together
where's my hand on a Perry that's better
than the contract to me
[Music]
but they leave accompanied would see us
here like this they swear we were a
couple of lovers
[Music]
I know what's come over me is it the
rain on the music or what is it
Kali somehow you seem so different
tonight it feels like I just met you for
the first time
mhm isn't that funny Kali you know
something I think I'm falling for you on
the level
don't laugh it may not mean anything to
you but honestly I'm crazy about you
[Music]
have you no but I'll fix that right now
main dining room please you leave it it
hello head waiter we serve a private
dining room for mr. Terry paid in effort
- yes everything from soup to nuts
think it was a week's salary are you
kidding me so extravagant what do I care
for two dollars I'm funny that alley up
you run along I'll meet you down the
lobby in five minutes all right take
your time but make it snappy
[Music]
did I leave my hat in here I guess not
no Jerry please let me explain
there's nothing to explain but Terry boy
you've got to listen well I've seen and
heard enough you've got to let me
explain
no please Terry I won't keep you just a
moment alright hey what's the matter
with you tonight
you got a relative out in front no
somebody put me on a merry-go-round and
forgot to pick me off have you gotta go
in and brush
Terry's piece for him say where's Matt
I've gotta grab myself I tried to talk
to Mac it's been avoiding me say would
you please save your vitality for later
on in life you'll need it
I know what I'm talking about
that doesn't prove a thing no I was
kissed by a Spaniard once now look at me
Oh Terry
oh hello gee I don't blame you serve
inside me it was my own dumb sauce I
thought I never would get dressed and
packed tonight and when I did finally
get downstairs I couldn't find you and
you were probably out looking for me
somewhere cuz you're right in your room
when I called so I rushed right over to
the theater only to find you were still
out looking for me when they called
overture one of those silly missing
routines oh gee I'm sorry Terry
oh that's alright Kali it was all my
fault
Oh get it we'll make up for it tonight
look well throw a party on the train and
have a lot alas huh what do you say Oh
Mama's little daddy nothing I'm alright
Oh Holly dolly well I didn't see you Oh
Terry
have you told her yet uh-huh we can't
keep our secrets from little Colleen why
she's just like one of the family now
yeah look isn't it pretty
it all happened so suddenly today after
the matinee Terry
dragged me down and meet some friends of
his who turned out to be a justice of
peace and two minutes later I found
myself married
imagine my surprise and oh isn't it
thrilling every 150 a great joke on the
company yeah second act let's hurry oh
yeah oh yeah I wish you both all of luck
in the world
thank you would it be a great joke on
the company
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
let's run over the other hotel right
away and see that everybody taken care
of Sarang goodness we close tonight I
certainly regret the day I ever join
this show so do i all keep cool we've
only got one more day of it Oh crazy
little town yeah say this a ringer for
my hometown yeah Carly you don't mind oh
yeah see in this night I like small
towns don't you yeah gee Carly I wish
you were laying off this summer so you
could spend your vacation with mother
and me on every kitchen table if I
didn't have to work you don't know what
you're missing the old sweetheart has a
cellar full of preserves and good
homemade pie hey maybe I can talk you
into it you'll ruin my new half and
you'll ruin my whole season for my
operation
everybody quiet please mr. raucous
something to save you on the closing
night of every road show it's customary
for the stage manager to make a speech
for no reason at all now the reason for
making this speech is to let you know
that after tonight you're all at liberty
to go back to those fifty thousand
dollar homes you've been lying about all
season but at that we've been one big
happy family
just think of it 42 weeks together and
only one fight it started the opening
night and it's still on you know this
company should never have had a stage
manager what they really needed was a
referee well anyway when you please turn
in the Wardrobe to Polly but otherwise
I'll have to pay for tonight know you
wouldn't want her to take three or four
thousand out of my salary this week but
folks in all sincerity I want you to
know that I appreciate your cooperation
in making this a most wonderful seat and
I sure hope that when the curtain goes
up next August we'll all be together
again bless you all have been a great
bunch thank
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you - all I can say is that I'm
sorry sorry Eddie really charming I'll
be married then she'll be with you for
life Eddie
hey what's the matter with you two kids
you ought to be ashamed of yourself both
you fighting around here like a couple
of wild cats all season long now why
don't you get together and make up Oh
stay that way you know that after
tonight you may never see each other
again
to realize that after tonight you may
never see each other again
now come on Polly come on be a good
fella tell me you're sorry
and make him you're right Eddie dear I'm
awfully sorry Bonnie darling what I said
daddy
no come on Bonnie you heard her
apologize that she was sorry now be a
good father
oh well that's all right Polly
really Eddie you must have had a
wonderful father
oh he was a pretty good guy
I got something my dressing room for you
Holly can I see you a moment
why sure Terry what is it
I've been wanting to get together with
you oh yeah yeah but you see you Daphne
well that is we well Daphne has some
friends in New York who are agents well
anyway now that we're married you know
what I mean
I think I know what you're trying to say
Terry yeah why don't blame you for
splitting with me know what's only
natural you want to do an act with your
wife yeah she has been tough to tell you
this and the way that you taking it it's
just not me off my feet oh come on
old-timer the end of the world as bad as
all that and I'm gonna be there opening
night and if your act isn't good I'm
gonna read you plenty I don't know but I
feel kind of rotten just fit like this
with you I don't worry about me I'll get
a medium John well Callie I want you to
know one thing
wherever it breaks tough for you and you
don't call on me I won't consider that
you are my pal you know that Harry
hey Ruby yeah put on some whitener and
cover up those freckles on your legs
that's me oh it was a dandy speech Eddie
oh I'm proud of you yeah thanks
yeah Eddie that was good thank you too
Oh Eddie excuse me a minute Perry no on
the level huh
chickie that's the best news I've heard
all season do you mean it hey what's the
big secret
am i a piece of scenery around here boy
what a break I got
Barney's going away with me tomorrow
going away what do you mean going away
I've just booked her for a summers
engagement down on my mother's farm with
a milk pail on my arm
pardon me mr. doc could I see you for a
moment it's something very important
excuse me yeah
Holly I know it's none of my business
but I don't think it looks right for you
to spend the summer than a single man's
home why carry oh don't be silly
well you know how people talk well
Eddie's mother's going to be there and
I've been crazy to meet her cuz I think
he's one of the finest fellows I ever
met in all my life
oh I'm not saying he isn't a nice fella
but I thought you'd be around Broadway
this summer in case
well when the agents catch Daphne doing
the act with me they may not want to
book it why you've got nothing to worry
about
you'll be a great team together and
besides it'll be a relief for me to get
away from show business for the summer
why you're not figuring on getting
married are you come on come on girls
please now is that a nice thing to do to
me no Eddie don't be mad be a good
fellow I know a girl that's tough but
can't you wait until after the show now
please do me a favor and put it away
you're positively right Eddie
we'll put it away that's fine and we're
gonna make this last show a pip hey girl
you said it Eddie on the face go he's
absolutely right
let us do him a favor we'll put it away
come on
[Applause]
ladies and gentlemen on behalf of the
entire company and speaking for my
partner miss Seymour and myself I wish
to thank you for the generous manner in
which you received our performance this
evening and in closing I only hope that
you will enjoy the third and last act
half as much as we have in performing
before such a large and marvelous
audience I thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
I'm sorry but it
[Applause]
yeah last time you left the handoff that
line of Hui
oh did you bring yellow rock all right
with them wide crack how about the cash
for that white rock
well white rock is charged water it's
charged
Oh while I'm the protagonist
that's all right Polly in five minutes
I'll have your strawberries damn I don't
even know what town I love you stop
pushing
you know Polly next season we move porn
this whole I will do the show less
you're in it I'll never forget how kind
you were to me it's 15 years ago but
I'll never forget it you know that
little country town with dr. bending
over me he said nothing nothing for
favourable operation what are you do
you're done down in your sock you're
holding nothing you worked all the
summer lost your vacation operation
maybe we're never gonna fight against
each other we're gonna fight for each
other higher and water
[Music]
[Applause]
Oh husband stuff on me again you know he
doesn't mean anything to me I'm crazy
about you honey
but I don't see where I rate to be
sneaking and dodging around here like a
big chump oh my poor boy
I know I know darling but you can't
leave me you can't no sweetheart
Oh say you're taking an awful chance
with me in here
suppose Terry should come in I'd better
duck I'll see you later
don't forget the address Daphne I'm sure
Terry will like these packages they're
imported absolutely the best tankage of
all in the market thanks Don hello are
you calling me why no Terry I thought I
heard you mention my name
oh that yeah Daphne wants a surprise and
get to some hanket just like this I just
gave her the address yeah yeah beautiful
hey mind if I take a look at it under
life gee just the kind I like whatever
you do don't tell that the I told you
it'll spoil her surprise that's allowed
done she'll hear you that's the trouble
with these old fashioned barns you can
hear everything that's going on in the
next room huh I got other homes all
covered up with tin can you imagine a
lot of steps making peep holes so they
can see what's going on in the next room
yeah that's terrible Terry awful look
there's one they forgot to cover up can
you imagine if I was SAP enough to be
looking through there just in time to
catch some guy kissing my wife wouldn't
that be a laugh mm-hmm
yeah but but you wouldn't do a thing
like that well I gotta be going I'll see
you later it's the last act you know you
said it it's the last act for you what
do you mean oh I'm not playing about
what just happened I'm tickled to death
I just want to give you something to
remember me by
go on get up I don't want to see your
face again
Harry what a sucker I am a blind chunk
come on and I could have had the
sweetest girl in the world a pal
one who would have been a real wife and
I had a fall for that but don't worry
about it
come on Terry we're late now hurry it up
if ever a guy was washed up I am I'm
through I tell you Eddie I'm through I'm
sorry but you'll have to ring down the
curtain I can't go on
I don't blame me a bit oh boy I know
just how you feel
but you know if we don't give this last
act we got to give the folks back there
doh
now you wouldn't do that to me would you
oh my how that's broken my spirit is
gone this is the end I'm gonna get a gun
and kill myself
ah sit up I'll take care of that hey
props get me a gun with real bullets
hey make that a machine gun let me
handle it Betty
they ever since I've known you and
watched one love affair after another a
year ago on the rock you always end up
with that beautiful little ballad
entitled I'm gonna bump my stuff off you
faint in a shooting gallery you haven't
got the backbone of the jellyfish and
you'd be doing the world a great favor
if you can eliminate yourself of all the
self-centered egotistical selfish people
I've ever met
you're all of them rolled into one
always pulling that 10-20-30 melodrama
self always acting on and off you
haven't got one sincere bone in that
inflated head of yours around here
begging for except a thing and feeling
sorry for yourself and what's already
came in here and tried to talk to you
like a brother you went into a
grandstand speech like you wouldn't man
stealer somebody well I want to tell you
something Fay and Seymour are gonna
finish this show tonight if I have to
knock your unconscious and drag you out
there now get on that coat come on down
I'll win it
cheek honey that was great but it's too
late now Daphne quit no yeah she just
lets the theater what do we do you gotta
go out and give a curtain speech sure
I'll tell them that the leading lady
broke her leg and we had a shoot okay
everybody please places everybody
you're not gonna go on are you I'm gonna
see about that put your arms in here
come on get them in here move into a
sexist getting just a little tired of
this not gonna go on are you come on get
out of that stage
[Music]
you